Sierra 3: Paddle Faster I Hear Banjos

[Beermeet]

5 hours ago, JMO said:

Has anyone been watching her IG stories? I can't make it through them.  

I saw the Chick-fil-A one and the Stay Humble one. The latter is a million times more sane.  The newer one is more just boring and useless.  She's a bad storyteller.  It's a quick funny story,  not a long drawn out story told flatly with nothing to grab onto.  Why is she doing these videos? Is she trying to get a influencer deal?  Why bother. Her life is busy. Just live it. 

[Lgirlrocks]

Anyone watch all of Sierras’ insta story. It was too long for me to watch it. I caught part of it towards the end where she talks about if a friend is going through a miscarriage don’t tell them sorry for their loss because it places blame on the momma. I have never heard that before. 
when my dad died people said they were sorry for my loss. When people hear my dad is deceased they will say sorry for your loss. It wasn’t my fault he passed so I am not taking blame. Is it the same with a miscarriage? I honestly don’t know so I am asking. 

[apandaaries]

32 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Anyone watch all of Sierras’ insta story. It was too long for me to watch it. I caught part of it towards the end where she talks about if a friend is going through a miscarriage don’t tell them sorry for their loss because it places blame on the momma. I have never heard that before. 
when my dad died people said they were sorry for my loss. When people hear my dad is deceased they will say sorry for your loss. It wasn’t my fault he passed so I am not taking blame. Is it the same with a miscarriage? I honestly don’t know so I am asking. 

I’ve never heard that point of view expressed before. I also lost my father at a far too early age, but I decided then that “I’m sorry for your loss” is the best response. No one wants or needs others to tell them their loved one is in a heaven they don’t believe in, or that their loved one is in a better place, or any other bullshit. Showing empathy and expressing sadness was the best way for me to hear condolences, and the way I still deal with others’ grief.

Has Sierra had a miscarriage? On what basis does she discuss this wisdom of hers?

ETA: I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a parent always sucks, but losing three early sucks even more. 

Edited October 11, 2019 by apandaaries

[Alice in Fundieland]

Sierra said she, “hasn’t walked that testimony” when talking about miscarriage. She also referred to it as walking a trench. This was like most of her other Insta stories. She blathered on for 20-30 short video clips, used fundie keywords like testimony and encouragement, and genuinely seems to think people want to hear what she has to say.

She said she’s received lots of messages asking if she has a PO Box yet so she went to the post office and set it up. She now has the information listed on her Instagram bio. Is that so people can send her baby gifts or is there something I’m missing?

[HideousGreenShirt]

I watched. 

-Loss and miscarriage warning-

She went for brunch with a friend who recently miscarried. She has never "personally walked through that testimony" but knows women who have.

One of whom miscarried while Sierra was heavily pregnant so she dropped off a dominos gift card and text her that she didn't want her to cook and was praying for them.

Brunch friend just wanted to hold her baby which she thought was "an incredible gift to help the journey of healing".

She says telling people "typical loss things like I'm sorry for your loss/sorry that you miscarried" almost puts blame on the mama and makes them feel as if they could have done something more.

She is here to "renounce those lies in Jesus mighty name" and she wants to let anyone who has miscarried know that hard things happen sometimes and it's just hard. It's not your fault, you're not alone. Everyone needs to ask god how they can reach out.

Then she went to the post office to get her grift PO box and got rained on.

This is an incredibly sensitive  subject and I really don't want to upset anybody. I'm sure her heart is in the right place, but it just comes across as all about Sierra.

*I* have this gift

*I* don't want you to cook

*I* let her share her testimony

Talking through her experience was really good for *ME* 

 

Edited October 11, 2019 by HideousGreenShirt
Riffles

[LacyMay]

I think the restaurant gift card was actually a great idea and surprisingly practical for a fundy. Not having to cook and a gift card for somewhere with more frequent hours (ie open later) is genuinely helpful. 

I can see how "I'm sorry that *you* miscarried" could sound like the responsibility is on the mother (I'm sorry that you did this) but it also sounds like a really awkward sentence that I don't imagine is frequently used. I can't find anything at all wrong with "I'm sorry for your loss" but would be interested in hearing more perspectives incase I'm missing something.

[Beermeet]

2 hours ago, LacyMay said:

I think the restaurant gift card was actually a great idea and surprisingly practical for a fundy. Not having to cook and a gift card for somewhere with more frequent hours (ie open later) is genuinely helpful. 

I can see how "I'm sorry that *you* miscarried" could sound like the responsibility is on the mother (I'm sorry that you did this) but it also sounds like a really awkward sentence that I don't imagine is frequently used. I can't find anything at all wrong with "I'm sorry for your loss" but would be interested in hearing more perspectives incase I'm missing something.

I heard "I'm sorry you miscarried " as much as if not more than "I'm sorry this happened/for your loss".  I didn't feel weird about it, personally.  It IS the mother going through it, it was happening to me, no one else felt that life inside me.  I felt pretty solitary despite loved ones supporting me.  Also, my baby, husband and technically baby's brother but he was 9 months old when I miscarried at 3 months were on my mind.  Still, the sibling he'd never know. I never felt like those words equaled fault on my part.  However, in Sierra's circle, it just may so, I'm not sure how she meant that implication or why.  In these fundie circles, shame on the women seems very prevalent.  I can't tell if she's being a compassionate rebel fundie or weird basic fundie here. 

Edited October 11, 2019 by Beermeet

[HideousGreenShirt]

Her latest post shows that the brainwashing has begun. Who tells their CHILD that they're going to be an amazing husband and father? Who looks at their 5 year old daughter and gets excited about them being a mother in the future? 

I do appreciate this exchange in the comments on her post. How can she say she's "not there" whilst posting about her children becoming parents? 

[JesSky03]

Yeah her answer doesn't make any sense. Yes her children are still small, but how are you not thinking about those things? Especially if you are already putting the role of husband/wife and father/mother onto them? It gives a sense that she would wholly disagree with them if they choose to go a "non-traditional" route and she's not quite sure yet how she will handle it. I feel bad for those kids. 

[Kelsey]

I think if she said "I'd love my children and accept their choices" she'd be forced to think about why she could/would accept it for her children but not anyone else. Alternatively, saying you'd disown your children is a great way to out yourself as a total POS. 

[kmachete14]

I thought it was actually a good thing she said those things to her sons. Getting boys interested in caring for a baby, having them babysit their siblings, giving them part of the responsibility of raising their siblings . . . that's a good thing in my eyes. 

Teaching your sons to have tender moments with their siblings, and babies, and that taking care of them isn't just for women is important. It seems like her husband is pretty hands-on and she wants to encourage her sons to be the same way. Too many families put all the babysitting and mother helping onus on the daughters and never the sons. 

I guess perhaps the better way to do it would be to say, "You are such a good brother! You are so careful and kind to your baby brother!" and then when the child is older perhaps asking them if they would want to be a dad one day. 

 

 

[HideousGreenShirt]

She deleted all of those comments so I guess her answer is pretty clear.

Time will tell. Especially if she continues to have kid after kid and a few of them have enough and break away. It seems like they are fairly close with Sierra's family who do not appear fundie.

Did we know she was septic with her 2 previous deliveries? Is this common? 

I'm also really confused by her recent post where people apparently ask her "how married are you?"

Is this something you married people encounter constantly and have to clarify for people? Or is this Sierra trying to be cute? 

[Sonic the Whoredgehog]

12 minutes ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

I'm also really confused by her recent post where people apparently ask her "how married are you?"

Is this something you married people encounter constantly and have to clarify for people? Or is this Sierra trying to be cute? 

I've only ever heard this in jokes/comedy bits about hitting on married people. I am fairly certain that did not happen to her and she's just trying to be cute. 

[OldFadedStar]

3 minutes ago, Sonic the Whoredgehog said:

I've only ever heard this in jokes/comedy bits about hitting on married people. I am fairly certain that did not happen to her and she's just trying to be cute. 

Once at a bar in a foreign country right outside a navy base, my friend and I got asked if we were single. We said no, we were married. Then the guy proceeds to as us how faithful are you. 
 

Um... bye. 
 

though my husband, I, and baby almost matched yesterday for church. I changed my shirt because it would have been ridiculous lol. So I guess I’m “that married” too

[Sullie06]

We've only used "How married are you" in a joking manner. For example, one of my male friends has a thing for one of my female friends. He asked if she's single and I told him she's married and he said jokingly "How married is she? Do we like him?". I don't think Sierra gets that use of it though lol. 

[FunFunFundie]

Sierra *could* have said "my kids won't do that, that's like asking somebody what they will do if their kids become serial killers," a la Zsuzsanna Anderson. I don't think it's terrible to say "I haven't come up against that yet so I don't know." Her faith probably tells her to disown, but at least she's saying she'd be open to how it feels in the moment.

[Kailash]

I agree with @FunFunFundie. I liked Sierra’s answer.

The person who said she didn’t have kids yet but knew what she would do in that situation made me roll my eyes. She *thinks* she knows exactly what she would do but it’s easy to be a perfect parent when you don’t have kids. 

*I am completely disgusted in my own life right now at someone who criticized basically EVERY THING I’ve ever done in my child’s life while having no children of her own, and living almost 2000 miles away. Give me a break. Some people need to get over themselves.

[viii]

I was actually really impressed with her answer. Yes, it's not the answer that everyone wants her to have, aka "I love my kids no matter what and support them regardless of who they love", but it's the most open and honest a fundie can be right now when faced with that kind of stuff.

Her answer could have been better, yes, but it could have been a lot worse, too. 

[nvmbr02]

On 10/15/2019 at 2:55 PM, OldFadedStar said:

though my husband, I, and baby almost matched yesterday for church. I changed my shirt because it would have been ridiculous lol. So I guess I’m “that married” too

My husband and I accidentally match on a fairly regular basis. Probably because 90% of our tops are similar colors. If we notice it one of us changes.

I am neutral on Sierra's answer. I do think that is about the best answer we can expect from a fundie drenched in koolaid. 

[OldFadedStar]

On 10/18/2019 at 3:02 PM, nvmbr02 said:

My husband and I accidentally match on a fairly regular basis. Probably because 90% of our tops are similar colors. If we notice it one of us changes.

I am neutral on Sierra's answer. I do think that is about the best answer we can expect from a fundie drenched in koolaid. 

I end up buying most of my husbands clothes so it would make sense that we have similar colors. We both seem to look best in the same colors despite drastically different hair and eye colors. Burgundy, any shade of blue, grey, black and white seem to be what we wear most. 

[nvmbr02]

3 hours ago, OldFadedStar said:

I end up buying most of my husbands clothes 

I have actually never thought about this. But yeah, I buy 90% of my husband's clothes and I have for almost 20 years now. It deos makes sense that so much of it is similar colors. 

[lizzybee]

I think she’s right to say she doesn’t know what that will look like if and when it happens. She didn’t say it wouldn’t or that she’d turn them away if it does become a reality. None of us really know how something will feel for us until we live it. Parenting is hard at every “season” and I’m okay with her insinuating that she’s taking it one challenge at a time. 

[HereticHick]

If someone asked me "how married are you" I'd assume they were hitting on me

[GuineaPigCourtship]

If someone asked me "how married are you" I'd think they were either idiots or non-native English speakers who didn't actually understand the word.  I am not used to being hit on, but even when that used to happen I was very slow on the uptake.

[AuntCloud]

I would reply “in imperial or metric?”, then proceed to steal UncleCloud’s beer.