Lori Alexander 70: Blaspheming the Word of God

[Hane]

To open stubborn jars, I use two little sheets of textured rubber (similar to the non-skid pads you put under rugs)—one wrapped around the jar, one wrapped around the lid.

[Frog99]

I don’t get the helpless woman mindset. My DH works 24 hour shifts, and in the 72 hours between the 24 hour shifts, he runs his business. He left the house at 6:15am today. Tomorrow, when he gets off at 7am, I have no idea where he’s going in terms of his business. He picked up an additional 12 hour shift tomorrow night, so it’s likely I won’t see him again until 8am or so Saturday. I’ve talked to him for 10 minutes today and that will likely be it, and I will do the same tomorrow. 

I have to handle anything that happens- he can’t leave work (except in an emergency) and if he’s on a call, he  certainly can’t stop life saving care to answer me. Nor would I want him to. 

I open jars, move furniture, do yard work, etc. We take all of our vehicles in for oil changes, but I could certainly learn how to do it. In our old house, I helped hang drywall, spent countless hours scraping wallpaper from plaster walls, and painted. I’m not afraid of hard or challenging work, or getting dirty. We function as a team, picking up where needed. 

Lori and her ilk operate from a fixed mindset point of view. I operate from a growth mindset perspective. It’s an awesome feeling to work hard at something and to then succeed or master or achieve it. 

And I don’t know any women who are trying to be bigger, stronger, or faster than men (and of course she doesn’t grasp the concept of ranges of ability). Women want to be treated equally, to be given equal opportunities, equal pay, equal respect, and on and on. 

[smittykins]

A long time ago, I read an article about people’s made-up names for certain objects(for example, a young child calling Neapolitan ice cream “vanchocstraw”), and one woman living alone referred to a small rubber square she used to open jars as a “rubber husband.”

Edited August 22, 2019 by smittykins

[delphinium65]

4 minutes ago, smittykins said:

a small rubber square she used to open jars as a “rubber husband.”

But is it battery-operated?   

[SweetLaurel]

18 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

I open jars, move furniture, do yard work, etc. We take all of our vehicles in for oil changes, but I could certainly learn how to do it. In our old house, I helped hang drywall, spent countless hours scraping wallpaper from plaster walls, and painted. I’m not afraid of hard or challenging work, or getting dirty. We function as a team, picking up where needed. 

And despite what Lori thinks of the world -there are many many divorced, single, widowed women doing  - everything -  on our own.   We don't have a team, but we manage.  I think most women would/do. Lori isn't capable and couldn't, and just like her 'I never wanted to work so every female who wants to or does, is wrong and hates God' mindset,  she can't understand that there is a real world where daddy and hubby weren't there to support us all our lives.  She just really  -can't - she can only think we hate God so we deserve what we get.   She, of course, is above all that and always will be, unfortunately.    

 

[louisa05]

Forgive me if I've told this story too many times...

My great grandmother was widowed in her early 30s, living on a farm with 8 children. The oldest was 14 and the youngest was an infant. She and her 14 year old son ran that farm doing all the outside work together; he had just completed 8th grade and did not return to school. The next son who was 12 helped, but stayed in school. My grandmother, who was nearly 10 when her father died and the oldest girl, ran the house--cooking, cleaning, and caring for her younger siblings. In order to do this, my great grandmother had to stand up to her own father who on her husband's death had ordered her to send the oldest 6 children off to live with relatives (not together) and move back in with him with her 3 year old and baby. When she refused, he told her she was on her own. She survived and made a living. She did all the things that Lori writes in that stupid post that women can't do. She had no choice unless she wanted to separate her family. In addition to the farm, she got more chickens and started an egg business, too. And, mind you, as I understand it, this woman was about 5'2" and weighed 100 lbs or so.

Women, like men, can do what they have to do. Unless they are sitting on their ass focusing on not doing anything like this stupid bitch spends her time doing. 

 

[dairyfreelife]

Look, Lori, just because you were apparently incapable of grabbing important items and leaving in natural disaster doesn't mean the majority of women would sit in their homes burning to death without a man. What do you think most women who husbands are frequently gone on business or with sick family or in the military do? Sit at home unable to deal with issues or problems because their spouse isn't there? My soon-to-be husband's father is not well, so there are periods where he's probably going to have to be overseas with his ill dad and I have to be here. What am I supposed to do while he's overseas? Have a breakdown because I can't cope if there's a water leak or other issue while he's thousands of miles away? 

*His job allows him to work remotely so he can travel easily for long periods and it's not an issue. Mine doesn't and I cannot just leave on a whim unless it was really serious. I know, doing it wrong because I'm an evil Jezebel working woman. Shouldn't be working and magically would fix all issues somehow. Of course, I'm a college-educated atheist in what would be a "mixed race" marriage so you know her and her racist commenters think I belong in the pits of hell anyway. 

[wallysmommy]

I use the handle of a butter knife to whack the side of a jar lid to get it open.  I have also fixed toilets, changed toilet seats, changed locks on the doors, fixed a track on a kitchen drawer through creating a homemade bracket with wood blocks and E6000 glue, killed roaches, picked up a dead mouse, and pried a dead opossum away from one of my dogs.  Lori is just helpless and useless.  

[usmcmom]

So what did Lori do when Ken travelled six months out of the year? If something needed fixing did she call Daddy? If Daddy wasn’t available, I bet she called Ken and whined enough so that he called the proper repair person. All those who overseas calls probably got really expensive. 

Aren’t we supposed to be doing all we can to make our husbands’ lives easier? How does all this helpless whining take stress off of them?

[Frog99]

Has anyone been able to locate the article Lori claims to have read from yesterday’s post? I can’t find anything, and a search for the exact phrasing she used  links to her and to bloggers who share her posts, along with articles on lesbian feminism (many of which are peer reviewed and written at a higher academic level than where she is). 

Someone in the comments asks for it, but per Lori, the article has an inappropriate picture on it. Lori could have elected not to publish that comment, or she could have directly responded to the request- with or without the link- cautioning the reader about the @inappropriate picture”. 

I tend to think she made it up, but I’m not sure she’s that smart. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

10 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Read the most recent blog post, the thing that jumped out at me was the women who added "make babies" to the list of things they needed their husbands to do because they are unable.  

I already know I'm a major no no in their world, I share the heavy lifting with my husband.  Since he got sick two years ago, I do more of it than he does at times, his health took a blow and he's slowly recovering his physical strength.  Why, oh why, is it so abhorrent to them that a woman change her oil, run a chainsaw, chop wood, or heaven forbid open a jar lid???  

 

I found this opinion piece from 2012 awhile back, and it seems applicable now. (It's the New York Times, so it might be behind a paywall.)

Men, Who Needs Them?

Quote

With expanding reproductive choices, we can expect to see more women choose to reproduce without men entirely. Fortunately, the data for children raised only by females is encouraging. As the Princeton sociologist Sara S. McLanahan has shown, poverty is what hurts children, not the number or gender of parents. 

That's good, since women are both necessary and sufficient for reproduction, and men are neither. From the production of the first cell (egg) to the development of the fetus and the birth and breast-feeding of the child, fathers can be absent. They can be at work, at home, in prison or at war, living or dead.

He isn't so much anti-father as he is making a point. 

Quote

I don't dismiss the years I put in as a doting father, or my year at home as a house husband with two young kids. And I credit my own father as the more influential parent in my life. Fathers are of great benefit. But that is a far cry from "necessary and sufficient" for reproduction.

Anyway,  to Lori and her fangirls and boys.

[hollyfeller]

8 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

And despite what Lori thinks of the world -there are many many divorced, single, widowed women doing  - everything -  on our own.   We don't have a team, but we manage.  I think most women would/do. Lori isn't capable and couldn't, and just like her 'I never wanted to work so every female who wants to or does, is wrong and hates God' mindset,  she can't understand that there is a real world where daddy and hubby weren't there to support us all our lives.  She just really  -can't - she can only think we hate God so we deserve what we get.   She, of course, is above all that and always will be, unfortunately.    

 

Right!  I'm happily divorced, not looking to couple up again, and capable of doing anything the average man can do in my home.  And if I can't I know who to call (i.e., plumber).  Believe it or not, Lori, brawn is not an essential trait for running a home.  It might help sometimes, but it is absolutely not needed.  I'm a petite woman and I assembled absolutely all of my furniture in my house myself.  *Gasp*

P.S. Unfortunately I am waiting until a friend visits before I can get some heavy lifting done in my closet!  Fortunately it's not a priority.

[AuntKrazy]

I open most of the jars in our house. I played piano for years and have a better grip.  I'm also more mechanical and enjoy fixing things. I built and installed custom shelving wall to wall in our home office.

None of that makes me love or respect my husband less (or more!) I have a relationship with him that will last whatever roles we fill as we navigate life because we decide things together in the ways that work best for both of us. 

 

[hollyfeller]

3 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I found this opinion piece from 2012 awhile back, and it seems applicable now. (It's the New York Times, so it might be behind a paywall.)

Men, Who Needs Them?

He isn't so much anti-father as he is making a point. 

Anyway,  to Lori and her fangirls and boys.

That is a great article.  I love all the butthurt dudes in the comments.  While it contains a lot of science, it's an opinion piece!

[Frog99]

4 hours ago, hollyfeller said:

Right!  I'm happily divorced, not looking to couple up again, and capable of doing anything the average man can do in my home.  And if I can't I know who to call (i.e., plumber).  Believe it or not, Lori, brawn is not an essential trait for running a home.  It might help sometimes, but it is absolutely not needed.  I'm a petite woman and I assembled absolutely all of my furniture in my house myself.  *Gasp*

P.S. Unfortunately I am waiting until a friend visits before I can get some heavy lifting done in my closet!  Fortunately it's not a priority.

I think the fan girls and their husbands don’t understand the concept of hiring someone to complete tasks like plumbing, renovations around the house, oil changes, etc. I suspect they would argue that they are capable (thus making them more Godly or more manly), and they are being good stewards- and argue that it’s another example of how those women who have careers do so for material comforts (and that their men are betas). The reality is that many of them already have budget outputs that exceed inputs. 

My DH is quite handy- but we are at a stage where time is money, and when he’s not at work, he would prefer to relax as a family. I want him around for years to come. 

[wallysmommy]

This is pure genius from the Queen of Mean...

"People who are unkind and unloving don’t need to be treated likewise. How will they ever learn to be kind and loving if they don’t see these qualities being modeled to them?"

What does Queen Lori model -- anger, violence, rage, condemnation, obsession with sex, racism, homophobia, eating disorders, laziness, lying, pride...shall I continue?  She can be unkind and unloving but everyone needs to be nice to her.

[Alisamer]

47 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

This is pure genius from the Queen of Mean...

"People who are unkind and unloving don’t need to be treated likewise. How will they ever learn to be kind and loving if they don’t see these qualities being modeled to them?"

What does Queen Lori model -- anger, violence, rage, condemnation, obsession with sex, racism, homophobia, eating disorders, laziness, lying, pride...shall I continue?  She can be unkind and unloving but everyone needs to be nice to her.

Yep. She knows she's terrible, but she doesn't care - but she gets mad if people treat her like she treats them. Everybody's got to cater to lazy Lori.

6 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I think the fan girls and their husbands don’t understand the concept of hiring someone to complete tasks like plumbing, renovations around the house, oil changes, etc.

I suspect this is a fundamental difference, possibly class/financially based, between them and Lori. I have noticed this in person. The people I know who grew up well off or in more white collar type homes tend to immediately call someone to take care of things they need done. The people I know (like me) who grew up in less well-off circumstances or more blue collar homes tend to consider that a second choice in most cases. It's not a hard and fast rule, of course, but it tends to trend that way. Once my family got a weekend stay in a very nice beachfront condo owned by my boss, in exchange for replacing the broken disposal in the kitchen sink! 

There are times where it's just simply better and more efficient to hire someone to do what needs done, but that is never my first reaction. My first reaction is always to look, google, ask my (lifelong mechanic and farmer) dad, and see if something is easily fixable first. 

I'm pretty sure a large number of Lori's leghumpers are far less well off than her, and for them money is tighter than time. So their reaction to a problem is to dump it on their husband, who then is expected (or feels he has to, or can only afford to) fix it himself. 

Lori, however, whines at Ken, who then almost certainly calls in a professional to deal with the problem. Ken's way of dealing with the problem is to call the plumber/repairman/whatever and get out the credit card/checkbook to pay for it.

Lori is very shortsighted. She doesn't realize that her fangirls trying to take her advice are living far different lives than hers. For example it's very easy for Lori to eat organic food, so everyone should. It never occurs to her that there are places where organic food is less easy to acquire, or that people might not be able to afford organic, or any of a million other reasons why someone might find it difficult or impossible to live like Lori. This applies to ALL of Lori's advice. She thinks everyone lives like she does, so must do what she says (but not what she does, because Lori is special and blessed or something).

 

[SilverBeach]

The problem with treating unkind and unloving people nicely is that it doesn't mean shit to them. If you don't estblish boundaries, these nasty people will just keep trampling over you and your feelings. It's the same problem with Lori's "win them over without a word" bullshit rationale for accepting spousal abuse. These folks are not impressed by your loving kindness. Often, they consider you a weak sucker. These are adults we are talking about, I'm not concerned with modeling shit for them. I'm concerned about getting their foot off my neck. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

18 hours ago, usmcmom said:

 

Aren’t we supposed to be doing all we can to make our husbands’ lives easier? How does all this helpless whining take stress off of them?

Exactly!  I get that it's about control, but having a wife-child seems like it would be as exhausting for a man as it would be for a wife with a big man-child to care for.

[lilwriter85]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

 

I'm pretty sure a large number of Lori's leghumpers are far less well off than her, and for them money is tighter than time. So their reaction to a problem is to dump it on their husband, who then is expected (or feels he has to, or can only afford to) fix it himself. 

Lori, however, whines at Ken, who then almost certainly calls in a professional to deal with the problem. Ken's way of dealing with the problem is to call the plumber/repairman/whatever and get out the credit card/checkbook to pay for it.

Lori is very shortsighted. She doesn't realize that her fangirls trying to take her advice are living far different lives than hers. For example it's very easy for Lori to eat organic food, so everyone should. It never occurs to her that there are places where organic food is less easy to acquire, or that people might not be able to afford organic, or any of a million other reasons why someone might find it difficult or impossible to live like Lori. This applies to ALL of Lori's advice. She thinks everyone lives like she does, so must do what she says (but not what she does, because Lori is special and blessed or something).

 

I agree with what you're saying.  I remember a couple of fangirls saying they saved money because their husbands did household repairs. Growing up, my parents did  household repairs for things they were sure they could do. There were times they called in professionals for major repairs that they didn't feel comfortable doing. Lori wouldn't give a shit if a fangirl's husband was unable to do a major plumbing repair and they don't have money for a plumber. 

[HoneyBunny]

I don’t know if I am allowed to say this here, but I will say, without quoting or copying from LazyLori’s Facebook page that Ken is in the ICU in Door County with possible Lyme Disease (excerpt she calls it Lyme’s Disease). She is asking for prayers. 

[lilwriter85]

If'

2 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

I don’t know if I am allowed to say this here, but I will say, without quoting or copying from LazyLori’s Facebook page that Ken is in the ICU in Door County with possible Lyme Disease (excerpt she calls it Lyme’s Disease). She is asking for prayers. 

I think if the post is set to public settings it's ok. I wouldn't be surprised if Lori posts that on the Transformed Wife FB page or she'll blog about it tomorrow. 

[Frog99]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Yep. She knows she's terrible, but she doesn't care - but she gets mad if people treat her like she treats them. Everybody's got to cater to lazy Lori.

I suspect this is a fundamental difference, possibly class/financially based, between them and Lori. I have noticed this in person. The people I know who grew up well off or in more white collar type homes tend to immediately call someone to take care of things they need done. The people I know (like me) who grew up in less well-off circumstances or more blue collar homes tend to consider that a second choice in most cases. It's not a hard and fast rule, of course, but it tends to trend that way. Once my family got a weekend stay in a very nice beachfront condo owned by my boss, in exchange for replacing the broken disposal in the kitchen sink! 

There are times where it's just simply better and more efficient to hire someone to do what needs done, but that is never my first reaction. My first reaction is always to look, google, ask my (lifelong mechanic and farmer) dad, and see if something is easily fixable first. 

I'm pretty sure a large number of Lori's leghumpers are far less well off than her, and for them money is tighter than time. So their reaction to a problem is to dump it on their husband, who then is expected (or feels he has to, or can only afford to) fix it himself. 

Lori, however, whines at Ken, who then almost certainly calls in a professional to deal with the problem. Ken's way of dealing with the problem is to call the plumber/repairman/whatever and get out the credit card/checkbook to pay for it.

Lori is very shortsighted. She doesn't realize that her fangirls trying to take her advice are living far different lives than hers. For example it's very easy for Lori to eat organic food, so everyone should. It never occurs to her that there are places where organic food is less easy to acquire, or that people might not be able to afford organic, or any of a million other reasons why someone might find it difficult or impossible to live like Lori. This applies to ALL of Lori's advice. She thinks everyone lives like she does, so must do what she says (but not what she does, because Lori is special and blessed or something).

 

I agree and would say we are probably middle of the road- doing some things ourselves and outsourcing others. Sometimes it’s based on skill set and sometimes it’s based on time available. My DH is handy. He’s a paramedic but also an electrician, and he’s picked up quite a bit from being around construction sites. He also has friends in other trades and I have found them to be helpful at times- they will share tools/resources and sometimes physically help. He’s also been known to search YouTube for tutorials. 

But we know when professional services are needed and we don’t expect our construction friends to work for free. 

We take our vehicles in for oil changes, but DH replaces the brakes when needed. We do our own yard work/maintenance (lots of people in the neighborhood use a lawn service), but in the fall we have someone do the leaf clean up the several times it takes to get rid of all of them. I sometimes use Hello Fresh but then meal plan and cook for the remaining 5 nights. When a pipe broke in our old house he did most of the digging and repair but we paid rotor rooter to inspect the lines and had a plumber assist as well. When we hung dry wall in our old house, we paid a company to do the mudding and sanding. 

 

 

[kpmom]

21 hours ago, usmcmom said:

So what did Lori do when Ken travelled six months out of the year? If something needed fixing did she call Daddy? 

Yes, remember her story about the time her father brought her soup and then rubbed her feet when she wasn't feeling well?   I'll bet she burned up the phone lines to Daddy when Ken was gone.

I'm trying to remember if she ever has mentioned her mom helping her out when the kids were little and Ken was gone?

[SilverBeach]

4 minutes ago, kpmom said:

I'll bet she burned up the phone lines to Daddy when Ken was gone.

I bet she moved in with the kids when Ken was gone.