Fundie Divorces

[JermajestyDuggar]

Ben was already cheating on Emily when he filed for divorce. He got with that girl for a little while and when they broke up he jumped right into another relationship. I doubt he leaves a relationship without someone to go to. 

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ben was already cheating on Emily when he filed for divorce. He got with that girl for a little while and when they broke up he jumped right into another relationship. I doubt he leaves a relationship without someone to go to. 

Yeah, he sounds like a mess. Definitely someone who doesn't understand the concept of "casually dating to get to know someone."

I was surprised at the number of people online dating who put "separated" in their profiles but, er, didn't exactly meet my definition of separated (still living together, the marriage was just having problems). They didn't seem to think this counted as cheating; they were so codependent that the concept of being single was unfathomable and they assumed everyone did this to line up the next person before filing for divorce. My cousin, who's been engaged five times starting at age sixteen, did this with her first husband and I'm sure will do it with the second.

Edited April 30, 2020 by nausicaa

[lexiloumarie]

Emily's post was heartbreaking - shed apparently suspected for a long while and she was so committed to her lifestyle and her marriage that she just kept going anyway.

Bens last marriage was not over most likely when he met the current girl. His ex wife had a miscarriage the end of July. I can't imagine making it Facebook official with someone new 30 days later unless you were already acquainted. Looks like the new Mrs Brower to be had a miscarriage as well which might explain the house and marriage proposal. He just seems like he knows he's good looking and he takes that as far as he can. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, lexiloumarie said:

Emily's post was heartbreaking - shed apparently suspected for a long while and she was so committed to her lifestyle and her marriage that she just kept going anyway.

Bens last marriage was not over most likely when he met the current girl. His ex wife had a miscarriage the end of July. I can't imagine making it Facebook official with someone new 30 days later unless you were already acquainted. Looks like the new Mrs Brower to be had a miscarriage as well which might explain the house and marriage proposal. He just seems like he knows he's good looking and he takes that as far as he can. 

 

His current fiancé posted on FB in February that she had an ectopic pregnancy. I wonder what his fundie family thinks of him being twice divorced, committed adultry, and his newest fiancé was pregnant outside of marriage. 

Edited April 30, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[Tangy Bee]

Some of the older FJers probably remember a popular blog called, Resolved to Worship. Blogger's name is Alyssa Welch. She grew up as a more fashion liberal fundie, but was definitely deep fundie with a courtship to go along. Her husband was older than her and I think he grew up more strict fundie. Most of her blog was pretty open about her beliefs and tons of photos of her beautiful family. All looked well back then. Well looks like she's divorced and uses her maiden name, Wakefield. Her Facebook page talks about "spiritual abuse". Very interesting. Her kids now go to regular school and her son Shelton is trying to start a singing career. He's not bad. Had time on my hands and started wondering about old blogs I use to lurk on. Some turned mainstream. Others fundie lite. Still shocked Joecyln Dixon is an unmarried, with kids, orange hair atheist. She was as HARD core fundie as they come.

Edited April 30, 2020 by Tangy Bee

[Laura2730]

These fundies have also divorced (big in VF circles):

Kelly Leininger and Richard Welch (1997-2010)- 3 kids

Sarah Bakke and Joshua Wean (2003-2010)- 3 kids

 

Edited April 30, 2020 by Laura2730

[JermajestyDuggar]

26 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Some of the older FJers probably remember a popular blog called, Resolved to Worship. Blogger's name is Alyssa Welch. She grew up as a more fashion liberal fundie, but was definitely deep fundie with a courtship to go along. Her husband was older than her and I think he grew up more strict fundie. Most of her blog was pretty open about her beliefs and tons of photos of her beautiful family. All looked well back then. Well looks like she's divorced and uses her maiden name, Wakefield. Her Facebook page talks about "spiritual abuse". Very interesting. Her kids now go to regular school and her son Shelton is trying to start a singing career. He's not bad. Had time on my hands and started wondering about old blogs I use to lurk on. Some turned mainstream. Others fundie lite. Still shocked Joecyln Dixon is an unmarried, with kids, orange hair atheist. She was as HARD core fundie as they come.

Jocelyn Dixon seems to just jump right in and go hard on whatever belief she fancies at the time. I wouldn’t be shocked if she jumped into something else in a few years. 

[Aine]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Jocelyn Dixon seems to just jump right in and go hard on whatever belief she fancies at the time. I wouldn’t be shocked if she jumped into something else in a few years. 

I can very much relate to the weird period of time when you go from belief in something to atheist. Questioning the faith and religion I grew up with was among the most painful experiences of my life. A lot of thinking, "But that doesn't make sense to me..." in my head and then begging God/Jesus for forgiveness for even thinking that and crying and praying. It took years for me to be comfortable enough that I wasn't going to be struck down, that I truly don't believe there was anyone/anything to strike me down, to say aloud to someone for the first time, "I don't believe in God. I'm an atheist."

But once I got to that point, it's like a dam broke, and I couldn't understand how anyone could fall for all the irrationality and not see it and I was militant for a number of years as an atheist (in my teens...but I have seen this happen across age groups when questioning faith so ingrained). Then I began to mellow and realized that what others believed was their choice, as long as no one is harmed then believing in whatever is fine, and my morals didn't differ from the vast majority of people who believed in a higher power. I got back to this equilibrium of spirituality being personal and understanding the comfort it brings people.

I think people who switch from belief in different religions or doctrines and go all in every time are a different kind of person than the one who makes the leap to being atheist or even agnostic. Agnosticism at least keeps a foot over both lines. From religious faith to atheism is a tough mental leap in the first place and even tougher to reverse, in my experience.

[bea]

Ben Brower, who was married to Emily (Case) Brower, is engaged again. After his very short marriage last summer this is going to be his 3rd try. Emily seems to remain single after a short relationship in 2018 (or was it 2019??) while Ben's other ex has married yet again. 
 

Is his FB public? I always kind of liked Emily and she seemed to have been blindsided by Ben suddenly deciding “nah, I don’t want to be married.”

[JermajestyDuggar]

Part of me thinks that if Ben had not grown up fundie, he would still be single and dating around. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was married to Emily and wished he had experienced more before he got married so young. He grew up with the idea that sex is only for marriage. Maybe after sleeping with a girlfriend for awhile, he feels pressured to marry. And that’s why this is his going to be his 3rd marriage. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

On 4/30/2020 at 11:46 AM, Aine said:

I can very much relate to the weird period of time when you go from belief in something to atheist. Questioning the faith and religion I grew up with was among the most painful experiences of my life. A lot of thinking, "But that doesn't make sense to me..." in my head and then begging God/Jesus for forgiveness for even thinking that and crying and praying. It took years for me to be comfortable enough that I wasn't going to be struck down, that I truly don't believe there was anyone/anything to strike me down, to say aloud to someone for the first time, "I don't believe in God. I'm an atheist."

But once I got to that point, it's like a dam broke, and I couldn't understand how anyone could fall for all the irrationality and not see it and I was militant for a number of years as an atheist (in my teens...but I have seen this happen across age groups when questioning faith so ingrained). Then I began to mellow and realized that what others believed was their choice, as long as no one is harmed then believing in whatever is fine, and my morals didn't differ from the vast majority of people who believed in a higher power. I got back to this equilibrium of spirituality being personal and understanding the comfort it brings people.

I think people who switch from belief in different religions or doctrines and go all in every time are a different kind of person than the one who makes the leap to being atheist or even agnostic. Agnosticism at least keeps a foot over both lines. From religious faith to atheism is a tough mental leap in the first place and even tougher to reverse, in my experience.

I would agree with all of this, and say that it can even go in waves and circles once you are an atheist. I find my atheism now varies between militant and scientifically agnostic, depending on how much I've been thinking about the universe on any given day.

The thing is, on the one hand I am a proud and militant atheist. On the other hand the universe is so mind blowingly huge, and... Where did we come from? How did we become semi-sentient stardust? How can the universe be so big? Why are we born into a universe that we're too pitifully small to understand? How did the big bang happen? When did time start? How is time real?

Our existence is so minute that... I understand people's desire/need for answers. Not having answers nor anyway to reasonably get answers is unsettling.

[Nolongeroppressed8.4]

On 4/29/2020 at 9:57 PM, nausicaa said:

Yeah, he sounds like a mess. Definitely someone who doesn't understand the concept of "casually dating to get to know someone."

I was surprised at the number of people online dating who put "separated" in their profiles but, er, didn't exactly meet my definition of separated (still living together, the marriage was just having problems). They didn't seem to think this counted as cheating; they were so codependent that the concept of being single was unfathomable and they assumed everyone did this to line up the next person before filing for divorce. My cousin, who's been engaged five times starting at age sixteen, did this with her first husband and I'm sure will do it with the second.

I heard that Joe Darnell (brother of VF intern original Natty Darnell) was considering himself “available” again as soon as his wife filed. Apparently the legality of a divorce finalizing more than a year AFTER you start a relationship with the new girl is okay in their mind because divorce is forthcoming. Someone I know said his wife told them he went through mediation crying and bawling about wanting to reconcile — but he’d started a relationship with his to-be-wife 4-5 months before that! Apparently he thinks everyone is too stupid to do the math. LOL 

[Aine]

On 5/1/2020 at 10:26 PM, CaptainFunderpants said:

Where did we come from? How did we become semi-sentient stardust? How can the universe be so big? Why are we born into a universe that we're too pitifully small to understand? How did the big bang happen? When did time start? How is time real?

Our existence is so minute that... I understand people's desire/need for answers. Not having answers nor anyway to reasonably get answers is unsettling.

I agree with all of this. While I'm "scientifically agnostic" in a way, I truly don't believe in a higher power at the base level. I think there are explanations for things that we still don't understand and when I look at all that has been discovered and explained in the past 100 years even, things that would have been seen as 'magic' 10-20 years before being discovered, it leads me to believe that science has the eventual ability to explain and discover much more. I wish I could believe in a higher power because I know what a comfort it is for others and what a comfort it once was for me. I've given effort to the mission of believing again but it's always disingenuous. The one thing that gives me comfort is nature and who needs a creator to be in awe of all of that complexity and adaptiveness?! Way more wondrous to me when I think of the billions of years of species and life on this planet to create that end result. Also, any omnipotent God that allows certain things to happen isn't one I want to worship. The final thing that gives me comfort is that the fear of what comes after life is universal- if it wasn't, even the most devout fundies wouldn't seek any kind of medical attention in serious circumstances because they believe they will be in heaven. People generally fight for life in some way and they seek to make meaning, and some existential fear drives that on some level. But for me, I know billions of people have gone before me into whatever is beyond or a void of nothingness and I'm not special- it's the one uniting thing among all humans. We love, we grieve, we feel pain and a spectrum of emotions, and we die. So I think about things unanswered as something that unites me with every other cognizant human; past, present, and future.

But yeah, I am with you- I understand the desire and will to have answers, the fear when you don't, and the will to find an explanation through religion to satiate that uncertainty. I wish I could make myself go back.

[ophelia]

On 4/30/2020 at 3:57 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

His current fiancé posted on FB in February that she had an ectopic pregnancy. I wonder what his fundie family thinks of him being twice divorced, committed adultry, and his newest fiancé was pregnant outside of marriage. 

His mother commented on one of the pictures his new wife-to-be posted with him. So apparently they haven't shunned him or anything. 

On the other hand they also married off their teen-daughter who is already pregnant. They still seem to want to get their kids married off young. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, ophelia said:

His mother commented on one of the pictures his new wife-to-be posted with him. So apparently they haven't shunned him or anything. 

On the other hand they also married off their teen-daughter who is already pregnant. They still seem to want to get their kids married off young. 

I honestly can’t think of too many fundies who full on shun their children. I think they know it’s pointless to shun. I think they are always trying to get their children back into their version of Christianity. Whether that’s through guilt or passive aggressive behavior. It’s likely why he keeps getting married instead of just dating these women long term. He thinks marriage will make everything right when it obviously doesn’t.

[ophelia]

His parents screwed him big time by raising him with these beliefs towards women, relationships, romance and marriage. 

 

[refugee]

On 4/30/2020 at 7:03 AM, Tangy Bee said:

Some of the older FJers probably remember a popular blog called, Resolved to Worship. Blogger's name is Alyssa Welch. She grew up as a more fashion liberal fundie, but was definitely deep fundie with a courtship to go along. Her husband was older than her and I think he grew up more strict fundie. Most of her blog was pretty open about her beliefs and tons of photos of her beautiful family. All looked well back then. Well looks like she's divorced and uses her maiden name, Wakefield. Her Facebook page talks about "spiritual abuse". Very interesting. Her kids now go to regular school and her son Shelton is trying to start a singing career. He's not bad. Had time on my hands and started wondering about old blogs I use to lurk on. Some turned mainstream. Others fundie lite. Still shocked Joecyln Dixon is an unmarried, with kids, orange hair atheist. She was as HARD core fundie as they come.

Related to Norm Wakefield, by any chance?

[Mrs. Bean]

18 hours ago, refugee said:

Related to Norm Wakefield, by any chance?

His daughter 

[ophelia]

Ben Brower got married on Tuesday. He and his 3rd wife were engaged on April 19. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 hours ago, ophelia said:

Ben Brower got married on Tuesday. He and his 3rd wife were engaged on April 19. 

I wonder how many times he will be married before he just gives up.

[JMO]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wonder how many times he will be married before he just gives up.

5 is my guess and I don't even know much about him. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

What's the over - under on how long Marriage #3 will last.  I say 6 months

[JMO]

Each one seems progressively shorter.  I say 3 months. 

[ophelia]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wonder how many times he will be married before he just gives up.

I really hope this one works out for him and if not that they don't add any kids to the mix. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I have a feeling he will stick this one out longer to prove people wrong. I imagine a third marriage gets a lot of pushback. But it won’t last forever. My guess is 2 years.