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Bro Gary Hawkins 11: Bro likes his food


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On 10/11/2019 at 3:01 PM, Four is Enough said:

Thank Rufus it's not Germantown, Maryland..

Thank You, oh Antlered One.  Signed, someone from one county over.

 

On 10/13/2019 at 4:43 AM, PumaLover said:

 our building was right across from the BIG FAT SAUSAGE booth. Bro would have gone nuts for that! emoji894.png

It giant weenie

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Gary got a sign from  . . . God? Satan? Arkansas Electric Company?

People yell "Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!" when the lights go out. Guess they're that happy that Gary has to stop his laborious Bible reading in the dark.

But you can't shut Gary up with darkness! He starts riffing after a few minutes. He gets an "amen!" for his statement that cartoons aren't what they used to be.

I couldn't get it to cue up right to the spot -- it starts at about minute 27.

Spoiler

 

 

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Ah, the good folks at Entergy (formerly Arkansas Power and Light) my former employer.  Somehow Gary is welcome comic relief from the stress-inducing idiocy of Lori Alexander and JRod.  

I swear if he ever comes near South Louisiana or Mississippi I'm a goin' to the tent meetin'.  I'll bring a couple of cans of vienna sausage and drop them in the offering plate.

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1 hour ago, wallysmommy said:

I swear if he ever comes near South Louisiana or Mississippi I'm a goin' to the tent meetin'.  I'll bring a couple of cans of vienna sausage and drop them in the offering plate.

I am far too tired tonight but I would love to recap this tent meetin' maybe tomorra. (I've been fallin' behind on my recappin' of Bro videos, due to my actual job* that I work so I can buy things).

@wallysmommy I'm a gon' visit my dad in southern Alabama again next summer. Used to live in Meridian, MS and plan to go back there again. If Bro is anyplace around that area at the time, I will be sure to show up and record/recap. 

(I've lived back in California since 1988 but damn if I don't fall back into that accent after watching about 12 seconds of a Bro video! I have nothing but great memories from my time in the Deep South and love all the folks that I met there. I still miss it every day.)

*not everyone can afford to be unemployed for the LORD

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On 10/16/2019 at 5:11 PM, thoughtful said:

Wonder what it said before he fixed it.

image.thumb.png.c9e06af1c88e4f632f11fe8c9ed385f6.png

I like to think that John's last name is pronounced with a long u.

If you click on the 3 little dots on the top right of a Facebook post, one of the options that pop up is “view edit history” if the post has been edited.  Here is the edit history of this one:

D745A1A4-539D-455C-A1E6-F1FD5B573368.thumb.jpeg.e7d93eea8eb0bf0266f9350edbe1c40a.jpeg

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10 hours ago, keepercjr said:

If you click on the 3 little dots on the top right of a Facebook post, one of the options that pop up is “view edit history” if the post has been edited.  Here is the edit history of this one:

D745A1A4-539D-455C-A1E6-F1FD5B573368.thumb.jpeg.e7d93eea8eb0bf0266f9350edbe1c40a.jpeg

It took him three tries, and he still didn't get it all right.

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11 minutes ago, Dana723 said:

It took him three tries, and he still didn't get it all right.

When the LORD called Bro Gary to preach, was it in English or Weenese?

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8 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

When the LORD called Bro Gary to preach, was it in English or Weenese?

I can just see it now:

The sky turned a beautiful, startling shade of pink - the color of ween gravy when you use red weens from ME. The clouds opened, there was a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder, and the voice of God thundered:

"OK folks! Gary, it LORD. I know you LORD the LORD with all yr hart and sul! Go ye, and preach! 80,000 every day, so me not to Heaven. I'm pukin' puke out because they think they somebody. Have a burned for America, Bro - if you want, who will? Bring little MOGs to the alter, Bro Gary, in My name.  Do might things till you go or I come. I has call you, has you went?"

And the clouds closed. Haymayun.

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1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

I can just see it now:

The sky turned a beautiful, startling shade of pink - the color of ween gravy when you use red weens from ME. The clouds opened, there was a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder, and the voice of God thundered:

"OK folks! Gary, it LORD. I know you LORD the LORD with all yr hart and sul! Go ye, and preach! 80,000 every day, so me not to Heaven. I'm pukin' puke out because they think they somebody. Have a burned for America, Bro - if you want, who will? Bring little MOGs to the alter, Bro Gary, in My name.  Do might things till you go or I come. I has call you, has you went?"

And the clouds closed. Haymayun.

Hilarious!!  I think that is a very accurate historical transcript of the blessed event!

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On 10/18/2019 at 3:08 AM, thoughtful said:

He spelled Maranatha right! How did that happen?

Brobably an accident. He spelled it wrong in yet another way here. Also, he managed to tag Caesar while affectionately  calling him bro Ceaser. I guess he needs some fortitude.

Spoiler

Screenshot_20191019-090559.thumb.jpg.6f256d1455b053628bec91682eef6938.jpg

I will be Praying for y'all and y'all

Anyway,  have you guys ever run a Marathana? I hear it's excruciating.

Edited by AmazonGrace
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5 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Brobably an accident. He spelled it wrong in yet another way here. Also, he managed to tag Caesar while affectionately  calling him bro Ceaser. I guess he needs some fortitude.

Stopped clocks are right twice a day.

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On 10/18/2019 at 12:39 AM, wallysmommy said:

I swear if he ever comes near South Louisiana or Mississippi I'm a goin' to the tent meetin'.  I'll bring a couple of cans of vienna sausage and drop them in the offering plate.

Please, oh please write "Them's good eatin' weens!!" on the label!

On 10/18/2019 at 2:39 AM, PumaLover said:

Used to live in Meridian, MS and plan to go back there again.

I hear Meridian folks aren't nearly as scary as the folks in Maycomb.

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4 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

So thankful that God fails.

I think he has a point...was Bro really the best the LORD could do for a preacher?  Bro's "calling" keeps getting him all sorts of stuff, with no paying job!

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Bro is getting closer.  Jackson is about a 2.5 hour ride from me.  A little too far for an evening jaunt to see them.  If they hit Hattiesburg, then I'm in.  I shall wear leggings and lots of makeup.  

 

Edited by wallysmommy
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20 hours ago, Dandruff said:

When the LORD called Bro Gary to preach, was it in English or Weenese?

Tongues!  Bro Gary be speaking in tongues.

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2 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Tongues!  Bro Gary be speaking in tongues.

I've heard people speaking in tongues, and they made a lot more sense than Bro does!

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2 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I've heard people speaking in tongues, and they made a lot more sense than Bro does!

But I thought Bro Gary never wanted to act like a turkey have a seizure??

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OK folks… Sis Puma had to update her FJ location tonight based on these amazing FJ posts. 

Sis Puma was having lunch at Taco Bell (she was not almost saved) but was reading FJ on her phone and was cracking up the entire time. Thank you Fj for always being witty and funny and relevant (words the fundies we follow probably do not comprehend).

I lived in Meridian, MS 30+ years ago but made great friends and I have always had a soft spot for i"my hometown".  I moved back to California but always have kept a part of Mississippi with me. It was honestly the happiest part of my childhood. Those green rolling hills, the tall pines in the forests, the snapping turtles in the ponds–I love and miss them every day.

Edited by PumaLover
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Gary is talking about going to the church but it could do double duty as couples counseling (Weenese edition):

Quote

Can you don't give HIM a little time of HIS day.


 

Spoiler


kuva.png.f7c9bcb6715b0ac030f53b4f2000b619.png

 

 

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Bro is preaching live so I am not gonna try to watch it just yet but I did take this screen grab.  That is *a lot* of weight around his midsection and a heart attack waiting to happen.  In his right hand is a rag that he just used to mop up the sweat on his face.

18CB7786-6897-4DA9-B157-8AF4B3251115.thumb.jpeg.2d37027203028a204a8cb62a494d0743.jpeg

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