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fundiefollower

Andrea Mills of YouTube infamy Had Cancer and Died

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luv2laugh
Posted (edited)
36 minutes ago, Timetraveler said:

Hopefully this does not sound disrespectful, but Andrea's disease has been a huge wake up call for me. I have just reapplied for my second Master's degree; I only need to wrap up one final course to get my degree, I have already completed my internships and all the other courses for this Master's, but I was too embarrassed to re-enroll at first, because at 28 years old I was feeling too old to re-enroll and felt I should have completed it 2 years ago (I was not able to due to a variety of circumstances). 

We should never take anything for granted or become afraid of starting over/giving yourself a second chance.

You’re never, ever too old to go back to  school!!!! Hugs to you. I might be going to grad school in two years myself and I’ll be 28 or 29 by then.

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

I agree. I hope this is just him not thinking clearly right now and that he will remove these videos in the future so that only the children can see them. There was one child who was obviously trying to hide his face when the video turned to him.

I saw that too. I’m giving Tom a pass because I don’t think he’s in the right frame of mind. Tom keeps using YouTube as a way to cope and have an outlet to talk with Andrea’s following because he is in shock and denial over how this cancer monster is completely taking his wife. 

Edited by luv2laugh

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Caroline
1 hour ago, FluffySnowball said:

I don’t know the Mills fam and don’t mean to defend her husband in any way. However, I’m thinking that in a situation like this, I might not act very rational either. Thank God I never had to go through anything similar to this, but if a dearly loved one were to die so young and so unexpectedly, I’m not sure I wouldn’t make a scene and have a public meltdown in the hospital or hospice. So him asking her to wake up or to say something to the cancer could very well be born in a lack of rationality and the desperate desire to hear her speak, being alive and well.  

Also, the poor guy looks absolutely physically exhausted.  I do not think rationally at all when I am that tired.  I can't judge anyone in this horrible situation and wouldn't wish this on the most evil person on earth.  It's just incredible that he can go on at all IMO.

1 hour ago, sableduck said:

I am a paramedic.  I have seen so many strange things from grieving people, especially when it’s sudden grief like this, that I don’t even blink anymore.  Filming deaths and tragedies is more common than you can imagine, and irritating to the health care workers.  I hate it when someone is filming us loading their loved one into the ambulance, but I am not going to tell people how to cope, either.

Hopefully when things settle down and he is back in a right state of mind, he will take some of these videos down.

They have made literally every aspect of their lives public, so this is a very natural reaction for him I would guess.  It wouldn't be my choice but I understand why he feels compelled to capture it this way.

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Queen Of Hearts

No updates for the last 9 hours.  Knowing the end goal was to be able to move Andrea 'home' this afternoon the fact that there has been no update is not looking promising.  Hope I am wrong.  With that being Andrea's final wish, I hope they are able to achieve it for her - if nothing else than to give her family the peace of knowing they were able to make it happen for her.  If not, I hope that knowing they were all able to be physically by her side will give them comfort.  I have faith that Tom and family will respect the medical providers' opinions on what the best course of action is to keep Andrea as comfortable as possible and not do anything that would harm her just to be able to say she died in her home.

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formergothardite
1 hour ago, sableduck said:

I am a paramedic.  I have seen so many strange things from grieving people, especially when it’s sudden grief like this, that I don’t even blink anymore.  Filming deaths and tragedies is more common than you can imagine, and irritating to the health care workers.  I hate it when someone is filming us loading their loved one into the ambulance, but I am not going to tell people how to cope, either.

Hopefully when things settle down and he is back in a right state of mind, he will take some of these videos down.

I wonder if using a camera to film is a way for people to distance themselves from the horror that is taking place right in front of them. I think that the father here is almost certainly in complete shock and is doing what they always do and film, but it does make me uncomfortable to watch the videos.  I am not going to judge him right now for putting them up, but I do hope he will take them down at some point. 

1 hour ago, fundiefollower said:

I always found her vey calming to listen to while I work.  I admire how they are a "live and let live" family.  Clearly they have views that are different than the vast majority of people in general, and even than that of their viewers.  Their was no condemnation like other fundies who are snarked on here.

I don't think this thread needs to turn into all the terrible things about this family, but I also don't think it does any good to pretend she was a better person than she actually was. Andrea, as tragic as it is that she is dying, was not exactly a nice person. She spouted nasty things about the Sandy Hook parents. She was all into all the conspiracy theories about Obama faking mass shootings to take guns.  She was a 9/11 denier. One of her videos we discussed initially was removed from YouTube because it was so vile it violated the terms of services.  Her husband made things more private after we started discussing things but his FB page initially showed they were die-hard Trumpers who despised everyone who didn't fit into their narrow box of beliefs. 

What is happening to her is awful and no family should go through this, but she wasn't some kind, harmless person who was all live and let live. 

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fundiefollower
12 minutes ago, Caroline said:

Also, the poor guy looks absolutely physically exhausted.  I do not think rationally at all when I am that tired.  I can't judge anyone in this horrible situation and wouldn't wish this on the most evil person on earth.  It's just incredible that he can go on at all IMO.

They have made literally every aspect of their lives public, so this is a very natural reaction for him I would guess.  It wouldn't be my choice but I understand why he feels compelled to capture it this way.

He kept saying he found comfort in just talking and having something to do.  I can understand that.  He was able to let the thoughts racing in his mind out.  I felt it was just his way of coping.  It was hard to watch.  I did appreciate that he kept the video of the kids there very short.  I doubt they felt the camera was intrusive though, it is such a part of their lives.  Judah standing there patting her head was very sweet. Listening to the sounds she made was very hard to hear. 

I am just re-watching the videos she posted last month from their road trip to OK..... how quickly things change. 

In April my sister-in-law's sister had a heart attack at age 41.  It was a wake up for me.  She is much more physically well appearing than me and she had a heart attack.  It inspired me to join Weight Watchers and finally tackle my weight issue so that I have a better chance of being here for MANY more years for my family.  This latest turn in the Mills family has caused me to hold my family tighter and appreciate all we have, which Andrea would love.

She mentions back pain and some stomach issues in the video but I'm sure that being about 8 weeks pregnant she thought it was related to that.  Who knows if seeking help earlier would have helped her case at all.  She looked well in the videos.

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SIngingforsupper

Tom is doing his very best. Imagine being alone in a strange city, losing a baby, then being told you are going to lose your wife. Of course he is a wreck. If youtube helps him get through so be it. She really was the center of their household this is a huge loss for them. 

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Giraffe

I find it terrifying how quickly health can change. I have no familiarity with them outside of this thread but I wish the family the best and I hope this becomes the impetus to transition to a less fj-snark-tastic life in the years to come. 

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Jingerale

I saw this posted on another forum, it's apparently from a family member. 

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Dandruff
1 minute ago, Caroline said:

Also, the poor guy looks absolutely physically exhausted.  I do not think rationally at all when I am that tired.  I can't judge anyone in this horrible situation and wouldn't wish this on the most evil person on earth.  It's just incredible that he can go on at all IMO.

I'm guessing he hasn't slept, or slept much, in days and feels responsible to do things right for Andrea, the kids, and those who are watching and praying for them.  I'm disturbed by his trying to get Andrea to speak while in such pain and sense that the videos are becoming a bit more performance than documentation.  My assumption is that this is the result of exhaustion and him trying to focus on the needs of too many people at once.  He's had to coordinate a multitude of details, it sounds like people have been trying to contact him nonstop, and he has to keep himself collected enough to keep juggling.  He also just lost a child.  He might not want to to sleep in case she dies.

16 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I don't think this thread needs to turn into all the terrible things about this family, but I also don't think it does any good to pretend she was a better person than she actually was. Andrea, as tragic as it is that she is dying, was not exactly a nice person. She spouted nasty things about the Sandy Hook parents. She was all into all the conspiracy theories about Obama faking mass shootings to take guns.  She was a 9/11 denier. One of her videos we discussed initially was removed from YouTube because it was so vile it violated the terms of services.  Her husband made things more private after we started discussing things but his FB page initially showed they were die-hard Trumpers who despised everyone who didn't fit into their narrow box of beliefs.

I wouldn't give either of them a pass for any of that stuff.  It's just not what's going on right now (hopefully).  I'm finding myself simultaneously wishing the kids well and hoping they'll grow up non-toxic.

 

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RosyDaisy

According to a post and a comment on Andrea's FB, she has passed away.

 

 

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fundiefollower

Live video just announced she has passed away.

I believe she was joyously welcomed to heaven by baby Cyrus, her mom, and Jesus.  May she rest in peace.

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HarryPotterFan

I can’t imagine what it is like to expect a new baby/sibling, and then lose the baby and wife/mother. Going from such joy to devastation. 

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Glasgowghirl

Horrible news thoughts with the family, I too have no issue with Tom uploading videos if it is comforting to him at this moment. I too worry about people hijacking her death, while people mean well, I find especially with social media people who use other people's tragedy's for attention. 

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luv2laugh
Posted (edited)

I am crying. I think he kept hoping she would make it and was in a bit of denial until now. The look on his face is one of pure shock, defeat, and exhaustion. 

The older brothers are doing an amazing job of cuddling the little ones just after losing their own mother. 

I hope someone lets Tom know that it’s ok to put the kids in public school and that he’s not expected to do it all and neither are the older kids. They can’t. He just can’t. He will have to accept that it is OK to ask for help outside of home.

Fuck cancer.

Edited by luv2laugh

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Dandruff

Sounds like Tom is planning to have a public funeral.  Probably not a day trip for most YouTubers.

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Petronella
1 hour ago, fundiefollower said:

I did appreciate that he kept the video of the kids there very short.

I'm glad to hear that. There is a lot of support here for however Tom needs to cope, but the kids will have their own individual needs. Grieving on camera may not be theirs, and I hope their privacy and individualities are continually respected at this difficult time.

How sad this all is.

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JermajestyDuggar

That is tragic news. I’m so sad for her children. 

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Tired
FecundFundieFundus

CONTENT WARNING: if you watch their video "going home" they do show Andrea's body at the very end. 

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DutchGirl

I am so sorry for her children loosing their mom. The younger one or two are not even old enough to have a real memory of her.

Someone already mentioned granma Fern, how has lost her daughter (Andrea's mom) and now her granddaugter. I am sorry for her to.

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luv2laugh
Posted (edited)
17 minutes ago, FecundFundieFundus said:

CONTENT WARNING: if you watch their video "going home" they do show Andrea's body at the very end. 

I did see that. It was hard to watch. I feel depressed.

Edited by luv2laugh

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anjulibai

Those poor kids. 

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FecundFundieFundus
14 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

I did see that. It was hard to watch. I feel depressed.

Yes, all the videos of her in the past few days have been very difficult to see. It's triggered a lot of memories and emotions from seeing my own mom dying in hospice. Obviously he's not in any state to consider the audience, but I do wish he had given a word of warning that he was going to show her if anyone wanted to say goodbye or whatever.

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Jana814

So sad that she passed away. Those poor kids. 

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Escadora
1 hour ago, FecundFundieFundus said:

CONTENT WARNING: if you watch their video "going home" they do show Andrea's body at the very end. 

Thank you for this, I appreciate that warning so much. I've been deliberately not watching since they boarded the plane because I hit my limit, and now I'm tapping out of the thread and the watching altogether.

Guys, please forgive me for projecting or maybe having come across on this thread as taking it way too personally, but it's hit quite close to home. As I mentioned earlier, a member of my family is losing their battle with cancer, has been for a few months now, and it was like watching what we've been through already, but just sped up by an insane amount. I know what's going to happen very soon, and I don't want to burn myself out mourning-wise on someone who I didn't know personally. Especially so close to the start of the semester. It's just a lot, and I'm deeply sorry for all those who can relate.

I'm glad she got to see her kids and other family, and that they got to see her too. It must have been so difficult for all involved, and I hope their healing can begin soon.

I'd just like, also, to echo @formergothardite, because it's such an important point to have been made. Andrea was never someone whose content I 100% agreed with and supported (in fact, I really despised a fair amount of what she put out there), and she had a lot of shitty beliefs and her death doesn't change that. I think it's entirely possible to respectfully acknowledge the tragedy of her passing without absolving her of damages she has caused, and that's important - I believe, anyway - on this forum. 

Still, my heart breaks for her kids, and for her family, and for anyone reading this who's in the process of caring for someone with a terminal illness. Also for those who themselves are ill. Sometimes life and death are painful and just really suck. I have no better words.

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