Josiah and Lauren 15: The Drama Llama Rolls On

[Four is Enough]

1 hour ago, Timetostoplurking said:

.  I have no doubt that she is grieving, it just the “publicness” that makes me go WTF.  

I know the Duggars have grown up in a fishbowl, but Lauren didn't,and I don't  understand the "publicness" of it either. Just like I don't understand the video birthday greetings to someone who lives in the same house with you...

[Dandruff]

I wonder how Lauren and Kendra get along.  "Keeping sweet" aside, I'm not sure the two personalities are compatible.

[tabitha2]

Lauren is very ,um, ebullient and dramatic are the kindest words I guess while Kendra is cheerful and easygoing and not particularly attention seeking or opinionated that we have seen anyway. I bet Kendra just nods and smiles and tries to keep the peace if they have to spend any time together. They are friendly and civil rather than friends  I think. 

Edited October 15, 2019 by tabitha2

[SassyPants]

Neither KD or LD grew up in mega families, so they may have better learned how to have successful interpersonal relationships, and might have had the opportunity to have outside the family friends. Although I had a good friend In HS from a family with 9 kids and their dynamic and family life was far different from those of smaller families. LD seems like an attention monger and KD presents as a quieter young woman. I don’t think JOY (Jesus, others, yourself) was emphasized in Lauren’s home. She clearly puts herself and her wants before others. She loves the attention. LD seems to really try to act as if she’s older, smarter and more experienced than her 20 , very sheltered years. Like others have said, I don’t think she likes having to compete with the Duggars. She’s use to being the oldest and wisest one.

[jillsdopplerofdoom]

Kendra probably annoys Lauren with her giggling. Lauren seems like a very serious person who loves drama. 

[BadMurphy]

14 minutes ago, jillsdopplerofdoom said:

Kendra probably annoys Lauren with her giggling. Lauren seems like a very serious person who loves drama. 

I wouldn’t want to be Lauren right now with Kendra as a close in age/situation sister in law-she’s always happy, pretty, one of those people who seems to effortlessly be everyone’s friend. And Lauren...is attention seeking and boring. 

[SassyPants]

I think it all boils down to Kendra presenting as a young lady who is very comfortable in her own shoes, while Lauren is busy trying to prove that she is some else.

[tabitha2]

She is only 20 after all. How many of us look back our 20 year old selves and wince about how wise  and grown and had it all figured out we thought were?  Or she may be a foolishness, thoughtless  insensitive  attention seeking Diva by nature. Who knows but let’s give it a few years.

[19tacos&counting]

So Lauren miscarriage with asa was October 4th. If we follow the June 5th due dste(it was stated many times she had the same due date as Jessa) Lauren was 5 weeks 1 day when she lost the baby. Got this info from Duggar Data.

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

The CO episode is described as opening up about Lauren's struggles with grief and depression, and honestly I don't doubt that those were very real experiences for her. Especially since she probably miscarried only about a week after finding out she's pregnant...when the news is still new and exciting, and something she barely had time to process was lost. I think the fundie way of doing things + Lauren's seemingly more emotional and intense personality, makes the way everything surrounding her miscarriage seem ridiculous from the outside looking in. Unfortunately this martyrdom of her miscarriage is her version of openness and empathy, even if it comes off as totally out-of-touch to most people. 

[anjulibai]

I wonder how many days she actually knew she was pregnant. 

[DarkAnts]

1 hour ago, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

The CO episode is described as opening up about Lauren's struggles with grief and depression, and honestly I don't doubt that those were very real experiences for her. Especially since she probably miscarried only about a week after finding out she's pregnant...when the news is still new and exciting, and something she barely had time to process was lost. I think the fundie way of doing things + Lauren's seemingly more emotional and intense personality, makes the way everything surrounding her miscarriage seem ridiculous from the outside looking in. Unfortunately this martyrdom of her miscarriage is her version of openness and empathy, even if it comes off as totally out-of-touch to most people. 

I wonder if she is using this miscarriage to  rationalize real depression. This was a way for her to feel those feelings without guilt. She is sad because she lost a baby. Evey mom is sad when they loose a baby. This is real pain. Not her being sad because she is being selfish, trusting God, or doing J.O.Y.

I could see the Duggar's and family like them saying that depression is not real. Especially with the whole J.O.Y shit. 

Edited October 16, 2019 by DarkAnts

[feministxtian]

I think Lauren has bigger issues than the miscarriage. I think she's dramatic and over the top for attention. Somehow, somewhere she's not getting her needs met so she has to find a way to attract attention. She'd benefit from a good therapist to sort things out...but...that'll never happen. 

[SorenaJ]

Not to undermine Lauren's miscarriage, but at 5 weeks the embryo would have been the size of a sesame seed, so I doubt she would have been able to see the embryo come away, like she said. 

[Jody]

3 hours ago, anjulibai said:

I wonder how many days she actually knew she was pregnant. 

One week one day. Is the length of the pregnancy in anyway significant to you?

[adidas]

Armchair philosophising here, and could be 100% wrong.

I hope this doesn’t come across rudely. I’m not trying to be mean. I’ve debated about posting it for a few days.

IMO Lauren has only ever had two things on her bucket list: being a wife and mother. She has never been allowed to have any dreams or aspirations of her own, and her identity is only linked with other people. She is someone’s wife. She is someone’s mother. She is identified by her surname. That’s all she wants in life and it’s all she is permitted to seek.
Now, lots of us here are also wives and mothers (including me) and there’s nothing wrong with it. It was also something *I* wanted in my future from the time I was a little girl, but it was PART of my future. Not my entire future.

So for Lauren, whose identity is not individual, miscarrying was akin to losing part of herself. We can see that she is empty and bereft - because a major part of her identity was taken away from her. No matter who you are, what you believe, what you’ve achieved in life - when you lose part of your identity ... the things that make you YOU ... you grieve.

So while I do think her posts have been insensitive and are misguided, I’m not discounting her grief. I’m just trying to see it from her point of view, where this is such a big thing because it is what she has always been ushered towards ... with no other prospects of fulfilment outside this very narrow set of expectations put upon her (and which she has happily embraced).
This is all she can use to claim identity. We all yearn to be someone important, and with her lack of personal identity as an individual, this is how she is choosing to search for meaning whether she realises it or not.
But she is very sheltered and has had minimal life experience, so she isn’t able to view it objectively and do it in a way which doesn’t come across as being disrespectful and selfish.

This is all IMO of course.

[jillsdopplerofdoom]

Do they have a public WhatsApp group where they announce when they had sex? How else would they know when a foetus is due? 

I am still in two minds. A part of me says that Lauren is over reacting and got her dates wrong and that it's just a late period, at 19 my menstrual cycles weren't always like clockwork. On the other hand if it is a miscarriage then Lauren does need to go and get some professional help from someone who won't just ramble on about Jesus. Lauren can't live like this for the next 60/70 years, it's not healthy. 

[SorenaJ]

18 minutes ago, jillsdopplerofdoom said:

Do they have a public WhatsApp group where they announce when they had sex? How else would they know when a foetus is due? 

If she has really regular periods, she would know that her foetus would be due 40 weeks from the first day of her last menstrual period. She might have told it to the other Duggars, saying "I had a miscarriage and I would have been due on 5/6 June". 

At 19 my periods were like clockwork (okay +- 1 day). Maybe Lauren was tracking them really precisely to know when to have sex in order to conceive. 

[CarrotCake]

She might not have known the exact due date but she could have known that its 'beginning of June'. I also don't think they ever said that they had the exact same due date, just due around the same time.

[jillsdopplerofdoom]

2 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

She might not have known the exact due date but she could have known that its 'beginning of June'. I also don't think they ever said that they had the exact same due date, just due around the same time.

'Lauren and I shared the exact same due date' Jessa, February 21st via Instagram.

 

Edited October 16, 2019 by jillsdopplerofdoom

[19tacos&counting]

I’m assuming Lauren knew of the pregnancy 7-10 days. Many women who are actively trying can test 3-4 days before their missed period. Assuming Lauren has somewhat regular periods, it’s very easy to figure out your exact due date in 2 seconds. 

[BabyFactoryClosing]

5 weeks.... dang. I'm REALLY trying not to discount anyone's pain and I know miscarriage is such a sensitive subject but at that early the odds that it was a blighted ovum or late period and there never was a fetus or even an embryo are incredibly high and there is zero chance she saw the baby pass. Honestly combined with the sincere belief that Asa was a boy and all the projection that goes along with that, the whole thing makes me really very concerned for her wellbeing. She doesn't seem terribly grounded in reality.

[Jody]

4 minutes ago, BabyFactoryClosing said:

5 weeks.... dang. I'm REALLY trying not to discount anyone's pain and I know miscarriage is such a sensitive subject but at that early the odds that it was a blighted ovum or late period and there never was a fetus or even an embryo are incredibly high and there is zero chance she saw the baby pass. Honestly combined with the sincere belief that Asa was a boy and all the projection that goes along with that, the whole thing makes me really very concerned for her wellbeing. She doesn't seem terribly grounded in reality.

She wasn’t late, she had a positive result on her pregnancy test. 

[justmy2cents]

What she had was a blighted ovum. I had one too. On an ultrasound the most you’d see is a little circle, the yolk sac. Probably too early to even see a fetal pole. I had an early ultrasound because I was doing IVF. Don’t get me wrong, it was plenty devastating to lose the pregnancy at the time but there was no baby to be seen yet.

[HarleyQuinn]

Did she go to the doctor at all for this? Did they confirm a chemical pregnancy? I didn't watch, but looking at those dates on that box it sounds like she just had a late period.