Lori Alexander 71: She of Appalling Ignorance

[wallysmommy]

Love the pic of the very expensive kitchen on her don't compare yourself to others blog today.  We go from bragging about a family crammed into a sardine can on Twitter to a huge, HGTV-worthy kitchen on the blog.  Again, her elitist, privileged attitude is rampant.

[hollyfeller]

I actually appreciate the "don't compare yourself to others" message, but Lori compares herself to other CONSTANTLY.  In her opinion she is better than literally everyone else on the planet.  No one else measures up to her "godliness" and that is what fuels her.  Especially when Ken compares her to Jesus.  Yuck.

[Petronella]

7 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Maybe Ken referencing a Mediterranean cruise is something he wanted to do, and Lori refused. Thus his post that 'she could have been on a cruise' is a true statement.  Maybe he's getting a dig in -- an inside dig her family gets but no one else does.

Gosh, I would love if this were true. I don’t think it is—I think Ken was just being his usual assy, judgmental, black/white self—but it would amuse me no end were it so.

[Botkinetti]

Lori used to post about meeting up with old friends, with pictures of them sitting around restaurant tables. This was when she used to harp on being with the husband of your youth. 

I have some friends that go back to grade and high school and I am so used to their quirks I barely notice them any more. However, if any of them were to become a hateful , vile spouter of misogynistic, racist crap I would drop these people from my life. I wonder if her old friends have distanced themselves from her and her public declarations and so her world is much smaller than it used to be.

[SongRed7]

Marital rape Part 2.  Just so we all know (according to Lori) the guy has to be drunk or on drugs for it to be rape.  so much wrong with that post.  And in a backhanded way she's shaming women (again) into staying with their abusers with her illogical digression of what happens next....you call the police, he loses his job, you end up poor and single, he remarries while you are a washed up nobody and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!

I can't even with her. I have to go look at some cat pictures or something. 

Yep, she's trying to go viral again. 

Edited October 8, 2019 by SongRed7

[Sonic the Whoredgehog]

Ugh. I knew it would make me stabby, but I read it anyway. What absolute fucking bullshit. The last paragraph is just lie after heresy after lie. 

Spoiler

Our culture is a culture of death. They want the death of this marriage so they accuse this man of marital rape. All this would lead to is the destruction of their marriage. God wants us to promote a culture of life. Life for the unborn and life for marriages.

"Our" culture? Lady, isn't your whole thing not participating in "our" culture? And where is the "culture of death" idea coming from? I know she means abortion, but the only valid thing I can think of is our bloated military, but my guess is lorken are in full support of that. The marriage is destroyed whether or not the man is accused, because he has violated his wife's body and trust and no amount of telling her otherwise will take away those feelings from her. 

"God wants us to promote a culture of life", oh like when he wiped out the entire population of the world, sent the Israelites to destroy city after city, and built an entire religion around death and sacrifice? Seems to me like he prefers that the unworthy and impure (like a marriage that involves violation) be destroyed. Oh, and great job sticking your little "pro-life" agenda where it doesn't belong. Did you learn that from what Ken does with his little dick? 

Spoiler

Wives, don’t deprive your husbands sexually. God is very clear about not doing this.

No, he's not. Once again: anyone who uses the phrase "God is clear" or "scripture is clear" is most likely lying, stupid, or both. First of all, PAUL said that. Not God. Second of all, he was addressing a very specific situation in which spouses were abstaining from sex because they believed it was holier, in accordance with gnostic and ascetic teachings. Paul is writing to correct this issue. Third, this is one of the only times where Paul directly references decision-making or authority in marriage, and would ya look at that, he states it is to be a MUTUAL decision. He also says "do not deprive one another", indicating that the abstinence was mutual in the first place.

Spoiler

Most husbands married because they want to have sex on a regular basis. One reason for marrying is that it is better to marry than to burn.

Really? Because most married men I know, including my own husband, married because they found someone they love, and with whom they want to be for the rest of their lives. Yknow, someone they actually like? Once again, Lori is using her soapbox to tell us all how shitty her marriage is. I wonder if this whole thing is like other situations where she's digging her heels in about an issue because she endured it and wants to feel godly, rather than like a victim. 

I still wouldn't have any sympathy for her. I don't even feel bad about it. With most fundies, I can empathize with their struggles and feel compassion when they've been hurt or abused. Not with Lori. I can keep myself from taking joy in her suffering, but I can't make myself feel any sympathy for her whatsoever. 

Oh, and one more thing: 

Spoiler

I am sure there are many wives who would admit that their husbands have woken them up in the middle of the night trying to have sex with them. It’s not that big of a deal!

What the fuck is wrong with this bitch? First of all, the use of the word "admit" very strongly implies that she knows there's something wrong with it but won't "admit" that. And yes, there are many wives who would say that. That doesn't make it normal or right. It doesn't sound like marrying helps anyone avoid "burning" if it's normal that a man can't sleep because of his dick, and thinks he deserves access to his wife's body when she is incapacitated. And lastly, she's saying "it's not that big a deal" to women who feel violated and unsafe in their own goddamn beds. Fuck you with a rusty axe, Lori. 

Yikes. Time for another Lori-sabbatical for me. She makes me talk too much. 

[louisa05]

I came to rant, but, well, yeah, it's been covered. 

What @Sonic the Whoredgehog said. 

Also, Lori is a horrible human being. 

[Koala]

She's despicable, and so pathetically desperate to go viral.  Gross- that's the word for her.  Just gross.

 

[Lgirlrocks]

1 hour ago, Sonic the Whoredgehog said:

Ugh. I knew it would make me stabby, but I read it anyway. What absolute fucking bullshit. The last paragraph is just lie after heresy after lie. 

  Hide contents

Our culture is a culture of death. They want the death of this marriage so they accuse this man of marital rape. All this would lead to is the destruction of their marriage. God wants us to promote a culture of life. Life for the unborn and life for marriages.

"Our" culture? Lady, isn't your whole thing not participating in "our" culture? And where is the "culture of death" idea coming from? I know she means abortion, but the only valid thing I can think of is our bloated military, but my guess is lorken are in full support of that. The marriage is destroyed whether or not the man is accused, because he has violated his wife's body and trust and no amount of telling her otherwise will take away those feelings from her. 

"God wants us to promote a culture of life", oh like when he wiped out the entire population of the world, sent the Israelites to destroy city after city, and built an entire religion around death and sacrifice? Seems to me like he prefers that the unworthy and impure (like a marriage that involves violation) be destroyed. Oh, and great job sticking your little "pro-life" agenda where it doesn't belong. Did you learn that from what Ken does with his little dick? 

  Hide contents

Wives, don’t deprive your husbands sexually. God is very clear about not doing this.

No, he's not. Once again: anyone who uses the phrase "God is clear" or "scripture is clear" is most likely lying, stupid, or both. First of all, PAUL said that. Not God. Second of all, he was addressing a very specific situation in which spouses were abstaining from sex because they believed it was holier, in accordance with gnostic and ascetic teachings. Paul is writing to correct this issue. Third, this is one of the only times where Paul directly references decision-making or authority in marriage, and would ya look at that, he states it is to be a MUTUAL decision. He also says "do not deprive one another", indicating that the abstinence was mutual in the first place.

  Hide contents

Most husbands married because they want to have sex on a regular basis. One reason for marrying is that it is better to marry than to burn.

Really? Because most married men I know, including my own husband, married because they found someone they love, and with whom they want to be for the rest of their lives. Yknow, someone they actually like? Once again, Lori is using her soapbox to tell us all how shitty her marriage is. I wonder if this whole thing is like other situations where she's digging her heels in about an issue because she endured it and wants to feel godly, rather than like a victim. 

I still wouldn't have any sympathy for her. I don't even feel bad about it. With most fundies, I can empathize with their struggles and feel compassion when they've been hurt or abused. Not with Lori. I can keep myself from taking joy in her suffering, but I can't make myself feel any sympathy for her whatsoever. 

Oh, and one more thing: 

  Hide contents

I am sure there are many wives who would admit that their husbands have woken them up in the middle of the night trying to have sex with them. It’s not that big of a deal!

What the fuck is wrong with this bitch? First of all, the use of the word "admit" very strongly implies that she knows there's something wrong with it but won't "admit" that. And yes, there are many wives who would say that. That doesn't make it normal or right. It doesn't sound like marrying helps anyone avoid "burning" if it's normal that a man can't sleep because of his dick, and thinks he deserves access to his wife's body when she is incapacitated. And lastly, she's saying "it's not that big a deal" to women who feel violated and unsafe in their own goddamn beds. Fuck you with a rusty axe, Lori. 

Yikes. Time for another Lori-sabbatical for me. She makes me talk too much. 

I have been woken up a few times for sex. If I’m too tired I say no. I roll over and go back to sleep. Same would go if I wanted sex and he didn’t. No hard feelings. There was one time we started having sex and he was so tired he fell asleep. Instead of continuing I stopped. I have an extremely high sex drive so I always want it more then him. Guess what? I don’t force it if he isn’t in the mood. I don’t get mad or upset when I don’t get the sex I want and desire. He doesn’t get mad or upset with me either. We are both adults here.

it doesn’t matter why a person chooses to withhold sex. Having sex with someone who doesn’t want it is rape! Period. Having sex with someone who is asleep is rape. Guilting someone into having sex is rape. 

[Sarah92]

She’s back on the attention bandwagon. 

I’ve been in counseling settings where women have discussed being sexually abused by their husbands. It starts off with horrible things like what Lori writes about and gets bigger and crueler. That’s what abusers do. They escalate their behavior because they haven’t been caught and even if they are caught you have assholes who just dismiss it as “biblical”. 

No it’s traumatizing. That’s all it is. And any man that does that to a women should be in jail. Any man that gets off with forcing a sleeping, non-consenting individual into sexual situations is a rapist.  

[Lgirlrocks]

Lori it doesn’t matter why she said no. By saying no, no matter the reason, she wasn’t consenting so she was raped. Lori would be supper pissed if ken woke her up that way. She would claim rape and everything else. Marriage doesn’t equal consent. 
someone in the comments asked why marry a person if you don’t want to have sex with them all of the time. I’ll tell you why. You marry for love and companionship. Not everyone has sexual desires. Also sex won’t always be there. There will be times when sex doesn’t happen for long periods of time. It Happened to me. It sucked but without having  an actual relationship, friendship and connection on other levels, we may not have lasted. I’m grateful that I have more than a sexual relationship with my bf. 

[Sonic the Whoredgehog]

49 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I have been woken up a few times for sex. If I’m too tired I say no. I roll over and go back to sleep. Same would go if I wanted sex and he didn’t. No hard feelings. There was one time we started having sex and he was so tired he fell asleep. Instead of continuing I stopped. I have an extremely high sex drive so I always want it more then him. Guess what? I don’t force it if he isn’t in the mood. I don’t get mad or upset when I don’t get the sex I want and desire. He doesn’t get mad or upset with me either. We are both adults here.

You said this better than I did, thank you. In hindsight, my rantiness got ahead of me. What I took issue with wasn't waking someone up for sex, but as happened with the woman Lori was discussing, waking someone up with sex. Some people are fine with (or into) that and have arrangements that involve implicit consent given ahead of time which can be revoked at any time for any reason, but that's clearly not the situation in the anecdote and most people I know well enough to discuss this with are really uncomfortable with the idea. 

I really hope the woman in question isn't following Lori any more. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a "mentor" and dozens of her minions rebuking you for feeling violated and beating down anyone who dares validate your feelings. 

[fransalley]

On 10/5/2019 at 11:05 PM, Giraffe said:

I’ve had a long day and I read  “pre-kids” and wondered if that was a type of pre-middle-school course along the lines of a pre-kindergarten. ?‍♀️?  I need sleep. 

I am glad to hear I'm not the only one.  I was thinking, "Pre-kids?  What in the world does that mean?" 

?  I need a good "Ooops" emoji here. 

[kmachete14]

It will just hurt your head to even try to fathom this "Christian" logic that Lori spews regarding sex. 

It just exposes that her followers are pigs who view marriage as a short cut to getting one-sided sexual relief and a sex slave to do their bidding.

It exposes how many women think sex isn't mutual and probably have never had a healthy sexual relationship with anyone.

It exposes how they all twist scripture to their sick agenda.

I just can't imagine the cognitive dissonance that allows mothers and fathers in the fundie cult to look at their sweet 18 year old daughters and think to themselves, yes it is 100% right for my little girl to have endure painful, unwanted, unaroused sex with a man who cannot even care to ask if she is comfortable. 

This is the reason I think the Bateses make sure the courting boyfriends absolutely adore their daughters and treat them like princesses-- unlike other families, they really think about how they want their daughters to be treated in private. 

Like one poster said, and Lori rebuked her, sex is meant to be pleasurable, bonding, and for creation. The sex Lori describes is not bonding (no oxytocin, no intimacy, sometimes no consciousness), it is not pleasurable (only for the man), and perhaps results in procreation. 

How they can say "don't deny eachother" means you are allowed to force yourself into someone disturbs me to no end. This is when I have to take a month long Lori break. 

 

[wallysmommy]

Today on Twitter she is canonizing her mother for being a SAHM.  Did she not harshly criticize her parents in previous blogs and posts?  Did she not refuse to cut short her Door County vacation to see her mother one last time before she passed away?  Isn't this the same woman who disdains college that her parents paid for?  

[HereComesTreble]

I may have missed this in my lurking days—please forgive if it’s already been asked:

What church does Lori go to?  I ask because we live in the same area/I grew up here/I’m a non-denominational Christian; and I can’t think of any local churches that would satisfy Lori’s stance on women in ministry (none).

[Lgirlrocks]

I just checked and her Facebook post on marital rape is gone! It is unfortunately still on her blog. Her blog post has 41 comments. The consensus is the wife sinned because she denied her husband and the husband wasn’t at fault because they are married and saying I do means consent forever. Yuck! 
 

[hollyfeller]

6 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I just checked and her Facebook post on marital rape is gone! It is unfortunately still on her blog. Her blog post has 41 comments. The consensus is the wife sinned because she denied her husband and the husband wasn’t at fault because they are married and saying I do means consent forever. Yuck! 
 

I came here to say the same thing.  I have a feeling it was deleted by FB.  It is a truly disgusting post.

[Loveday]

54 minutes ago, hollyfeller said:

I came here to say the same thing.  I have a feeling it was deleted by FB.  It is a truly disgusting post.

Apparently it was. Someone on the Things Godly Women Say's page said they'd reported it, and FB sent them a message thanking them and saying they'd removed the post. 

[louisa05]

13 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Apparently it was. Someone on the Things Godly Women Say's page said they'd reported it, and FB sent them a message thanking them and saying they'd removed the post. 

And Lori will cry persecution in 5,4, 3, 2....

[Frog99]

I’ve had an especially busy day today, so I didn’t really have much opportunity to look at her post or many of the comments. I’m glad someone reported it and that FB took it down. I wish they would shut Lori down entirely, quite honestly. And I pray that many of the comments I saw (in the 300’s) were dissenters and that no one was irreparably harmed. 

I know that family relationships are hard, but quite honestly, I have no respect for anyone that associates with Lori and @Ken  It’s one thing to not see the cognitive slip or to be powerless in getting her to seek treatment, but her vile posts like this one are a very obvious and tangible demonstration of how awful she is. She would absolutely not have access to my children  

I don’t think she’s as clueless as she pretends to be. I think she is cold, calculating, and manipulative and I believe that she intentionally puts things out there that will not only cause dissension but harm as well. I used to think it was some form of Stockholm syndrome but I don’t believe that any more. 

[Loveday]

11 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

And Lori will cry persecution in 5,4, 3, 2....

Yep. Because we know she'd never have removed that post on her own. All this is going to do is make her double down. 

The post is still up on her blog, though. And Trey chimed in with one of the most despicable things he's ever written (under a spoiler because it could be triggering):

Spoiler

"Ladies, sex within marriage is a debt that you OWE your husband. He should NEVER have to collect (what is due) from you by force. If he has to do that (without actually doing physical harm to you), it is to YOUR shame, not his. ... Wives, stop being deceived by the lies of Satan (feminism) and joyfully and generously give your husband what is owed to him, it will make your marriage much, much better. If you don’t, it is YOU that are in sin and your husband is perfectly justified before God if he divorces you because of it."

He's disgusting.

[Sarah92]

I would be joyful if such an asshole of a husband divorced me. I’d go dancing and singing. Any man who thinks it’s owed to him is not marriageable. What warned him such a fucking debt? And the whole it will make it much, much better thing sounds like a malicious threat from a crazy person. 

[hollyfeller]

Do we think Lori is in FB jail again?  I guess we'll find out if she doesn't post for a while.  We know it wouldn't be the first time.  How many strikes before her page is taken down completely?

[fluffy]

7 hours ago, HereComesTreble said:

What church does Lori go to?

I don't know where they now go, but they have gone to Calvary Chapel.