Dillards 79: Sex Education on the Fly

[SassyPants]

Per DD his parents waited 11 years to start a family...”waited to start” sounds like a choice. If it hadn’t been a choice, he could have worded it much more clearly. As an example, my parents had to wait 11 years before they were blessed with a child. No matter the wording, I truly think that DD is pro family planning, and if so, good for him.

[bella8050]

Just skimmed over Wreck's blog...seriously did he just copy Jill's file and replace some words? There are some parts that look word for word what she wrote. Womp womp. Does plagiarism turn Jill on?

Am not surprised by the not allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex thing. I mean they weren't allowed to be alone, front hug, etc. before getting married cause obviously these things lead to one losing all self control where fornication must happen if these safeguards are not in place. Remember J&D had to have a chaperone with them at the church the morning of their wedding to call and check on Cathy in the hospital and to have prayer time. 

His IG comment about BC...typical Derick again. People have this "misconception" Dill cause your in laws have spoken publicly that they believe hormonal BC lead to a miscarriage. They have 19 children. Their circle of friends include people with very large families. That's part of the reason you ended up with 1,000 people at your wedding. Yes there are some assumptions going on because obviously the Dillard family is much smaller. But I think it's a valid question/curiousity when people with such different views on that subject get married. And then start talking about how they have sex 4-6 times a week. Y'all brought the subject up so I think it's a fair question.

Also please pass the brain bleach cause just eww

Quote

-Desire + intentionality = Hot love

-Have lots of good sex! You both need this time together regularly (5-6 times (or more) a week is a good start).  Guys, you need to keep yourself “joyfully available” for your wife, because only you can fulfill certain desires she might have

-Call her by a fun or sweet name! Save her name/contact in your phone with a sweet name (e.g. sugar plum, honey boo, baby doll, sweet butter cup, schnookums, etc.)

-Love isn’t always just about having ooey gooey, warm fuzzy feelings.

(Wreck said warm and ooey gooey in a post about sex...insert beavis and butthead laugh. Sorry not sorry.)

PS why wan't there anything about showering, shaving, putting on cologne for your wife to show her you care?

Edited August 22, 2019 by bella8050

[PennySycamore]

@Audrey2,  I remember seeing lots of "Happiness is Family Home Evening" stickers on cars particularly in Idaho and Utah.

[viii]

Yeah, if they’re having sex 5-6 times a week and only have two children, there’s some sort of planning going on, in my opinion. 

[PainfullyAware]

I think the rule about not spending alone time with a member of the opposite sex has nothing to do with them believing in any real theat of cheating. It has everything to do with being seen to be pious and prim. It's pure virtue signaling. 

The obfuscation is irritating, as usual. But it is interesting they're stepping away from the straight quiverful message. I agree nfp is most likely what he is referencing though. 

I think Jill must have had a big boost in blog readers or instagram viewers after discussing sex games and now they are really leaning into that topic. Like "sex for married Christians can be hot too"! Her ad revenue or promotions are helping to pay the bills, and she likes the publicity. I'm sure we will see many more tmi revelations from them both. Yay? ?

[lumpentheologie]

Can you have sex 5-6 times a week while doing NFP?  I've never tried NFP, but from that comment I'd guess they're using some kind of barrier method. 

[Iamtheway]

5-6 times a week? That sounds exhausting but good for you if you’re up for it. Being joyfully availible is evil though, no one should feel forced to have sex when they don’t really feel like it.

I’m breaking many of their rules right now since I’m spending the night away from my husband that I have left in charge of the household and child to go to an other city for work. 

And I guess I have to go have sex with my brother in law now since my sister just left for work and we’re alone in the house. 

[CarrotCake]

Does the being alone with a member of the opposite sex also count for family? And if not, where does family end then? Brother or father are okay, but brother or father in law not? And what about cousins? First cousins, second cousins, second cousin twice removed, ...?

[Fundie Bunny]

12 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

It's absolutely bonkers to me that they think that a woman needs a chaperone when a repairman (!!) comes over. Newsflash: they're there to fix your fridge/air conditioner/cable service not to boink your wife. What normal, healthy adult thinks that such a situation would lead to cheating?? And also, Derick, in your career you will have (gasp!) women clients and will work with women lawyers, paralegals, clerks and so on. Get your head out of your ass.

One whose whole sexual education has been based on porn.

[Pretzel]

I don't know if it's been mentioned yet, but IIRC Jill stated that "3-4 times is a good start" but Derick says "5-6 times is a good start". Now I'm no math genius but I know that 3-4=/= 5-6. WHO is Derick having sex with the other two times? ? JK. 

In all seriousness, they're huge show offs. They want everyone to think they are this hot couple who make tons of "hot love", but I doubt that is actually the case for them all the time. 

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

You know what? My partner and I have been together for 9 years, and there have been periods of over 1 to 2 years where we don't have sex because of my chronic illness. We love each other deeply and I have never doubted our relationship. It sucks, yes, but it's not the most important thing (to us) and there are plenty of other ways to connect on an intimate level without having "hot sex". These people really have no idea of what a healthy relationship is about. 

[CarrotCake]

44 minutes ago, Pretzel said:

I don't know if it's been mentioned yet, but IIRC Jill stated that "3-4 times is a good start" but Derick says "5-6 times is a good start". Now I'm no math genius but I know that 3-4=/= 5-6. WHO is Derick having sex with the other two times? ? JK. 

In all seriousness, they're huge show offs. They want everyone to think they are this hot couple who make tons of "hot love", but I doubt that is actually the case for them all the time. 

You know men always like to exaggerate when it comes to frequency ?

[nst]

9 hours ago, viii said:

Yeah, if they’re having sex 5-6 times a week and only have two children, there’s some sort of planning going on, in my opinion. 

and all this time i thought she looked depressed. 

turns out jill is exhausted. 

can you imagine the honeymoon - good lord. 

i remember when jessa posted a picture on her honeymoon and one person said she had bags because of all the sex...did anyone ever think it was an old photo...

anyway so jill and ofjill have tons of sex....

they have to stay relevant somehow 

[Pretzel]

10 minutes ago, nst said:

anyway so jill and ofjill have tons of sex....

they have to stay relevant somehow 

When you don't have a baby every 18 to 30 months to prove you're still addin' desire to intentionality on a hot love basis, blog posts no one ever asked for are the way to go! 

[HereticHick]

4 hours ago, Fundie Bunny said:

One whose whole sexual education has been based on porn.

You forgot the pizza delivery man. : )

 

PS 5-6 times a week??? Honestly, I ain't got time for that even if I wanted it.

[nst]

3 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

You forgot the pizza delivery man. : )

 

PS 5-6 times a week??? Honestly, I ain't got time for that even if I wanted it.

plus all the soreness nes pas (french) n est pas

unless it's oral 

 

but still 

and he has whiskers

oh dear 

carry on 

Edited August 22, 2019 by nst

[finnlassie]

I like to update my best friend on All Things Duggar and I dead serious can't wait to tell her all this. Last time we talked about the Duggardom in more specifics was when Jill posted her smexy post, to which my friend said... "Four times a week?! That's almost the same I have per month!! How do they have the time???"

[heysmilinstrange]

My guess is they have time to have that much sex because it's not lasting very long. 

[acheronbeach]

@nst n'est-ce pas?

[princessmahina]

9 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

Can you have sex 5-6 times a week while doing NFP?  I've never tried NFP, but from that comment I'd guess they're using some kind of barrier method. 

Depends on the week. If she has a pretty regular cycle, they could be could getting a fairly substantial number of “safe” days. He does mention periodic abstinence, so that could be a clue. 

[AtlanticTug]

11 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

Can you have sex 5-6 times a week while doing NFP?  I've never tried NFP, but from that comment I'd guess they're using some kind of barrier method. 

No, unless the week that she is fertile they have sex 5-6 times in a day or two. Sperm have a lifespan of 3-5 days so you count back from ovulation and that blocks of the majority of that week. And I don't know that they'd be having sex 5-6 times a week when she's actively bleeding either, but I guess it could be true.

Or 5-6 times is the average, so it's a hell of a lot more sex outside of her fertile week.

My guess is they use condoms. He could have decided that as the headship. And may have sold it to her on the basis of his current status as a student. Which, frankly, is the prudent thing to do. I'm almost positive she'll be pregnant/having the baby very shortly after he graduates.

Now I need to bleach my brain.

[viii]

22 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

My guess is they use condoms. He could have decided that as the headship. And may have sold it to her on the basis of his current status as a student. Which, frankly, is the prudent thing to do. I'm almost positive she'll be pregnant/having the baby very shortly after he graduates.

I agree with all of this. I think they obviously use some sort of barrier protection, which good for them. And I'm positive that once he's done school, they'll have two more children. 

[TZmom]

Ugh, 5-6 times a week is too much.

Some TMI coming up: my husband and I recently went on a mini-vacation. About 4 days, kid-free. So, of course, we had sex every day,  just because we could.  By the fourth day,  though,  we weren't really into it. It wasn't that much fun for either of us,  and I told my husband that I was going to need a few days off for my lady parts to recover.  

Maybe Jill and Derick are always "joyfully available", without considering if the other is actually interested or are they just agreeing because they are supposed to. I feel like 5-6 times a week probably gets pretty boring,  especially if they're only doing it missionary or in other sanitized Christian-friendly Kama Sutra positions. 

[bal maiden]

5-6 times per week doesn’t leave much time for anticipation. I’d be bored with sex that often and that predictably. 

[front hugs > duggs]

While I personally am not interested in/don't have time for sex 5-6 times/week, we also shouldn't act like it's shameful. Some people have very high sex drives and would not at all get bored of having sex that frequently or losing the anticipation to do so.