Lori Alexander 70: Blaspheming the Word of God

[Seahorse Wrangler]

14 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

So there's at least three of us who are banana-eating feminist sluts!

Who was the first feminist anyway?  Mary Wollstonecraft? Elizabeth Cady Stanton? Simone de Beauvoir?  

Here's a link for the Wikipedia article on Mary Wollstonecraft's seminal feminist work:

A Vindication of the Rights of Women

Wollstonecraft's influence is evident in several of Jane Austen's novels.  That would blow those Austen loving fundies minds!

May I offer Mary Astell ? She pre-dates Wollstonecraft by nearly 100 years.

 

As some-one who hates bananas, I shall be handing in my Feminist Card later today.

[Botkinetti]

I love banana flavoured things but hate bananas so now I’m not sure what kind of feminist I am. I guess I better check with Lori.

[ViolaSebastian]

I eat a banana every day with lunch...but what’s really shocking is the way I go to town on a Polish sausage.  

[SongRed7]

12 hours ago, SuperNova said:

I'm gonna start my own all girl heavy metal band called Cannibal Sluts.

LOL.....Let's have some fun with Lori (and her fansboys and girls) inspired  band names. Here goes a few:

• Slathered
• 10 Minutes and the Lube
• The HelpMeets
• Slimy Salad

[WineGlass]

3 hours ago, Curious said:

I eat like 3 bananas a day, maybe even 4 some days.   I guess I'm going to hell now or something?

I have seen Lori say before that Romans to Revelations is for the church age we are in now (or something like that).  How does that work exactly?   Paul was predicting the future?  His letters were to the latest "church age" and that one has just been going on for a really long time?  The "church age" he was writing about lasts until Jesus returns?

Help a banana cannibal out!

Paul wasn’t predicting the future but he believed he was living in the End Times, and that he would see the coming of the Lord (interestingly, not the RETURN of the Lord - which is one of many reasons why many scholars think Paul believed in a celestial, not an earthly, Jesus). Any way you slice it, the aeon (church age as you put it) was about to come to a dramatic end and Paul had no notion that any church would still exist 2000 years later or that people would STILL be awaiting an imminent arrival of the Lord. The time Lori is talking about simply would never exist for Paul. 

[PennySycamore]

@Seahorse Wrangler,  thanks for the link regarding Mary Astell!  I'll have to ask my daughter f she's familiar with her.  She was taking a class in Feminist Theory last semester.  Mary sounds fascinating!

[WineGlass]

1 minute ago, PennySycamore said:

@Seahorse Wrangler,  thanks for the link regarding Mary Astell!  I'll have to ask my daughter f she's familiar with her.  She was taking a class in Feminist Theory last semester.  Mary sounds fascinating!

Could you ask your daughter if she learned about the banana thing?

[PennySycamore]

3 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

Wasn't there some discussion about the modest way of eating bananas? Cause it looks too much like fellatio when done the normal way?

It was probably peeled on a plate with a knife and fork.  (That sounds a bit like how the murder was committed in Clue/Cluedo.)  

I personally like the method my cousin taught me.  First you peel the banana.  The you stick a fingernail into the little dent and run it up the length. The banana should split into three sections.  This method is a bit messy, but it's fun.

[church_of_dog]

Reading "Banana Sluts" couldn't help but remind me of Banana Slugs, which led me to the video of a favorite novelty song by the Austin Lounge Lizards.

If you listen carefully you'll hear several lyrics appropriate for a Lori thread, including "slime" and "slather". 

Enjoy!

 

PS -- This is the UC Santa Cruz Fight Song! 

[smittykins]

3 hours ago, Seahorse Wrangler said:

 

17 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

So there's at least three of us who are banana-eating feminist sluts!

Who was the first feminist anyway?  Mary Wollstonecraft? Elizabeth Cady Stanton? Simone de Beauvoir?  

Here's a link for the Wikipedia article on Mary Wollstonecraft's seminal feminist work:

A Vindication of the Rights of Women

Wollstonecraft's influence is evident in several of Jane Austen's novels.  That would blow those Austen loving fundies minds!

May I offer Mary Astell ? She pre-dates Wollstonecraft by nearly 100 years.

 

As some-one who hates bananas, I shall be handing in my Feminist Card later today.

 

More for meeeeee! 

[Chocolate Lover]

Bananas?!  No, no, no, no, no!

They're on my list of puke inducing foods and drinks.  The other is coffee.  The smell of either is enough to make my stomach churn.  Depending on the day that smell can make me heave. 

[feministxtian]

I'm not "allowed" to eat bananas in public...evidently a couple of my cube-mates were rather um...distracted by it.

[klein_roeschen]

If that guy had some problem with banana eating women, he should see me eating a salt cucumber (cucumber pickled the same way as sauerkraut instead of vinegar), when I suck the juice out of it so it don't run down my chin

@squiddysquid do you fry just the banana or do you put some kind of dough around it?

[wallysmommy]

Dear Lori:

Pick up a history book or even watch a video on YouTube.  There was never a time that was not so evil.  Maybe you would have preferred to live in a time when Mary Tudor burned 300 people because they were protestant.  Or when the plague swept through London followed by a devastating fire.  Maybe you'd prefer the French Revolution so you could starve to death because there's no Einkorn bread and $14/a pound butter.  I'll give you a picture of a simpler time.  This is my dad and his brothers dirt poor in West Virginia during the depression when they didn't have enough food to eat and my dad had rickets (he's the tall skinny one on the right.  There were wicked people during this time, too, fyi.

Edited September 9, 2019 by wallysmommy

[HoneyBunny]

4 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

LOL.....Let's have some fun with Lori (and her fansboys and girls) inspired  band names. Here goes a few:

• Slathered
• 10 Minutes and the Lube
• The HelpMeets
• Slimy Salad

The Perpetual Parasites

or

The Hypochondriac Housewives

And, for their first hit: Die, Die Without Me (I’m Too Stressed To Care)

[squiddysquid]

39 minutes ago, klein_roeschen said:

If that guy had some problem with banana eating women, he should see me eating a salt cucumber (cucumber pickled the same way as sauerkraut instead of vinegar), when I suck the juice out of it so it don't run down my chin

@squiddysquid do you fry just the banana or do you put some kind of dough around it?

I just slice them in half lengthwise, leaving the peel on and put them on the grill or in the oven with a little sugar sprinkled on top. My friend just fries them with some butter and honey.

Although there' s a Chinese restaurant that makes those fried banana chunks in batter, though unlike most the light them up in alcohol afterwards and put some desiccated coconut in the honey-coating ?

Edited September 9, 2019 by squiddysquid

[Imrlgoddess]

Bananas give me heartburn.  

But still a banana eating feminist slut 

[Lgirlrocks]

5 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

LOL.....Let's have some fun with Lori (and her fansboys and girls) inspired  band names. Here goes a few:

• Slathered
• 10 Minutes and the Lube
• The HelpMeets
• Slimy Salad

*slimy salad and the anchovies.

Dear Lori, god created women for men so they wouldn’t be lonely. Adam felt alone despite having god. This doesn’t mean we are their slaves, sex or homemaker. Women were created to be their life partner and companion. Women are to help them anyway we can but men must first love their spouse like god loves the church or it won’t work, if you want a god centered marriage. If man isn’t loving his spouse like he is supposed to everything else won’t be right. 

[onemama]

Google is featuring a beautiful doodle today so I clicked on it and learned of this amazing, "ebil" Catholic nun, probably considered well out of the will of Lori's god for not marrying and bearing children. I give you Dr. Ruth Pfau.

Who said:  "Not all of us can prevent a war; but most of us can help ease sufferings—of the body and the soul."

and of whom was said: "she never talked about religion, yet "her faith, service, and love" were demonstrations of the spirit that inspired inter-religious dialogue". (Saleem Maseh Amir)

She was well respected by Muslims in Pakistan. 

I don't know whether she liked bananas or not. Wikipedia doesn't say...

 

Edited September 9, 2019 by onemama

[elliha]

10 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

Wasn't there some discussion about the modest way of eating bananas? Cause it looks too much like fellatio when done the normal way?

I don't consider myself an expert in that art but I am pretty sure that most men would consider biting large chunks out of his "manhood" the wrong way to perform fellatio. I did hear a story just about a week ago from a mom whose three year old found her dildo and somehow managed to bite off a piece of it. She said it was made of a jelly-like plastic/silicone but I still don't get how the kid did that, was he half shark? That is how I picture it.

[zeebaneighba]

On 9/8/2019 at 4:13 PM, PennySycamore said:

So there's at least three of us who are banana-eating feminist sluts!

Who was the first feminist anyway?  Mary Wollstonecraft? Elizabeth Cady Stanton? Simone de Beauvoir?  

Here's a link for the Wikipedia article on Mary Wollstonecraft's seminal feminist work:

A Vindication of the Rights of Women

Wollstonecraft's influence is evident in several of Jane Austen's novels.  That would blow those Austen loving fundies minds!

I'm not a huge fan of bananas.  Does that mean I have to turn in my feminist card?

15 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Right! Seriously once again Lori's followers prove themselves to be less apeeling (lol) than a fruit or inanimate object. 

So where are we at in the land of feminism according to Lori and ilk? Ah yes, feminists apparently live in a land of cats, wine, sex toys, and bananas. We also get to live in luxury as singles and travel a lot. 

I kinda like Banana Cannibal Sluts. 

1st hit single "Biting off Bananas" 

This all just makes me think of Actual Cannibal Shia LeBouef

[squiddysquid]

1 hour ago, elliha said:

I don't consider myself an expert in that art but I am pretty sure that most men would consider biting large chunks out of his "manhood" the wrong way to perform fellatio. I did hear a story just about a week ago from a mom whose three year old found her dildo and somehow managed to bite off a piece of it. She said it was made of a jelly-like plastic/silicone but I still don't get how the kid did that, was he half shark? That is how I picture it.

Well, there are those cases where the guy gets a blowjob while driving (why on earth?...) suddenly has to hit the brakes and

(so, so many banana emojis... really, what gives?)

Edited September 9, 2019 by squiddysquid
(so, so many banana emojis... really, what gives?)

[SweetLaurel]

6 minutes ago, squiddysquid said:

Well, there are those cases where the guy gets a blowjob while driving (why on earth?...)

Whispering 'because it's fun...'  showing myself to the prayer closet.....

[elliha]

11 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

Whispering 'because it's fun...'  showing myself to the prayer closet.....

Not my kind of fun. Whatever I die from is not going to be simultanous car crash and choking on a c*ck...

[squiddysquid]

Instagram is reading my thoughts...