Lori Alexander 70: Blaspheming the Word of God

[ItsaJjungle]

12 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Whelp, I had a banana in celebration of my feminism after dinner and it seemed to have triggered my stomach problems. It's so strange because they're supposed to be super helpful for the stomach but of course I should have known better than to think I have normal gerd. This has happened before and I should have made the connection. I'll add bananas next to Lara bars on things I should not eat. I'll have to figure out an alternative to maintain my feminism 

That a side, remember folks, a banana a day keeps the submissive house wife away! ? 

I had GERD quite badly from the age of 11-23. Bananas were so awful for it, that to this day, more than 15 years later, I can’t stomach bananas. They’d give me horrible reflux within minutes of eating them, and then banana-y belches for like 12 hours strong. Bleh. You are not alone in your banana-induced stomach issues. I wish I had a banana-replacement idea for you...would anything phallic-shaped be acceptable? (Totally rhetorical. I just wanted to use the word phallic in a sentence). 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

23 minutes ago, ItsaJjungle said:

I wish I had a banana-replacement idea for you...would anything phallic-shaped be acceptable? (Totally rhetorical. I just wanted to use the word phallic in a sentence). 

I wonder if pickles would be stomach friendly? Pickles are a classic phallic shape!

Spoiler

 

[klein_roeschen]

25 minutes ago, ItsaJjungle said:

 I wish I had a banana-replacement idea for you...would anything phallic-shaped be acceptable? (Totally rhetorical. I just wanted to use the word phallic in a sentence). 

Besides of pickles, how about cucumber, carrots, popsickles and sausages like hot dogs. We have wide range of choice for our non banana eating sisters. We could make a wonderfull feminist buffet

[quiversR4hunting]

19 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I wonder if pickles would be stomach friendly? Pickles are a classic phallic shape!

  Hide contents

 

 That picture is the gift that just keeps giving!!

[Letgo]

13 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Whelp, I had a banana in celebration of my feminism after dinner and it seemed to have triggered my stomach problems. It's so strange because they're supposed to be super helpful for the stomach

Have you been checked for fructose malabsorption? Bananas are high in fructose. Just a thought, and it's an easy test. Many people are misdiagnosed with other conditions, including my own daughter. 

[HoneyBunny]

Did I hear correctly, in LazyLori’s video about how SHE coped with her daughter’s infertility, that she actually said she was “good enough not to let something consume me?”

Lady, never in my entire life have I seen someone so consumed by one thing.  In your case, it’s a sentence in the Bible that tells you to teach younger women. 

[wallysmommy]

I eat pickles,  or drink pickle juice, or apple cider vinegar when I have heartburn.  It is inconclusive if it helps with stomach acid problems.  

Ken blocked me when I sent him a PM about the racists that Lori continues to feed into.  Way to go, Ken.  Avoid the truth.  You have to live with her day in and day out, not us, thankfully.  She's your living scarecrow.

Erratic, neurotic, and a bit psychopathic.  That's our Lori.

[HoneyBunny]

3 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

Erratic, neurotic, and a bit psychopathic.  That's our Lori.

Loved this! Feels like it needs a melody to go along with it and be performed Broadway-style. 

[SilverBeach]

11 hours ago, WineGlass said:

Ok, I just didn't want to come across as trying to hurt people's faith

You will find that that you rarely need to be concerned about what you post here about religion unless you (the collective you) are being an asshole. Actually, this is true for just about any topic on FJ. FJ is a pretty open minded place that includes the entire religious spectrum, including no religion at all. 

I personally find that existing in an echo chamber does not help my faith, and I'm naturally inquisitive anyway. Faith is a constantly changing and maturing thing for me. I like to develop spiritual muscle, and reading the hard stuff does that.  I have one of the books on your list, thanks for the other recommendations.

Edited September 11, 2019 by SilverBeach

[wallysmommy]

Hello, Lori, Well, Hello, Lori

It's not nice the things you say day after day

You're looking bad, Lori, we can tell, Lori

You're erratic, you're neurotic, you're psy-cho-pathic

 

I see your constant posting as you aren't praying

Harping on the same old verse from way back when

So eat a steak, Lori, find something else to do, Lori

Lori'll always be the same old hen.

 

Edited September 11, 2019 by wallysmommy

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, kmachete14 said:

b) Christians who read the Bible without considering any context, history, or literary elements whatsoever, and c) people who do not know how the Bible was compiled or translated through the years. 

My pet peeve, as these are usually the folks that preach at people the loudest, like stupid Lori. These are also usually the folks quickest to condemn, like Jill Rodrigues. The ignorance is appalling.

Edited September 11, 2019 by SilverBeach

[church_of_dog]

22 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

Erratic, neurotic, and a bit psychopathic.  That's our Lori.

 

17 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

Loved this! Feels like it needs a melody to go along with it and be performed Broadway-style. 

What it brought to my mind was the famous* poet Ruth Zardo's saying: 

I'm F.I.N.E.  That's Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Egotistical.

 

*Famous, but fictional.  Louise Penny fans understand. ???

[Sonic the Whoredgehog]

5 hours ago, Curious said:

20 hours ago, Koala said:

-Yes, she very clearly says that neither she nor any of her children were infertile.  Strange, because here's a video she made 5 months ago, on how she dealt with her daughter's infertility:

I know this is a bit belated but I just had a thought. Maybe Lori doesn't consider it "infertility" any more now that Alyssa has finally had a child. It kinda seems like she's saying, "See? Not infertile after all! I'm such a good mother!" which hammers home how shitty the "how I dealt with it" video was, because I don't think she actually cares about Alyssa very much. It's all about Lori and her "suffering" . Now that she doesn't have an "infertile" daughter that people can pity her for, she has a fertile daughter that people can praise her for. She will twist anything and everything to be about her. What a heartless fucking bitch. 

Also, the comments on her bacon post kind of make me sad for these women's husbands. One woman said, "men are so simple and uncomplicated!" and that's the general tone. I'm not very old, but in my years on planet earth I have never met a single human being whom I would consider "simple and uncomplicated". Sure, your husband loves it when you wear pretty dresses and feed him and "give him sex", but have you tried studying, considering, and nurturing his emotions? Are you even aware that he has emotions? It makes me really sad to think about men raised in fundamentalist patriarchies that deride and discount emotions because they're not "masculine". Maybe I'm a bleeding heart, but I find it very difficult to believe that there are that many men who are spiritually and emotionally fulfilled by pretty, willing women and fried food. 

Edited September 11, 2019 by Sonic the Whoredgehog
Fixed a word

[AuntKrazy]

2 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

Besides of pickles, how about cucumber, carrots, popsickles and sausages like hot dogs. We have wide range of choice for our non banana eating sisters. We could make a wonderfull feminist buffet

How about something creme filled, like eclairs or cannoli?

(showing myself to the prayer closet now)

[WarriorJane]

On 9/5/2019 at 10:37 PM, hollyfeller said:

Why would you want to have experiences when you can have babies, babies, babies? Why see anything except in  inside of your house (and maybe the grocery store) rather than the wonders of the world?  "Life has no purpose without children."  Duh!

Have people stopped having children and I just didn't know about it?  Cause honestly,  I see them everywhere.   There goes one now....

[hollyfeller]

3 hours ago, HoneyBunny said:

Did I hear correctly, in LazyLori’s video about how SHE coped with her daughter’s infertility, that she actually said she was “good enough not to let something consume me?”

Lady, never in my entire life have I seen someone so consumed by one thing.  In your case, it’s a sentence in the Bible that tells you to teach younger women. 

That part really ticked me off too.  It came off as braggy.  As if her daughter's infertility was some giant obstacle for HER and she was just so strong that she overcame it.  Yikes.

[ViolaSebastian]

She's really lost it. She thinks this CLEARLY fake advertisement is real. It's pretty apparent Hardee's wouldn't advertise its own food as "sloppy and hastily made." 

 

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, AuntKrazy said:

How about something creme filled, like eclairs or cannoli?

(showing myself to the prayer closet now)

I once had one of my delivery drivers apologize for being late because they got caught up in a game of "stuffing the cannoli"

(off to join @AuntKrazy in the prayer closet)

[WineGlass]

5 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

It blows my mind that there are a) Catholics out there who don't understand the Catholic church's current teachings and still think Evolution isn't real b) Christians who read the Bible without considering any context, history, or literary elements whatsoever, and c) people who do not know how the Bible was compiled or translated through the years. 

 

Yes, yes and yes! The study of Christianity is far more interesting than many Christians realise!

45 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

She's really lost it. She thinks this CLEARLY fake advertisement is real. It's pretty apparent Hardee's wouldn't advertise its own food as "sloppy and hastily made." 

 

Lori identifies with the “sloppy and hastily prepared” part anyway ...

[kmachete14]

A man finding a woman in a pretty dress who can cook and smiles at him attractive in the moment is MUCH different than saying "I want a wife who ONLY wears dresses and aways dresses up for me, cooks a new homemade meal everyday and stays in the kitchen continuously, oh and never ever complains and buffs my ego every day." 

These men who contribute this stupid stuff have no real relationship experience nor do they see women as real people. 

My husband and I's "normal" guy friends of course joke about wanting to wife up someone who can cook and clean. These idiots who follow Lori seem to think these types of jokes are indicative of all men want in a marriage. 

The truth is everyone would appreciate having a partner who could cook, stayed tidy, and dressed nice for them. However, those things are added bonuses/gifts, not the central identity of your partner or the main thing you marry them for . . . 

it really is disturbing how much these men dumb themselves down (while still maintaining an air of superiotiy) and subsequently relegate women to maids.

Even Biblical love requires sacrificing for one another, being willing to go through anything and remain committed until death do you part . . . are you telling me these men are willing to make that sort of promise to just any woman who will wear a dress, smile, and cook for them? Are these women so desperate they think doing those three things will land them a man who will lay down his life for her out of love? 

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, kmachete14 said:

The truth is everyone would appreciate having a partner who could cook, stayed tidy, and dressed nice for them.

Your excellent post reminds me of the the Judy Brady essay "I Want a Wife." 

Spoiler

I Want a Wife

I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

 Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that 1, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school, I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene.

I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

 I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties. 1

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

 

Edited September 11, 2019 by ViolaSebastian

[HoneyBunny]

One of my favorite Twitter comments today comes from a pastor’a wife who tells it like it is. LazyLori, I agree. You’re not ministering to anyone. 

[smittykins]

7 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

Besides of pickles, how about cucumber, carrots, popsickles and sausages like hot dogs. We have wide range of choice for our non banana eating sisters. We could make a wonderfull feminist buffet

Anyone of A Certain Age™️ remember this charming act on the original Gong Show?  Supposedly, it was so controversial that it was edited out of the West Coast broadcast of the program.

 

Edited September 12, 2019 by smittykins
P

[Curious]

5 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

She's really lost it. She thinks this CLEARLY fake advertisement is real. It's pretty apparent Hardee's wouldn't advertise its own food as "sloppy and hastily made." 

 

Actually for once Lori is right.   Knowing Hardee's history of sexist ads and remembering some other vintage ads I read about before I googled this and it is an actual ad

There are a ton of links if you google, but this one has a pretty comprehensive list.

http://worldation.com/opinions/offensive-vintage-ads-need-see-believe/

[louisa05]

5 hours ago, WarriorJane said:

Have people stopped having children and I just didn't know about it?  Cause honestly,  I see them everywhere.   There goes one now....

Schools are still full. I had 25 second graders Monday. That's too many in one room.