New speices of bloodsucking leach found near Washington

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Ladies and gentlemen, the newest member of the Fuck Face administration

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What has three jaws, 56 to 59 teeth in each, no thumbs and was first discovered in Charles County?

This is about gross, bloodsucking leeches and how a team led by a researcher at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History discovered a new species.

Anna Phillips, who led the team and is the museum’s curator of parasitic worms, said the group began researching a type of common “medicinal leech” — called Macrobdella decora — found throughout the country in 2015 to see whether it could find any geographic differences in genetics and DNA.

Phillips said it’s important to note how close to an urban area the discovery was made, as Charles County is less than 50 miles outside Washington, D.C.