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nelliebelle1197

Spanky n Lisa 4: Wicked Wicked Deeds

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Howl

@Banyan, that's a brilliant summary!  It makes perfect sense in a marvelously bizarre way. 

 

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FundieGhostWriter

BREAKING NEWS:

Hold the phone! Is this our explanation? Are the ends finally tying together?

Alice Cooper is on the road again, and in February he will be touring

AUSTRALIA!

https://alicecooper.com/tour/

Dear Vince,

Or should that be G'Day old mate, how the bloody hell are you? My wife Lisa speaks fluent Australian, I can chunder hypocrisy and 90 proof Scotch carrot soup until the sun stops shining on Bondi beach, and both of us would be delighted to join your upcoming tour as stage technicians (please don't call us roadies). My Oscar-nominated friend Doug PhillipsPhil Douglas is also desperatekeen to offer photographic services at a competitive rate, and will prove invaluable to you in preparing mock stage executions ('that's not a noose, THAT'S a noose') with full attention to historical detail. DougPhil will also provide, at a fraction of retail price, as many of the wigs, hats, jackets and codpieces set out in attachment1 as your band might require (if they all happen to be very small men). Attachment2 is a short (actually, not that short) film of an 'act' that Lisa and I have been working at for some time. If you have not yet hired dancers, I thought that this might fit into your stage show during performances of The Black Widow, Raped and Freezin'*, or Bed of Nails (better still a medley of all three - I'm up for a marathon, eh mate!). I have delegated my imperial headship prerogative to Lisa (she's hot as shrimps on a barbie!) to choose her own leather and chains, and I have (attachment3) enclosed a picture of my riding crop collection so that you can decide which ones will work best on stage (I assure you they all work very well in private), while in attachment4 you can watch me on the catwalk (enjoy! - and remember to call me Champ or Curly if you like what you see) modelling a selection of...

gag (I mean chunder) - sorry - I can't go on. Where do we keep the brain bleach?

 

*not, incidentally, about violence against a woman. Rather, a song about an overconfident buck who hitches a ride with a cougar, who turns out to be much more than a handful for him.

Just sayin'...

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Meh
refugee
On 9/3/2019 at 11:20 AM, older than allosaurs said:

Here's RC today. He may no longer attend a Calvinist church, but he still gets all excited about a vengeful deity.

Does God send hurricanes?

Posted on September 3, 2019 by RC

Of course He does. How strange that such should even be a question. But of course, He also sends such strange questions. There is nothing that comes to pass that overpowers God, that He did not plan from before all time, that He could not stop. God is not a storm watcher, but a storm maker. Hurricanes are profoundly destructive events. Properties are destroyed, lives are lost, whole cities are devastated. All because God ordained that such would be.

...

...Second, and just as compelling, we know because He has told us so. That God is sovereign over calamity isn’t something embarrassing about God that He is in heaven hoping we never figure out. It is something He delights in, something He is proud of.    ...

God creates calamity, for His glory.

 

So is Lisa and their "god-breathed union" a calamity created for God's glory?

Sounds like he’s spending a lot of time looking on the wine while it is red. Or whatever that scripture says.

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Howl

Oh, @Banyan, I'd like to listen but I. just. can't.  

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older than allosaurs
1 hour ago, Howl said:

Oh, @Banyan, I'd like to listen but I. just. can't.  

I put my phone in my pocket while doing yardwork. So now at your service I have a nice burgundy flowered clematis plant ready to pass on if anyone wants it, and the following tidbits:

  • The Dunamis Fellowship (which seems to have no relation to the other, long-established Dunamis Fellowship) is setting up a board and intends eventually to open a Reformed seminary near Fort Wayne.
  • This institution will address the need for pastors who have the right character and personality, not just the requisite knowledge. (I have to admire how he said this without choking or giggling.)
  • RCJR is confident as a writer but he needs Lisa to keep him organized and help with technology.
  • Lisa is brilliant online and should do more writing about cooking. She can sneak in religious instruction along with the food tips.
  • Most of the people who are saying he shouldn't be blogging have blogs themselves. So there.
  • He has never taught anyone who didn't want to be taught and never failed to teach anyone who did.
  • Pine Hill church has broadened his social horizons and he now realizes it's ok to have electric guitars as part of worship.

 

Edited by older than allosaurs
wrong preposition
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Banyan
1 hour ago, Howl said:

Oh, @Banyan, I'd like to listen but I. just. can't.  

I made it just to the thing I quoted (about the 7 minute mark). That's as much as I could stomach. Once the queasiness settles down I may try again.

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Howl

The Lisa and Spanky mutual admiration society seems hinky.  She is not a good writer.  She's a marginally OK writer.  

 I hate to see RC dipping his toes into the these waters. 

"I'm a disgraced not so recovered alcoholic and heretic who has been disfellowshipped  and defrocked and left a huge amount of destruction in my wake.  I should begin teaching others!  Yeah, that's it!  What? What's that you say?  No, LISA SAYS I'M WONDERFUL. "  

 

Edited by Howl

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Banyan

So after weeks of lying and raging against anyone who questioned him about what he was doing in ministry again RC Jr suddenly reverses himself and forms Dunamis Fellowship. He's still not ordained and he doesn't even come close to meeting the biblical qualifications for being a minister. But why bother with trivial church formalities when you can just form a nonprofit corporation instead? Lisa is the ultimate authority in such matters and she says it's all good. So that's all one really needs anymore to be a minister.

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FundieGhostWriter
10 hours ago, Banyan said:

RC Jr venerates Lisa as his Savior: "I look at you as the voice of Jesus calling out 'Lazarus come forth'."

Could a dedicated Sproul snarker please provide a recap (or links) on how marriage to Lisa was explained by either father (who officiated) or son in the first place? I know it was opposed by Jr's denomination and that made him jump ship (again) - but was there reasoning published to 'validate' the marriage? Both Sprouls have said much about the position of women in marriage, church and society, so is there an explanation somewhere of exactly how Lisa is free of her previous 'headships'? Or is this another case (like church hopping to dodge ecclesial censure) of 'do as Sproul says, not as Sproul does'?

8 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

address the need for pastors who have the right character and personality, not just the requisite knowledge.

Forget becoming a roadie for Alice Cooper. This clown has a great future in stand-up.

8 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

She can sneak in religious instruction along with the food tips.

Ahh...? 'Don't forget to say grace' ?

'Don't eat this just before Holy Communion' ?

'Eat lots of this before downing a bottle of scotch so that you'll still be able to stand up in the pulpit'...?

9 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

He has never taught anyone who didn't want to be taught

Hmm, funny that he'd be into 'binding' church membership 'covenants' if that was the case.

9 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

and never failed to teach anyone who did.

Except when he had already excommunicated them. Or was drunk as a skunk and chundering in a corner.

9 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

he now realizes it's ok to have electric guitars as part of worship.

Well, to each their own, but I'm glad to not even be overly in agreement with him on that. BlimeyCow

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/31778-josh-harris-announces-i-kissed-dating-goodbye-is-to-be-discontinued/?page=21

(thanks @refugee) - recently reminded me of all I need to know about modern 'worship music'. It's towards the bottom of the page. Gold.

6 hours ago, Howl said:

She's a marginally OK writer.

Dear @Howl, if ever I find myself down at heel and clutching my last dime I'm heading to your place. You are very generous.

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Howl

😎   She does manage two or three sentences with proper  structure before the next goes into the verbal blender. 

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Banyan
Quote

@ 26:00 "I have never, in the whole history of my life, whether I was at the peak or whether I was in the valley, I have never ever taught someone that God didn't want me to teach, and I have never failed to teach someone that God wanted me to teach. So this is in God's hands."

Wow! So there you go! How do you argue with "Because God told me so"? And of course whatever God tells Sproul trumps whatever God tells anybody else. This is classic cult leader lingo. It sounds like he didn't learn a thing from his 2006 defrocking for spiritual abuse. Sproul will make it easy to join Dunamis Fellowship, but if the past is any indicator he'll make it very difficult to ever leave.

Sproul has a history of making it easy to join his church but making it impossible to transfer membership to any another church. St. Peter Presbyterian Church is known as "The Hotel California of churches -- you can check in any time you want but you can never leave." Sproul would only let you leave if you had a compelling excuse to move out of state, like having to move back where you came from to take care of a dying parent. But transferring to another church in the same area was all but impossible, especially if you wanted to leave because you didn't agree with his theology. Leaving meant you had to have the permission of him and his elders, something he rarely ever granted and something which required multiple grillings before his inquisitorial "session" in an effort to wear you down and change your mind. If you left without his permission, even after successfully being received into full membership by another church, Sproul would excommunicate you and order his church to shun you, including your children. Any families that failed to comply with his shunning orders were likewise "disciplined." Failing to comply with any of Sproul's autocratic demands were met with "discipline." The John Austin family learned this first hand. They weren't the first to be treated so hatefully (it'd been going on for a decade), but they were the first who had the courage to blow the whistle.

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Howl

I just googled "dunamis."  Holy woo.  The first thing that popped up was how to activate dunamis power with a Katie Souza youtube. 

Here's Katie's bio: 

Quote

Infectious Love. Katie was a career criminal most of her life, was convicted of a number of felonies and sent to federal prison to serve almost twelve years. ... She immediately became an outspoken advocate for Jesus and her infectious love for him caused many women inside her cell block to accept Him as their Savior.

Here's a testimony from a couple who forked over $60 for Souza's show, only to realize that yeah, Katie Souza used their $60 to ask for more money. Souza is a charismatic, apparently.   Testimony from a couple who went to Katie Souza’s Denver Show

Hoo boy, that's a rabbit hole. 

I sense GREAT POTENTIAL for Spanky and Lisa getting in to some dunamis power hour action. 

 

Edited by Howl

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Meh
refugee
8 hours ago, Banyan said:

Sproul would only let you leave if you had a compelling excuse to move out of state, like having to move back where you came from to take care of a dying parent.

And in that case, I’d imagine his session’s counsel would have been to move the dying parent out of the place they’ve been living, away from their friends and familiar places and comforts, and bring them to the congregant’s home to live out their days.

Edited by refugee
Corrected autocorrect

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DomWackTroll
On 9/6/2019 at 3:21 PM, older than allosaurs said:

The Dunamis Fellowship (which seems to have no relation to the other, long-established Dunamis Fellowship

Hmm, wouldn't want any legal trouble, so I suggest a slight name change: Dude's-A-Mess Fellowship. 

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Don'tlikekoolaid

I love how FJ takes these assholes and makes them an object of derision.  I wish I had FJ when I left my fundy husband.  I hope you all know what a great public service we are doing. ( Sis Kool is drinking hot buttered rum and feeling maudlin.)      I love you guys.

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Howl
On 9/7/2019 at 2:14 PM, Banyan said:

If you left without his permission, even after successfully being received into full membership by another church, Sproul would excommunicate you and order his church to shun you, including your children.

Thank you for this recap to remind us just how incredibly abusive Spanky really is. 

Edited by Howl

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Antipatriarch
On 9/6/2019 at 3:21 PM, older than allosaurs said:

This institution will address the need for pastors who have the right character and personality, not just the requisite knowledge. (I have to admire how he said this without choking or giggling.)

Wow. And it'll be led by someone who has "none of the above".

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Tired
CyborgKin
On 9/8/2019 at 8:01 AM, Howl said:

Here's Katie's bio

Sounds like she's still a career criminal :P

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Howl
2 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Sounds like she's still a career criminal :P

Yup, the usual grifter action. 

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Banyan

I'm now wondering if Sproul applied for a real tax number for Dunamis Fellowship or if he's up to his old tricks and just stole one from another church. Or maybe he used KISS-MY-ASS for a tax number.

Quote

At 10:05 PM, Anonymous Former SPPC member said...

On the ARP's tax number I know for a fact it wasn't the first or last time R.C. pulled that kind of scam. He'd also used the tax number 547769277 to open a couple bank accounts. He said it was just a number he made up. Seemed kind of proud about it too. He even encouraged me and a couple other men at a St. Peter men's breakfast meeting in Bristol to use it if we ever needed a tax number. I asked why he picked that specific number. He said by translating "KISS MY ASS" from a telephone keypad. That got some laughs around the table. But he wasn't just kidding. To me it seemed like a crazy idea so I never tried it. The entire incident didn't sit right with me. It wasn't the first time I'd heard him talk crazy like that either. So I stopped going to those breakfast meetings. I found out later couple of the other SPPC guys actually did open business bank accounts with that number. As far as I know they got away with it. At least for a time. Pretty risky stuff though.

https://rc-sproul-jr.blogspot.com/2019/04/rc-sproul-jr-abandons-reformed-faith.html#c2514468803366877978

 

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Howl

Hubs is a long-time CPA at a tiny firm.  One thing that he's always appreciated is that the principal is a straight arrow honest business man and that includes all things related to Federal taxes (we have no state income tax). 

So, in addition to his numerous character flaws, Spanky's actions go directly against Jesus' teaching: 

Quote

Matthew 22:21 Jesus said "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's...

This refers specifically to paying taxes. 

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hoipolloi
37 minutes ago, Howl said:

This refers specifically to paying taxes.

Oh come on.

We all know that if Jesus had a pool boy or a personal trainer or a scam fellowship, He'd totally want us to give Him at least some of Caesar's share to pay for those necessities. 

Right?

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older than allosaurs

RC's podcast today features extra special guest Tullian Tchividjian ("rhymes with religion," he says).

Tullian says people want to hear pastors who can tell them they are "the worst sinner you know, and mean it." Always the grandiose with these guys. This not only gives him the right, the obligation, to return to preaching, after being a lying, cheating, spiritual abuser, but it's the only way to go. The days of "a relatively good person" telling other people how to be better are over, says Tullian.

RC for his part sounded kind of miffed that Tullian launched into a monologue instead of sharing the airtime.

That's all I've got. My ears kept glazing over, or something.

 

 

Edited by older than allosaurs
I misspelled Tchividjian, but I can pronounce it now
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Howl

Both these guys are one-trick manipulative grifter ponies.  It's all they know how to do and they figure if it worked one time, it will work again.  

Does Spanky have the moral edge over Tullian, because Spanky only registered for Ashley Madison and didn't - and I can't emphasize this enough -- actually inhale, wink, wink. 

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