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Andrea Mills of YouTube infamy Had Cancer and Died


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3 minutes ago, under siege said:

That is Tom who had a daughter in his early twenties. Tom is not a RSO that I am aware of.
The person mentioned about is not Tom. It's Papy Gary (the one I referred to as creepy grandpa)

Apologies, I got confused! 

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I think Youtube viewers sent a lot of gifts to the Mills kids. Too bad they couldn't send a bigger house or a brain to either parent.

I saw something Andrea had posted about defending her families' nutrition choices (y'know the mountain dew and little debbie cakes in 2019.) I was just thinking yeah, you guys have it all figured out and that's why you and Tom are both the picture of health. Please. The diabetes and obesity your body is experiencing isn't real bc God (in a made up book based on a recycled hero myth) did not mention it.  I feel so damn badly for these kids. 

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This has probably been discussed previously and I missed it but anyone think maybe Creepy Grandpa is who Andrea is talking about in this comment?

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I think her childhood abuser was someone else. She would have been an adult in 1998 (though not necessarily outside the statute of limitations) and I hope she would have forbidden her abuser access to her own kids. 

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Their "fans" kind of creep me the fuck out.  Some of these people talk to them like they know them.  I would find that very unsettling.  

And the gifts. SO much candy, and (honestly) pure junk.  They have such a tiny space...I can not imagine where they are storing all of these "gifts".  One of the tricks to living in a small space is being ruthless about decluttering.  Every package they open makes me want to suggest an industrial size dumpster to throw it all in.  

Several people have mentioned the overwhelming amount of sweets, and I gotta say, ITA.  It's just way too much.  One of the little ones was drinking Mt. Dew out of a sippy cup.  Being that they don't see a dentist, I can't help but wonder how their teeth fare.  I could see them not being brushed as often as needed, especially now that the main parents are teenagers.  

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Yeah the mountain dew in the sippy cup was a bit much for me. Mainly because, by their own admission, that is not a rare occurrence. (Wow. I had to google how to spell that last word! I pride myself in my spelling but that one had me stumped! Thank you google! ?)

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I'm hoping that the novelty of 'audience participation' for their game nights wears off soon. 
There's enough evasion of those kids lives as it is but to now have the audience take the place of Andrea is, in IMO, going too far.  This is not healthy for Tom either, his dependency on strangers is worrisome.
Tom's focus on youtube content and fans are continuing to be a concern.  He has this massive void in his life and he's trying to fill it with youtube. This is not continuing with the channel in the way Andrea has set it up to be. It's not honouring her legacy. 

I just wish someone close to him could tell him to ease up on the Youtube thing. If he truly has friends around him then time with them would be far healthier than time with thousands of strangers, not all who would be as wholesome and god-fearing as Tom may be deluding himself to be. 
 

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2 hours ago, under siege said:

I'm hoping that the novelty of 'audience participation' for their game nights wears off soon. 
There's enough evasion of those kids lives as it is but to now have the audience take the place of Andrea is, in IMO, going too far.  This is not healthy for Tom either, his dependency on strangers is worrisome.
Tom's focus on youtube content and fans are continuing to be a concern.  He has this massive void in his life and he's trying to fill it with youtube. This is not continuing with the channel in the way Andrea has set it up to be. It's not honouring her legacy. 

I just wish someone close to him could tell him to ease up on the Youtube thing. If he truly has friends around him then time with them would be far healthier than time with thousands of strangers, not all who would be as wholesome and god-fearing as Tom may be deluding himself to be. 
 

Oops - invasion not evasion,

Evasion is an action Tom needs to learn in relation to Youtube,

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7 hours ago, under siege said:

I'm hoping that the novelty of 'audience participation' for their game nights wears off soon. 
There's enough evasion of those kids lives as it is but to now have the audience take the place of Andrea is, in IMO, going too far.  This is not healthy for Tom either, his dependency on strangers is worrisome.
Tom's focus on youtube content and fans are continuing to be a concern.  He has this massive void in his life and he's trying to fill it with youtube. This is not continuing with the channel in the way Andrea has set it up to be. It's not honouring her legacy. 

I just wish someone close to him could tell him to ease up on the Youtube thing. If he truly has friends around him then time with them would be far healthier than time with thousands of strangers, not all who would be as wholesome and god-fearing as Tom may be deluding himself to be. 
 

Also, Tom simply does not make lovely videos like Andrea did.  She had a way with seeing her world through her camera and with editing.  Tom's attempts to portray his family are rather sad.

While my own life and family life are totally different from the Mills', I did use Andrea's long, soothing videos to help me relax before bedtime, but Tom's, not so much at all!

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Tom needs a wife.  From day one he has talked about his personal loneliness while surrounded by his children,  family and friends.  I can't imagine any woman taking on those children and that tiny house.  Anyone his age would most likely have children of their own and anyone much younger would want to have children.  Both sound like a disaster for the Mills children and that small home. 

I don't know who his fan Rachel is but he's definitely relying on her quite a bit. 

I don't think he uses his kids for live stream monitors.  He talks about various fans that help monitor.

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On 9/19/2019 at 11:48 AM, formergothardite said:

Yes, buried in all their rules and regulations there is a sentence that mentions that any money raised for a medical event must be reported and the amount will be applied to the shareable amount to reduce the amount they can share. 

Since I don't think he specified it was just for medical bills Tom might get around reporting it to lower the amount they will cover. 

Tom may have some wiggle room.  He said the GFM was for "Accidents & Emergencies" but then used some of the money to settle Andrea's medical bills to get a 30% discount.  That could be allowed.  IDK.  

BTW, the GFM is still getting money trickling in.  It is at $67,250 today,  I wonder whether Tom feels a tiny bit guilty about the women in the comments saying things like this:

 $5 donation.  "Sorry I don’t have a lot to give but as soon as I am able to I will donate more to help your lovely family. "

$20 donation, "God will take care of me and you too. I am cheap because I owe medical bills myself. Please excuse the low amount., Tom. Love and respect."

Perhaps it is time to close the GFM, Tommy, or you look greedy.  People already know how to send you cash and gifts as your PO Box # is widely published.

On 9/19/2019 at 1:44 PM, Queen Of Hearts said:

I think Scamaritan is image-savvy enough to not mess with the Mills' coverage.  They aren't about to piss off a social media influencer whose primary audience is the type of people Scamaritan tries to target as customers.  I'm actually skeptical enough to wonder if they always send gifts, or if this was something special that was done hoping for some free publicity. 

Perhaps you should look into how Scamaritan works more. This wasn't something that was special for the Mills family.  One of Scamaritan's marketing ploys is the cards and prayers sent to their subscribers.  Also the subscribers who chose to "share" the medical bills are asked to send cards, letters, and prayers as well as money to fill the medical need.

As far as being "image-savvy" enough to avoid pissing off a social media influencer, I don't think the Millses can really count as that.  The subscriber list got a huge boost when Andrea died, but she had a limited appeal.  And it would be beyond corrupt to change the rules and favor so-called "social influencers" anyway.  

The Millses are not your typical Fundie, and even many people who liked Andrea's manner did not necessarily like her beliefs.   Also the more Tom publicises their life-style on youtube, and the money and gifts pouring in, the less it looks as though the Mills family "practice good health measures in accordance with the principle that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit" as required by Scamaritan. 

I can see people like the Maxwells and their followers (both Nathan and Christopher have been used to advertise Scamaritan) being horrified at being told to send their monthly contribution to people like the Millses.  They would count as preachers and practitioners of false doctrine!!!!  Other subscribers could balk at sending in their checks or ask that the Mills's bills be prorated in favor of other families.  Yes, that is in the fine print too.

On 9/23/2019 at 11:34 PM, Koala said:

Their "fans" kind of creep me the fuck out.  Some of these people talk to them like they know them.  I would find that very unsettling.  

And the gifts. SO much candy, and (honestly) pure junk.  They have such a tiny space...I can not imagine where they are storing all of these "gifts".  One of the tricks to living in a small space is being ruthless about decluttering.  Every package they open makes me want to suggest an industrial size dumpster to throw it all in.  

I totally agree.  And these repeated videos of them opening the latest pile of packaged loot are making me quite nauseous.  Candy and gifts will not fill the gaping hole in the family left by Andrea. And where are they putting all that stuff!

The youtube followers are not friends.  Whatever happened to not taking candy from strangers? They are almost competing to send things to the children and Tom is encouraging it.

IMO, he's officially falling into Unashamed Fundie Grifting territory now.  It is strange how that happens.  First he says he has enough money then he mentions extra needs.  He could tell people that they have enough and that other people may need donations more ... but no.  It is looking greedy.

I fear he'll be grifting for a plane he doesn't know how to fly, a new RV, and enough money to buy a spanky new office building soon.

Edited by Palimpsest
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An office building would significantly improve the lives of his kids. They could stop sleeping prison style. That room tour makes me claustrophobic. 

I feel like most of the fundies I know about go SEVERELY carb heavy and light on any fresh veg. Looking at you, tater tot casserole. Soda in sippy cups is a horrifying low though, I agree. I'm shit at meal planning and cooking but that's my hard limit- water only except for very special occasions. 

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I hate that they are raising their kids so poorly in education, safety and nutrition AND with the added bonus of fundie "christianity." It's a quadruple  whammy of awful.

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Tom streamed a live video tonight.  I missed the first part about their first day of homeschooling, but did catch the game night. I don't know why he doesn't put the little kids to bed so the older kids can play without tending to the fussy baby and noisy, chaotic preschoolers. Before the game they opened several boxes of candy and games sent by YouTube people. Solly are candy constantly.

Asher finally does put Hanna to bed and judging from the quickness of it, I think he just put her to bed in her clothes and maybe even a wet diaper.  For sure there was no brushing her teeth, even after an evening (whole day?) of candy.

No story or song or comfortable jammies.  Tom said she knew not to throw a fit at bedtime and just go to sleep but I was so sad for her.

Down in his office, near bedtime with his 9 kids playing in the next room, Tom goes live.  He emphatically stated that the kids would be homeschooled.  No matter what. Even though he agreed it would be easier to have them in school.

He talked about Andrea's life insurance again.  And the GoFundMe. He showed a picture Andrea had made of plans for a house addition.

At bedtime, Alexa told the kids to go bed, which they ignored.  Solomon, who seems to live on candy and pop, asked for candy before bed, and Tom said that's fine.

Again, no one to supervise teeth brushing, pajamas, no story, just go to bed.

Then Tom said how great his YouTube audience is and it's his therapy.  But his kids are fine and don't need therapy.

I realize now that I'm mixing up two different videos, but that's the jist of it.  Also, Thomas is barely working since the death.  He's running the house.

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Just now, louannems said:

At bedtime, Alexa told the kids to go bed, which they ignored.  Solomon, who seems to live on candy and pop, asked for candy before bed, and Tom said that's fine.

Again, no one to supervise teeth brushing, pajamas, no story, just go to bed.

Then Tom said how great his YouTube audience is and it's his therapy.  But his kids are fine and don't need therapy.

 

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 Further proof Tom has no idea how to parent. 

Thank you for the summary of the latest video(s).  I hovered over the "thoughts On The First Day Of School" but realised it was a live chat rather than a vlog.  I can't do 90minutes of Tom, especially when it is mostly about Tom.
How can he not see that if he has an outlet (albeit an unhealthy one) to express all his feelings, his grief, his thoughts etc, that it's okay but his kids don't need that as well? 
Keeping Thomas home rather than get him back to a working schedule is such a bad thing. Thomas needs to get back to a regular routine.  He needs to have time away from the house and family.  Yes, it will be hard, yes there will be a lot of people expressing their sympathies every day but not getting back into a routine, not facing people? It's not healthy and will not help him cope with life in the future. It also doesn't fair well for Asher and Judah who will both soon be at the point they need time away from the house even just for two-three hours a day.

All that candy!!  They have updated the Meal Train to request only their favourite meals be provided. Green beans and potatoes seem to be the only vegetables wanted. 
Very unhealthy eating habits that are being pandered to.  Even one healthy meal a week would be an improvement.
Image one full day of no soda, no candy, no high-carb dinner? Sadly Tom would never do it so there's no hope that the kids would either.

My concerns for that family continue to grow.

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On the last video, Tom talks so much about money that it gets into my nerves. He talks again about the flight costs and the hospital and exams costs, it's like he is asking for people to give more to be able to pay all those things. And the people's comments, omg the comments: get a pony, get a merry-go-round, get a van, get this and that… like getting stuff would ever replace the lack of the mother in the kid's lives... And talking about the links for the PayPal and the GFM... like he's still expecting for more... I was chocked… Andrea never asked for money (and people saying sorry for not being able to give more, really? wtf???). And every now and then he talks about his loneliness and getting someone, because "she knew I was going to do it" (like she gave him permission to do it after her death, so he doesn't feel guilty). He is also waiting for people to send him clothes for him and for the kids... how far will their fans go? And, yes, it's creepy the way that their fans talk with and about them, just like they know them personally. Like a woman said the her husband started crying when she said "Tom said" instead of "Andrea said" like her husband was used to hear.

I don't understand how Tom is not seeing that the kids need to grieve also, and to talk about it, to pour their feelings out. They are also in pain. Maybe they hide it because they know that their father is just like a big child, he couldn't take the pressure of seeing the real suffering of his kids.

There was a woman saying that she saw a "orb" around his head and that it was for sure Andrea next to him laughing… really??? The thing that people think that's an "orb" is nothing but a particle of dust or even a tiny insect in the light, it shines with the reflection, and that's it. How far can people go based on the pain of the others? I would never tell a grieving person something like that, it's not right.

Anyway, the kids are receiving too much candy and they are being allowed to eat the amount of candy as they desires says. Thomas already got a big belly just like his father, and he is still so young. This is due to the bad food habits and sedentarism, eating to much carbs and sugar, not enough healthy stuff...

The Tom videos are all about himself, he uses the word "I" all the time, and the viewers are not family or friends, he should hang with family and friends (if he has any, because it was just him and Andrea, besides the home-church people), that would be much better even for the kids. I find it hard to watch his videos, it gets stressing.

About the faith thing, why does he still wants to lecture people into his faith. Religion and believes is something very personal, we are free to believe in whatever we want (specially there, USA, the land of the free, the country with the most freedom, like all the other countries in the world live with dictatorship and have no freedom - irony. Most of the worlds countries have freedom, yes, and some of them even more of it that the US). Sorry for this little tantrum, lol

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6 hours ago, Giraffe said:

It keeps getting worse! The fact that the baby “knows” not to fuss breaks my heart! 

Exactly! Also, what does that imply? Do you guys know if the family is publicly known for endorsing corporal punishment? 

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Just now, Tekas_76 said:

On the last video, Tom talks so much about money that it gets into my nerves.

There was a woman saying that she saw a "orb" around his head and that it was for sure Andrea next to him laughing… really??? The thing that people think that's an "orb" is nothing but a particle of dust or even a tiny insect in the light, it shines with the reflection, and that's it. How far can people go based on the pain of the others? I would never tell a grieving person something like that, it's not right.

The Tom videos are all about himself, he uses the word "I" all the time, and the viewers are not family or friends, he should hang with family and friends (if he has any, because it was just him and Andrea, besides the home-church people), that would be much better even for the kids. I find it hard to watch his videos, it gets stressing.

About the faith thing, why does he still wants to lecture people into his faith.

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Tom has had this fixation on the money since setting up the GFM when Andrea was in hospital. At first, I thought it was just his way of coping with all the things he couldn't control. It's developed into a dangerous obsession.
I've mentioned it before, what the channel is becoming is not honouring Andrea's legacy. Andrea was not in favour of making it about money. Now it's about clothes as well?  If money wasn't an issue he should definitely NOT be asking strangers to clothe his children.

Tom has no idea how to parent. He's never had to. After nine children it shows how little he was involved in their upbringing, their day to day life.

As for the faith bs, he at least warned that it was going to be more 'churchy'. Check out his own channel. It's interesting to say the least.  At least Andrea kept the religion stuff to a minimum. Yes, some of the things she would say were questionable but she didn't preach so much once she realised her audience wasn't in favour of hearing her religious bs.

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My youngest "knows" not to fuss at bedtime, but still kicks up a ruckus when he doesn't feel good/can't sleep/is lonely/just doesn't want to go to bed because he's a human with feelings and desires. Cuddles then bed or cosleeping usually help him get to sleep okay. 

I knew not to fuss as a kid and taught myself to cry noiselessly so the grownups weren't bothered. To this day I can't ask for help from my spouse if something happens at night. 

Just let your kids cry and express themselves! Those kids are going to be twice traumatized- once by the death of a parent and again by how Tom is treating them. 

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Tom uploaded the livestream video from last night.  I missed the first half live so I watched it.

The main thing I kept hearing him say was Papa John and all the kids are just fine and only Tom's life is a nightmare.  He seems to think he is the only one who is grieving.

If only those kids had professional counseling, I'm sure Tom would then understand that his kids are most definitely not fine.  Just because they are quiet about Andrea does not mean that their lives are also not a nightmare.

Tom kept signing so heavily!  I know depression makes everything seem so much harder, but the sighs only reinforced that this I all about Tom.

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Do you think his mom has enough pull in his life to point out how this isn’t sustainable? Maybe after she has helped with the homeschooling for a few months? I don’t feel very hopeful about it unfortunately. 

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I'm just posting to say that while I have always liked this family and give them a lot of grace, I agree with most of the comments above. I think Tom is high on the fan attention and easy money. I don't think he is a bad guy, but he is definitely not handling his coping well.

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The baby knowing not to fuss struck me as tragic because I took it to mean the baby (Claudia??) already knows her needs aren’t going to be met and she’s given up even trying (by crying). I really hope I’m just adding my own impressions into it and that the reality is that she’s simply a mellow kid. 

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