Sierra 3: Paddle Faster I Hear Banjos

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, Kelsey said:

Holy shit. 6 panic attacks in one day? After one I feel completely depleted of energy and like all my senses are blurred.

next thread title:  Sierra 4: Almost as many panic attacks as kids.

I think I'm going to officially declare that Sierra has reached laundry-room-breakdown level.

And random gifts mailed by leghumpers aren't really going to help her thru her panic attacks. Unless she finds time to resale some of the gifts to earn a few $$

[singsingsing]

If she’s actually having six panic attacks in one day she needs professional help NOW. That is no joke. But something makes me think she may be exaggerating. Lots of people claim they’re ‘having a panic attack’ when they actually mean they’re just really stressed or colloquially ‘freaking out’. 

[Coconut Flan]

Sierra needs a lesson from my daughter.  If you're having a lot of stress and anxiety, identify the source and if at all possible remove or reduce it.  A friend asked my daughter this weekend what daughter thought of friend going on Klonopin.  My daughter said she told her a better solution might be dropping some of her kids' after school activities and cutting her work hours or finding a different job rather than taking a medication like that.  Daughter is a family law practitioner who went from killer hours and trials to half time work at home and is loving it.  The side benefit was all the stress related health issues vanished.

[Lgirlrocks]

34 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Sierra needs a lesson from my daughter.  If you're having a lot of stress and anxiety, identify the source and if at all possible remove or reduce it.  A friend asked my daughter this weekend what daughter thought of friend going on Klonopin.  My daughter said she told her a better solution might be dropping some of her kids' after school activities and cutting her work hours or finding a different job rather than taking a medication like that.  Daughter is a family law practitioner who went from killer hours and trials to half time work at home and is loving it.  The side benefit was all the stress related health issues vanished.

I agree that what is causing stress needs to be identified, if possible, and removed, if possible. Medication can help. I take Lexapro. I have suffered from stress, anxiety, and depression for years. Was being worked way to much at my last job, forced OT. It was 10 12 hour over night shifts in a row. I was being yelled at for stuff I had zero control over. I went to see a doctor and was put on medication. It doesn’t solve all of my problems but it does help. My panic attacks aren’t nearly as bad or as frequent. 

[mollysmom]

6 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I agree that what is causing stress needs to be identified, if possible, and removed, if possible. Medication can help. I take Lexapro. I have suffered from stress, anxiety, and depression for years. Was being worked way to much at my last job, forced OT. It was 10 12 hour over night shifts in a row. I was being yelled at for stuff I had zero control over. I went to see a doctor and was put on medication. It doesn’t solve all of my problems but it does help. My panic attacks aren’t nearly as bad or as frequent. 

Off topic but I just started on Lexapro 2 days ago. I'm always nervous trying something new but hoping it helps me. 

[clueliss]

Another Lexapro user.  I've been on it for a long time.  I didn't realize until I was prescripted Celexa (the first med I was on.  Lexapro is a daughter/sister drug) that I hadn't felt calm or normal since I was 13 or 14 (I was in my mid to late thirties at the time).  But the med alone isn't the answer, yes, you the patient do need to own managing your life stressors.  Sometimes those can be managed.  Other times - like when you are handed managing your mom's decline into dementia alone when your only sibling crawls into a hole and refuses to respond and this adventure lasts 4-5 years - you have to endure and make the best of it.  

In Sierra's case, she seems to bring a lot of this on herself.  And I think she overblows the hysteria and such for the sake of her social media.  Meaning - I think she exaggerates some of this to get attention on Facebook and Instagram. 

And FYI - I live alone.  Crap ends up under the bed all the time.  You know what I have (because I do not have a man in  my life to move the stinking bed for me)???  I have a stick.  Brooms, yardsticks, curtain rods - they all work rather well.  You grab the stick, you poke it under the bed, and you sweep all the crap under the bed (or sofa) out from underneath.  And imagine that, clean under there without getting yourself stuck in the bed frame.  

[HereticHick]

Celexa user here. Wish I had gone on it a decade before I did. 

There are things that Sierra can do to reduce her stress, but they may not be enough.

She can't get rid of her kids.  She can't increase Mark's income. She doesn't have time to earn extra income. They probably don't have the $$ to pay for a cleaning service, or a laundry service, or a mother's helper.

But they could, in all seriousness, ask friends to take care of the dog for a while (and if we are lucky, train it). She could send her 2-3 oldest children to public school. Given the size of their family, they might even have low enough income qualify for Headstart (free government preschool for 3-4 year olds).

And of course Mark could get a vasectomy, which would remove any possible anxiety of having  & supporting future kids.

I guarantee that Sierra would function better if she had some hours during the day with only 3-4 kids to manage, instead of 7.

But could she cope with the resulting guilt (partly self-inflicted, partly from her "tribe") of not being a holy fundy homeschool amazing mama??

 

 

Edited November 7, 2019 by HereticHick

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

18 hours ago, singsingsing said:

If she’s actually having six panic attacks in one day she needs professional help NOW. That is no joke. But something makes me think she may be exaggerating. Lots of people claim they’re ‘having a panic attack’ when they actually mean they’re just really stressed or colloquially ‘freaking out’. 

I'm wondering if she isn't calling moments of panic or being overwhelmed panic attacks. I've had panic attacks, many of them, 2 that had me hospitalized for psych evals,  and they last a good long while, I don't know that it is possible to have 6 in 2 or 3 hours. Unless she considers after every lull in the PA a new attack. Sierra does have a flair for the dramatic so I'm guessing she is exaggerating her exhausting morning and moments of panic with an actual panic attack. 

I was on Lexapro for several years, and it didn't really do much for my anxiety, it helped my depression, so I switched to Celexa for a few months, and it didn't do much either, so I weaned myself off it and was med free for about 5 months, I went to a psychiatrist and we worked out that my untreated ADHD is what is causing my anxiety.  I'm now on Strattera and have been for about a month, and it is honestly helped me more than the antidepressants/anxiety meds has. I feel much more calm and focused, which is a weird feeling for me, but I'm really liking it.    

I agree with @singsingsing if she did indeed have 6 actual panic attacks in one day, she needs psychiatric help NOW, and honestly probably shouldn't be alone with her children, as someone that mentally fragile can be dangerous. 

[singsingsing]

@allthegoodnamesrgone I’ve always heard that panic attacks peak within a few minutes (15-20 tops?) - that has also been my experience. There was a time I was having back-to-back panic attacks but I did consider them to be individual attacks rather than one long attack with lulls. I don’t think it matters, though - if you’re having six panic attacks in one day or one long panic attack with several lulls, you need help. The only time I’ve ever experienced that has been when I was in the midst of a total nervous breakdown and basically not functioning at all. I also wound up in the ER and eventually had to be prescribed a benzo to break the cycle. It was exhausting, terrifying, and enormously life-altering. If she’s being flippant with the term, she sucks.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

@singsingsing My panic attacks always last a good 45 minute to an hour, until I can get myself fulling back in control. But I'm assuming like with everything everyone is different.  

And yeah, if she's being flippant she sucks big time. 

[HideousGreenShirt]

Wow. Y'all are rockstars for handling your anxiety/depression and sharing how you've done so on here. What an amazing, strong bunch we have on FJ!

Sierra's posts continue to concern me. It's glaringly obvious that she has simple solutions to reduce her stress (kids in school, contraception, asking for help, not buying a puppy etc) but is she willfully choosing to continue in this way because it's "good testimony" or is it something else? She does not remotely seem to be the happy, strong godly mom that she's desperately trying to portray. 

I'm beginning to suspect that Mark is much worse than we originally assumed. A lot of us have said before that through her posts he seems at best barely interested in the kids and at worst straight up ignores them. Now, after reading her increasingly frantic posts, I'm wondering if it's actually him pulling the strings. Insisting that they can handle more kids, that she homeschools, that they can afford new scooters and dogs and fun outings. 

What is it going to take for them to make changes? 

Edited November 7, 2019 by HideousGreenShirt
Additional thought

[twoandthrough]

16 hours ago, mollysmom said:

Off topic but I just started on Lexapro 2 days ago. I'm always nervous trying something new but hoping it helps me. 

I started Lexapro in May, and it has been a life changer! I was never depressed,  but my anxiety had gotten out of hand... panic attacks when my husband was away (he's military and gone frequently - not usually for very long - but sometimes with short notice) and with two toddlers at home, I couldn't afford to not try. After a year of just talk-therapy (also helpful! but unfortunately not enough for me), I finally decided to give Lexapro a try and am SOOOOO glad I did. I felt like crap for the first month, though - just FYI! I was sluggish / tired ALL the time... but I tried to sneak in short naps whenever I could, and after 3-4 weeks, I felt like a new person! 

[Melinda]

On 11/6/2019 at 11:14 PM, HereticHick said:

I think I'm going to officially declare that Sierra has reached laundry-room-breakdown level.

I agree, totally.

How many chlidren did Michelle have when she had her laundry-room-breakdown?

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, Melinda said:

I agree, totally.

How many chlidren did Michelle have when she had her laundry-room-breakdown?

I think maybe 5 kids. I could be wrong though. 

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, Melinda said:

I agree, totally.

How many chlidren did Michelle have when she had her laundry-room-breakdown?

7

[kmachete14]

Maybe she will go the way of Erica Shupe. She was WAY more organized but still cracked. Now the kids are in school. 

The thing I think that really stops her is that she is close to the Duggars and must think that if Michelle did it, she can do it.

Edited November 8, 2019 by kmachete14

[Denim Jumper]

Honestly, I wonder if sending her older children to school would be much of a help. Sure, she'd have a little less on her plate for 6 hours each day, but I think the workload that comes with elementary school children would push her right over the edge. The getting everyone up, dressed, fed, and out the door on time; the class parties and events at school; the daily cyclone of papers sent home with each kid; the homework; the theme days. Keeping them home and parking them in front of a cyber school would be ironically easier, because she also probable relies on the older kids to help with the littles.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

2 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Maybe she will go the way of Erica Shupe. She was WAY more organized but still cracked. Now the kids are in school. 

The thing I think that really stops her is that she is close to the Duggars and must think that if Michelle did it, she can do it.

Michelle had the help of Grandma Mary and I don't think Jim Bob worked a 9 to 5 job so he was home much more than Mark is. She's got no one to help her and I don't think she has the sense to ask for help, it would make her look bad.  If she did ask, I can guarantee you, Jill would be over there in a heartbeat. Jill is a people pleaser, I think she would pack up the boys and go over and just get to work I think Jessa would as well, but she's got an infant and it is much harder to jump into things like this with an infant vs preschoolers. I would say Joy would help too, but I don't know how close she is to Sierra anymore, she's never in the group of girls gathering, its only Jill and Jessa.

[lizzybee]

I think this needs thrown out here because it’s a detail that was missed in reporting her panic attacks. According to her, she actually got stuck beneath the bed and that was the main causation for the panic. She has a picture her kid documented of her at an odd angle where she had to work herself back out of there. This doesn’t make the rest of your points irrelevant but this is a relevant detail. She says she freaked because she got stuck and thought for a bit she was going to have to call someone to get her out. 

[FunFunFundie]

29 minutes ago, lizzybee said:

I think this needs thrown out here because it’s a detail that was missed in reporting her panic attacks. According to her, she actually got stuck beneath the bed and that was the main causation for the panic. She has a picture her kid documented of her at an odd angle where she had to work herself back out of there. This doesn’t make the rest of your points irrelevant but this is a relevant detail. She says she freaked because she got stuck and thought for a bit she was going to have to call someone to get her out. 

I was confused by this detail. In the midst of panic, did she ask a child to get her phone and take a picture? I can't imagine a full-on panic resulting in a "take a picture of me now!" command. That seems like a "this is ridiculous, I'm ridiculous, this is hilarious, I'm hilarious, honey, go get my phone" thing.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Her oldest is what 9/10? She may have asked him to get her phone, so she could call for help and he took her picture. At that age they know when something is photo worthy and mom getting herself stuck under the bed would be totally funny to him. I would guess most kids this age would find it amusing, while others might find it of great concern, my kids would have laughed at me at that age. 

[FunFunFundie]

My kids would laugh - if it was apparent that I was feeling ridiculous. If I were in the midst of a real-live panic attack, they wouldn't have laughed.

[Daisy0322]

On 11/7/2019 at 4:50 AM, mollysmom said:

Off topic but I just started on Lexapro 2 days ago. I'm always nervous trying something new but hoping it helps me. 

If lexapro would appreciate it I would write those magical pills a love letter. I had an extremely hard time finding a med that would me, I struggled finding one for years because after a few types didn't work doctors basically seemed to give up. After my son was born and I had post partum depression I knew I needed to get my life long battle with depression under control and it was actually my OB of all people who helped me figure out a plan and medication. 

It took a kind of strict schedule at first of excerise 3 times a week, a regular schedule, early bed time and set wake times, scheduled me time and regular social things in combination with meds and therapy. 

My brain really needed to heal with some extra sleep and having somewhat predictable days helped me not be overwhelmed with decisions on what to do and things didn't pile up, the excerise was just what I was up to even if it was just a short walk but it really did help me have more energy, and The me time and regular plans with friends I ended up enjoying and looking forward to even if at first I didn't want to go. 

Im still in pretty intense therapy but I don't have to follow a schedule anymore i can manage on my own now that I feel better mostly and I evaluate how I'm managing my days with my therapist every so often.  Without my lexapro though nothing I do helps. I think ofvthe lexapro as a pull I take so that I can take care of myself. 

This is the best I've been ever though! My first suicidal thoughts were actually while I was still in preschool and my whole life I just had moments where I could be really functional but I could never hold on to it until now. All my issues stem from childhood trauma and my adult life is actually pretty great so my main goal is to heal the past and enjoy right now. I'm not sure I'll ever be totally out of therapy but I could see myself one Day just doing every month or two for maintenance. 

I sincerely hope the lexapro helps you! Sorry I went on a bit of a rant I was just hoping sharing my story would help you have a little hope about the lexapro and if the lexapro doesn't work don't give up body chemistry is complicated but its amazing when you find the right type and dose.  Just remember you can do this and you are absolutely worth figuring out what works for you and fighting for it!

Edited November 8, 2019 by Daisy0322

[Sky with diamonds]

I hope she is exaggerating...if not, that's very concerning.

[mollysmom]

17 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

If lexapro would appreciate it I would write those magical pills a love letter. I had an extremely hard time finding a med that would me, I struggled finding one for years because after a few types didn't work doctors basically seemed to give up. After my son was born and I had post partum depression I knew I needed to get my life long battle with depression under control and it was actually my OB of all people who helped me figure out a plan and medication. 

It took a kind of strict schedule at first of excerise 3 times a week, a regular schedule, early bed time and set wake times, scheduled me time and regular social things in combination with meds and therapy. 

My brain really needed to heal with some extra sleep and having somewhat predictable days helped me not be overwhelmed with decisions on what to do and things didn't pile up, the excerise was just what I was up to even if it was just a short walk but it really did help me have more energy, and The me time and regular plans with friends I ended up enjoying and looking forward to even if at first I didn't want to go. 

Im still in pretty intense therapy but I don't have to follow a schedule anymore i can manage on my own now that I feel better mostly and I evaluate how I'm managing my days with my therapist every so often.  Without my lexapro though nothing I do helps. I think ofvthe lexapro as a pull I take so that I can take care of myself. 

This is the best I've been ever though! My first suicidal thoughts were actually while I was still in preschool and my whole life I just had moments where I could be really functional but I could never hold on to it until now. All my issues stem from childhood trauma and my adult life is actually pretty great so my main goal is to heal the past and enjoy right now. I'm not sure I'll ever be totally out of therapy but I could see myself one Day just doing every month or two for maintenance. 

I sincerely hope the lexapro helps you! Sorry I went on a bit of a rant I was just hoping sharing my story would help you have a little hope about the lexapro and if the lexapro doesn't work don't give up body chemistry is complicated but its amazing when you find the right type and dose.  Just remember you can do this and you are absolutely worth figuring out what works for you and fighting for it!

Thank you so so much. That's really encouraging. Yesterday & today have been really bad (emotionally/mentally) not even my xanax is helping but I've heard it takes a good 4-6 weeks to feel the full effect (affect?) of the medicine so I'm really hoping it helps. It's so frustrating feeling like this. I don't even like myself right now so I can't even imagine how those around me must feel about me.