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Kristine and Michael Barnett - adoptive parents


Cheetah

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Not sure whether this goes in Wild World of Snark or under the general adoption thread ... these people aren't Fundies.  

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/09/17/police-say-she-abandoned-her-adopted-daughter-she-says-girl-was-actually-scamming-adult-sociopath/?fbclid=IwAR3HzZtOKPrbg9WdhEFUx4YiifTCq72gKb9LCD8p5MVgHwiga6HK1BttlZI#comments-wrapper

Very weird case.  Seems like they adopted her from a disruption .. I wonder if the original adopters were Fundies. 

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Definitely weird. I'll read the eventual book, because surely there will be one, though it will likely be filled with inaccuracies and fabrications. 

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I saw this in a Yahoo news email and it makes the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case seem run of the mill. There are only two options in this case: 1: Natalie was a sociopathic, grifting  dwarf as the Bennett’s claim 2. Natalie was an innocent child who was abused and abandoned by sociopathic “parents” who appear to be divorced from reality. The fact that the “parents” can’t cite any documentation for Natalie’s real age (dental or medical records in particular) makes me think it’s scenario two. The only person who might be able to help would be the son, Jacob, and even then he might just back up scenario one because he trusts his parents’ version of events.

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I saw this story too. Interesting that the parents gave different stories to police. I wonder if the truth will ever come out...

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Yep very interesting that there is so little detail about the first adoption. Also interesting; I read in an article the mum said she must be older due to her behaviours which ignores the impact of serious trauma on children. And bone scans are far from giving you an exact age! 

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22 minutes ago, byzant said:

And bone scans are far from giving you an exact age

Really? Border authorities in my country are using bone scans to decide if undocumented young immigrants are minor or not. If bone scan says they are over 18, they can be deported. 

About the story of this post, I thought it was fake! If she was adopted, she should have official documents with her birth date, medical information etc. Were these documents false? 

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That's awful_ certainly as far as I'm aware (haven't read on it for a while) they can give you  a general lifestage but not an age. 

 

I do  wonder what makes someone whose 17 yr 11 months and 29 days worthy of protection  and someone 18 yr 0 months 1  day a self sufficient adult who shouldnt get any support

 

Yea I agree while record keeping  in orphanages in  the ex communist block countries could previously be poor they should have something. Either way she must be a poor traumatised person . 

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3 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Really? Border authorities in my country are using bone scans to decide if undocumented young immigrants are minor or not. If bone scan says they are over 18, they can be deported. 

About the story of this post, I thought it was fake! If she was adopted, she should have official documents with her birth date, medical information etc. Were these documents false? 

This is what I’m thinking. Conditions are poor in Eastern European orphanages but I can’t believe that the institution in Ukraine could mistake an 18 ish year old woman, dwarfism or not, for a six year old, especially if she was presenting secondary sexual characteristics as Kristine is claiming. And how is legally changing someone’s age even possible? The fact that Natalia’s current whereabouts are unknown is even more damning, especially since she talked to the police back in 2014 or so but the investigation only started two weeks ago.

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Sometimes birthdates given in international adoptions are incorrect. I can see them using this as an excuse. If she is currently 17, then what would a bone scan actually say for a person with her type of dwarfism? Would it even be correct? I have a feeling it will be tough to prove whatever age she is. 

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Here is what I think we (as the public) know so far. Natalia was originally adopted by another American family from the Ukraine. Two years after they adopted her, they for undisclosed reasons disrupted the adoption. At this time the first adoptive family's name isn't available. The Barnett family adopted Natalia in Florida, in what they called an emergency adoption, they had 24 hours to decide if they would proceed. The Barnetts had Natalia's age changed, moved to Canada, and moved on with their lives without maintaining contact with Natalia. Natalia spoke to the police in Sept 2014, and in 2019 her parents have been charged with felony neglect. 

What we don't know: so many things. First we don't know how Natalia has been providing for herself. One article referenced a neighbor watching out for her, but we don't know what that entails. Where she is living, does she receive medical care, what is her quality of life? 

Were the Barnetts planning to adopt, found an agency, did a home study, and were waiting for a match/placement, and then got the call about Natalia? I am wondering what type of preparation they did prior to the adoption. Let's say the Barnetts get a call about Natalia, she was adopted from the Ukraine by another family, but they are no longer going to parent her, do you want her file/meet her?  Two articles I've read said the Barnetts were foster parents. Mrs. Barnett said out of compassion she didn't ask the first family why they were relinquishing their parental rights. I would think you would ask why parents were terminating their parental rights. If the Barnetts were foster parents perhaps they felt more prepared for the situation, but you would still think they would inquire so they had all the facts, and could make an informed decision. 

This is a crazy story from every perspective. No matter Natalia's age, she has clearly had a tough life, not one, but two families abandoning her in the US, plus who knows the circumstances that lead to her being adopted in the Ukraine, so she also lost her biological family. I hope Natalia has a support system, and all her needs are being met. 

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4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Sometimes birthdates given in international adoptions are incorrect.

I knew of one international adoption where the oldest child of 3 or 4 was deliberately given a younger age, either in his native country, or in the US. He and his siblings had been living on the streets, and he had taken care of them all. The reasoning was that he would have the most difficulty in the US, and in school, so they did their best estimate of his age, then made his official birthdate a year later, so he officially became a year younger than he really was.

So, when he went to kindergarten, he was maybe 6 or 7 years old. He was still learning English, and catching up on so many things he missed while he was parenting his little siblings, so kindergarten was the right place for him to start. The last I heard, he had some difficulties in school, but graduated high school, and got a decent job. His parents went in to that 3 or 4 child adoption with their eyes wide open, though, and they were definitely in it for the long haul. I believe they got their kids any therapies or extra help they needed, and never considered anything like "rehoming", when things got difficult. 

Not really anything like this case, but the age/birthdate thing reminded me of him.

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From what I understood, at least two judges agreed that she was over 18, the one who changed her age, and the one who presided over the guardianship hearing, where another couple tried to get custody but the parents showed up and said “she’s over 18”. 

There's an interview with the mom and if only like 10% of what she said is true I still think this is very fishy. There’s a lot of stuff that is weird, starting with the first set of adoptive parents. 

I’m also curious as to where this girl is now. It seems unclear if even the police know. 

Its going to be interesting to see how this all unfolds.

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Bone tests are very iffy. Things like precocious puberty will show bone age older than chronological age. In fact, a letter from a doctor who worked on this case also notes that they type of dwarfism involved also complicates using those tests. It looks like they are primarily basing it on statements made by the woman in question. 

Spoiler

barnett-michael-document.jpg

From https://fox59.com/2019/09/24/indiana-couple-accused-of-abandoning-daughter-says-she-was-actually-an-adult-who-tried-to-kill-them/

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Not sure how the doctor can say that the age on her initial paper work is “clearly inaccurate” and go on to state that traditional methods of approximating age don’t work.

Edited by HarryPotterFan
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35 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Not sure how the doctor can say that the age on her initial paper work is “clearly inaccurate” and go on to state that traditional methods of approximating age don’t work.

I mean,  knowing the answer you have is wrong doesn't tell you the right anwer. From what I've read, the family's story goes something like "While under this doctor's care, her provided birth certificate placed her at around age 8. Her behavior, understanding, and the fact that she was well into puberty, if not past it, suggested she was junior high or high school age, but where in that 6-7 year span she fell could not be determined. Once she was hospitalized, she admitted not only being older, but being an adult, not a teenager."

I've heard stories of questionable ages with international adoption. Lack of records, lack of education, malnutrition, can all combine to result in age being a best guess. And there have been cases of adults pretending to be children. I just don't know of any that have combined the two issues. I also find it suspicious that when the court changed her age, she had no layer representing her rights, which, if she is a child of ~16 today, per the original birth certificate, is awful.

Edited by Terrie
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So I was looking at more recent pictures of Natalia and she does actually look older in her face compared to when the Barnett’s had her. The pictures were from the family that supposedly took her in after the Barnett’s. Their names are Cynthia and Antwon Mans. Of course it makes sense that she would over time, but I think she looks much more adult in her face compared to when she was with the Barnetts. She would have a harder time faking her age now, I think. 

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On 9/25/2019 at 3:27 PM, byzant said:

Yep very interesting that there is so little detail about the first adoption. Also interesting; I read in an article the mum said she must be older due to her behaviours which ignores the impact of serious trauma on children. And bone scans are far from giving you an exact age! 

Exactly--I've met children that appear to be much more mature than their age due to their backgrounds. I honestly don't know what the situation here is, one way or the other, but if she had to fend for herself as a very young child, she may act older than her actual age.

@HA88 asked about where she was living. Again, we're getting a lot of secondhand information, but I read that the Barnett's paid for an apartment for her to live in for a year before they moved to Canada. 

It'll be interesting to see what becomes of all this. 

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Xray tech here although not a specialist in bone scans. X-rays show the epiphyseal plates in the bones where growth occurs. When those plates are not yet fused we can say that the person still has some growing to do. Xray scans cannot determine an exact age because people can and do grow at different rates. Someone might reach their full height at 16 and another person at 22. And yes, conditions such as dwarfism would seriously complicate things. 

Byzant. They really should not be using bone scans to determine if someone  is over 18 or not. It's not that accurate and wouldn't hold up in court.

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Just throwing out there that I looked like an adult at 12 because of my height and slightly earlier puberty.

Whatever age this person is, she deserves compassion after everything she must have been through.

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Another thought: given that this was an "emergency" adoption, there's a good chance that the Barnett's had no idea what they were getting into when they adopted a child(?) with a history of a neglect and possibly abuse. It's possible that she was an adult when she was adopted, but it's also possible that the Barnett's weren't prepared or trained in any way to deal with a adoptee with an extensive trauma history and perhaps an attachment disorder or any of a wide array of mental and physical health issues that may come with someone with Natalia's background. In the absence of knowledge about these conditions and responses, it's entirely possible that they interpreted her behavior as devious and nefarious when, in fact, it was a symptom of trauma. In my experience, for the most part, potential adopted parents who go through either the foster care system or a reputable adoption agency go through at least some small form of training on these matters, whereas in a "re-homing" situation, they would not. Adoption is a beautiful gift, but people need to be prepared for and aware of the fact that sometimes adoption can be very difficult for the child involved, particularly if it accompanies a change in culture and/or language.

Just another reason these "re-homing" situations are an awful, awful idea for everyone involved. 

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Reading the comments reminds me of kind of a funny/sad story that happened at my kids'  high school last year.  I help out with fitting tuxes and gowns for the choir kids... my kids are in the more advanced choir.  Our beginning choir gets a lot of EL (English Learner) kids as it's a good arts elective for language learning, and our suburb/ metro area has a lot of Hispanic immigrants (and others as well but this population especially is prevalent in our school's EL classes). Anyway, there were a couple of really tiny boys in beginning choir last year.  Most of the 9th grade kids wear at least a men's small already or a 28 waist in pants but we had to order some new tux pieces for these kids in boy's medium... like boys size 8 or 10.  One of these kids in particular was pretty immature in his behavior as well according to the choir teacher and the class aide who does interpretation in a few classes.  They suspected that he was younger than he claimed but his paperwork said he was 14 and I guess he kept up in class well enough.  Anyway, after he'd been in school for about 5 months one day he broke down and admitted that he'd used his cousin's paperwork ... I can't remember if that was to get into the US or to get enrolled in the district.. and that he was actually 11!  I was kind of impressed that he'd held it together in 9th grade, in a foreign country where he spoke very little of the language, for that long.  

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5 hours ago, unsafetydancer said:

@Cheetah that's so sad! I hope the poor little boy got some help and some counselling after all that. 

I don't know the outcome of it... he's not in the high school this year.  Hope he's appropriately placed back in about 6th grade. 

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I don’t know anything about adoptions, international or otherwise, but shouldn’t there be more paperwork and documentation about this situation? Even if we assume that the papers from Ukraine are not particularly helpful shouldn’t there be documents about her previous adoptive family? Shouldn’t there be social workers and the like that should’ve been checking up in Natalia? If Natalia was legally adopted by the Barnetts, wasn’t she still a dependent of theirs, even if she was an adult? The type of dwarfism Natalia is said to have can cause a number of disabilities, so it seems that if she was/is an adult, they could still be guilty of abandoning a vulnerable person. Just so many questions that will probably never be answered.

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