Maxwell 33: Managers of Their Vests

[PennySycamore]

@Black Aliss,  having spent 12 days in one of those "shithole" countries, Tanzania, thank you for your post.  From a Western perspective,  the poverty in so much of the country just stuns you.  I'm not sure that the people there feel poor though.  Even if they lack material things and many modern comforts,  many of the people seem to have a rich life.

[Black Aliss]

On 11/21/2019 at 4:18 PM, Bethy said:

I wrote off a lot of that legalism in probably junior high when I read an article from a man who had heard the "drumbeats from Africa" theory (some missionaries were sent a tape of some Christian rock and were listening to it on the field, and some of the native people came to them very distressed wondering why they were "summoning the evil spirits" because the rock beat supposedly matched their drum rhythm for calling up demons) and gave it some thought, then realized that perfectly innocuous things - like his windshield wipers - made the exact same rhythm.

Oooh, that explains so much, especially here in the part of the US where we use our windshield wipers maybe 300 days out of the year. 

Quote

Years ago, I joined a gym for women called Curves. One of their distinctives at that time was music remixes where everything was at a tempo of 120 beats per minute, designed to keep everyone moving at a good aerobic pace. There was a variety - country, classic rock, even contemporary Christian - all remixed to this same dance beat. I was working out one morning and saw a pastor's wife from a nearby church and thought what a nice gift it would be to give (or "to gift," in Maxspeak) our pastor's wife a membership. I quickly realized that she would find the music too inappropriate to participate and nixed the idea. 

Yeah, I know of a couple megachurches that put in their own workout centers so the Godly Women wouldn't be exposed to Satanic influences. Likewise yoga. They offer classes that have been sanitized to remove the "pagan hindoo" influence. Like, instead of "namaste" at the end of the class they say "praise the Lord".

I wonder what it's like to have a faith that is so fragile and at the same time believing the alternative is eternal damnation.

[mango_fandango]

New post! The Maxwells did a “Family Day”, with ball games, lunch, and an obstacle course. 
This would be cool if the married families all lived in different states, and reunions were genuinely difficult to organise... but they all live within ONE MILE of the mothership. They get together all the damn time. Every bloody day is “Family Day”.

[smittykins]

You mean they actually may have had F*N? 

[LilMissMetaphor]

The most surprising part of that neverending post was the use of the phrase "between your legs", if you ask me.

[Coco]

9 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Oooh, that explains so much, especially here in the part of the US where we use our windshield wipers maybe 300 days out of the year. 

Yeah, I know of a couple megachurches that put in their own workout centers so the Godly Women wouldn't be exposed to Satanic influences. Likewise yoga. They offer classes that have been sanitized to remove the "pagan hindoo" influence. Like, instead of "namaste" at the end of the class they say "praise the Lord".

I wonder what it's like to have a faith that is so fragile and at the same time believing the alternative is eternal damnation.

Maxhell in a Nutshell™ ?

[fundiewatch]

I hope they took notes for next year! How many picnic eggs? Did anyone eat their hot dog as a lettuce wrap?

TBH this post feels like a trolling! Every damn day is family day. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Fall is filled with family oriented events. I love it because there are so many fall activities my kids enjoy. Going to the pumpkin patch, fall festivals, pumpkin carving contests, haunted houses, fairs, corn mazes, apple picking, and of course trick or treating. My guess is that this is yet another one of Steve Maxwell’s ideas of creating something at their home to replace the worldly heathen fall activities around Leavenworth. I think Steve is still trying to keep his family in a bubble but it’s not working. I’m hoping some of the kids got to do other fun fall activities outside of Maxhell. 

Edited November 25, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Fall is filled with family oriented events. I love it because there are so many fall activities my kids enjoy. Going to the pumpkin patch, fall festivals, pumpkin carving contests, haunted houses, fairs, corn mazes, apple picking, and of course trick or treating. My guess is that this is yet another one of Steve Maxwell’s ideas of creating something at their home to replace the worldly heathen fall activities around Leavenworth. I think Steve is still trying to keep his family in a bubble but it’s not working. I’m hoping some of the kids got to do other fun fall activities outside of Maxhell. 

I agree with this. Maybe the kids saw an advertisement of something said they wanted to go, & Steve found out about them wanting to go & this was his solution. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Family Day. Gosh, the originality stuns me. Imagine being Sarah--almost 40 years old and this is the highlight. Well, this and picnic eggs....

[Caroline]

I love how they think they've cornered the market on the concept of teamwork.  The students in the public schools where I teach have this opportunity all the time through field days, ropes courses for the older kids, an awesome climbing wall in our high school, and many other clubs and activities for all kinds of kids (robotics, math team, drama, etc., etc., etc.)    But public schools are evil, blah, blah, blah.   Too bad people like the Maxwells are too short-sighted to see that those heathen public school kids will always have a leg up on what teamwork really is outside of their family bubble.   Such a boring life they all seem to be living.  

 

[AllisonWndrland]

Those f'n picnic eggs...I just can't with it. It has been an irritant for years. Like someone said upthread, if your faith is so fragile it can't withstand calling them Deviled eggs, then there is a larger problem. 

Edited November 25, 2019 by AllisonWndrland
To finish my thought

[MamaJunebug]

Fathership. 

I believe the correct term is fathership. 

And now I’m off to see if “between your legs” really appears in Maxscript! 

[erunerune]

13 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Fathership. 

I believe the correct term is fathership. 

And now I’m off to see if “between your legs” really appears in Maxscript! 

Went to the Maxwell blog for the first time in a while because I’m so there for this.

[Hane]

Because I suck at being a Godly Older Woman, I am bringing my prideful @$$ here to announce that my 41-year-old daughter, who works outside the home full-time the way all the women in our family do (or did before retiring), will be abandoning her 12-year-old *only* child to the tender mercies of his father so she can perform at a night club in NYC the day after Thanksgiving. (I’m cross-posting this in the Transformed Wife section, because I’m That Byatch.) So there, Maxhellions.

[catlady]

1 hour ago, MamaJunebug said:

And now I’m off to see if “between your legs” really appears in Maxscript! 

yep, and so is "you could get off."  (because i'm as mature as a 12yo)

the thing that bothered me about all those captions was the use of second person.  i had an English teacher in my heathen public high school who said we should refrain from writing in second person because the reader may not *want* to directly identify with the text.  her example was snakes; "the snake feels smooth when you touch it." someone with a fear of snakes doesn't want to touch one and would have no reason to connect with the narrative. 

now, Maxhell Family Day isn't unpleasant like a potentially scary animal, but their readers aren't Maxwells and thus were not included.  so when Sarah writes, " You had to balance your way across the pipe," her readers can't connect because they did not have to balance their way across the pipe.  this one time when the Queen of Passive Voice probably should have used it.

[Granwych]

12 hours ago, smittykins said:

You mean they actually may have had F*N? 

come on, the Maxwell idea of fun is totally unlike the real thing.

I wonder just what passes for fun in their lives?

[SassyPants]

But I have to know, did Lolly the Clown make an appearance at Family Day?

[Granwych]

7 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

I hope they took notes for next year! How many picnic eggs? Did anyone eat their hot dog as a lettuce wrap?

TBH this post feels like a trolling! Every damn day is family day. 

Were any of those hot dogs really "spurting sausages?"

I'd rather boil, peel, and make dozens of real deviled eggs than be subjected to a Maxwell " family day. "

An aside here -- adding some softened cream cheese to the mashed yolks makes for great deviled eggs.

11 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

The most surprising part of that neverending post was the use of the phrase "between your legs", if you ask me.

What's between one's legs makes all the difference in Maxhell

[Eternalbluepearl]

Maxwell daughter-in-law upon receiving the invite to "Maxwell Family Day": Another f***ing family day?! What IS it with these a**holes?! ....I mean, we'll bring the picnic eggs! 

[ifosterkittens]

I had to check out the blog post about family day which I would summarize in one sentence: The Maxwells celebrated Family Day with an obstacle course, game of cat and mouse, and a cookout.

They seem to document most of their lives on the blogs, so I am left wondering do Sarah, Anna, Mary or Jesse hang out with people outside of family members? Please tell me they have friends and grab coffee, belong to a book group, knitting group, tennis league, something, anything that interests them. What about a young adults bible study? I am sure the girls love being aunts, but it appears their "social life" begins and ends with their nieces and nephews.

I bet Chelsy Bontrager Maxwell is told the exact type of food (i.e. veggie tray-carrots, celery, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and ranch dressing) she should bring to the cookout, and not told bring a side dish where she can pick the recipe and deviate from the standard Maxwell menu. 

1 hour ago, Granwych said:

An aside here -- adding some softened cream cheese to the mashed yolks makes for great deviled eggs.

Thanks for the suggestion I will try this the next time I make deviled eggs. I do not and will not call them picnic or angel eggs. 

[Wolf in Sheeples’ Clothing]

4 hours ago, Caroline said:

I love how they think they've cornered the market on the concept of teamwork.  The students in the public schools where I teach have this opportunity all the time through field days, ropes courses for the older kids, an awesome climbing wall in our high school, and many other clubs and activities for all kinds of kids (robotics, math team, drama, etc., etc., etc.)    But public schools are evil, blah, blah, blah.   Too bad people like the Maxwells are too short-sighted to see that those heathen public school kids will always have a leg up on what teamwork really is outside of their family bubble.   Such a boring life they all seem to be living.  

 

Exactly! Even in college, there were group projects and group activities. Teamwork is key in a lot of businesses too. 

Also, their obstacle course... Wow, Maxwells, wow. You turned your massive backyard into an obstacle course, for like what, a little over two dozen people? Most of which were very young children?Congratulations. 

How about my elementary PE teacher who would create obstacle courses for every class? Did I mention that the gym, where this all took place, was ridiculously small? Like about the size of a volleyball court? And that sometimes the number of students in said, small gym, could near 100?

Or how teamwork, in general, was stressed as being an important and necessary life skill all the time? 

 

7 minutes ago, HA88 said:

I had to check out the blog post about family day which I would summarize in one sentence: The Maxwells celebrated Family Day with an obstacle course, game of cat and mouse, and a cookout.

They seem to document most of their lives on the blogs, so I am left wondering do Sarah, Anna, Mary or Jesse hang out with people outside of family members? Please tell me they have friends and grab coffee, belong to a book group, knitting group, tennis league, something, anything that interests them. What about a young adults bible study? I am sure the girls love being aunts, but it appears their "social life" begins and ends with their nieces and nephews.

Ah, nope. Someone more familiar with the Maxwells correct me if I’m wrong. There is no book group, because Steve heavily censors what he deems ‘appropriate’ for his grown children to read. No knitting or tennis because they could start to enjoy it too much and it become an “idol.” And no young adult Bible study because the Maxwells all attend the same church. That Steve pastors... in a nursing home. 

[scoutsadie]

14 minutes ago, HA88 said:

They seem to document most of their lives on the blogs, so I am left wondering do Sarah, Anna, Mary or Jesse hang out with people outside of family members? Please tell me they have friends and grab coffee, belong to a book group, knitting group, tennis league, something, anything that interests them. What about a young adults bible study? I am sure the girls love being aunts, but it appears their "social life" begins and ends with their nieces and nephews.

Definitely no tennis league, since sports promote competition and are a distraction from contemplating where you'll go when you die.

The obstacle course doesn't count as "sports" because... it's only Maxwells...?

And now, despite my nightly heartburn, I want some DEVILED eggs, dammit!

[JermajestyDuggar]

26 minutes ago, HA88 said:

I had to check out the blog post about family day which I would summarize in one sentence: The Maxwells celebrated Family Day with an obstacle course, game of cat and mouse, and a cookout.

They seem to document most of their lives on the blogs, so I am left wondering do Sarah, Anna, Mary or Jesse hang out with people outside of family members? Please tell me they have friends and grab coffee, belong to a book group, knitting group, tennis league, something, anything that interests them. What about a young adults bible study? I am sure the girls love being aunts, but it appears their "social life" begins and ends with their nieces and nephews.

I bet Chelsy Bontrager Maxwell is told the exact type of food (i.e. veggie tray-carrots, celery, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and ranch dressing) she should bring to the cookout, and not told bring a side dish where she can pick the recipe and deviate from the standard Maxwell menu. 

Thanks for the suggestion I will try this the next time I make deviled eggs. I do not and will not call them picnic or angel eggs. 

I’m sure this is how it goes:

Teri: Chelsy, will you bring the veggie tray with carrots, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, and celery for family day? 

Chelsy: of course!

*Chelsy brings exactly carrots, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, celery and ranch dip*

*The Maxwell’s gather around the food table*

Anna: why Chelsy brought dip to go with the veggies! 

Mary: That’s genius Chelsy! How did you ever think of such a thing!?

Teri: You are always mixing things up around here aren’t you, Chelsy. *says with a clenched jaw and big smile* 

Steve: *mumbles* I can’t have dip. It’s too fatty. No one else should either. *he mopes while walking away from the table*

 

[Black Aliss]

1 hour ago, scoutsadie said:

And now, despite my nightly heartburn, I want some DEVILED eggs, dammit!

You, too, huh? I'm sitting here wondering whether I really do feel like cooking and peeling eggs at 9:20 pm or if this feeling will pass.

For the record, I like my deviled eggs to be very devilish so I mix the yolks with dijon mustard and sriracha, nothing else.