Gwen Shamblin Lara 9: Perfecting Hypocrisy

[HOPEforMEandYOU]

No.  She is always trying to get me to go to Brentwood.  I don't know if going would actually help or not.

[Marmion]

17 hours ago, Blue said:

I was reading on one of the Sorrell's FB pages (we're not friends on FB, so everything I saw would have been readily and publicly available, and not any form of private communication) and I saw where he was telling that his son had prayed for a good game, and then had a fantastic game, and that the glory went to God and the teachings of RF. 

It drives me nuts the way everything isn't just linked to God, but to RF itself... as if God is shining down on them not just because of their devotion, but because of the congregation they're a part of. I know that's literally what they believe... that the "fruit" and "blessings for obedience" are being showered on RF'ers because they've chosen to follow Gwen God, but it just seems like such a precarious position for your faith. What happens when you have a bad game? A game where you miss every play and just can't get your footing? Is that God punishing you because you weren't as devoted to obedience and leadership and Gwen? I've heard that being taught (privately, not necessarily from the pulpit), and it makes me so sad for those kids. Bad days/games/tests/classes are a part of life... God is using them to help you mature and grow... they aren't his punishment because you ate more cake than you "needed" at the birthday party or because you were annoyed that mom and dad wanted you to clean your room when you wanted to be playing.

 

This is an example of mystical manipulation  .  It's a part of the process of  brainwashing .   

 

[Marmion]

1 hour ago, matttmartin said:

Anyone who has left this group have anything helpful for a husband trying to get his wife out?

Here is some general  advice on how to best respond when a loved one might be involved in a high control group , such as Remnant Fellowship .  I hope that it will be helpful .   https://freedomofmind.com/faq-items/what-should-i-do-if-i-suspect-a-friend-or-family-member-is-getting-involved-with-a-destructive-cult/   ,  https://freedomofmind.com/how-to-rescue-a-loved-one-from-a-cult-the-strategic-interactive-approach/

[Marmion]

13 hours ago, MeanieMe said:

WD, like all diets, have a 95% failure rate over 5 years. The first years, usually, all is great, the adrenaline from all the starving keeps you on a high. Then come in the binges. And binges are hellish enough without adding a "thou art sinning, thou art the devil" component

The proper definition of a diet  is all that which you eat .  And the focus of a good diet should be to promote health , not so much to lose weight .  I myself have lost around 40 pounds , off of my top weight of 280 , by following the guidelines set by the South Beach Diet  , which unlike with Gwen Shamblin Lara , was developed by a cardiologist .  I am not so concerned about the accumulation of fat in my midsection as I am the build up of fat in my heart arteries . If I lose additional weight then great , but as long as I am feeling well , and don't wind up requiring open heart surgery , as a number of close family members have had to have , I will be satisfied . I say if you're good to your body , your body will be good to you .  That to me is true body positivity https://wellseek.co/2017/09/12/true-meaning-body-positivity/ . 

[Fashion Forward]

On 10/3/2019 at 4:33 AM, MeanieMe said:

I’ve included some photos that I found of members who have been published in the media advertising Weigh Down next to photos of the same people taken within the last 6 months. As you can see, some of them have maintained their weight while others have gained some of their weight back. (Which is completely normal in my opinion and nothing to be ashamed about) All of the photos I have collected are from public pages. 

 

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Edited October 4, 2019 by Blahblah
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[Blue]

3 hours ago, matttmartin said:

No.  She is always trying to get me to go to Brentwood.  I don't know if going would actually help or not.

No, it most definitely would NOT help if you don't want her in RF.

When she goes to Brentwood, she's going to be love bombed. Everyone will surround her, make her the center of their world, take her out to eat, invite her over to their gorgeous mansions, and spew on and on about how all of it is due to "this message" and "Gwen Shamblin Lara." She will feel like the most loved and special person on the planet, and once she feels that way, it's painfully easy to ignore all the red flags going up everywhere.

[MeanieMe]

9 hours ago, Marmion said:

The proper definition of a diet  is all that which you eat .  And the focus of a good diet should be to promote health , not so much to lose weight .  I myself have lost around 40 pounds , off of my top weight of 280 , by following the guidelines set by the South Beach Diet  , which unlike with Gwen Shamblin Lara , was developed by a cardiologist .  I am not so concerned about the accumulation of fat in my midsection as I am the build up of fat in my heart arteries . If I lose additional weight then great , but as long as I am feeling well , and don't wind up requiring open heart surgery , as a number of close family members have had to have , I will be satisfied . I say if you're good to your body , your body will be good to you .  That to me is true body positivity https://wellseek.co/2017/09/12/true-meaning-body-positivity/ . 

If you go by the dictionary, then the definition of the word "diet" you give is absolutely correct. But in everyday language, most times, "diet" means restricting either the quality, either the quantity -or both - of what you eat.

It's great if you've made a change for the better in your lifestyle and that you are happy with it. Being happy with it is the main thing.

For me, any time of restriction has led to a catastrophy. I went through a brief phase of anorexia, followed by a longer phase of purging bulimia, and ended with a decade of binge eating disorder. The only thing I've found to solve the problem is to stop restricting. The first months on this free-for-all, I just ate and ate and ate, but strangely my weight stayed about the same (?). I too was at 280 pounds when I stopped restricting, so a high weight. Now I don't know because I've chucked the scales away, but I know it's not more. My bloodworks are a lot better now I've stopped yoyo-ing - no diabetes or anything in sight. I've read a couple of studies that have shown that it is the repeated attemps at restricting, not obesity, that creates most health risks.  Yesterday I was glad to eat chocolates watching Ted Anger telling Gwen how horrible it was to stuff one's face.

This is only my story. I know I cannot generalize it to all. But I see a lot of people on diets, even here in France, balanced ones, crazy ones, and in all cases all the people are OBSESSED with food, weight, eating, recipes. Not eating-disordered people, plain old dieting people! The more people restrict, the more people get fatter. When my ED started, I was 130 pounds for 5'7... last weigh-in at the Drs was about 270 (and 5 months pregnant). This stuff has plagued two decades of my life that's why I'm so passionate about the topic. I can't say all is rosy in my life though, because now I have to face acute depression the ED made worse and it's very painful.

I do sincerely wish you the best with your changes. I am here only relating my own, personal experience.

[AmazonGrace]

The best way to get Gwodly is to spend a day with Gwen 

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Not sure why, since all of creation tells you what God wants, supposedly. Wouldn't spending a day with a squirrel and a twig work?

[CTRLZero]

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...spend a day in the life of someone spirit led and fully devoted to God alone.

Name names, Gwen, because this isn't you. 

 

[RFsurvivor]

16 hours ago, matttmartin said:

Anyone who has left this group have anything helpful for a husband trying to get his wife out?

 

16 hours ago, matttmartin said:

No.  She is always trying to get me to go to Brentwood.  I don't know if going would actually help or not.

Is she a full blown remnant member or a weigh down participants? 
 

Has she gone to Brentwood already?

This is what happened to my family:

She will be love bombed. She will be told that moving will help improve her relationship with God because she will be “with the saints” and “in the middle of the pack”. She will be told that God will work out the finances and logistics of moving. She will be told that God will find her a job in Brentwood. They will tell her all the good things because once you move then Remnant has a tighter grip. 
 

Then once in Brentwood you only hang out with Saints and you end up in an echo chamber of cult members who don’t realize what has happened or that they are in a cult. Family gets less important and maybe even cut off depending on how they react to your membership to Remnant Fellowship. Then if one day she realizes what happened, she has no one outside the church for help/support. 
 

I would recommend looking at information from Stephen Hassan and the BITE model. He is a cult expert and has recommendations on how to handle family members in cults. 
 

I would also recommend you read Remnants divorce policy on their website. It gives you a good idea of where their beliefs currently are (divorce policy has changed over the years from no divorce to divorce depending on situation). It will give you context for how your wife may get counseling in regards to you not being a member. 
 

but lastly, don’t give up. I was a member for over a decade and I woke up and left. It was most of my childhood and I still managed to get out. I had to walk away from 95% of my friends and the life I had, but from the other side, it was so worth it. 

[HOPEforMEandYOU]

She has been there.  She has been in since 2011.

She has always said she would not leave me, but then I saw that Gwen divorced David and that set off alarms for me.

I did try those books at first, but gave up.  It may be time to start again.

Thanks for sharing your story.  Was there anything in particular that 'woke' you up?

[RFsurvivor]

1 minute ago, matttmartin said:

She has been there.  She has been in since 2011.

She has always said she would not leave me, but then I saw that Gwen divorced David and that set off alarms for me.

I did try those books at first, but gave up.  It may be time to start again.

Thanks for sharing your story.  Was there anything in particular that 'woke' you up?

I would recommend starting at the first thread on this topic. There are many stories and people's experiences throughout. For me, it was a slow build up of concerns that I put aside until a specific event where I felt betrayed. I discuss it earlier, but in short, I was not allowed to be in my supposed best friend's wedding party. According to Remnant since I had gained some weight, it was clear i needed to work on my relationship with God because to Remnant weight gain = sin and your relationship with God needs work. Since my relationship with God wasn't "right", I couldn't be on stage because they saw that as approval of my "sin" (weight gain...like 10-15 lbs.)

Side note: I wore a size 8/10 dress to that wedding...so overweight...no wonder I have body image issues

[freefromthin]

Quoted from MeanieMe...

For me, any time of restriction has led to a catastrophy. I went through a brief phase of anorexia, followed by a longer phase of purging bulimia, and ended with a decade of binge eating disorder. The only thing I've found to solve the problem is to stop restricting. The first months on this free-for-all, I just ate and ate and ate, but strangely my weight stayed about the same (?). I too was at 280 pounds when I stopped restricting, so a high weight. Now I don't know because I've chucked the scales away, but I know it's not more. My bloodworks are a lot better now I've stopped yoyo-ing - no diabetes or anything in sight. I've read a couple of studies that have shown that it is the repeated attemps at restricting, not obesity, that creates most health risks.  Yesterday I was glad to eat chocolates watching Ted Anger telling Gwen how horrible it was to stuff one's face.

 

 I also had to end ALL restriction, and in the beginning I did eat QUITE a bit of food. I had such trauma from my experience with WD that I had to end ANY behavior that even closely resembled the things that I did while being an active participant. I DID gain weight, but that's because I was significantly below my set point (and had the dizziness and lightheadedness, etc to go along with it) and my body needed to heal itself. Like many people, I have ended my dieting career significantly larger than when I started. My bloodwork has been great so far, but I DO plan to get a check-up to see if there have been any changes. 

Edited October 4, 2019 by freefromthin
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[Chocolate Lover]

I did Slimming World a few years back.  It seemed mostly sensible in its methods.  I lost weight, ending up the lightest I'd been since just after my kids were born (11st 7lbs or 161lbs).  It didn't stick and, 7 years later, I'm now heavier than when I started.  I had another few weeks attending about a year ago and it brought back memories of how, using the SW plan, I was spending all day thinking about food, what I was going to eat, how was I going to fit in ,y Healthy Extras, etc.  These thoughts were all-consuming.  There was little room left for anything else.  I became anxious if I had to deviate from my day's eating plans.  I dreaded going out to eat.

Fast forward to now.  I eat what I want to eat and how much of it I want.  I have no idea how,much I weigh, I'm going by how my clothes fit.  In the past couple of months I've naturally started choosing food that is a little more healthy though not every day.   I'm happy with this.  I listen to my body and try to give it what it wants. 

Gwod would soon kick me out of her ED cult.

[freefromthin]

1 hour ago, Chocolate Lover said:

I did Slimming World a few years back.  It seemed mostly sensible in its methods.  I lost weight, ending up the lightest I'd been since just after my kids were born (11st 7lbs or 161lbs).  It didn't stick and, 7 years later, I'm now heavier than when I started.  I had another few weeks attending about a year ago and it brought back memories of how, using the SW plan, I was spending all day thinking about food, what I was going to eat, how was I going to fit in ,y Healthy Extras, etc.  These thoughts were all-consuming.  There was little room left for anything else.  I became anxious if I had to deviate from my day's eating plans.  I dreaded going out to eat.

Fast forward to now.  I eat what I want to eat and how much of it I want.  I have no idea how,much I weigh, I'm going by how my clothes fit.  In the past couple of months I've naturally started choosing food that is a little more healthy though not every day.   I'm happy with this.  I listen to my body and try to give it what it wants. 

Gwod would soon kick me out of her ED cult.

I cosign this!

 

20 hours ago, Fashion Forward said:

I’ve included some photos that I found of members who have been published in the media advertising Weigh Down next to photos of the same people taken within the last 6 months. As you can see, some of them have maintained their weight while others have gained some of their weight back. (Which is completely normal in my opinion and nothing to be ashamed about) All of the photos I have collected are from public pages. 

 

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I have seen a picture of Maggie where she was significantly larger than the one here. I sincerely believe that she has picked up her WD habits and is forcing her weight to go back down. In a testimony that she shared on a You Can Overcome show, she stated that someone yelled across the parking lot asking her weight. As we know, RF is very weight focused. I would also like to add this...my interactions with Maggie were very positive, but she is a DIE HARD WD supporter.

[NarcissismKills]

Equating a little extra weight with sin is not only ignorant, it's evil. Gwen Shamblin Lara's Remnant Fellowship cult is evil.

[Blessings of the Corn]

5 hours ago, Chocolate Lover said:

I did Slimming World a few years back.  It seemed mostly sensible in its methods.  I lost weight, ending up the lightest I'd been since just after my kids were born (11st 7lbs or 161lbs).  It didn't stick and, 7 years later, I'm now heavier than when I started.  I had another few weeks attending about a year ago and it brought back memories of how, using the SW plan, I was spending all day thinking about food, what I was going to eat, how was I going to fit in ,y Healthy Extras, etc.  These thoughts were all-consuming.  There was little room left for anything else.  I became anxious if I had to deviate from my day's eating plans.  I dreaded going out to eat.

Fast forward to now.  I eat what I want to eat and how much of it I want.  I have no idea how,much I weigh, I'm going by how my clothes fit.  In the past couple of months I've naturally started choosing food that is a little more healthy though not every day.   I'm happy with this.  I listen to my body and try to give it what it wants. 

Gwod would soon kick me out of her ED cult.

yes! Intuitive Eating is the way to go. I'm trying to learn this and unlearn all the toxic diet culture bullshit that I've internalized. I ate low carb for 2 years, and it did help with some health issues, but restriction does not last - it's not sustainable, and, as with all diets, I was thinking almost 24/7 about food. Now I'm trying to just eat what I want  and not think about it much beyond that. I like healthy foods; I gravitate towards them and they make me feel good, but sometimes I do want some chips and I'll eat a few and move on. Instead of "cheating" and having to "make it up later" I am simply living and listening to my body. It take a LOT of work, but it's so worth it.  Someday I hope to not think about my weight in negative terms. Being bigger than someone else isn't bad; it just IS. I think about this a lot. I want everyone to love themselves enough to stop torturing their bodies and mental health with restrictions and diet talk. I hate Gwen.

[WeirdHarold]

On 10/3/2019 at 3:42 PM, matttmartin said:

No.  She is always trying to get me to go to Brentwood.  I don't know if going would actually help or not.

I feel for you.  It must be tough.  I have a family member in it, but I can't imagine it being my spouse.

I don't see how going to Remnant Fellowship in Brentwood could be helpful.  It probably depends on your temperament and attitude.

[Blue]

10 hours ago, matttmartin said:

She has been there.  She has been in since 2011.

She has always said she would not leave me, but then I saw that Gwen divorced David and that set off alarms for me.

I did try those books at first, but gave up.  It may be time to start again.

Thanks for sharing your story.  Was there anything in particular that 'woke' you up?

My first instinct was to ask you what the pull was for her, and then show her she could get it elsewhere, and how she doesn't NEED to turn to RF for those things.

The problem is that the pull is often superficial. I had an RF friend who went to church with me (which alone was shocking!), and when I asked what was different, she said that everyone in RF is "all in." When I asked how she knew the people at my church aren't "all in," she mentioned very superficial things, like how loud they sang, if they lifted their hands during worship, and their response to the sermon (RF members seem to cry a lot over a sermon, and she considered that proof that they were really taking God's word to heart). It was frustrating... could I find her another church where EVERYONE raises their hands and EVERYONE sings loudly and EVERYONE cries over the sermon? No, of course not... because even in a very spiritual body of believers people will worship differently... sing differently... respond differently. The reason the people at RF ALL respond that way is because they've been conditioned to think that those things are proof of how much they love God... not because they're more spiritual or devoted.

The only people I know who have gotten out did so via a betrayal of some sort by the group. Most have been pushed out because of perceived sin (weight gain, not following the college/marriage/job path their authority/parents have chosen for them, asking too many questions) and that's when they realize that all of their relationships are dependent on them being a robot... they're conditional relationships. In my experience, pointing out the inconsistencies of Gwen is pointless... not saying you shouldn't do it... but understand that most RF members (and potential members... sounds like she's pretty involved if she's thinking of moving to Brentwood) view Gwen's word as the word of God... she can't be wrong. 

[freefromthin]

Since weddings have been a topic of conversation here, and some people have mentioned the way that RF people "serve" at events, I wanted to share the latest "Life With Gwen and Joe". When I see the happy faces and extravagant events, it's easy to see (once again) how I was drawn to this group. When I hear all of the talk about how much people love God and each other in this group, it sounds like a fairy tale. I was told to come "thump the watermelon" (meaning come to Brentwood) and see how genuine everyone there is. I was told that I would have a place to stay and even had someone offer to come pick me up, and I was going to be at least 45 minutes away. Seems like a lot of things are in their favor, the weather, the amount of people willing to donate their time, etc. Then I hear stories from the other side and I'm left to wonder...

[AmazonGrace]

Gwen thinks dieting is just like slavery, appearing not to know what diets and slaves are.
 

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True Freedom

October 05, 2019

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair [depression]. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1–3

What a beautiful picture of what is happening to you right now! Look at the fruit in your life from living these truths, or just look at where you once were and where you have come. You have just been delivered from the clutches of the mighty Pharaoh, and you have been led across the Red Sea by the hand of God. Many of you have tried everything to escape the prison of dieting and the pain of overweight and now are joining a great exodus of people finally turning to God for His mighty rescue.

Just as the Israelites were set free from Egypt, you have just been set free to love God instead of the refrigerator or pantry. You have just been set free from making bricks for Pharaoh (dieting, counting fat grams, have-to exercising, pills, liquid fasts, foods you do not want to eat, constant weighing, clothes that do not fit, and the scorn of men, ___________________________ . . . fill in the blank).

 

 

[CTRLZero]

You have just been delivered from the clutches of the mighty Pharaoh, and you have been led across the Red Sea by the hand of God.

Her metaphors are so dramatic.  If I'd escaped captivity and walked across the Red Sea, I probably wouldn't be carrying any excess weight, I'll grant her that. 

I understand that she wants people to live joyful lives, but I also think she is misapplying the concept.  And in her Isaiah quote above, is despair really the same as [depression]?

Is twirling a biblical concept, or is this just Gwen and Joe showing off their new skill (ad nauseam)?  I guess it's a metaphor for keeping their congregants off balance.

[WeirdHarold]

12 hours ago, freefromthin said:

 

I learned a new Jewish word in that video.  Definitely a Jewish wannabe cult.

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-huppah-or-wedding-canopy/

#hebrewroots

[ManyGoats]

3 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

Is twirling a biblical concept, or is this just Gwen and Joe showing off their new skill (ad nauseam)?  I guess it's a metaphor for keeping their congregants off balance.

LOL Seriously, though, I think it's a stand-in for real compatibility or relationship between the two. <twirl, twirl> "Look how deliriously happy we are!" <twirl, twirl>

As I've mentioned before, Joe is getting better at the mindless chatter, though Gwen still sounds like she's trying to figure out what to say while she's saying it. It's hard to listen to. 

[WeirdHarold]

13 hours ago, Blue said:

I had an RF friend who went to church with me (which alone was shocking!), and when I asked what was different, she said that everyone in RF is "all in." When I asked how she knew the people at my church aren't "all in," she mentioned very superficial things, like how loud they sang, if they lifted their hands during worship, and their response to the sermon (RF members seem to cry a lot over a sermon, and she considered that proof that they were really taking God's word to heart). It was frustrating... could I find her another church where EVERYONE raises their hands and EVERYONE sings loudly and EVERYONE cries over the sermon? No, of course not... because even in a very spiritual body of believers people will worship differently... sing differently... respond differently. The reason the people at RF ALL respond that way is because they've been conditioned to think that those things are proof of how much they love God... not because they're more spiritual or devoted.

RF may be more that way than most groups, but the idea that no other group can compare with mine is very common.  I've heard many times that this group or the other was the "most loving" or most whatever that someone has ever experienced.  I have no doubt that most of the people who said that, if they were to relocate to someplace else and find a group to meet with regularly, eventually will say that about another group in the future.

That probably happens more with the more time one commits to the group.  That goes for in person meetings or services, and also recordings, videos, etc.  The more time you put into it, the more committed you become.  My family member "attends" at Brentwood via internet, but virtual attendance still reinforces and increases how "all in" my family member is.