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fundiefollower

Andrea Mills of YouTube infamy Had Cancer and Died

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under siege
6 hours ago, louannems said:

I've always had the impression that the Mill's family snack all day long. The kids help themselves to PBJ sandwiches whenever.  And Andrea always had her snack baskets overflowing with Lil Debbie's and other sweet junk.

It really irks me to watch this family on the Dinner With the Mills livestream.  NO ONE EATS!!! Everyone just barely picks at their food, and they mostly only eat the bread. Growing kids should be hungry at mealtime!

And I never see salad or even just cut up fresh veggies.  I know Tom says he doesn't eat rabbit food so I guess the growing kids don't get them either.

And even with their beautiful vegetable garden, I never see sauted, roasted, steamed or grilled vegetables on their dinner plates! Just a tiny dab of some processed carbs, then big slabs of bread, and milk.

 

With only one bathroom and all those people, and no fiber in their diets, how do they all poop in a timely manner?

That said, I did love Andrea's videos as they helped me relax at bedtime.  They were my bedtime stories and I will truely miss them.  It's going to be so different with Tom.

 

They have a 'meal train' set up so a lot of their evening meals are still being provided by people in their community. Most off their 'like' ideas are not healthy at all.  If you want to have a look it's listed as "Meal Train Plus forThe Mills Family" at mealtrain.com


Andrea used to dehydrate a lot of the homegrown vegetables to be used in soups and casseroles.  Her shopping was full of junk food which usually met with a lot of questions and criticism. Lots of kids = no time for baking or healthy snacks apparently. In the past year or so she made more of an effort to make homemade snacks including potato chips.  People have been showing genuine concern for the Mills diet for quite some time.

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Flossie
2 hours ago, under siege said:

They have a 'meal train' set up so a lot of their evening meals are still being provided by people in their community. Most off their 'like' ideas are not healthy at all.  If you want to have a look it's listed as "Meal Train Plus forThe Mills Family" at mealtrain.com

I was unable to find them on the site.  There isn't a search feature.

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louannems
8 hours ago, under siege said:

They have a 'meal train' set up so a lot of their evening meals are still being provided by people in their community. Most off their 'like' ideas are not healthy at all.  If you want to have a look it's listed as "Meal Train Plus forThe Mills Family" at mealtrain.com


Andrea used to dehydrate a lot of the homegrown vegetables to be used in soups and casseroles.  Her shopping was full of junk food which usually met with a lot of questions and criticism. Lots of kids = no time for baking or healthy snacks apparently. In the past year or so she made more of an effort to make homemade snacks including potato chips.  People have been showing genuine concern for the Mills diet for quite some time.

I think the meal train is a great thing!  Especially since it's been several weeks and it's still going.

I've watched most all of the videos over the past couple of years and my comments on their eating dinner was from watching all of the Live Dinners.  The kids never seem hungry which is why I suspect they snack a lot.  At least little Hanna grabs at her food hungrily!

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FreeFundiesKids

Mills Family went live at park. I only caught few seconds of the end of livestream. Saw Sophia cry 😢

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Koala

The recent string of videos leave me with a very uneasy feeling.  He is very dismissive of the idea that the kids are anything other than "fine", and almost seems annoyed by Claudia's confusion about the permanence of her mama's death.  

He will go all in telling you how awful it is for him.  Lord knows, I totally understand that...I can not even begin to imagine.  But I also can't imagine not realizing how very much Andrea's babies are hurting, too...

In the park video he declared that he knew he was an "awesome Dad", and said he wasn't worried about their education or running the house  (apparently, the kids can do that just fine).  He also mentioned instating "punishments" such as detentions or demerits if the kids don't finish their school work.  Apparently one of the boys is very concerned about his struggles with math and English- it's been mentioned in the last 2 videos.  Naturally, his worries are dismissed.  I guess they're just supposed to educate themselves, and accept whatever "punishment" is doled out if they fail at the impossible task set before them.  That should go well.

In the dinner video, I was shocked by how rude Tom was about the Meal Train.  Granted, I am southern.  Here, if someone cooks you a meal, you claim to love it no matter what it tastes like.  You may toss it in the trash the moment their back is turned, but when it's presented, you express gratitude that someone was kind enough to care.

Tom was very vocal about the fact that chicken casserole wasn't their "favorite", and kept mentioning that he "supplemented" with grilled cheese.  He also kept saying the toaster strudels were a hit.  

Well, yeah.  Of course the processed, sugary breakfast pastry is a hit, but the broc., corn, and chicken are actually nutritious.  Gah, the person was trying to provide a well rounded meal w/ a little bonus treat.  Be thankful, and stop complaining where they can hear you.

The Meal Train was mentioned again in the park video, with the complaint that it was causing a lot of stress or something...basically, because it's food they don't really like, and they are "picky".  He complained that he'd put Andrea's meal suggestion cards up, but I guess no one is doing that.  Seemed kind of frustrated.  

Here's the thing, though- no one is going to cook just like Andrea.  It's heartbreaking, I know.  I am sure they all miss the way things were, before all this food that they aren't used to was showing up on the table every night.  It's just another reminder that everything has changed.

That said, Tom says there's at least another month or 2 of Meal Train, and the obvious solution (imo) is to thank everyone for their concern, but express that in the interest of getting into a new routine, he will be preparing their dinners from now on, using Andrea's cards as prompts.  In fact, that would be something to do with the kids, while actually acknowledging their grief.  Let them pick a favorite meal that Andrea used to cook, and work on recreating it with them.  Or, maybe find some new things they'd like to try.  Anything, but teaching them to insult the kindness of others.
 

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louannems
16 minutes ago, Koala said:

The recent string of videos leave me with a very uneasy feeling.  He is very dismissive of the idea that the kids are anything other than "fine", and almost seems annoyed by Claudia's confusion about the permanence of her mama's death.  

He will go all in telling you how awful it is for him.  Lord knows, I totally understand that...I can not even begin to imagine.  But I also can't imagine not realizing how very much Andrea's babies are hurting, too...

In the park video he declared that he knew he was an "awesome Dad", and said he wasn't worried about their education or running the house  (apparently, the kids can do that just fine).  He also mentioned instating "punishments" such as detentions or demerits if the kids don't finish their school work.  Apparently one of the boys is very concerned about his struggles with math and English- it's been mentioned in the last 2 videos.  Naturally, his worries are dismissed.  I guess they're just supposed to educate themselves, and accept whatever "punishment" is doled out if they fail at the impossible task set before them.  That should go well.

In the dinner video, I was shocked by how rude Tom was about the Meal Train.  Granted, I am southern.  Here, if someone cooks you a meal, you claim to love it no matter what it tastes like.  You may toss it in the trash the moment their back is turned, but when it's presented, you express gratitude that someone was kind enough to care.

Tom was very vocal about the fact that chicken casserole wasn't their "favorite", and kept mentioning that he "supplemented" with grilled cheese.  He also kept saying the toaster strudels were a hit.  

Well, yeah.  Of course the processed, sugary breakfast pastry is a hit, but the broc., corn, and chicken are actually nutritious.  Gah, the person was trying to provide a well rounded meal w/ a little bonus treat.  Be thankful, and stop complaining where they can hear you.

The Meal Train was mentioned again in the park video, with the complaint that it was causing a lot of stress or something...basically, because it's food they don't really like, and they are "picky".  He complained that he'd put Andrea's meal suggestion cards up, but I guess no one is doing that.  Seemed kind of frustrated.  

Here's the thing, though- no one is going to cook just like Andrea.  It's heartbreaking, I know.  I am sure they all miss the way things were, before all this food that they aren't used to was showing up on the table every night.  It's just another reminder that everything has changed.

That said, Tom says there's at least another month or 2 of Meal Train, and the obvious solution (imo) is to thank everyone for their concern, but express that in the interest of getting into a new routine, he will be preparing their dinners from now on, using Andrea's cards as prompts.  In fact, that would be something to do with the kids, while actually acknowledging their grief.  Let them pick a favorite meal that Andrea used to cook, and work on recreating it with them.  Or, maybe find some new things they'd like to try.  Anything, but teaching them to insult the kindness of others.
 

I was also wondering what the heck Tom was doing by publicly saying they are not enjoying the free nightly dinners.   Do none of the locals know about the vlog?  I know Andrea had mentioned most locals didn't know but she also said some did watch.

I also wondered why Andrea made such long skirts and dresses for the girls when they obviously got to wear shorts, too.  At the park, those little girls looks so cumbersome in those long skirts while Eden looked appropriate in shorts.

He also said that one thing he didn't have to worry about was money.  None of my business but I do wonder how much money was on Andrea's life insurance policy. Plus his Go Fund Me.

Several times, Tom has mentioned his loneliness. I would think with his grief plus up to his eyeballs in trying to figure out how to be both Mom and Dad, loneliness wouldn't kick in till things settled down and the locals quit coming by daily.

Hanna is 16 months and still not walking.  All kids walk on their own time, but 16 months seems very late in walking. She does pull herself up and stand, but my kids did that by 7 months and all walked without falling by 9 to 12 months.  I just hope Hanna is ok.

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under siege
Just now, Koala said:

The recent string of videos leave me with a very uneasy feeling.  He is very dismissive of the idea that the kids are anything other than "fine", and almost seems annoyed by Claudia's confusion about the permanence of her mama's death.  

He will go all in telling you how awful it is for him.  Lord knows, I totally understand that...I can not even begin to imagine.  But I also can't imagine not realizing how very much Andrea's babies are hurting, too...

In the park video he declared that he knew he was an "awesome Dad", and said he wasn't worried about their education or running the house  (apparently, the kids can do that just fine).  He also mentioned instating "punishments" such as detentions or demerits if the kids don't finish their school work.  Apparently one of the boys is very concerned about his struggles with math and English- it's been mentioned in the last 2 videos.  Naturally, his worries are dismissed.  I guess they're just supposed to educate themselves and accept whatever "punishment" is doled out if they fail at the impossible task set before them.  That should go well.

In the dinner video, I was shocked by how rude Tom was about the Meal Train.  Granted, I am southern.  Here, if someone cooks you a meal, you claim to love it no matter what it tastes like.  You may toss it in the trash the moment their back is turned, but when it's presented, you express gratitude that someone was kind enough to care.

TIn fact, that would be something to do with the kids, while actually acknowledging their grief.  Let them pick a favorite meal that Andrea used to cook, and work on recreating it with them.  Or, maybe find some new things they'd like to try.  Anything, but teaching them to insult the kindness of others.om was very vocal about the fact that chicken casserole wasn't their "favorite", and kept mentioning that he "supplemented" with grilled cheese.  He also kept saying the toaster strudels were a hit. 
 

7

I skipped over a lot of the last live because, as mentioned previously, I can't watch a lot of Tom and those lives are A LOT of Tom. That's really showing bad manners to complain about the food so much. Fair enough they prefer certain things and dislike others but to speak about it like that, with the people providing said food watching, is rather rude.
I do like Koala's idea of Tom and the kids starting to prepare meals themselves using Andrea's meal cards.

My concern continues for the mental wellbeing and grief processing, of the kids. Tom said again that he won't be looking into professional counselling for the kids. He believes that the extended family's support system is enough. 
In most cases of children's grief, there needs to be someone who's an unprejudiced observer to catch the things family and friends overlook or are too close to the child to see. Not necessarily a psychologist/psychiatrist - sometimes it's a school teacher, school counsellor or local clergy (obviously not applicable in this situation) The love and support of family is fantastic, and will be beneficial for sure, but each child is going to have a different way of handling all this. Each child is going to have to deal with so many things that can so very easily be brushed aside, ignored, overlooked or simply considered a quirk - until it's too late or develops into something extremely serious.

Tom says he's not doing okay himself but yet the kids are fine?  No Tom! Not all your children are fine and not all of them can get through this without some extra support and care.

(disclosure: I know my focus is about the wellbeing of the kids and this is due to my past.  I used to work in the counselling field so this situation  gets me a little riled up when children are dismissed as being 'fine')

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fundiefollower
19 minutes ago, louannems said:

 

Hanna is 16 months and still not walking.  All kids walk on their own time, but 16 months seems very late in walking. She does pull herself up and stand, but my kids did that by 7 months and all walked without falling by 9 to 12 months.  I just hope Hanna is ok.

I know Andrea said that almost all of the kids were late walkers, none by 12 months if I recall correctly.  I don't think it is considered delayed by medical standards until a child is 18 months and not walking.  Hopefully she'll start soon.  I wonder if it is partially since they are in such cramped living quarters?

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dairyfreelife
12 minutes ago, fundiefollower said:

I know Andrea said that almost all of the kids were late walkers, none by 12 months if I recall correctly.  I don't think it is considered delayed by medical standards until a child is 18 months and not walking.  Hopefully she'll start soon.  I wonder if it is partially since they are in such cramped living quarters?

Yes, while not walking at 16 months should be something to watch, if she's still not walking by the time she's 18 months, then it's time to be concerned. If she's talking and meeting most other milestones, probably not worrying. I hope there's not any issue as I'm not sure Tom would do much about it. 

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Giraffe

Just as the older kids are now struggling, I imagine Claudia not walking yet could also come from grief. It wouldn’t surprise me if the kid(s) who are new-er to potty training start having accidents, too. 

There’s so much WTF?!? going on with Tom. Apparently he’s the only one who gets to mourn for her??? Those kids need professional help!

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Queen Of Hearts

Tom lost his dad at a young age.  He likely didn't get counseling and instead got support from family and friends and that is probably what he is using to judge the kind of support his kids will need.  I'm not saying it is right, but it likely explains his approach.  Hoping God will give him the wisdom to see if he needs to re-evaluate his choice here.  

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Jana814
31 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Tom lost his dad at a young age.  He likely didn't get counseling and instead got support from family and friends and that is probably what he is using to judge the kind of support his kids will need.  I'm not saying it is right, but it likely explains his approach.  Hoping God will give him the wisdom to see if he needs to re-evaluate his choice here.  

Didn’t realize that Tom lost his dad at a young age. That actually makes perfect sense that he didn’t want to get the kids counseling because he didn’t & I wonder if he should have. 

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FecundFundieFundus

Tom has always been an asshole. In one of the first videos I watched, I remember muttering about him because Andrea paused in her budget or pantry video to awkwardly mention that chips weren't really in the budget but her husband insisted on them, so she kept chips special for him. He'd get lunch with chips and eat them in front of the kids, who weren't allowed any.

Now, my husband and I totally hide special treats from the kids. They're still young enough that they eat off our plates and damn does it feel good to eat what you plated for yourself haha. They have no idea the grown-ups sometimes have chips or fancy ice cream or whatever once they're asleep, because it's rude as hell to tease people with things they can't have. Tom doesn't have a problem having an entire stockpile of treats that are eaten in front of the kids. Douche. 

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Koala
54 minutes ago, FecundFundieFundus said:

Tom has always been an asshole. In one of the first videos I watched, I remember muttering about him because Andrea paused in her budget or pantry video to awkwardly mention that chips weren't really in the budget but her husband insisted on them, so she kept chips special for him. He'd get lunch with chips and eat them in front of the kids, who weren't allowed any.

Now, my husband and I totally hide special treats from the kids. They're still young enough that they eat off our plates and damn does it feel good to eat what you plated for yourself haha. They have no idea the grown-ups sometimes have chips or fancy ice cream or whatever once they're asleep, because it's rude as hell to tease people with things they can't have. Tom doesn't have a problem having an entire stockpile of treats that are eaten in front of the kids. Douche. 

I have a feeling that Tom spoils himself with lots of little treats.  

Andrea had to budget in $50 dollars a month for him to spend on himself, because if she didn't, he felt like he was "taking food out of their mouths" when he bought himself luxury items.   What kind of child thinks that way?  I mean surely he realizes that $50 is $50, even if you put a super special label on it, right?  It was still $50 she had to make due without.  Besides, if he felt like he was robbing the grocery budget, how did he bring himself to spend it in the first place??

We are a one income family (always have been), but we're also a bit older and more established- I would call us "solidly comfortable".  Anyway, even given that we are financially stable, I have to absolutely INSIST that my husband spend his birthday money from my mom and his parents on himself.  I spent the last part of Aug. / first week of Sep. warning him that if he didn't pick some things, then I would pick for him.  In the end, he got shoes & socks (something that we were about to purchase anyway), a bluetooth headset (under $20), and a couple of books.  I got him a new jacket for winter.  He literally felt guilty every time a package arrived.  He just never wants to do anything for himself.  

I watched one of Andrea's budget videos, and what they save vs. what they make does not wash for me.  She claimed they save a god awful fortune for various things, but I just don't see how it would have been possible.  They spent a lot of money on pure crap (sorry, that may be rude, but it's 100% true) from the Dollar Store.  It seems like they are always purchasing random items that are completely useless.  Even their game night videos shows a box of "prizes" that were not age appropriate, and were nothing more than junk and clutter.  Like I said, that seems rude now that I read it, but I just don't get how the money works in that family.  Tom seems super excited about the GFM money, and grocery credit,  and he's mentioned Andrea's life insurance a couple of times.  I have a feeling this is the most money he's ever seen, and I can't say I am surprised to see all the new electronics/camera equipment rolling in.  I predict he will spend it just in time to find out that Scamaritan is going to bail on them.  

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Giraffe

“Kids are resilient.” How much you wanna bet that’s the phrase Tom’s deluding himself with?  I know a kid who lost her mother young to domestic violence. Today she’s doing very well and it’s appropriate to say she’s “resilient.” The difference is: her caregivers got her all the professional help she needed in order to grow into a functional human!!

There’s an enormous difference between looking back on someone’s childhood and deeming them resilient and those who use “kids are resilient” as an excuse to neglect getting children the professional help they need. Tom needs to take his head out of his ass and use that $50,000 for his kids’ therapy. 

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Caroline
6 hours ago, Jana814 said:

Didn’t realize that Tom lost his dad at a young age. That actually makes perfect sense that he didn’t want to get the kids counseling because he didn’t & I wonder if he should have. 

I don't understand people who think the way Tom does.  The whole "It happened to me too, and I'm fine" approach is old-fashioned and dangerous.  We know a lot more know about children and how they process trauma, and we have the means to help them.   It's the reason that we know long teach children to memorize material in school anymore.  We know that teaching them to think critically and do good research is going to be much more useful to them as adults.  Time change, Tom!  Get with the program for the sake of those nine different personalities (who are not you).

(I'm 61 years old with significant childhood trauma that Tom would blow off.  A little therapy would have helped me immensely to get better faster and be more confident in adolescence and early adulthood.)

8 hours ago, fundiefollower said:

I know Andrea said that almost all of the kids were late walkers, none by 12 months if I recall correctly.  I don't think it is considered delayed by medical standards until a child is 18 months and not walking.  Hopefully she'll start soon.  I wonder if it is partially since they are in such cramped living quarters?

My daughter didn't walk till 16.5 months.  She just wasn't that interested but loved being in the water. She started swimming lessons at 3.5 and did it year round because she loved it so much.   She turned into a competent swimmer and swam competitively from 8 till 18.   It's fun to look back in time at the clues to kids' adult interests and talents.

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louannems

Tom did a live video opening boxes from YouTube friends.  Lots and lots of candy.  Andrea had mentioned that they never went to dentists, and that she cleaned the kids' teeth herself with charcoal!  Since the Mill's kids eat more candy and drink more pop than any kids I know, I do wonder about their dental health.

The girls received a box of dresses and Sophia said they were morning clothes.  But could she have said mourning clothes?  She wouldn't know about those, would she?

Little Hanna crawled back back and forth down the long length of the kitchen table and Tom said he is allowing for now.

Thomas and Judah were typing on their phones the whole time.  I wonder what they Google.

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Giraffe
1 hour ago, louannems said:

 I wonder what they Google.

“Why does my dad refuse to see my pain?”

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FreeFundiesKids
12 hours ago, Giraffe said:

“Why does my dad refuse to see my pain?”

I believe they was moderating the live youtube-my guess. 

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kesmom

Am I the only one that finds it odd that Andrea’s meal cards appear to be in like-new condition? I guess there is the possibility that she recently updated them, but in many homes these would have worn corners and food stains. 

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Curious
1 hour ago, kesmom said:

Am I the only one that finds it odd that Andrea’s meal cards appear to be in like-new condition? I guess there is the possibility that she recently updated them, but in many homes these would have worn corners and food stains. 

My guess:  She made them recently so the kids that were taking over for her while she was not feeling well/bedridden would have something to go off for meals each day.

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Eternalbluepearl

Tom seems immature. I do worry for the kids.

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apandaaries
5 minutes ago, Curious said:

My guess:  She made them recently so the kids that were taking over for her while she was not feeling well/bedridden would have something to go off for meals each day.

Quite likely. My most used recipes are in my head with room for inspiration/change based on available ingredients. Cards would be for sharing with others.

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Jana814
34 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Tom seems immature. I do worry for the kids.

I worry about the kids as well. I think Tom doesn’t really knows what he is doing. 

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