Josiah and Lauren 15: The Drama Llama Rolls On

[amendgitan]

On 10/25/2019 at 12:04 AM, Chewing Gum said:

I agree, John had to basically wait 14 years (16-30, is he 30 yet?) in which he couldn't look at, talk to, kiss a girl or help himself out. Then he has one at his disposal for every second of every day. He'a a teenager now, but on camera. We're seeing the unnatural outcome of his upbringing. I'd worry more if he was indifferent towards her so soon after marriage. Like Siah is in my eyes: he's talking all lovey-dovey about Lauren but I don't see ANY body language supporting that. To me they're just friends with benefits. 

The silver lining is Abbie seems to be in that stage with him. And she seems to like him. I'm glad for her because having to be married to a guy who looks middle aged and is all over you but you don't like it sounds like a special kind of hell. 

They seem to really like each other. 

Yeah. Josiah and Lauren seem quite different. Maybe they just express themselves differently. But so much of their relationship on screen seems like performance to me. 

Hopefully they're different in real life. It's bad enough living the restrictive and punishing lifestyle they do but I think r would be much worse if they're with someone they're not that into. 

[amendgitan]

12 hours ago, SillyDillys said:

So my boyfriend and I are "courting" just to see how long we can go and understand the Duggar way. (It will be a month nov 1st) and its totally flawed. No alone time, no touching besides side hugs. Its freaking hard and is making me understand how fundies can confuse love for lust. (I am not saying fundie couples who courted are miserable, just that maybe if they were allowed to date some wouldnt have married. Josiah and lauren dont seem very compatible. (Lauren was in love with the idea of fundie royalty and josiah was in lust?) And now they realize that maybe they werent meant to be, but they cant admit that to themselves or each other because jesus (their parents) brought them together. It's sad really

That's some dedication to the cause of fundie understanding! 

[Smee]

I’m not fundie, I dated, and I still managed to confuse lust for love a couple of times. The courtship model doesn’t allow for couples to get to know each other very well, and that’s compounded because it’s all so FAST. If you’re still with your first boyfriend after six months he’s probably looking at engagement rings, or at least getting pressure to. Some people know straight away and that’s cool, I was pretty sure I was going to marry my husband after a month with him, but if I hadn’t had any one-on-one time with him during that month it would have taken a lot longer.

[SillyDillys]

4 hours ago, amendgitan said:

That's some dedication to the cause of fundie understanding! 

Well it's more of a joke and a wager to see who would crack first. I got my boyfriend and his friends into fundies and snarking. We were watching old 19kac episodes on Amazon and we stumbled across the jill/jessa courtships and it's started off funny but its definitely made me look at courtship as more fucked up than I thought. Well granted the whole year we've been together we've been heathens (kissing, sleepovers, etc) so to suddenly go to supervised dates, phone calls, texts and side hugs is trash. I'm an affectionate person and I have desires like damn. 

Edited November 1, 2019 by SillyDillys
Forgot to add something

[CarrotCake]

Anyone else got annoyed by the bad blending of Laurens make-up in the talking heads?

 

[SillyDillys]

@Iamtheway my roommate and two of his friends are chaperones. We have a group text and group phone calls to make sure no righteous words are exchanged. Its inconvenient if none of them are available to chaperone a date. Hell, I had an appointment for the hair salon and I couldnt just bring him but our chaperone(s). I cant hold his hand( that's for "engagement") it ends when he "proposes" so it's based on him when he decides to end it. Side hugging is super fucking weird. It's just unnatural. I'm affectionate, I love to kiss and cuddle my man and to have someone yell nike when I try to wrap my arms around him is crazy, especially in public where we get a lot of crazy looks

[WarriorJane]

20 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I really hope she’s pulled herself together since this was filmed, but the Asa cake at her shower makes me think probably not. Josiah must be praying that the baby takes her mind off of it.

The thing that concerns me most about the Asa cake is that it seems likely that someone in her inner circle provided it.  Of course we don't know,  but if her sisters/mother/in-laws/friends threw the shower, wouldn't one of them have had the idea to do that cake?  Which means that at least one person, or a few, or maybe everyone in her world sees her loss as the same as a full term baby with a gender, and a name, and everything, and they are probably only keeping her mired in her grief, albeit unintentionally.   I don't know if I'm making sense. 

This might sound mean,  it's not meant to be.  I have suffered losses too, but here's the thing about Lauren's situation imo--Life is hard.  Like really hard.   And being a parent is the hardest thing of all.   For all the love and joy and satisfaction and happiness it brings,  it also brings a lot of pain and fear and anxiety and worry and often sadness.   That's just life.  That's how it goes.   And you'd better toughen up and get a little perspective before you head down that road,  because not only do you need mental, emotional,  and spiritual strength and a ton of intestinal fortitude,  but your kids need you to have all that too.  Especially if you plan on having e!eventy.

 

[Peaches-n-Beans]

1 hour ago, WarriorJane said:

The thing that concerns me most about the Asa cake is that it seems likely that someone in her inner circle provided it.  Of course we don't know,  but if her sisters/mother/in-laws/friends threw the shower, wouldn't one of them have had the idea to do that cake?  Which means that at least one person, or a few, or maybe everyone in her world sees her loss as the same as a full term baby with a gender, and a name, and everything, and they are probably only keeping her mired in her grief, albeit unintentionally.   I don't know if I'm making sense. 

This might sound mean,  it's not meant to be.  I have suffered losses too, but here's the thing about Lauren's situation imo--Life is hard.  Like really hard.   And being a parent is the hardest thing of all.   For all the love and joy and satisfaction and happiness it brings,  it also brings a lot of pain and fear and anxiety and worry and often sadness.   That's just life.  That's how it goes.   And you'd better toughen up and get a little perspective before you head down that road,  because not only do you need mental, emotional,  and spiritual strength and a ton of intestinal fortitude,  but your kids need you to have all that too.  Especially if you plan on having e!eventy.

 

I mean, maybe yes someone did provide it and see it the same, but it also could’ve been that someone offered to bake the cake and asked what Lauren wanted on it, or to go to a bakery and get what Lauren wanted. It really doesn’t’ feel like something someone in her inner circle would do without being asked to be honest. Aside from the other Duggar girls i don’t know much about Laurens inner circle so I guess it could’ve been someone she knew pre Duggar, but honestly, I don’t even see Jill Dillard getting that cake without prompting. I think all of them would want to see the baby shower as a time to celebrate the new baby and wouldn’t want to drag up painful memories of the loss.

[Bad Wolf]

Honest question: in the time of the dinosaurs, when I had my kids, we had to wait till they were born to find out the sex (sorry, gender). How early can you find out now? Was Asa really male, or did they just assign that to him?

[WarriorJane]

5 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Honest question: in the time of the dinosaurs, when I had my kids, we had to wait till they were born to find out the sex (sorry, gender). How early can you find out now? Was Asa really male, or did they just assign that to him?

Totally just assigned it.

[Quiver Full of Kittens]

43 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Honest question: in the time of the dinosaurs, when I had my kids, we had to wait till they were born to find out the sex (sorry, gender). How early can you find out now? Was Asa really male, or did they just assign that to him?

One of my good friends is pregnant and they’re doing genetic testing at 11 weeks. At that time they’ll be able to see XX or XY along with all the other things they’re testing for. 

[AussieKrissy]

5 minutes ago, Quiver Full of Kittens said:

One of my good friends is pregnant and they’re doing genetic testing at 11 weeks. At that time they’ll be able to see XX or XY along with all the other things they’re testing for. 

I got tested about then too and results came back when I was about 14 weeks I think.  Blood test.

[FluffySnowball]

@SillyDillys you should win a “member of the month” award! Heck, forget month, YEAR!  

[Libby96]

So this is going to make me sound like a jerk, but I’m genuinely curious.  What does Lauren keep in her Asa box?  It doesn’t seem like she was far enough along to have things like ultrasound pictures and items she had purchased for the baby.

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

14 minutes ago, Libby96 said:

So this is going to make me sound like a jerk, but I’m genuinely curious.  What does Lauren keep in her Asa box?  It doesn’t seem like she was far enough along to have things like ultrasound pictures and items she had purchased for the baby.

She said pregnancy tests and letters they wrote to the baby. Couldn't be more than that, really. 

Lauren comes across as so whiney to me. I don't know how to describe it, but her voice and inflection are incredibly annoying. And of course it doesn't help that she's going on and on about a lost pregnancy that she couldn't have known about for longer than a week. I'm not trying to be insensitive but she seems to have some serious issues with attention and being recognized for her miscarriage. What a martyr. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 hour ago, Libby96 said:

So this is going to make me sound like a jerk, but I’m genuinely curious.  What does Lauren keep in her Asa box?  It doesn’t seem like she was far enough along to have things like ultrasound pictures and items she had purchased for the baby.

Besides the pregnancy test and the letters, it had the T-shirt she wore when she announced her pregnancy.  

[SorenaJ]

On 11/2/2019 at 3:12 AM, WarriorJane said:

Totally just assigned it.

So there is a 50 % chance they are misgendering Asa. Asa could have had (potential to have) GIRL BITS, and they are calling him a BOY! The horror! 

[Shroomer]

Lauren is not, and may never be an adult. She is a victim of intentional control. So trying to analyze he

[Dandruff]

Something about Lauren reminds me of Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With the Wind".

[Nargus]

On 10/31/2019 at 12:43 PM, Johannah said:

 

It was exhausting having to explain to people that a chemical pregnancy was still a real pregnancy, and a real loss.

I purposely avoid the term ‘chemical pregnancy’ when I bring up my losses because to me they were still quite real. I only ever say ‘early miscarriage’. 

My first was like emotional whiplash. My period was always like clockwork, so when I hadn’t gotten it by the end of the day, I took a test. It was positive. I spent the next two days gleefully thinking up potential names, started an Amazon baby registry and searched Pinterest for cute announcement ideas. Then on the third day I started bleeding. It was 3 days from such an intense emotional high to super low  

The second one I didn’t let myself get excited because ‘what if it happens again’. Then when it did, I felt guilty for not celebrating that pregnancy when I had the chance. 

My third pregnancy stuck and I now have a beautiful daughter. I got my positive for her the day after what would have been my due date for the first. 

[Jody]

23 minutes ago, Nargus said:

I purposely avoid the term ‘chemical pregnancy’ when I bring up my losses because to me they were still quite real. I only ever say ‘early miscarriage’. 

My first was like emotional whiplash. My period was always like clockwork, so when I hadn’t gotten it by the end of the day, I took a test. It was positive. I spent the next two days gleefully thinking up potential names, started an Amazon baby registry and searched Pinterest for cute announcement ideas. Then on the third day I started bleeding. It was 3 days from such an intense emotional high to super low  

The second one I didn’t let myself get excited because ‘what if it happens again’. Then when it did, I felt guilty for not celebrating that pregnancy when I had the chance. 

My third pregnancy stuck and I now have a beautiful daughter. I got my positive for her the day after what would have been my due date for the first. 

I must say, reading how harshly people treat Lauren’s pregnancy and grief on this thread is un-FJ like.

[Timetraveler]

I am not trying to dismiss the pain and grief that she has felt during her miscarriage. 

However, that being said, I do feel like everyone could perhaps use a Megan in their lives every now and then:

 

 

[nelliebelle1197]

On 11/1/2019 at 11:04 PM, Bad Wolf said:

Honest question: in the time of the dinosaurs, when I had my kids, we had to wait till they were born to find out the sex (sorry, gender). How early can you find out now? Was Asa really male, or did they just assign that to him?

Sex is actually the correct  term no matter what fundies say.

[Nargus]

5 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Sex is actually the correct  term no matter what fundies say.

Yup. All you can find out prior to birth is innie or outie. 

[Charliemae]

It will be interesting to see how she matures, or fails to, once she has this baby.  Losing a first pregnancy, even super early is so scary for a person.  Before marriage, she may have thought it would all be easy for her, or she may have had fears about infertility.  I don't think she was in any way prepared for an early loss of a wanted pregnancy.  It's easy in that situation to question if she'd ever be a mother.  I can see that have a profound impact on her.  So, yeah... it will be interesting to see where she goes from here.