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Andrea Mills of YouTube infamy Had Cancer and Died


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20 minutes ago, 16strong said:

I'm worried that Tom and Andrea were so anti-intervention that none of the kids will recieve any grief counselling. Asher in particular looks to be in a very bad way and it worries greatly me that some of the kids might feel like they don't have a neutral, knowledgeable, safe and understanding person to talk to.

Completely agree with this.  Kids that age shouldn't have to be strong in every single way.  They deserve some personal attention for their individual reactions to their mother's death.  The whole thing is more depressing now than it was when she actually died.

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4 hours ago, 16strong said:

I'm worried that Tom and Andrea were so anti-intervention that none of the kids will recieve any grief counselling. Asher in particular looks to be in a very bad way and it worries greatly me that some of the kids might feel like they don't have a neutral, knowledgeable, safe and understanding person to talk to.

From some comments Tom made in either 'close to home' or 'the visit' video counselling isn't going to be an option. Prayer and faith are enough. Seeing Andrea pass, viewing her last moments, being with family etc is enough. I truly believe that this family think that going through the grieving process and trusting that God has all the answers is enough.

Meanwhile, the internal struggle of dealing with Andrea's death, unanswered questions as to why/if..., confronted with the fact that kids will be raising kids etc  - not all 9 kids are going to come away from this okay. Some may 'suck it up' and pretend long enough to convince themselves 'this is normal' but other's... hmm, only time will tell. 

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@under siege You summed up their future perfectly: “not all 9 kids are going to come away from this okay.”

This is heartbreak on top of heartbreak and downright neglect. I hope Tom’s eyes are opened before something tragic happens to any of the kids. 

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On 8/28/2019 at 1:23 PM, Koala said:

 

Blaming Andrea is absurd.  Jesus.  The woman had an aggressive form of cancer.  Her mom died of cancer.  It was not her fault.  

My heart totally breaks for her...she had to leave her babies behind.  She had to leave her husband behind.  She will miss out on birthdays, weddings, grandbabies...so many things.   She was in total agony in the end, and sadly, on display for the whole world to see.  If that doesn't break your heart, I don't know what will. 

Do your research into what causes inflammatory breast cancer and what we can do to afford getting it. We; as adults are responsible for our health. Today's society expects to be cured without taking responsibility for their health.  Medicine is attempting to get the message through to us all: preventive medicine! That means taking responsibility for your health and learning what can prevent disease. 

I know first hand what it was like to lose a mother when I was a child. If anyone knows what these children are going through I think I do. My heart breaks for them; especially Eden who is old enough to understand what she has lost.

I blame NO ONE. I simply present TRUTH...

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43 minutes ago, onlythetruth said:

...inflammatory breast cancer and what we can do to afford getting it.

I can't afford to get cancer. I doubt you can either.

I'm sorry you lost your mom when you were young, but you really are blaming. Even people who take every preventative step possible can still get cancer, and even people who fight like crazy to beat cancer can still die from it. I will not cheapen the struggle of brave people I knew who died from fucking cancer by blaming them for their own deaths.

A healthy lifestyle is very important. Prevention is very important. Treatment is beyond important. They are NOT a 100% guarantee of success. (See. I can use capital letters, too.)

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
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58 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I can't afford to get cancer. I doubt you can either.

I'm sorry you lost your mom when you were young, but you really are blaming. Even people who take every preventative step possible can still get cancer, and even people who fight like crazy to beat cancer can still die from it. I will not cheapen the struggle of brave people I knew who died from fucking cancer by blaming them for their own deaths.

A healthy lifestyle is very important. Prevention is very important. Treatment is beyond important. They are NOT a 100% guarantee of success. (See. I can use capital letters, too.)

I will cop your judgment. I have broad shoulders. However; you are wrong. I am here to give education not (I just realised you can bold here so I don't need to use CAPITALS).

Here is a YouTube that will state clearly that I am all for preventive medicine in preventing disease. I learned that if my mother who died when she was young had of stopped drinking/smoking and eat three healthy meals a day instead of one she may have prevented getting cancer. 

 

 

1 hour ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I can't afford to get cancer. I doubt you can either.

I'm sorry you lost your mom when you were young, but you really are blaming. Even people who take every preventative step possible can still get cancer, and even people who fight like crazy to beat cancer can still die from it. I will not cheapen the struggle of brave people I knew who died from fucking cancer by blaming them for their own deaths.

A healthy lifestyle is very important. Prevention is very important. Treatment is beyond important. They are NOT a 100% guarantee of success. (See. I can use capital letters, too.)

I totally agree with your last paragraph. My husband who was a vegetarian for most of his life, exercise regularly, surfed, took a tree from the forest to a piece of furniture still got cancer when he was only 59 years old. He had multiple myeloma which is caused by radiation/pesticides/herbicides. He was reared near Maralinga in South Australia and was dusted with radiation in the 1950s. He also worked on farms where pesticides/herbicides rained down for two to three hours a day. However; clearly he was not responsible for government choices.

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@onlythetruth, what was your point of joining and posting that? If you were truly trying to help people prevent cancer then you will accept the advice that you went around this in a terrible way. All you did was turn people off from wanting to look at your information. 

If you were here to smugly blame people for getting cancer and to come off as completely sanctimonious, well you succeeded.

I became vegan and cut out  most processed food because of health problems and I don't want to even listen to you! I can promise you that if I went into every single thread here about health issues and gave people lectures on diet and exercise every single fucking person here would hate me. And rightly so. 

 

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A healthy diet and lifestyle is no guarantee against cancer. My cousin ate healthy, didn't drink or smoke, and exercised. She died of breast cancer when she was 38. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for living healthy. It does decrease the risk of cancer and other diseases. But, it's no guarantee.

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I had a coworker who at 30 was experiencing a healthy pregnancy with appropriate medical oversight.  Prior to that she had been at an average weight, belonged to a gym, and had every reason to believe she was in good health and not doing anything to jeopardize it.  She had her baby in January of 2018.  Five months later she was diagnosed with cancer. She died in February 2019 when she was 32 and her son was 13 months old. I’d be happy to have someone identify what she (or anyone else) could have done to prevent it. 

Edited by catlady
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I'm really conflicted here. I feel so badly for Andrea's family that this happened. I feel badly that she didn't get to live. I then feel absolutely sick about their views on Sandy Hook and probably everything else and feel horrified they are shaping the minds of NINE children. Andrea and Tom are what is wrong with America. I don't care about your Jesus myth/fairy tale/story built upon ancient hero stories that keep getting recycled and I don't want it running my country. 

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27 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I'm really conflicted here. I feel so badly for Andrea's family that this happened. I feel badly that she didn't get to live. I then feel absolutely sick about their views on Sandy Hook and probably everything else and feel horrified they are shaping the minds of NINE children. Andrea and Tom are what is wrong with America. I don't care about your Jesus myth/fairy tale/story built upon ancient hero stories that keep getting recycled and I don't want it running my country. 

I feel this way. What happened was terrible sad, but we can also acknowledge that she not only wasn't a particularly good person, she wasn't exactly mother of the year either. She was a person who looked at grieving parents and called them liars. She loved finding conspiracy theories, not matter how far fetched, to fuel her hatred.

So I don't think it is conflicting to have compassion over her dying so young while also acknowledging that while she lived she wasn't a nice or good person. 

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I hope you get your head out of your ass long enough to go fuck yourself, '@onlythetruth "

No one on here is bashing preventative medicine or advocating no one follow a healthy lifestyle. Most of the people who are still on this thread and sharing have been talking about people they lost extremely young. Acting like they deserved it for not following whatever lifestyle you seem to believe is 100% cancer preventing is incredibly, horribly cruel. The Mills kids aren't our intended audience but they may end up reading our words. The FJ posters who have chosen to share their own grief certainly are. Words can wound deeply, and rubbing salt into someone's grief is just... Horrible. I hope you listen to what others have said and take it to heart. 

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4 hours ago, catlady said:

I had a coworker who at 30 was experiencing a healthy pregnancy with appropriate medical oversight.  Prior to that she had been at an average weight, belonged to a gym, and had every reason to believe she was in good health and not doing anything to jeopardize it.  She had her baby in January of 2018.  Five months later she was diagnosed with cancer. She died in February 2019 when she was 32 and her son was 13 months old. I’d be happy to have someone identify what she (or anyone else) could have done to prevent it. 

How sad for your co-worker and her family.  I'm 61 and have known a lot of people who have been touched by cancer or died of it.  None of the people I know who died were taking risks with their health.  They lived healthy lives, exercised, had preventative care, and didn't drink excessively, smoke, or do drugs.  That hideous disease can strike out of no where and no one seems to be immune. I worked with a woman who died of mesothelioma last year who had been healthy and fit all her life with no risk factors for that disease. I choose to eat healthily (most of the time :)) and exercise because these things make me feel better, not because I think I'm immune to tragic illness.   There are no guarantees unfortunately.

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Anyone who thinks that there is any magic diet, exercise regime, meditation practice, or any other lifestyle modification that will 100% prevent cancer or other serious illness is fucking delusional.

Healthy people get sick. Responsible people get sick. Some smokers live into their 90s.

Good health is not a reward for right choices and disease or death are not punishments for wrong choices. Yes, we can make choices that *affect* us. No, we cannot make choices that *protect* us.

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10 hours ago, formergothardite said:

@onlythetruth, what was your point of joining and posting that? If you were truly trying to help people prevent cancer then you will accept the advice that you went around this in a terrible way. All you did was turn people off from wanting to look at your information. 

If you were here to smugly blame people for getting cancer and to come off as completely sanctimonious, well you succeeded.

I became vegan and cut out  most processed food because of health problems and I don't want to even listen to you! I can promise you that if I went into every single thread here about health issues and gave people lectures on diet and exercise every single fucking person here would hate me. And rightly so. 

 

It amazes me how people add their own feelings to the written word by reading between the lines. I simply shared information. Information has no feelings and therefore lacks any judgement. 

Now I will present my truth which lacks any sediment. I had to become humble in order to change my lifestyle. I was 35 kilos overweight - not sure what that is in pounds. This was due to grief and losing my husband. I did not care what I ate and eat down my grief. I was not feeling well so I went to the doctors and he ran blood tests - I would normally have a ten thousand kilometre blood test every year. I let that go and simply did not care. The blood tests revealed I had a fatty liver - which causes cirrhosis of the liver and can lead to cancer. My cholesterol was very high which can cause heart problems. My blood pressure was high. My kidney function was abnormal and my sugar levels were also high. My doctor was concerned I had sugar diabetes so I had to sit a glucose test. I told her I was going to become vegan - I was a vegetarian for most of my life till my husband died. I cooked meat for my son and simply eat what he ate. We waited three months and retested. I was on the right track. At the nine month mark I had lost 30 kilos and my blood work was normal. 

Why did I bother? I am a mother of adult children and one with multiple disabilities. I loved them enough to live and take care of my son and help with grandchildren. To do otherwise would have been selfish and unloving. I am 65 years old and I know I will eventually die. However; I am determined to die of old age and not of disease. If disease eventuates then I have no regrets as I did all I could to prevent disease. My children will be left with the keen discernment that I did all I could to live healthy.

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I have read the comments left on my posts and have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what we eat because we all will still die. That means we are free to eat as much sugar as we want, smoke and become alcoholics because according the Tom god we still will die. It seems that Mr Mills has many followers who bow to his informed ideas. I will leave it here as it is obvious none of you want to hear from the devil.

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14 hours ago, onlythetruth said:

Do your research into what causes inflammatory breast cancer and what we can do to afford getting it.

So, I did that. And this is what I found, on the Mayo Clinic website. The Mayo Clinic is highly respected in the United States.

Quote

It's not clear what causes inflammatory breast cancer.

Doctors know that inflammatory breast cancer begins with an abnormal cell in one of the breast's ducts. Mutations within the abnormal cell's DNA instruct it to grow and divide rapidly. The accumulating abnormal cells infiltrate and clog the lymphatic vessels in the skin of your breast. The blockage in the lymphatic vessels causes red, swollen and dimpled skin — a classic sign of inflammatory breast cancer.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/inflammatory-breast-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20355413

Maybe I'm missing something here, but wasn't it established that Andrea's mother died of the same, quite rare, cancer? I don't think you need to be Sherlock Jesus Holmes to attribute this to genetic factors.

Edited by ViolaSebastian
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22 minutes ago, onlythetruth said:

I will leave it here as it is obvious none of you want to hear from the devil.

Are you usually this dramatic?  

Leave or stay, that's your choice, but know this- most people aren't going to respond well to your approach.  

Andrea Mills had 9 children, and a cancer that she likely inherited from her mother.  Did you catch the part where doctors are advising Tom to have genetic testing done on all of their daughters?  Yeah.

This isn't the time to grandstand about all the marvelous ways you're preventing cancer.  Get over yourself.  This is a fucking tragedy, and was likely going to happen no matter what choices she made in life.  My god...



 

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I haven't clicked on the links provided by @onlythetruth but I'm a scientist and my bet is the link is crap. People like you don't understand probability. Eating healthy reduces the probability you'll get sick but your risk is never zero.

The other thing is cancer is a mindfuck of guilt. My mom got breast cancer and wracked her brain trying to figure out what she did wrong. She breastfed and lost a bunch of weight and she still got it. It took her a long time to accept that she didn't necessarily do anything wrong.

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Just now, PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea said:

The other thing is cancer is a mindfuck of guilt. My mom got breast cancer and wracked her brain trying to figure out what she did wrong. 

In 2016, my mother was diagnosed with stage 1A lung cancer and had to undergo surgery to remove part of her lung. My mother was a long-term smoker, having quit when she was in her 40s, but picking up the habit now and again when things got stressful in her life. She really did try to quit, but as most of us understand, cigarettes are an incredibly difficult habit to break. She tore herself apart when she got lung cancer. She felt so incredibly guilty, referred to her thinking that her boyfriend thought she was "damaged goods"*, and would just absolutely wallow in self-hatred for what she'd done to herself. It was completely heartbreaking to watch. However, she started smoking when she was 11 years old, in 1963. She was a child, in every sense of the word, who got addicted to smoking LONG before the truth came out about cigarette smoking and Big Tobacco. (For comparison, when my niece was 11, she still believed in Santa Claus). She also grew up in a state (Kentucky) where it's your patriotic duty to smoke tobacco. She eventually went to therapy because she was moralizing her disease so badly that it damaged her mental health. The kicker of it all is that a year later, she had her home tested for radon--which turned out to be three times the recommended level. No one can say if it was the cigarette smoking or the radon**, but to see the way that she tore herself apart about her behavior was almost more than I could handle. She was sick and deserved sympathy, love, and support, whether or not she "did it to herself" and "didn't take proper steps to prevent cancer." And that's where I stand. Even if people didn't take preventative measures, for ANY disease, they still deserve sympathy, love, and support for what they're going through. 

Moralizing diseases can be so, so incredibly damaging to people. No one sets out thinking "I really want to get cancer" and "I really want to get heart disease." Most of us are doing the absolute best we can with the habits we've developed and the lifestyle we can afford. It's incredibly difficult to change health habits--yes, people do it, but it's hard. 

In any case, @Koala is spot on. This is a tragedy that likely would have happened despite lifestyle choices. 

*Just an FYI, he most certainly did not and was incredibly supportive throughout her recovery. He loves her very much.

**And studies show that the two play off of each other, making the impact of exposure to both of them worse than if it had just been one or the other.

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3 hours ago, VVV said:

Some smokers live into their 90s.

My mother was one of these. She died last year at 91.  Mom smoked non-filter cigarettes most of her life (Pall Mall was her brand), and never developed cancer anywhere, or any lung diseases or breathing disorders. Smoking did not kill her.  Sometimes I regret not donating her body to science. All of her deceased siblings lived into their 90's with no particular attention given to living "healthy". The one remaining sibling is 91 and was an alcoholic into her sixties. 

My two brothers, despite our mother's longevity, both died in their forties of relatively rare conditions. I am diabetic and also have a heart condition, of idiopathic orgin. They could never find a cause for the heart condition. I am mindful of the impact of my actions on my blood sugar and make reasonable efforts to manage what I can relative to my health, taking all prescribed medication and keeping regular doctor visits. But I know that absolutely nothing guarantees health or longevity. Too many variables at play, and in life, shit just happens. 

Edited by SilverBeach
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3 hours ago, onlythetruth said:

Now I will present my truth which lacks any sediment.

Sediment or sentiment?  Are you perhaps writing in a second language? 

And my sincere condolences on your losses.

I would like to give you the benefit of the doubt because what you are saying is as weird as hell.  And as victim blaming as hell.  And as not understanding of gene mutations as hell.  

Because genetic mutations exist.  And blameless healthy living types can get walloped by their genetic inheritance.  

3 hours ago, onlythetruth said:

That means we are free to eat as much sugar as we want, smoke and become alcoholics because according the Tom god we still will die. It seems that Mr Mills has many followers who bow to his informed ideas. I will leave it here as it is obvious none of you want to hear from the devil.

 Um, no.  No-one is saying that.   I don't agree with the  "Tom god."  In any way shape or form.

And I don't believe you are the devil.  I do think you have something of a mental block on all of this.

Or am I being suckered yet again. 

Perhaps we need the carpet cleaner.  Dammit! I keep telling TPTB on FJ that we should switch to tile.

 

Edited by Palimpsest
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2 hours ago, onlythetruth said:

t amazes me how people add their own feelings to the written word by reading between the lines. I simply shared information. Information has no feelings and therefore lacks any judgement. 

There is a time and a place to present that sort of information. The way you did it did express feelings. And saying mothers who don't eat healthy are selfish? Judgy as hell. 

2 hours ago, onlythetruth said:

I was not feeling well so I went to the doctors and he ran blood tests - I would normally have a ten thousand kilometre blood test every year. I let that go and simply did not care. The blood tests revealed I had a fatty liver - which causes cirrhosis of the liver and can lead to cancer. My cholesterol was very high which can cause heart problems. My blood pressure was high. My kidney function was abnormal and my sugar levels were also high. My doctor was concerned I had sugar diabetes so I had to sit a glucose test. I told her I was going to become vegan - I was a vegetarian for most of my life till my husband died. I cooked meat for my son and simply eat what he ate. We waited three months and retested. I was on the right track. At the nine month mark I had lost 30 kilos and my blood work was normal. 

I would like you to step back and acknowledge your privilege. You can go to the doctor and get those tests done. You can become vegan.  There are so many people who can't do that.In America, a single mother working several jobs and juggling trying to get her child with special needs to therapy and doctor's appointments,  she has no health care, she barely is making enough to survive. What is your suggestion? She isn't privileged like you, she can't just go to the doctor and just become vegan. Many people don't have access to affordable fruits and veggies.  And it seems like you would look down on her because she doesn't have the opportunities that you have.  

I would suggest step back from the judgment and try and see from another point of view. Especially how your posts came across. I am all for people making healthy lifestyle changes, but lifestyle changes weren't really relevant to this discussion and only came off as if you were trying to claim Andrea caused her own cancer. 

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18 minutes ago, mollysmom said:

What are the chances that @onlythetruth and @Jody are the same people? 2 ridiculous trolls, very similar to each other both in the same week. Wtf is wrong with these people? 

I actually thought this too. 

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