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Bro Gary Hawkins 11: Bro likes his food


samurai_sarah

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Ok folks, I went to my friend's son's birthday today and she was so kind as to make me vegetarian weens!!! (She's still a new friend so I did not call them weens in front of her).

I bought this sign for thanksgiving last year because vodka is my drink of choice and I change it seasonally. I am very excited about Halloween in case you couldn't tell. I'm also excited because it's about time for Bro to start carrying on about HELL-o-ween!

I don't have much to do tonight (besides cleaning and who wants to do that?) so I may recap the live video from Friday night. I'm sure everyone is on the edge of their seats, just waiting for it! [emoji16]6def1e6cdf3f309ff06b80b7ce2903e2.jpg

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Bro 9/27

OK folks, Sis Puma attempting to recap. Had to fast forward about 30 minutes through singing. There are bales of straw at the front by the stage. Straw all over the floor/ground. Looks like my chicken coop. 

The Hawkinses make their way to the stage. Oh wait, there’s still singing. The boys’ music sounds good. The singing is way off key. Bro is just standing in the background awkwardly. Oh the singing is so horrible and I try to find something good in everything. It’s just so off key!! 

Bro got lost so he knows how it feels to be saved. It’s Friday night and they’re a whole lot closer to Christmas than they was last year. (What?) Haymayun good to be under the tent, they have to take it down tonight but it’s OK because nobody has to work tomorrow, you ain’t gotta get up early in the morning (like you ever work, Bro? Do you remember what it’s like?). 

We’re in 2 Corinthians ch. 13. It gets lonely being on the road after awhile. The first two rows of chairs are empty. A guy gets up and prays while Bro is preaching. His reading is awkward as always and he keeps saying reptobate. I think he said it 3 or 4 times. Oh holy Rufus he said it again. Once Jesus Christ is in you you’re not yourself. He was raised in church and will be 47 on October 7th if he makes it. He was one of those kids on drugs–he was drug to this church and this mission conference but he was on his way to Hell. Something about something he saw on Facebook today about how people used to go out on the streets to find the lost but you don’t have to do that anymore because the lost are in church. Something about the sinner’s prayer. He’s read the Bible a couple times. 

Lee Robinson preached in the 70s that 70% of the people in Baptist churches were lost and on their way to hell. He wonders what that would be in 2019. He is positively screaming now about some of the preachers who get up there and preach, if they even know what they’re talking about. 

Now he’s screaming about some preacher who got up and preached at the camp meeting and he got borned again. Back in those days (it was a story someone had told him) he was pastoring a large church and he said, I just want to let you know, I just got saved. He offered to step down and the deacon said, you’ve done pretty good as the devil’s preacher. Come back now as God’s preacher and we’ll see how the church goes. He thinks all preachers should be saved. 

He’s screaming about people being saved. He was raised in church but didn’t get saved til he was 25. He didn’t like church then. Now that he’s saved he likes being in church. Religion will still send you to hell. He’s talking about smartphones being dumb. Smartphones are smarter than GPS. He was talking about being lost on a road in Mississippi and the GPS told him to go down that road and he didn’t want to go. (I have some thoughts on this after living there for years; assuming it was not a white neighborhood.) Some other guy’s GPS told him to go through a cow pasture. Sometimes that GPS is lost as well. He’s talking about knocking on doors up north. They haven’t heard a whole lot. Some people say they’re Catholic and they’re not changing. He says, well he’s a Baptist and there’s only one way to heaven and that’s through the blood of Jesus. 

If you have to argue about your salvation, just get saved. Seek God while he can be found. 

Having money to pay your bills is a good thing but it’s not the most important thing. He’s hoping to go on vacation in December for $59 for 3 days. But vacation isn’t the most important thing in life. He doesn’t have a job and people might feel sorry for him but he’s been taken care of this year (Becky says amen). 

He believes if you’re saved you should give to the church. It doesn’t have anything to do with your salvation. They have to give their 10%. He used to work a public job in Brunswick county with his daddy. He didn’t care about the pay or the overtime, he just wanted to work so he didn’t have to go to church. That’s what lost people do. 

They was talking about someone being a sodomite last night cuz they had an earring in their ear on one side. I can’t understand what he says after that. He talks about the people who have to go to work this week and expect to get paid. He says he’s glad he doesn’t have to pay his way to Heaven. (Well good, because if he did he would never get there.) You go to a restaurant and you eat at that restaurant and you tell the waitress you’re ready to pay, and she tells you it’s already been paid. We can talk about the Catholics, Methodists, Presbyterians, all trying to work their way to heaven. There’s a lot of Baptists who are trying to work their way to heaven. If they have to work their way to heaven, he’s trying to figure out why Jesus went to the cross. 

Becky tells about her testimony and it’s different than his testimony. She doesn’t remember the date. He’s trying to make sure you know you’re saved. He’s talking about the Holy Ghost, not some spooky stuff. He knows some preachers who say, just pray in your pew and it’s all right. If you’re ashamed to tell people you’re saved there’s a issue. Two Sundays ago he was in PA and a young man got saved and people asked him what happened and he wasn’t ashamed to say it. He had never been there before. If you can’t do that then Bro doubts your salvation. 

Bro believes a religious person does a whole lot more damage to the gospel than a religious person (?) something about the hymns. He had it all memorized but that’s not what was going to get him to heaven. 

My cat just jumped on my desk and it’s harder to type now. Now my other cat just jumped up. There are still 18 more minutes to this video and it’s 1 am. I will try to finish tomorrow. I need bed. It late. 

BroScreaming.png

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40 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

He thinks all preachers should be saved. 

I suppose it's not technically a job requirement but... that whole story is a bit wtf, not to mention urban myth. 

44 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

He used to work a public job in Brunswick county with his daddy. He didn’t care about the pay or the overtime, he just wanted to work so he didn’t have to go to church. That’s what lost people do

Yeah pretty sure "don't want to go to church" is not most people's primary reason for working. Would be interested to know why he lost that job though.

48 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

Having money to pay your bills is a good thing but it’s not the most important thing

Well it's a lot less stressful than having to grift it every time. I kind of feel most of this is him justifying his underemployment.

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People go to work in order to avoid church? Say what? Church services don’t run 9-5 every day, five days a week. Many do work on a Sunday, but there are usually other service times or they find their own way to worship. 

Most people work because they *have* to, Gary, primarily for financial reasons. And even if it was possible for a couple/family to live off one income, a lot of people work because... gasp... they ENJOY it. They get satisfaction from a good day’s work, they like their colleagues, they get to do what they love, whatever. I could go on here. 

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8 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

People go to work in order to avoid church? Say what? 

Ok folks it may be necessary for Gary's friends to do that . More advanced specimens can simply avoid church at will, even if it's their day off.

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I am guessing he was working to avoid church because his dad was (is) the pastor.  He didn't have an excuse otherwise

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4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Most people work because they *have* to, Gary, primarily for financial reasons. And even if it was possible for a couple/family to live off one income, a lot of people work because... gasp... they ENJOY it. They get satisfaction from a good day’s work, they like their colleagues, they get to do what they love, whatever.

Let's not forget: they provide others with goods and services people actually need or want.

This is one of the things that burns me up about people like Gary and the Rodrigueses. They not only think they are providing something of value, they think they are providing the ultimate service -- guide to salvation.

I always find myself wanting to quote Mel Brooks, near the end of The Critic: "drive a truck, do something constructive - make a shoe!" Mel is playing a character criticizing someone making artsy-fartsy films, but it applies even more to these useless grifters.

I am not a believer, so religious interpretation, ritual or comfort is not something I seek. But I've attended religious services, conducted a church choir, and had clergy as acquaintances. I see how hard-working, decent clergy members do their jobs.

The rabbi at my childhood synagogue was a gentle, educated man who focused on ethics and our responsibility in the world, and the cantor, who was a concentration camp survivor, sang with the skill of an opera star and incredible emotion.

The clergy I've known went to school, and were willing to have others guide them and make the final decision about whether they were ready to guide others. They applied for jobs at places of worship, and had to earn the trust of the people there.

To their congregations, they provided advice, comfort, intellectual stimulation, and a thousand other things Gary is not remotely capable of understanding, let alone providing. They were part of the rituals of life -- at sickbeds and deathbeds, weddings, baby-namings and baptisms, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, confirmations, and funerals. They were part of a community, caring and actually helping, through years and years.  And sometimes, they lit a fire under someone, and pushed them to be more ethical - they knew that can be done without fire and brimstone and the threat of hell.

These shitheads who breeze in, scream, caterwaul and then hold their hands out for money make a mockery of the whole concept of work, and of preaching.

And I know you all know this -- I just needed to blow off steam about it! :my_blush:

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Bro Gary is pondering the depths of the great tar pit of theology or something.  Whatever it is Bros flying monkeys agree with him.

Spoiler

060DC01B-A3CE-4890-8860-5F793C5E61A4.thumb.png.5e919610f9ff427909ea5d61aaf9ed77.png

 

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He hasn't been pondering anything.  If someone said "no" I am sure Gary would be happy to tell them how wrong they were.

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But....BUT Bro says he was pondering so he must of been!!  Only ebil libural woemans who are puppets of Sayun would say otherwise.  ?  ?

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1 hour ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

But....BUT Bro says he was pondering so he must of been!!  Only ebil libural woemans who are puppets of Sayun would say otherwise.  ?  ?

So so tempted to set up a poe account and go argue that eating pork is sinful and worshipping on Saturday is the only true way. It Bible.

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

These shitheads who breeze in, scream, caterwaul and then hold their hands out for money make a mockery of the whole concept of work, and of preaching.

These UNDEREDUCATED preachers I really find odd. And I'm not meaning in the school sense here (also Bro Gary definitely fits that too) - pretty much every pastor or rabbi undergoes years of theological study at the very least, whether through a college or apprenticeship. (I'm less sure about Islam or other religions, but I suspect it's similar). Bro Gary and similar do none of the hard work with communities, they basically want fame and fortune for knowing a very small amount of the Bible.

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Hmmm . . . it's October . . . I bet he's talking about Trunk or Treat and church harvest festivals.

C'mon, Bro -- say what you really mean.

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I just checked out the facebook page of Becky's 2nd oldest daughter.  She works at a store and is on track to graduate college next semester (don't know what she is studying or what kind of degree) and last week she posted a very sweet tribute to her dad 

Quote

Just wanted to take a second to say how thankful I am for my dad ❤️. You are always there when I need you, and you always help me. You told me to follow my dreams and never give up on them. Since starting college you have encouraged me and helped me along the way. It’s hard to believe I will be graduating next semester! I love you so much and I’m so blessed to have you as my father.

  No mention of mom.  Her daughter is so fortunate to have a parent who actually has her best interest at heart and supports her in whatever she decides to do.  Gary and Becky are so selfish and I am worried for his poor boys who still live with them.. 

 

24 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Hmmm . . . it's October . . . I bet he's talking about Trunk or Treat and church harvest festivals.

C'mon, Bro -- say what you really mean.

I bet you are correct!

 

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9 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

People go to work in order to avoid church? Say what? Church services don’t run 9-5 every day, five days a week. Many do work on a Sunday, but there are usually other service times or they find their own way to worship. 

Most people work because they *have* to, Gary, primarily for financial reasons. And even if it was possible for a couple/family to live off one income, a lot of people work because... gasp... they ENJOY it. They get satisfaction from a good day’s work, they like their colleagues, they get to do what they love, whatever. I could go on here. 

I worked on Sunday because the pay was time and a half.   (Full disclosure-i wouldn't go to church anyway.)

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I'm going to try to get on Bro's wavelength here.  I must be feeling a bit masochistic. 

If the word "moron" was changed to "genius", a person previously deemed a moron would still not be very bright.

The church can, I suppose, attempt to redefine sin and/or call it by another name.  It then becomes a matter of interpretation.  Can't say I'm interested in the church's interpretation and I certainly wouldn't trust Bro's.

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17 hours ago, PumaLover said:

He’s read the Bible a couple times.

I adore your recaps.  And sometimes, for some reason, one sentence sticks out and makes me laugh like a hyena. 

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3 hours ago, Dana723 said:

I adore your recaps.  And sometimes, for some reason, one sentence sticks out and makes me laugh like a hyena. 

Aw, thank you so much. I do what I can. :D Still trying to get all those fundie/fundie lite days behind me, where they belong.

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Gary went live a little bit ago.  I am going to attempt to recap it.  I don't dare check them out when he is actually live but it is over now so here goes:

He starts off all of his live videos by saying he is "waiting to see if anyone signs on".  Does he know that you don't have to watch it live to see  the videos?  They are about to head up to West Virginia for a few days (presumably to visit Becky's kids) and then on to another meeting.  He heard a preacher the other night and Gary believes that America can be found in the Bible (wow.. ok).  He isn't there to argue if you don't agree that America can be found in the bible but he is here to make a point: American needs Jesus.  He can tell you places all over that need Jesus.  Lots of churches but just because "they got a steeple don't mean it's a good church"  He told a guy last night at "walmarts" from a cable company that he doesn't have a TV.  He got to talking to the guy who told Gary he was a Catholic. Gary said "well I am a Baptist and he was tryin to get me to read some Catholic book and I said No sir I am not interested I have a KJB that works for me"  He use this as an example that America needs Jesus.  Gary tried to convince him that "Jesus is the way" but the guy was ready to get rid of him when Gary "wouldn't take his book, wouldn't take his internet, wouldn't take his television.

It makes  Gary upset that people don't want to come out of their comfort zone to move to a church that isn't nearby to be a preacher.  He can imagine what it does to God.  (he has a very disappointed look on his face).  Tells you to go get a job where the church is.  (sure it is so easy to uproot lives Gary).  Check out the video at 7:25.  He puts on his best acting skills to mock people who  don't want to move away.  He addresses people who say he should go do it.  He shouts that he is doing it!!!  He has the gospel tent that he takes everywhere.  He is blabbering on about about how people need to pastor those churches.   

America is going to hell and needs Jesus.  Some people say he is trying to make a name for himself with these videos.  Nope he isn't promoting Gary. "would you not be willing to go somewhere to start a church, take a church, keep a church alive?"  He sounds just like those commercials with the starving kids or abused animals!

blah blah blah

"Forget about the money situation, forget about the living situation.  If god wants you to go somewhere I believe it will work out".  (says the grifter)  Gary believes "we doin the mission program all wrong".  OMG go to 15:00 and watch him@@@  God is puking his guts out because everyone is fighting. 

Gary just took on another missionary to suport (HOW??)  He is still talking about comfort zones.  Lots of places need Jesus.  North, wast and northwest (OH! PLEASE COME TO CALIFORNIA!  AMEN).  Gary wants us to share this video (you're welcome Gary). 

We don't have long to get people to Jesus because the lord is coming soon.  "you say, what if we have another year.  Then we have 365 we could get something done to learn about god and get the gospel out."   (WOW does he think Jesus is really coming this soon??) 

People cuss , blow their horns and swear at Gary when he has the tent up.  (OMG his message tone is DONALD TRUMP 25:44)   Gary tells a story about how on "Monday night a preacher was preaching and when he got down to the salvation part, the deacon of the church, he says "I am not sure I got what he said.  I am not sure I am saved".  Later that night I read on Facebook that he got saved.  A deacon of a church".  Ugh there are 2 minutes left and I am not sure I can make it.   LOL he stops in the middle of speaking to look at a text message and then says "I shouldn't have read that, I should have read it later, but I did".  He was slightly mouthing the words from the text as he was reading it.  Gary is heading to get a checkup at the doctor.  It has been 2 years.  Wow he just gave out his phone # and email address.  And now he just got his 3rd text message in 5 minutes. 

 

Edited by keepercjr
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Cross stitch fans, I think that bit at minute 15:00 is a contender:

"Maybe you can see all the puke you made God puke out because you thought you was somebody." (tooth suck) "Haymayun."

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10 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

What is haymayun supposed to mean? Hey man? Amen? Hay May One? Hi Mum?

Pretty sure it’s amen. Sometimes he says it as HAYMAYUN (my phone has that saved in caps), with three syllables, and sometimes it’s more like amen with an h at the start, so like HAYMEN. A lot of the comments on his videos are just people saying “amen brother”. I understand people in the congregation saying that when they particularly agree with something, but because it’s Bro Gary he likes to shout it himself whilst still preaching. 

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I think that one day, when he was first learning to preach, Bro Gary yelled out the traditional "Can I get an Amen?" And, instead of this:

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/221847e5-6217-419e-bf26-84fc6ff7b2b6

he got crickets. Silence. Nada. Zilch. Maybe a little child piping up "No."

So, he just started "Amenning" himself! Very clever, Gary, eliminating the middleman like that.

 

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16 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I think that one day, when he was first learning to preach, Bro Gary yelled out the traditional "Can I get an Amen?" And, instead of this:

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/221847e5-6217-419e-bf26-84fc6ff7b2b6

he got crickets. Silence. Nada. Zilch. Maybe a little child piping up "No."

So, he just started "Amenning" himself! Very clever, Gary, eliminating the middleman like that.

 

He also does the "good preachin!" and "That's some good preachin' if I do say so myself!"

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OK folks, I have questions. Why doesn't Bro take this job if this is such a good church? I'm assuming because of the second to last line, "probably going to have to work some." He just wants the money given to him.

Also I love the line, if all you are looking for is money don't contact him. (He spelled all that part correctly!)

goodchurch.png

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On 9/30/2019 at 12:25 AM, mango_fandango said:

GAG GAG GAG

Now that is something I cannot unsee.

Praise be to Rufus, the thought of Gary in a "sexy pose" is well beyond my big imagination..:brainbleach:

On 9/30/2019 at 12:26 AM, Dana723 said:

With a ween hanging suggestively between his lips...

Now you're just being mean...

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