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Bro Gary Hawkins 11: Bro likes his food


samurai_sarah

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On 8/7/2019 at 3:22 PM, Caroline said:

Isn't this when Bro heads north for red weens in ME?

You called it!!!!

Spoiler

8173A098-98E5-42D5-8CA7-AB6BEF8528AB.thumb.png.5a6722f8e25d24a2fe95f90ae4ce8826.png

 

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"get red weenys" is just not something i hear in public.  my mind has gone to all kinds of bad places, but it's getting the image of the damn pink slop out of my brain.

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1 hour ago, catlady said:

"get red weenys" is just not something i hear in public.

I guess some folks in ME are hearing it from Bro.  :pink-shock:

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Why, oh why does he insist on referring to them as “weenys”? Surely he knows how that sounds, right? Right??? 

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1 hour ago, Lillymuffin said:

Why, oh why does he insist on referring to them as “weenys”? Surely he knows how that sounds, right? Right??? 

Given what we've observed of his communication skills, maybe not.

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"Strike lightning down on me and send me to hot place."

Gary is such a perfect caricature of the illiterate bigoted preacher that I think he may secretly be Chris Morris.

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Gary, you misunderstood. He was just warning you because he was worried about your safety. The tent meeting  is the hot place (not to mention a likely place to get hit by lightning).

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On 8/1/2019 at 9:14 PM, keepercjr said:

Yes the local police say to always answer the door, even if you just shout through it.  Getting nobody at the door is a good sign for criminals!  I help coordinate an annual neighborhood pot luck and a neighbor and I usually go around together to drop off invites.  Depending on how pressed for time we are, we might ring door bells or just leave them on the porch.  I have had several neighbors talk through closed doors to me and just direct me to leave the potluck invite on the porch.

 I believe that my big dog (and little dog) barking at the door is enough of a deterrent when we aren’t home though thank goodness.  Especially since I have older kids home alone sometimes and they know not to answer the door.

We have a video doorbell - and some people still knock. WTF? 

I may not answer if someone uses the doorbell; I definitely won't answer if they knock!

Recently added a door magnet that reads "No Soliciting - family, friends and neighbors welcome" ...too soon to know if it works to deter solicitation.

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37 minutes ago, scoutsadie said:

Recently added a door magnet that reads "No Soliciting - family, friends and neighbors welcome" ...too soon to know if it works to deter solicitation.

I stopped by my friend's house earlier. They have a baby so I always text or call before I ring the bell. They have a little sign on their door that says, "No Sales. No Ring Bell." LOL

I want to know more about the guy who is going to the hot place. I went to a hot place today. My car said it was 108.

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Friends, he's not getting struck by lightning, he's getting struck by lighting. Guessing a ceiling lamp fell.

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24 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Friends, he's not getting struck by lightning, he's getting struck by lighting. Guessing a ceiling lamp fell.

Ah -- I hadn't caught that - thank you!

Think he'll realize now that his whole life is a sham, or will he need to see the walls for that?

 

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Here is a video the Sherlins posted of the tent revival in Maine.  Looks to be about 10 people max there including the Hawkins' and Sherlins.  Becky and the kids played "music" for 40 minutes (!) before Gary started preaching.  I can't listen to it right now but maybe someone wants to take a crack

 

Here they posed for a photo

image.png.ba6e264d7689e6a02dbad0afa69e6b0e.png

 

 

Edited by keepercjr
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Long time lurker that fell into this rabbit hole.  I’m trying to think of something positive to say....bro looks better in the above picture then his preacher suits.  Umm, not much but better?  Sorry, that’s my best attempt.  What a cluster.

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13 hours ago, keepercjr said:

Becky and the kids played "music" for 40 minutes (!) before Gary started preaching.  I can't listen to it right now but maybe someone wants to take a crack.

OK folks, thanks to @keepercjr, I will take a crack at recapping this video. The pastor starts out by saying they can have s’mores or roasted marshmallows afterward. There are an awful lot of empty chairs. We live in a society where a lot of people are offended. Even the homosexual crowd has been taught that if a Christian disagrees with you, they hate you. If you have a different belief, you hate someone. That’s not true. (Sounds like they’re on the side of an interstate). Bro Gary is slunk back in his chair while the preacher talks. I am in no way trying to fat shame but he looks like a giant blue lump.

Oh, a guy walks up to the front of the stage and bows down, putting his head on the step or something. Oh, the pastor gets down on the floor too. There are a couple different prayers going on and it’s kind of chaotic. There are SO MANY empty chairs. I’m cutting back on drinking but holy Rufus I need a drink to recap this.

OK there are people standing up, giving their testimonies. Someone is playing banjo in the background. The people are talking about how afraid they were to go to hell, how people talked to them about heaven and told them the only way to get there. The devil was on one side, the Lord was on the other side. I remember those exact talks and how weird they made me feel. 

This guy is giving his testimony and they’re kind of picking at the banjo and talking up on stage and then someone knocks over a music stand. Very distracting. The guy says they are all sinners and Bro says Haymayun, and the only way to heaven is through the blood of Jesus, and another Haymayun. He’s done and oh, there are more testimonies. Now some horribly off key singing. I’m fast forwarding. Thanks @keeper for warning just how long the singing was. (LMAO I accidentally typed sining.)

Cue Bro and all his hallaluyer and haymayun and he’s saved. If you’ve never been borned again and saved by the grace of God, he recommends you do it. The Lord convicted his heart at a Baptist church in South Carolina. Apparently when Becks was 6 or 7 she stole some cookies but that’s not why she was going to hell. She was going to hell because she wasn’t saved. 

It looks like literally everyone in the audience is elderly. Bro and his boy was out knockin’ on doors in Pennsylvania the other day and his boy asked a lady, if you die today where would you go? She had about 3 or 4 dogs running around. She responded that she would go spend eternity with her dogs at the rainbow bridge. (This is where I would like to spend eternity as well.) He’s never heard of such a thing. His wife had (has?) a dog and he’s thankful he’s not spending eternity with it. (I’m sure the dog is equally grateful). Everyone laughs. Ain’t there somewhere in the Bible that says between the time you die and the time you go to heaven? Hebrews chapter 9. He says yes, there’s a judgement.

He says not to raise your hand but how many times have we gone to a courtroom when we was guilty (well, never for me, but we know your past, Bro). Someone went to prison and it wasn’t even their fault. There’s some crooked judges and lawyers in America. If you got money, you can get out. If you don’t, you’re gone. Someday we’re gonna  stand in front of a mighty judge. (Way to gloss over that, Bro.) 

He’s wanting to have some crowns to throw at Jesus’ feet. The only thing a rich man is to have to look forward to is he’s going to have a little bit of time where he’ll come out of the fire and be judged and then thrown into the lake of fire. (I have visions of the lava pit in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where they lower the guy into the molten lava and then his heart bursts into flames.) That guy’s gonna be there for eternity. Somebody can’t pray you out of it.

He talks about how his grandma has been dead for about 8 years. He can’t remember. A Methodist lady commended ? Her into heaven.  He hopes she’s in heaven but her testimony was a little iffy. She knows where she’s at now. God said when you get to hell you’re there for eternity.

He doesn’t care how many sins you commit, that’s not what’s sending you to hell. What’s sending you to hell is rejecting Jesus on the old rugged cross. You ever been rejected? Neither does God like his son being rejected. 

He saw a group of people today and did what he does best, tell them about Jesus. He invited them to the tent meeting. The guy said, a tent meeting? The only thing God’s gonna do for me is strike a piece of lightning and put me the hot place. (Verbatim)

Why would you feel sorry for him? He knows where he’s going. But he hasn’t seen what’s on the back of Gary’s truck––due to the fire, the party has been cancelled. It’s from the Holy Spirit of God. 

He talks about people who say their church is boring. Bro says to come to his church. They yell and if they’re not too fat they run a lap. He’s still rejoicing about 6 lives getting saved, and they’re not going to go hang out with the rich man and the devil. The devil hates your guts.

He talks about being saved by the blood of Jesus and some people say, ya’ll got a bloody religion. He says they do. His wife used to be a nurse and she still thinks she’s half a nurse. He talks about people donating blood and his blood might help someone but he likes his blood and wants to keep his blood. His blood won’t do a lot of good in the spiritual sense.

Being good ain’t gonna get you to heaven. Someone the other day said they were against religion. He starts screaming about the blood and being a Baptist and Jesus. People clap. He’s still screaming. He’s not looking for the undertaker. He’s looking for the uppehtaker. His wife told him she’s gonna have a 3 day tent revival when he’s dead and he doesn’t care. He was saved July 11th, 1999 when he was 25 years old. (I just realized he’s like 5 years older than me!!) He had been in church and religion his entire life. He’s thankful God forgives every sin. 

If you use the word hell on the outside it’s a bad word. But if you get it from the KJV it means the middle of the earth where people are frying like sausage (does he mean weens?), wishing they could get out of hell. He talks again about the rich man, screaming for people to accept God. 

Oh my, I’m barely halfway through and I think I’ve written about 15,000 words. I need to work on my actual book and I’ll try to recap the rest tomorrow.

tent meeting.png

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Wow @PumaLover. I’m quite sure you are an articulate and talented writer to get that much down in a semi logical manner. 

This whole situation is just the outcome of poor education... G has heard what I’ll call ‘religious talk’ his whole life in small country churches. Now he doesn’t research the Bible or seek out knowledge or even grow his faith. He can’t intellectually do those things. His entire message really is throwing out half wrong snippets from that old time religious talk and thinking it makes him a pastor.

I think I’ve said it before but these people vote! Eek!

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17 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Someone is playing banjo in the background.

I lost it at that.  Did anyone else get Deliverance vibes or was it just me?

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Oh my gosh folks, I'm watching Chopped and had to pause it to share one of the basket ingredients with you. I will put it and the description under a spoiler. If you're eating, don't open the spoiler.

Spoiler

weenys

Description is, hot dog buns used as a crust, hot dogs blended up with gelatin for the filling, hot dogs around the edge and what looks like ketchup, mustard and relish as toppings.

weeny1.thumb.jpg.44b8aefe489f785712b300f32ef9d825.jpgweeny2.thumb.jpg.2e4b21cc0d4ef3448c2cab1d5f47ee8e.jpgweeny3.thumb.jpg.c321c5bb29cc3976a5beed5f976e021a.jpg

 

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1 hour ago, PumaLover said:

Oh my gosh folks, I'm watching Chopped and had to pause it to share one of the basket ingredients with you. I will put it and the description under a spoiler. If you're eating, don't open the spoiler.

  Hide contents

weenys

Description is, hot dog buns used as a crust, hot dogs blended up with gelatin for the filling, hot dogs around the edge and what looks like ketchup, mustard and relish as toppings.

weeny1.thumb.jpg.44b8aefe489f785712b300f32ef9d825.jpgweeny2.thumb.jpg.2e4b21cc0d4ef3448c2cab1d5f47ee8e.jpgweeny3.thumb.jpg.c321c5bb29cc3976a5beed5f976e021a.jpg

 

Ugh! I'd give the disgust reaction, but I don't want it counting against you, so I gave the WTF reaction instead (that doesn't count against your reputation, does it?). I know I could never eat that disgusting concoction...and as much as Bro Gary likes weens, I don't know that even he could stomach this. Good thing I ate my dinner hours ago.

Edited by pamplemousse
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I choose to believe that this is the song being played on banjo in the video that @PumaLover was kind enough to recap for us. Don't miss the spoons solo!

Spoiler

 

 

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4 hours ago, pamplemousse said:

I know I could never eat that disgusting concoction...and as much as Bro Gary likes weens, I don't know that even he could stomach this.

Have you seen what he does eat?  I think he'd be all over it.

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6 hours ago, pamplemousse said:

Ugh! I'd give the disgust reaction, but I don't want it counting against you, so I gave the WTF reaction instead (that doesn't count against your reputation, does it?). I know I could never eat that disgusting concoction...and as much as Bro Gary likes weens, I don't know that even he could stomach this. Good thing I ate my dinner hours ago.

:my bold above:

@pamplemousse.  Rut Roh ... I have used disgust before, but it was not meant as a negative towards the poster.  Thank you for the heads-up, I need to go back to the guidelines section and brush up.

 

Edited by ALM7
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I thought that anything from the down vote to the left counts as a negative against the poster, everything else is a positive.

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