Alyssa and John 4: SOTDRT Next Generation

[Dandruff]

35 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

At this point, I see them trying for the boy, but stopping at 4 kids, no matter the sex of #4. John's siblings are not quiverful.

I also think they'll try for a boy, at least once if Alyssa is able, but won't have more than five or six kids.

[FaithAndReason]

There are key phrases that gives all these fundies an "out" in different situations. So Alyssa says, three "for now". Well...that could mean next baby happens today, or next week, or in January, or never. It's completely non-committal and keeps quiverfull humpers happy and non-quiverfull followers happy because they will interpret it through their own lens. As demonstrated on on FJ when people right away say "I knew she was done! Yes they are preventing".....but quiverfull fundies can say "oh she's open to more just as she should be". Alyssa is off the hook in having to commit to what she really means because those that follow her are all busy interpreting her words their own way.  She hasn't really told us anything but we are acting like she has. 

 

Also, they (Bates, and most fundies, it seems) always act shocked when they get pregnant.  I think we need to dial back the idea that Alyssa and John were NFP with the first three just because she said she was surprised. Unless they tell us that they are NFP, condom, or any other form, I will never believe they are preventing. Surprise is their modus operandi  (this does not include this time period with her heart issues. I do believe they are preventing somehow as per doctors orders)

[19tacos&counting]

I think they will stop for a while, I’d be really surprised if we see an announcement until mid to late 2020. Alyssa had her surgery late August, so let’s say she is waiting 6 months to make sure it doesn’t come back. That’s late February. A few months to actually get pregnant, then 12+ weeks late announcement. I’m guessing August 2020 and baby due February 202. I can only hope!!  I would be shocked if they had a few more surprises along the way. Maybe 6-7 total kids

[lumpentheologie]

Well, Alyssa just posted a preview to a professional photo shoot in her story.  I was on team #preventingformedicalreasons but now I'm not so sure.  Duggar Data recently predicted an Aug. 10th announcement.  Please rufus, no babies yet! 

[Audrey2]

I think it was mentioned here that the meds Alyssa would be on cause birth issues. I wonder how Alyssa (or many of the other Fundies we talk about) would handle a child with significant disabilities? I'm sure we'd get lots of anti-abortion posts before the child is born, but Alyssa seems to love to post pictures of her perfect Fundie family.

[HermioneSparrow]

43 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

I think it was mentioned here that the meds Alyssa would be on cause birth issues. I wonder how Alyssa (or many of the other Fundies we talk about) would handle a child with significant disabilities? I'm sure we'd get lots of anti-abortion posts before the child is born, but Alyssa seems to love to post pictures of her perfect Fundie family.

To be fair to Alyssa, she's the type of person I think would actually make sure her disabled child is well taken care off. But imagine Erin having a kid with a disability, she often complains (and doesn't favor) poor Brooklyn for being a handful and a willful child and she's a perfectly healthy girl... 

[Angelface]

I hope that Brooklyn retains her feisty spirit and isn’t forced into the meek and mild/ keep sweet mould that Erin would prefer. A few more strong willed and determined children who refuse to toe the party line would be great. Maybe Erin would decide that she could stop having children. Unlikely but one can always hope. 

[SassyPants]

How many times has Erin been pregnant since she’s been married? I know that she has been married the same number of years as my daughter, and my daughter has 1 child, and is years older than Erin. Erin is going to keep getting pregnant until her uterus falls out. I just can not imagine her life or life plan at all. It is not healthy or financially sustainable. 

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

I think it was mentioned here that the meds Alyssa would be on cause birth issues. I wonder how Alyssa (or many of the other Fundies we talk about) would handle a child with significant disabilities? I'm sure we'd get lots of anti-abortion posts before the child is born, but Alyssa seems to love to post pictures of her perfect Fundie family.

I'm worried with fundies dealing with mental disorders or with kids on the spectrum. But when it comes to a child with an obvious disability (specially physical, but also situations like down syndrome), I think they act as non-fundie parents. And it means that some of them would neglect the child and others would do their best. 

Having a kid with a signifiant disability won't be worse for Alyssa than for you or me. It's hard, no matter if you like posting *perfect* pictures or you hate make-up. Loving and accepting the kid has non relation with being a groomed person or a messy one. Now Alyssa has the time to play with outfits, as other parents have time to do other activities. Once a very sick or disabled baby comes, life goals change. 

I see Whitney and Alyssa taking the issue seriously. Josie, probably too. Erin, not too much. Carlin... hard to say, probably would create a big IG for her special baby. I don't know why, Erin strikes me as the most probable to think that prayers will be enough and not bother with therapies. But maybe I'm wrong (I hope so).

 

[HermioneSparrow]

2 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

I'm worried with fundies dealing with mental disorders or with kids on the spectrum. But when it comes to a child with an obvious disability (specially physical, but also situations like down syndrome), I think they act as non-fundie parents. And it means that some of them would neglect the child and others would do their best. 

Having a kid with a signifiant disability won't be worse for Alyssa than for you or me. It's hard, no matter if you like posting *perfect* pictures or you hate make-up. Loving and accepting the kid has non relation with being a groomed person or a messy one. Now Alyssa has the time to play with outfits, as other parents have time to do other activities. Once a very sick or disabled baby comes, life goals change. 

I see Whitney and Alyssa taking the issue seriously. Josie, probably too. Erin, not too much. Carlin... hard to say, probably would create a big IG for her special baby. I don't know why, Erin strikes me as the most probable to think that prayers will be enough and not bother with therapies. But maybe I'm wrong (I hope so).

 

That is exactly my perception of Erin. She'll probably ignore the issue and let Brooklyn and Everly deal with their "buddy".

[Melissa1977]

9 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

How many times has Erin been pregnant since she’s been married? I know that she has been married the same number of years as my daughter, and my daughter has 1 child, and is years older than Erin. Erin is going to keep getting pregnant until her uterus falls out. I just can not imagine her life or life plan at all. It is not healthy or financially sustainable. 

 3 early miscarriages, 3 kids and #4 due in december.

She will have the biggest family out of all the Bates 2nd generation.

[nelliebelle1197]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

 3 early miscarriages, 3 kids and #4 due in december.

She will have the biggest family out of all the Bates 2nd generation.

It is waaaay to early to predict that yet. Her younger sisters are well on their way!

[Audrey2]

For me (at least now), who will have the biggest family will depend on how fast Torie, Josie, and Carlin get pregnant with numbers two, three, and four. I look at someone like Jill Duggar, who was pregnant right away, but then had a gap between Izzy and Samuel, probably partly because of a c-section for Izzy vs someone like the Duggar adjacent Sierra, who seems to be pregnant a lot.

[CaptainFunderpants]

On 10/5/2019 at 6:41 PM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Thank you! I couldn't remember why the name sounded familiar. ?

It sounds like Stroopwafel, so she has to be good ??

[JillyO]

Someone asked about all the matching outfits on Alyssa's Instagram again, and she responded with this:

Quote

websterforever

@travelingafar the matching dresses over the last few months have been gifted to us by the sweetest friend @tikky_pantilavillarreal She has sent a new matching outfit almost every week.

Someone sent her 3-4 matching outfits (this week, she wore a dress that matches the girls') almost every week for the past few months?! That's... not at all normal friend behavior. I know the Bateses are all grifters, but even for a grifting family, that must get old at some point. How many matchy matchy outfits can you possibly "need?"

On a side note, the account she linked to is set to private and is definitely not a business account, so this isn't some tit-for-tat, I-send-you-free-clothes-for-publicity kind of situation.

ETA: Just saw another comment from the friend that keeps sending the outfits. Someone asked her if she made the outfits herself and if she has an online shop. She said this:

Quote

tikky_pantilavillarreal

@1hasantos Hi, I bought them online.

Seriously. Who buys 3-4 outfits online and sends them to a friend every week for months on end?

Sorry if I sound a little obsessed, but this is just completely flabbergasting to me! It sounds more like stalker behavior than like something a friend would do.

Edited October 8, 2019 by JillyO

[Iamtheway]

That is super weird. How rich is this woman? And why is she spending her money on Alyssa and her kids? I’d be a bit scared if I was Alyssa. 

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, Iamtheway said:

That is super weird. How rich is this woman? And why is she spending her money on Alyssa and her kids? I’d be a bit scared if I was Alyssa. 

She also sends clothes to Josie.

Weird, weird. Strange. Scaring.

On a side note, I wonder if Erin has envy of that. She also has cute girls, but not free matching dresses are sent.

[formergothardite]

7 hours ago, JillyO said:

Sorry if I sound a little obsessed, but this is just completely flabbergasting to me! It sounds more like stalker behavior than like something a friend would do.

It sounds very stalkerish behavior! If I had a friend I knew in real life doing that I would be setting up boundaries, but an internet friend?! This sounds like a super obsessed Bates fan who wormed her way into their lives. 

But with the way they were raised it isn't surprising they think this is ok. They were raised to see people as objects to exploit and that they deserve free stuff just by existing, so this probably seems normal to them. But I would think the husbands would be giving this the side eye. 

[Iamtheway]

1-2 sets of matching outfits: Aw how nice! Thank you!

3 and above (if the giver had girls that they loved to dress in matching clothes that they are now passing on): Thank you! That’s lovely. I’ll return them so you can keep them for your daughters. 

3 and above (when the giver is buying the outfits): Thanks, but no thanks. Please step away from my children!

[irish_dancing_canadian]

No kids need that amount of clothing. If I had kids and someone was sending me that much I would tell them to stop and would end up donating most of it. I hope Alyssa ends up doing that, and I hope she chills out on having babies for now so she can fully heal. Heart problems are not something to mess with. 

[Curious]

I think some people just have a lot of disposable income and maybe they like being "mentioned" on popular social media accounts.

I follow a number of artists, colorists, crafters, etc on Youtube and some other platforms and almost all of them get "happy mail" which is stuff people who watch them send them.  There is a lovely woman in one of the groups and she sends the YTer hundreds of dollars worth of coloring books (mostly ones that are harder to get in the US), colored pencils, markers, etc.

I kind of think it's just pretty widely accepted now.  For the coloring groups, it's not grifting per se, IMO.  They are usually sharing their skill for free in terms of tutorials, live chats, color alongs, etc.  They are actually using the things they are being sent and aren't actively soliciting for anything.

I think it's maybe a little different to be sending clothes EVERY week, but if you have the money to do it, I guess that is your great privilege. 

[Screamapillar]

I feel silly at times for buying my own children one or two unnecessary outfits here and there just because they're cute and I can't resist.

I can't imagine doing that for kids that aren't your own or your grandkids or nieces and not feeling like you're maybe a little ridiculous and/or crazy. And every week?! Bizarre.

Knowing the kind of crazy fundies attracts, maybe Alyssa's friend sees it as her spiritual mission to keep these godly girls in matching outfits.

[kmachete14]

Just wanted to chime in that 5-6 kids is still pretty "normal" in many suburbs. Usually, its people with more money than these two seem to have, but when compared to your crazy mother, plus the many large, wealthy families, 5-6 kids isn't *that* many. 

Anyways my point is you could actually use prevention methods and still have 6 kids as planned ones! 

 

 

 

[irish_dancing_canadian]

On 10/8/2019 at 6:13 PM, kmachete14 said:

Just wanted to chime in that 5-6 kids is still pretty "normal" in many suburbs. Usually, its people with more money than these two seem to have, but when compared to your crazy mother, plus the many large, wealthy families, 5-6 kids isn't *that* many. 

Anyways my point is you could actually use prevention methods and still have 6 kids as planned ones! 

 

 

 

Yep, I know a family who is well off and they have 5 daughters. All the girls had lessons of their own choice ranging from dance, to hockey, to basketball etc. Now 3 of the girls are in university. I think if the parents didnt have good jobs then people would snark on the families choice. 

[Johannah]

Do you think this “friend” bought the matching zebra print dress for Alyssa too?

I feel like this could veer into creepy territory quickly. Seems like a potential power trip - someone getting off on knowing they get to dictate what these girls wear and knowing it will show up in the Sunday family church photo on Instagram every week. ?