Sierra 3: Paddle Faster I Hear Banjos

[Pretzel]

7 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Hey Duggars- I notice several of you commenting about sending prayers to Sierra and her family during this difficult time. Here’s a little advice. Prayers are great, but actually doing something to help is even better. How about volunteering to take a couple of the kids off grandma’s hands for a couple of hours, stopping by to collect and do some laundry or do a grocery store run. You all of have been generously blessed by the masses, and it’s time to pass on the gifts of your time, talent and treasure.

Not to forget that numerous times they've all been blessed by Sierra and her willingness to contribute to whatever the Duggars needed at the time. Time for them to reciprocate instead of just "sending prayers". 

[FluffySnowball]

8 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Hey Duggars- I notice several of you commenting about sending prayers to Sierra and her family during this difficult time. Here’s a little advice. Prayers are great, but actually doing something to help is even better. How about volunteering to take a couple of the kids off grandma’s hands for a couple of hours, stopping by to collect and do some laundry or do a grocery store run. You all of have been generously blessed by the masses, and it’s time to pass on the gifts of your time, talent and treasure.

YES! Yes! Yes! All this talk about prayers but no actions... (It’s similar with people like Ted Cruz who tweet prayers when shootings happen in the US. The time for sitting back and chitchatting with God are over, go get to work!) I’m a firm believer in the saying “prayers speak louder than words” and with the Duggars’ willingness to share so many of their “good deeds” and info about their volunteer work with the public, it’s telling they only send prayers now. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I don't know why I'm so surprised that none of them have stepped up to help out. I honestly thought they would step in and offer up their assistance.  Jessa, I can understand she's got her hands full with the boys and baby Ivy right now, Jana is traveling but Jill is at home posting stupid Insta stories.  She has time to take a couple of boys off Gmas hands and bring them to her place and let them all play. Michelle could go over with Johanna an Jenni and help clean up do laundry cook some meals to put in the freezer for later. not sure how close Joy and Sierra are still, but she could also go over and help, or hell go to LR to sit with Sierra and take her some clean clothes, some travel toiletries and some snacks, She could find someone to watch Gideon for the day.    

[singsingsing]

Of course I wouldn’t put it past them to offer prayers and nothing else, but how could we actually know whether the Duggars are helping her out at all or not? 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Of course I wouldn’t put it past them to offer prayers and nothing else, but how could we actually know whether the Duggars are helping her out at all or not? 

I imagine that they would tell the world they were helping and if they weren't Sierra would tell us that a Godly Duggar has graced to help her lowly soul out. 

[singsingsing]

10 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I imagine that they would tell the world they were helping and if they weren't Sierra would tell us that a Godly Duggar has graced to help her lowly soul out. 

Maybe, maybe not. I just don’t think we can assume that. Probably 98% of what they do never gets posted on their social media. 

[Coconut Flan]

29 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I don't know why I'm so surprised that none of them have stepped up to help out. I honestly thought they would step in and offer up their assistance.  Jessa, I can understand she's got her hands full with the boys and baby Ivy right now, Jana is traveling but Jill is at home posting stupid Insta stories.  She has time to take a couple of boys off Gmas hands and bring them to her place and let them all play. Michelle could go over with Johanna an Jenni and help clean up do laundry cook some meals to put in the freezer for later. not sure how close Joy and Sierra are still, but she could also go over and help, or hell go to LR to sit with Sierra and take her some clean clothes, some travel toiletries and some snacks, She could find someone to watch Gideon for the day. 

Are the TV cameras nearby?  Then I'm guessing we'll get some footage next year of their "help."  If no cameras, they forgot as soon as they said they'd pray. 

[FluffySnowball]

3 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

I’m a firm believer in the saying “prayers speak louder than words”

Quoting myself here. I of course meant “actions speak louder than words”, I’d contradict what I wrote in this post otherwise. Sorry, apparently I wasn’t focused. 

[Jigsaw3]

Ridiculous Duggars. When my friend came down with the flu last year (like proper SEVERE influenza), I ran errands for her and cleaned her house and eventually dragged her to the emergency room. She doesn't have kids, but I did scoop the litter box and play with the cat. When another friend had a dying grandparent, I stayed at her place for a few nights with her kids so she could go visit. None of that is terribly heroic: it's what you do.

If the Duggars don't help out Sierra, they're making a mockery of their Christian faith and exposing their hypocrisy.

[mollysmom]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Of course I wouldn’t put it past them to offer prayers and nothing else, but how could we actually know whether the Duggars are helping her out at all or not? 

Because they would be certain to take pictures and plaster them all over the internet just to make sure everyone knows how holy they are!! ?

[singsingsing]

26 minutes ago, mollysmom said:

Because they would be certain to take pictures and plaster them all over the internet just to make sure everyone knows how holy they are!! ?

But again, we don't know this. It just seems weird to me to jump on the runaway speculation/rage train about something that we don't even know is/isn't happening. ?‍♀️

[mollysmom]

13 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

But again, we don't know this. It just seems weird to me to jump on the runaway speculation/rage train about something that we don't even know is/isn't happening. ?‍♀️

Oh yeah, you are absolutely right! I'm just being snarky.

[Sky with diamonds]

I honestly  wish a Duggar or two would help out.  Having someone ill shows the true colors of people as I found out the hard way last year and this year when my father was ill. I know it's not easy to see someone so unwell, but sometimes more than prayers are needed. 

[clueliss]

Just because they didn’t post in an Instagram comment that they weren’t helping doesn’t mean they didn’t privately ask how they could help.  

[SassyPants]

Are people really saying that NEITHER the Duggars NOR Sierra would have made a post indicative of Duggar help provided?  Please give me whatever you are smoking or ingesting. None of these folks have ever done anything that would support giving them the benefit of doubt, IMO. 

[scoutsadie]

I hope a lot of folks in their circle have stepped up to help.

@Daisy0322 and @mollysmom (and others wrestling with mental health), sending you so much love. I struggle with anxiety and am glad that you are working with and getting support from professionals. I'm fortunate to have a good support network, too, but I know some days can be HARD.

[YourFriendlyLocalHeathen]

When my father-in-law had a multiple heart attacks earlier this year, my husband and I bent over backwards to help him and my mother-in-law for the first few weeks, until they could do more themselves (they aren't old, but my MIL is disabled due to some illnesses, and she wasn't medically cleared to drive at that time). It was exhausting. We ran my MIL to the store multiple times on a moment's notice, even after my husband worked all day, and even spent hours at the store helping her figure out this whole new world for this new diet and lifestyle change my FIL was going to have to make (and unfortunately my in laws are the type that won't stick to something if it's too hard, so that has lead to very small changes in FIL's diet and pretty much ignoring the rest of the doctors instructions, other than taking pills). On top of that, I spent time trying to comfort my MIL and remind her to take care of herself as well, which on its own is tiring because she's very immature and likes being a victim, and this was a perfect opportunity to shine but we did it. My sister-in-law, their oldest daughter, on the other hand? She wouldn't come get her mom and sister when her mom called saying she needed a ride to the hospital because her dad had a heart attack (this happened while he was at work, and they only had one car at the time, plus the whole she shouldn't of been driving thing). Why? "we stayed up late and need to sleep". Like, ok. Your dad almost died and may still yet. So my MIL asked if I could get ahold of my husband at work to take her (he didnt know yet what was going on, so once I found out I called) He came and got all of us (we live on the same road) and we spent the day at the hospital. SIL didn't show up until evening time. When FIL had his surgery, she showed up later in the day again. She didn't call or text to ask how he was doing when he got home, nothing. The needed their yard mowed and youngest daughter (in her 20's as well, doesn't work or go to school. But she is her mom's favorite and that is whole 'nother story for later lol) didn't want to do it  and when my husband was asked-after a few weeks of helping non stop already-they offered to pay him. He said he'd rather not, why not offer the money to SIL and her boyfriend, since they don't work. SIL wouldn't have them come to do it unless they offered more money, like 4 dollars more. FIL was feeling bad they didn't have that extra on them in cash, and because they didn't have that extra SIL wouldn't come out. When my husband found out he was livid and went and mowed for them and told them to keep their money. Worst part about that situation, its a very small yard, like two lines with a mower on one side of the house, 4 lines on the other side, with a big deck taking up most of the front yard. So, a small yard, and what was being offered for payment was way too much for how small of a yard it was, even with it being a little long. I said she probably needed that exact amount for something she wanted or had to pay for (they live with the boyfriends family), which is why they made a big deal about the extra 4 dollars.  My SIL didn't do ANYTHING to help or show she cared. The most she did was go to a get together with her friends, and when one of the girls who we know, who was also there, talked to us later, we found out SIL was having the time of her life, and when she heard this mutual girl say she was going to visit FIL either that night or the next, THAT is when my SIL started talking about how hard this whole thing has been for HER, and she was so worried about him. After that she and her boyfriend visited for a few minutes, and she skipped away happily with the beer and alcohol FIL could no longer have. Sad thing, can't even say shes like this cuz of the guy shes with. He's actually her better half. Shes just a selfish and entitled person, and at the time her bf's phone was broke, so all communications were strictly though her. Amazing, and sad, how different people are (especially within the same family). I'm sorry this is so long, but reading this thread made me think back to this time from earlier this year! 

Edited November 12, 2019 by YourFriendlyLocalHeathen
Realized I forgot to add the size of the yard-in case anyone needed anymore of a reason this was ridiculous lol

[FluffySnowball]

I’m sorry your husband and you had to go through such a hard time, @YourFriendlyLocalHeathen and I hope your FIL is on the mend. Dealing with family members and in-laws can be very upsetting unfortunately and if I may say so, the way your SIL behaved is absolutely inexcusable. At least you and your husband stepped up and were there for your parents-in-law. While they might not have verbally expressed it at the time, I’m sure your help and support made them feel loved and cared for. 

Regarding Sierra, little Merrick seems to be on the mend. He’s still in the hospital cause he needs to be gradually weaned of additional oxygen. I gotta admit though that when I saw Sierra’s recent Instagram post in which she’s holding him to her chest, having her eyes closed and looking like she’s crying, my heart skipped a beat and for a second I was worried he might have gotten sicker. Luckily, the contrary is true. Sick children are an incredibly sad topic!! 

[Screamapillar]

1 minute ago, FluffySnowball said:

I gotta admit though that when I saw Sierra’s recent Instagram post in which she’s holding him to her chest, having her eyes closed and looking like she’s crying, my heart skipped a beat and for a second I was worried he might have gotten sicker. Luckily, the contrary is true. Sick children are an incredibly sad topic!! 

Same. Her post began with something like "This is the moment when the wires were removed and I kissed his head" and I had that exact reaction.

Way to bury the lead, Sierra.

[Xan]

9 hours ago, YourFriendlyLocalHeathen said:

Amazing, and sad, how different people are (especially within the same family.

So sorry you had to go through this but, as FluffySnowball said, I'm sure your FIL and MIL felt loved and cared for.

I'm of the opinion that most families have a person like your SIL.  I know I've got a couple in my family.  They won't shoulder any burdens or help at all in times of crisis but they're certainly standing there with their hands out if they think they can get help, food, and/or money from anyone else.  It's maddening.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

12 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Are people really saying that NEITHER the Duggars NOR Sierra would have made a post indicative of Duggar help provided?  Please give me whatever you are smoking or ingesting. None of these folks have ever done anything that would support giving them the benefit of doubt, IMO. 

IKR! I was like hell naw are they doing something "nice" without getting oddles of press for it. 

[freshlemonade]

It looks like from IG, that Sierra's mom stepped up to help out.  Sierra actually thanked her which was nice.  I wonder what the relationship is like between Sierra and her mom.  I feel like the Mom probably has a lot of just bite your tongue and/or I told you so moments.  

[YourFriendlyLocalHeathen]

@FluffySnowball and @Xan thank you so much. Honestly, my husband's parents and sisters are all like what I described about my one SIL, but all to varying degrees, and at varying times. There's honestly so much I could say, but I won't. They are family and we do love them. My FIL is doing well, though I fear for how long since he doesn't follow all of the doctors instructions. BUT, he is doing well now, and having to work on getting his strength up now. He had 3 or 4 total attacks within the first day (that's counting the first attack) and then about a week or two later had another because something from his procedure didn't heal properly. Luckily they managed to fix it without having to re do the whole procedure again. So, it's taken him awhile for healing. My parent-in-laws did tell us how much they appreciate everything we did for them, and did thank us multiple times for everything, so that was nice to hear. There's times they STILL thank us, and they're doing it again for all the chore catch up I did for them (they didn't ask) when I helped take care of their animals when they went on a little vacation over the summer. And actually, I think us stepping us for them when it was needed helped the relationship between us all a little bit. I think they realize we WILL be there for them when its serious or when we can be. If we say no to something it's usually really because we can't, not because we won't (unless it's a non serious or unnecessary thing and we can tell they're just taking advantage and seeing how much they can get, because that HAS been an issue before) And that use to be a problem, they use to believe we just weren't helping them out (the relationship then, and even now, was really rocky), but again, I think the heart attack situation helped us grow a little closer at least. And as for family members not helping but expecting money and other things you need, hey, you hit the nail on the head with my SIL  

 

As for things on the Sierra front, I really feared the worst when reading her Instagram. I hope he heals quickly. This had to be scary situation all the way around.

[clueliss]

Last night or this morning's really log caption involved her guilting (my interpretation) over not being there for her daughter's birthday.  Yes, Choose Joy was involved.  

[FluffySnowball]

I’m not sure if it’s been said somewhere else, but as I haven’t seen it on another thread, I’ll put it here. Kristen Nicole Young is in Sierra and Jessa’s peer group and is currently expecting her third child with her husband. Said husband said a while ago that he was successfully treated for his addiction to alcohol. (Once again, that’s a couple not believing in their right to divorce apparently... Underneath their smiles seems to be so much sadness!) 

Well, that’s the context. The reason I mention the Youngs now is that yesterday, Kristen’s husband got admitted to hospital cause he almost bled to death in the early hours of the morning: tests have shown a ruptured stomach ulcer. He’s not even 30 years old yet (if I’m not very much mistaken, he’s 26 or 27) and I’m wondering whether his previous alcohol abuse might have anything to do with it. But I’m not a doctor so maybe he was just unlucky and couldn’t have done anything to prevent it. Loosing 2 liters of blood (as per his wife) is really scary though!