Seewalds 42: Trying to Stay Relevant

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, nst said:

i don't think giving her history it's cute at all. 

but hey that is me. 

I have not seen the pic yet, what is wrong with it?

[marmalade]

I think it's the placement of Henry's hands on Ivy's naked chest (both kids are just wearing diapers). I wouldn't have even noticed if someone else hadn't brought it up. It's a big nothingburger as far as I'm concerned. The kid is two, not 15.

Edited October 2, 2019 by marmalade
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[princessmahina]

3 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I think it's the placement of Henry's hands on Ivy's chest. I wouldn't have even noticed if someone else hadn't brought it up. It's a big nothingburger as far as I'm concerned. The kid is two, not 15.

Thank you for clearing that up! My mind never would have gone in that direction. You’re right that it’s nothing to be concerned about— he’s a tiny child awkwardly propping up an infant. 

[Kailash]

2 hours ago, nst said:

i don't think giving her history it's cute at all. 

but hey that is me. 

I think the fact that you somehow think it’s inappropriate? gross? wrong? that a toddler is holding his baby sister like that  says more about you than it does about Jessa. I do think it’s for the best that you unfollowed her though.

[Daisy0322]

I really think It's cute. Coming from someone who was molested by 2 family members I get it's hard some times to seperate though. I have to remind myself  with things like that it's an innocent picture at times because my mind tends to jump to danger butvthats my shit making me not feel safe.  there was nothing sexual about me as a toddler just like there's  nothing sexual about them. I actually think it's good Jessa isn't hyper sexulizing her children.  Now would i post a pic like this on social media no, absolutely not. I don't post pictures of my child(ren) doing or wearing anything I'd be uncomfortable with if it was me and I wouldn't want pictures of myself in the bath tub or sick etc online.... I would send it to grandmas and put it in the family album though. 

[CarrotCake]

Coming from a family where even toddler girls cannot wear pants because it is not modest, I would say that this diaper picture is actually a good sign. She is portraying them as the children they are.

[nst]

8 hours ago, Kailash said:

I think the fact that you somehow think it’s inappropriate? gross? wrong? that a toddler is holding his baby sister like that  says more about you than it does about Jessa. I do think it’s for the best that you unfollowed her though.

Wow - make me the insane one. Thanks

seriously

I find it it unsettling because I guess 

a)  i don't have kids and don't need to see naked children on the internet at the office. 

b) Jessa went through Jessa went through nuff said. I don't need to rehash THAT. 

but seriously wow - you don't know even know how much I posted about Jessa in the past....

gone are the days where Jessa was fun to snark on that is the bottom line 

 

 

 

btw  you never know how many images i still have to delete of her

and will I keep Ben's biceps images 

Edited October 2, 2019 by nst

[closetcagebaby]

31 minutes ago, nst said:

btw  you never know how many images i still have to delete of her 

I don’t know if I’m missing something, but this comes off as very creepy and yikes. ?

[VineHeart137]

34 minutes ago, nst said:

Wow - make me the insane one. Thanks

seriously

I find it it unsettling because I guess 

a)  i don't have kids and don't need to see naked children on the internet at the office. 

b) Jessa went through Jessa went through nuff said. I don't need to rehash THAT. 

but seriously wow - you don't know even know how much I posted about Jessa in the past....

gone are the days where Jessa was fun to snark on that is the bottom line 

 

 

 

btw  you never know how many images i still have to delete of her

and will I keep Ben's biceps images 

I'm honestly so confused. If a picture of a toddler/baby in a diaper (they are not naked) is a problem at your office then I would venture to say you should probably not be scrolling through Instagram while you are at the office? I also don't understand what you mean by "Jessa went through". Are you saying that because she was molested as a child she should not allow her toddler son to hold his baby sister without a shirt on? She should see her sons as potential sex offenders and not let them just be kids?

There is nothing inappropriate about a toddler holding his baby sister in a diaper. It honestly took me forever to figure out what you were finding so offensive about the photos (I would probably still be wondering if someone upthread hadn't figured it out). My mind did not go there at all. That said, there's nothing wrong with unfollowing Jessa, and if you really do have tons of pictures of her stored on your phone or whatever then that's probably a good thing to take a step back.

[Blessings of the Corn]

3 hours ago, nst said:

Wow - make me the insane one. Thanks

seriously

I find it it unsettling because I guess 

a)  i don't have kids and don't need to see naked children on the internet at the office. 

b) Jessa went through Jessa went through nuff said. I don't need to rehash THAT. 

but seriously wow - you don't know even know how much I posted about Jessa in the past....

gone are the days where Jessa was fun to snark on that is the bottom line 

 

 

 

btw  you never know how many images i still have to delete of her

and will I keep Ben's biceps images 

Wow, you're kind of gross and what you're saying about innocent children is plain creepy.

[nst]

1 hour ago, Blessings of the Corn said:

Wow, you're kind of gross and what you're saying about innocent children is plain creepy.

I mean come on

all I am saying is that I didn't like the damn  photo so i unfollowed her not a huge big deal

again I don't have kids

seriously get over it

yes it was fun to snark when she was dating Ben - now who cares after 3 kids and diaper changes.

my opinion free and cheap

end of story

 

 

 

4 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

I'm honestly so confused. If a picture of a toddler/baby in a diaper (they are not naked) is a problem at your office then I would venture to say you should probably not be scrolling through Instagram while you are at the office? I also don't understand what you mean by "Jessa went through". Are you saying that because she was molested as a child she should not allow her toddler son to hold his baby sister without a shirt on? She should see her sons as potential sex offenders and not let them just be kids?

There is nothing inappropriate about a toddler holding his baby sister in a diaper. It honestly took me forever to figure out what you were finding so offensive about the photos (I would probably still be wondering if someone upthread hadn't figured it out). My mind did not go there at all. That said, there's nothing wrong with unfollowing Jessa, and if you really do have tons of pictures of her stored on your phone or whatever then that's probably a good thing to take a step back.

i think personally because i don't have kids and I am so over Jessa and her life that I just decided to unfollow her

her posting about spurge doing laundry and counting

i really don't care anymore

end of story.

4 hours ago, closetcagebaby said:

I don’t know if I’m missing something, but this comes off as very creepy and yikes. ?

you clearly weren't here during Jill's endless labour

it's mean to be as FREAKING joke

good lord.

Edited October 2, 2019 by nst

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

10 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Coming from a family where even toddler girls cannot wear pants because it is not modest, I would say that this diaper picture is actually a good sign. She is portraying them as the children they are.

I have found it funny to see Gideon running around in just a diaper or in a diaper and tshirt or pants and no shirt, hell even in shorts, JB & M are so uptight we never even saw the toddlers in shorts even in the heat of summer. 

 

[Kak]

I wouldn't post a photo like that of my kids.  Privacy/ consent etc.

 I agree with @nst that it's a strange thing for Jessa to do, it's not what I expect from her at all. Mostly because, as @allthegoodnamesrgone says, her parents are so uptight. 

 

[SassyPants]

What I find so interesting is that babies, no matter how large they Are when they are born, will morph into whatever they are going to be as babies and then change again as they become more active. For example, Ivy was a very average size at birth, yet at near 3 months Jessa mentioned that she weighed 16 lbs...she basically doubled her birthweight in 3 months time. She is a butterball. Where as Gideon was huge at birth and then became a skinny baby and now looks about averaged size. How do babies do that? They are all basically fed the same thing. My nephew was over 9 lbs at birth,  born weeks before my 7 lb daughter. He was so skinny as a baby, and my daughter was certainly on the rounder side.  Metabolism? Jessa and Ben have chunky monkey babies, and they all favor each other in one way or another!

[BlondeIdol]

I saw the picture in question and while I’d be lying if I didn’t think of you know what, Henry and Ivy are babies and the picture is completely innocent. I doubt any of that was in Jessa’s mind when she posted it.

Not something I’d post but I’m not Jessa. That is a family photo album picture as far I am concerned. 

Like many others have said above, I mostly find it strange because JB and Michelle were/are so uptight about what everyone wears. Even the babies. It’s been established though, that Jessa and some of the other kid Ulta are a lot less freaked out about certain things.

[Exposedknees]

It's a photo of 2 babies...it doesn't bother me.

As to fat shaming Ivy- breast fed babies usually double their weight in the 1st 3-4 months because boobs are joyfully accessible 24/7. Both my kids were little chonks with multiple chins at 3 months. They were average sized toddlers.  Bottle fed babies gain more than breast fed ones in the first year. However both breast and bottle fed babies even out weight wise by 18 months.  Just feed your babies whichever way works for your family...and get check ups. 

[SassyPants]

30 minutes ago, Exposedknees said:

It's a photo of 2 babies...it doesn't bother me.

As to fat shaming Ivy- breast fed babies usually double their weight in the 1st 3-4 months because boobs are joyfully accessible 24/7. Both my kids were little chonks with multiple chins at 3 months. They were average sized toddlers.  Bottle fed babies gain more than breast fed ones in the first year. However both breast and bottle fed babies even out weight wise by 18 months.  Just feed your babies whichever way works for your family...and get check ups. 

Really...can you source your numbers cited? I have never heard those stats that you quote here and I cared for sick babies and toddlers for 35 years. Double in 3-4 months? And bottle fed even MORE?

Edited October 3, 2019 by SassyPants

[VineHeart137]

19 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Really...can you source your numbers cited? I have never heard those stats that you quote here and I cared for sick babies and toddlers for 35 years. Double in 3-4 months? And bottle fed even MORE?

I hope it's ok that I jump in here! Both my babies were breastfed for over a year and yeah I actually do remember our pediatrician mentioning that babies generally double their birth weight by 4 or so months. Mine definitely did, they were chunks! These sites say the same thing.

https://americanpregnancy.org/first-year-of-life/newborn-weight-gain/

https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/weight-gain/

No idea about formula fed babies. But I vaguely remember reading somewhere that breastfed babies do tend to be leaner than formula fed babies after the first year.

[JDuggs]

I agree that Henry is an innocent two year old without bad intentions in this photo, but why post it for the world to see? Who wants pedophiles looking at public naked photos of their children? At what age would it be inappropriate to post photos of siblings in this exact pose? Would Jessa have posted a photo where Ivy’s nipples were showing? Was the placement of Henry’s hands actually keeping Ivy “modest?” If we would have seen a similar photo of Spurgeon and Henry together, this would seem less weird to me, but in a quick scan of Jessa’s instagram, I didn’t see one.

It just seems to me that as woman who was molested by her brother, Jessa shouldn’t want to have anyone’s thoughts go to any potential inappropriate relationship between her own children. If she defended Josh as just being a curious boy, will she have the same “no big deal” attitude about her own sons? As a woman who is still skirts only for modesty reasons, it seems inconsistent to have such a different view of what is acceptable for her own kids. And I know I would be pretty skeeved out as an adult if I ran across a similar photo on the internet of me and my brother as little children.

 

[LacyMay]

The photo could be seen as one that was better to keep private but it's also kind of cute. Sharing it at most was a minor social media faux pas. 

That said I've seen a few comments about how because Jessa was molested by Josh she should have known better than to post that or seen it as inappropriate or shown more concern. 

But it doesn't work like that. I'm pretty confident that Jessa doesn't think about what happened to her as a child on a day to day basis, I'm pretty sure it never crossed her mind to parallel that photo to Josh's actions. I was molested as a child and sexually assaulted in university. They were devestating experiences but I don't think about them every day, I don't put all of my actions through that lens. We have no reason to believe that Jessa or any of the other sisters do either. 

Surviving molestation as a child does not have to define the rest of her life. She is a real live human with many more facets to her than being victimized by her skeezy brother. 

[lumpentheologie]

This whole idea that Jessa should be held to some higher standard because she was molested as a kid kind of verges on victim blaming. She was a victim. She doesn't owe us or anyone anything because of it. It's gross to think she should be more careful or know better with her own kids, or that there's a burden on her to make the public not think of molestation. Seriously, who thinks of molestation from that pic? (I get that other survivors might, but otherwise that's just weird.) The problem in her childhood wasn't that toddlers and infants were hanging out in diapers together, the problem was Josh. 

And I find the idea of not posting pics of your kids in diapers because pedophiles might see them so strange. (I get other reasons people might not post those pics, but not this one.) Children don't need to be modest. You may as well argue that women shouldn't post pics of themselves looking hot because some stranger on the internet might masturbate to it. The thoughts perverts have is no one's responsibility but their own. And they will have them no matter how people are dressed. 

[Fundie Bunny]

Seripusly, what the actual fuck. It's a picture of two babies. With diapers on, you can't see genitals. Are you actually so fucked up that you can't see a shirtless baby?

And again, really, fat shaming a baby, real classy and not weird at all

[just_ordinary]

12 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Really...can you source your numbers cited? I have never heard those stats that you quote here and I cared for sick babies and toddlers for 35 years. Double in 3-4 months? And bottle fed even MORE?

I think it might depend on the country and the average birth weight. It also comes down to which kind of formula you feed. In my country you are encouraged to give pre-milk when formula feeding and actually stay with it as long as your baby isn’t left hungry and is gaining weight at a good rate. All other formula milks (I think it goes pre, 1, 2, 3) have extra starch in it and are higher in calories. They should actually not be fed on demand but a bit more controlled because your baby might gain too much weight. 

So here many children never get the 1-3 milk but stay on pre because with bottles we often start introducing solids earlier than with breastfeeding (statistically).

I have to admit though that doubling birthweight in 3-4 months reads rather much to me. But this could totally be down to me only knowing babies who didn’t. Even the good eaters reached that earliest around 6 months (funny enough they all started with a weight below the average).

[Knight of Ni]

If your goal is to not post any picture that someone might find sexual, you will be better off not posting anything at all. I saw an article by Mara Wilson talking about her experience as a child actor. She said that when she was 12 she looked herself up on the internet and found a picture of her on a foot fetish website. (The fact that the site was dedicated to child actors is another level of disgusting.) 

 

[Sonic the Whoredgehog]

On 10/2/2019 at 8:40 AM, nst said:

Wow - make me the insane one. Thanks

seriously

I find it it unsettling because I guess 

a)  i don't have kids and don't need to see naked children on the internet at the office. 

b) Jessa went through Jessa went through nuff said. I don't need to rehash THAT. 

but seriously wow - you don't know even know how much I posted about Jessa in the past....

Nobody but yourself made you the insane one. It's good that you're removing her from your life, because you sound a little obsessive. 

You've mentioned several times that you don't have kids- wouldn't that give you less authority on this subject? Also, if you're on social media at the office, that's your problem. You can't tell people what to post to keep you from getting in trouble for goofing off at work. 

But the biggest problem I have with what you're saying, and the reason I'm "piling on" for the first time since I joined here, is that I think it's just so shallow and gross to act as if Jessa's entire life should be directed by her own victimization. And it's victim-blaming, whether you realize it or not. "She was molested as a child, why would she post a picture of her infant children in diapers?" sounds a whole lot like "She was raped, why is she wearing a short skirt?" You are not-so-subtly implying several troubling things:

1-She should see her children's bodies as sexual. 

2-She should see them as such because sexuality was forced on her at a young age.

3-If what she posted is inappropriate because she was victimized, then she is not adequately protecting her own children from victimization, and possibly even contributing. 

Do you not see the problem with your line of thought? I do agree in a small way that it's not the best practice to post pictures of children in states of undress, but that's for privacy reasons. Not because these images are anything other than innocent. I think in snark, once we've been doing it for a while it's very easy to react to anything our "favorite" fundies do with scorn and derision, without stopping to think about why we react that way, and whether or not that reaction was actually valid or appropriate. You would be better served by stopping to think than by doubling down and saying it was a "FREAKING joke", which I think we all know it wasn't.