Lori Alexander 69: cold, angry, mean and racist

[Sarah92]

Given that I have a bachelors in psychology and a Master in counseling I'd say I learned a lot about parenting and how to be a good spouse. I've also become far more patient, empathetic, and kind. Lori is the one who squandered her parents' gift. If my parents paid for my college I'd do everything I could to really learn from my classes. How can she preach about respecting parents when she constantly brags about learning nothing in college? I find that so rude and disrespectful. She'd throw a fit if one of her children did that. She'd attempt to beat them with a strap. She demands children respect their parents but cant be bothered to do the same. How sad. 

[hollyfeller]

Today's post about college spawned some comment gold.  I have so many screenshots to share!

First of all, a dude named "Daniel Postcucked" (I'll be he thinks that name is hilarious) doesn't like college.  Then Alyssa makes a great comparison to religion.

Spoiler

Second, Severine is a jerk (again). She admits that she went to college, but calls degrees "useless."  Then a lady rebukes her with some fantastic logic - something rarely seen on Lori's FB page.

Spoiler

Third, a woman named Venetia claims some opinions are more important than others.  I mean, duh, when it comes to Lori's page, but at least one person sees how stupid that is.

Spoiler

 

Oh, I almost forgot!  Here's more proof that Lori is paying to promote her posts on FB.

[onemama]

10 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Thought I would share this blog...

This lady has some conservative views that some won't agree with, but I find her overall to be encouraging and genuinely caring about women. 

laughhopethrive.com

Thanks for sharing that blog. I can relate to some of her stories, especially the angry mom one (I've been in a pile of tears, screaming at heaven....).  In my case, my anger was fueled by helplessness and a major dose of hormones, but I could have used her post to help me see that God wasn't angry at me, that my anger wasn't who I was but a product of what was going on inside of me. 

A blog like hers can be very encouraging, something that Lori's, with her disdain of women and her (apparent) lack of a living relationship with God, will never be.  

ETA: the submission posts... well, while much better than Lori's, are still a list of rules based on a relationship of "leader" and "follower" and the dance between them.  I disagree with her understanding of that passage, the fixation on wifely submission and the way she quoted the passage starting at verse 22.  

Edited July 28, 2019 by onemama

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, onemama said:

Thanks for sharing that blog. I can relate to some of her stories, especially the angry mom one (I've been in a pile of tears, screaming at heaven....).  In my case, my anger was fueled by helplessness and a major dose of hormones, but I could have used her post to help me see that God wasn't angry at me, that my anger wasn't who I was but a product of what was going on inside of me. 

A blog like hers can be very encouraging, something that Lori's, with her disdain of women and her (apparent) lack of a living relationship with God, will never be.  

ETA: the submission posts... well, while much better than Lori's, are still a list of rules based on a relationship of "leader" and "follower" and the dance between them.  I disagree with her understanding of that passage, the fixation on wifely submission and the way she quoted the passage starting at verse 22.  

Glad you found something helpful there.  She has some views similar to Lori, however she gives helpful ideas and you can tell she really wants to build women up instead of tearing them down. 

Lori could have used the post on childishness instead of disobedience. I bet this lady never wacked her infants with a strap.

I don't see any gossip or talking trash about others either. 

[Petronella]

7 hours ago, hollyfeller said:

Second, Severine is a jerk (again). She admits that she went to college, but calls degrees "useless."  Then a lady rebukes her with some fantastic logic - something rarely seen on Lori's FB page.

  Hide contents

 

I get that the argument is that a stay-at-home-wife won't "need" to use college-level education, but what about a homeschooling mom? How about a homeschooling mom of sons, since they seem to care a *little* about men being educated? I mean, I think education is both useful and enjoyable for all states of being, but surely EVEN THEY, with all the limitations they try to enforce, should see that the family's PRIMARY TEACHER could make a wee bit of use of her own education?

I like Jackie Russo's deft handling of Severine, but I'm wincing at her "hop[ing] to never have to use [her] degree or certification" which I'm pretty sure she means to mean "I hope my husband is alive and well and employed and faithful to our family for the rest of our whole lives, and therefore I will be able to continue being a full-time homemaker." Which, yes, that is very good to hope for indeed, and she's smart also to plan in the back of her mind for the heartbreaking alternatives. But...why does education always have to equal a job to these people? Why can't she "use" her education in educating her children, in volunteer work, in a hobby? How about just to expand her awareness and understanding of life and the world and her place in it as she goes about her day?

Defining "not using your education" as "not having a job in a role with the exact name of your major" is depressingly narrow.

Edited July 28, 2019 by Petronella

[louisa05]

36 minutes ago, Petronella said:

 

Defining "not using your education" as "not having a job in a role with the exact name of your major" is depressingly narrow.

That is what we've defined education down to in the U.S. now, though. People see college/university education as a means to employment and nothing more--and the higher income that employment provides the better. High school is even beginning to be viewed that way, too. Anything that isn't  perceived as useful for a potential scholarship or required for college is seen as unnecessary. Teachers are asked to think in terms of how kids can use skills in college or the workplace more than to think in terms of how kids are developing. 

Education for any reason beyond future financial success is not valued by very many people. 

Edited July 28, 2019 by louisa05

[SweetLaurel]

27 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Education for any reason beyond future financial success is not valued by very many people. 

I disagree with this.  One - most people need to eat and have a roof, etc,  so education for financial success is greatly valued for very practical reasons.  Well, maybe outside of the lalala million dollar land Lori lives in.   Tho I bet most of the other women around there are educated well.  Plus Lori herself 'claims' to do hours of research every day for her idiotic posts.  I don't believe that, but she says it, so apparently values some learning of some sort.  

 Also, though, in my community, and I'm sure many many others there are a lot of non credit course offered from the local college, plus the library and the ag center and banks and stock broker offices, SCORE,  pet stores and lumber yards who offer classes on many varieties of topics that are always full.  The parents who volunteer to be scout and 4 H leaders learn new things all the time and I can't imagine homeschooling parents don't.     People mostly love to learn - on their own, in a class, credit or not.  Knife skills, music classes, dance, hobbies, knitting, wood working, computer skills, languages.   People value learning new things and getting new skills.   At least the people I know.   Shoot - even Nicole Naugler takes painting classes occasionally and she, literally, shits in a bucket and throws it on the ground.   Or one of the kids toss it for her.  But the concept is there.   

Edited July 28, 2019 by SweetLaurel
spelling

[Dreadcrumbs]

40 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

I disagree with this.  One - most people need to eat and have a roof, etc,  so education for financial success is greatly valued for very practical reasons.  Well, maybe outside of the lalala million dollar land Lori lives in.   Tho I bet most of the other women around there are educated well.  Plus Lori herself 'claims' to do hours of research every day for her idiotic posts.  I don't believe that, but she says it, so apparently values some learning of some sort.  

 Also, though, in my community, and I'm sure many many others there are a lot of non credit course offered from the local college, plus the library and the ag center and banks and stock broker offices, SCORE,  pet stores and lumber yards who offer classes on many varieties of topics that are always full.  The parents who volunteer to be scout and 4 H leaders learn new things all the time and I can't imagine homeschooling parents don't.     People mostly love to learn - on their own, in a class, credit or not.  Knife skills, music classes, dance, hobbies, knitting, wood working, computer skills, languages.   People value learning new things and getting new skills.   At least the people I know.   Shoot - even Nicole Naugler takes painting classes occasionally and she, literally, shits in a bucket and throws it on the ground.   Or one of the kids toss it for her.  But the concept is there.   

I get what you're saying, but learning for the sake of learning in higher education is falling to the wayside. I sometimes feel like I'm paying for a degree, not a real learning experience because this attitude seems to be affecting the quality of the instruction and learning environment in some places.

Hell, the only way I'm making peace with having spent my money on a disappointing school term is by seeing it as a mere transaction. I give them my money, they give me credits I need for my degree. It shouldn't be that way, though.

Edited July 28, 2019 by Dreadcrumbs
riffle

[SweetLaurel]

14 minutes ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

I get what you're saying, but learning for the sake of learning in higher education is falling to the wayside. I sometimes feel like I'm paying for a degree, not a real learning experience because this attitude seems to be affecting the quality of the instruction and learning environment in some places.

Hell, the only way I'm making peace with having spent my money on a disappointing school term is by seeing it as a mere transaction. I give them my money, they give me credits I need for my degree. It shouldn't be that way, though.

I am confused - can you clarify?  You mean you think people should only go after a PHD or a Masters or Doctorate just to get the degree and not because they expect to use it for work and advancing their lives?   Just for the sheer joy of learning or do you think they are dumbing down courses so more people can 'pass' and get degrees?  I simply don't understand what you are saying, I think.   

[Dreadcrumbs]

6 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

I am confused - can you clarify?  You mean you think people should only go after a PHD or a Masters or Doctorate just to get the degree and not because they expect to use it for work and advancing their lives?   Just for the sheer joy of learning or do you think they are dumbing down courses so more people can 'pass' and get degrees?  I simply don't understand what you are saying, I think.   

I'm saying that it's becoming more about getting degrees and less about learning and personal growth.

Do I think courses are being dumbed down so more people can pass? I'm not sure. This might be the case with some courses and some professors. Professors do have some incentive to pass as many students as possible because if they don't produce results they can end up on the chopping block.

Edited July 28, 2019 by Dreadcrumbs

[Petronella]

2 minutes ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

I'm saying that it's becoming more about getting degrees and less about learning and personal growth.

I'm not sure what the "it" represents here. Who do you think is feeling this way? The students or the institutions? 

And how does that manifest? Do you feel this way, and if so what do you want from your school? Or so you think your school feels this way, and how does this affect what they provide you?

[Dreadcrumbs]

28 minutes ago, Petronella said:

I'm not sure what the "it" represents here. Who do you think is feeling this way? The students or the institutions? 

And how does that manifest? Do you feel this way, and if so what do you want from your school? Or so you think your school feels this way, and how does this affect what they provide you?

"It" being higher ed.

I haven't teased out all of my thoughts on the matter, but I haven't talked to anyone I go to school with that isn't there for a degree, certificate, etc. That's fine, I'm there for my AA, but I want to really learn. This past fall, one of my professors asked us why we were taking his class, and he admitted that it was fine if you said that you were just there for the credit. But let me tell you, he had reasonably high expectations and took the time to actually read our writing and tell us how we could improve. I feel like I actually grew as a person and as a student in his class.

Fast forward to this summer* and I've got one professor on campus who is messy and is talking about offering an amount of extra credit opportunities that are probably being offered to ensure as many of us pass as possible. This isn't acceptable in higher ed, imo. I have talked to the department chair about this professor and another and his intervention improved things a bit, but the course is still messy and severely lacking. Most of the learning I'm doing is outside of the classroom.

My other professor is teaching 4 or 5 classes online this summer and I'm pretty sure she's not really reading anything we write. I could probably turn in gibberish and get full points.

Thus, I just see this as a mere business transaction. But I want to be prepared for more challenging work when I move onto university and maybe even grad school if that's where I end up.

I feel alone in all of this sometimes because I don't know how many of the students on my campus feel the same way I do. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the department chair actually did care and did see issues.

*I really don't want to discuss the BS I came up against with one professor this past spring that made it clear I was better off not taking any classes with her at all because what she did was just plain disrespectful. I reached out to her like an adult, and she didn't respond like an adult. That's all I feel comfortable saying.

 

Edited July 28, 2019 by Dreadcrumbs
needed to tweak a couple of things

[hollyfeller]

23 minutes ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

I'm saying that it's becoming more about getting degrees and less about learning and personal growth.

Do I think courses are being dumbed down so more people can pass? I'm not sure. This might be the case with some courses and some professors. Professors do have some incentive to pass as many students as possible because if they don't produce results they can end up on the chopping block.

Story time if you're interested...

Spoiler

I went to grad school, but quit without writing my thesis because I was miserable there.  My advisor and I had a contentious relationship and I wasn't ever able to please her.  Fortunately I was still able to get a job - one that I still have 15 years later!  Do I wish I had gritted my teeth and written my thesis to get my Masters?  Yes...but it would have been detrimental to my mental health.  All things considered, I made the right choice walking away even though I spent 2 years of my life in grad school with nothing to show for it.

Grad school is different things to different people.  It was definitely a learning experience for me, in lots of different ways, even though I didn't finish my degree.  It would admittedly look good on my resume, but I made the right choice to quit when I did.

[wallysmommy]

I teach at the university level online.  I also did classroom for University of Phoenix for 14 years.  After I quit because of the working environment, I decided I missed school and went for my DBA.  I believe there are only two of us from my cohort group who finished their doctoral study and graduated.  The rest fell by the wayside for various reasons.  I knew my DBA wouldn't move me up in my current job, but I went for the self-satisfaction of knowing I could do it, and so that I could go back to teaching with a higher chance of getting hired in a competitive field.  My next move is to get certified in instructional design and to take the tour guide licensing test in New Orleans so that I can sign on as a freelance tour guide.  Nothing to do with my degree, but a side gig for fun.  I have students of all varieties from fresh out of high school to adults in their 50's.  Some are wanting to learn, some want the credit.  I hold them all to the same standard -- no extra credit, no late assignments, and a rubric for grading.  If I've ever had a grade contested over the years, I don't know about it because I never had to justify my grading.  

[feministxtian]

I'm thinking about going back to school for shits and grins eventually. I'll probably concentrate on math/science...again, just to keep my brain active. I'm also looking at taking watercolor painting classes too...because I love to paint but sorta suck at it and would like to get better at it. 

I have an AAS in Computer Aided Drafting and design, classes towards a mechanical engineering degree (I never finished), 1 class shy of a theology degree (that I will finish), and although I've never used any of that except for the AAS (and not really even that) in a professional capacity, learning for shits and grins is important to me. Keeps the brain active, will get me out and into the world instead of falling to my tendency to withdraw (especially after...well, you know). I'm also thinking about getting my real estate license just to make some money and get to check out houses. 

Lazy Lori and her minions can't see the value of learning just to learn...and, there are studies that show keeping the brain active helps to stave off dementia and shit. I'm losing my shit having to be home all the time right now...Don't down me...this shit ain't easy and extremely confining right now. As soon as my ankle heals it'll be back to yoga for me too. 

[SongRed7]

Change of topic, I've read The Handmaid's Tale in the past, but I just picked up the book Vox by Christina Dalcher.   HOLY CRAP....it might be fiction, but this is exactly the world  Lori is prescribing. Scary stuff. 

 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Some of the leg humpers are having the public school debate this morning.

The hubby went to private Christan school where deacons kids drank booze at lunch in the parking lot and a coach was fired for messing around with a high school girl.

Hubby's cousin was exposed to pot in the church youth group.  Yet public school is a problem?  

[wallysmommy]

Teach your children to go to church.  But Lori doesn't go because she can't find a church that teaches according to her made-up rules.  She sits home on Sunday and scours the Internet and stirs her shit pot.

[Hane]

2 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Some of the leg humpers are having the public school debate this morning.

The hubby went to private Christan school where deacons kids drank booze at lunch in the parking lot and a coach was fired for messing around with a high school girl.

Hubby's cousin was exposed to pot in the church youth group.  Yet public school is a problem?  

Many of my fellow Catholic kids were sent to parochial schools “for the discipline” back in the ‘60s. They were also the only 12-year-olds I knew who held drinking parties when their parents went away for the weekend. I saw families who let their kids run wild, but figured it was all good because the nuns would “straighten them out” in school.

[nokidsmom]

On 7/28/2019 at 2:26 AM, Sarah92 said:

Lori is the one who squandered her parents' gift. If my parents paid for my college I'd do everything I could to really learn from my classes. How can she preach about respecting parents when she constantly brags about learning nothing in college? I find that so rude and disrespectful. She'd throw a fit if one of her children did that.

ITA.  And claiming to learning nothing in college, regardless of who pays for it, is pretty pathetic and IMHO a waste of resources that would be better spent on someone who is willing to learn.  It's nothing at all to be proud of but then again, it's Lori.   

It's pretty bad for Lori to basically throw that claim in her parents' faces when they sprang for her college and she did not have to grind out 4 years of working along with going to school like some people, including yours truly, had to.  Had my parents paid for all of my college, it would have been lot easier for me not to mention getting better grades because sometimes, working got in the way of studying more.  

And she would throw a fit if her own kids did that and that topic would no doubt be part of her "rant repetoire" 

Edited July 29, 2019 by nokidsmom
clarification, completed sentence

[feministxtian]

53 minutes ago, Hane said:

Many of my fellow Catholic kids were sent to parochial schools “for the discipline” back in the ‘60s. They were also the only 12-year-olds I knew who held drinking parties when their parents went away for the weekend. I saw families who let their kids run wild, but figured it was all good because the nuns would “straighten them out” in school.

My Catholic high school was the dumping ground for kids who "needed discipline"...it was unbelievable. Students doing lines of coke in the bathrooms (didn't smoke weed b/c of smell), a coach who "got involved" with a 16 year old student, cliques, bullying. Most of the kids needed a swift kick in the ass and maybe a few needed to spend some time in juvie (including the Juvenile Court Judge's sons). Most of them haven't left the high school mentality nor the "hometown" life. High school was their "glory days" and they've never left. Me? I'm LOOOOOOOOOOONG gone, damn near on the other side of the country and don't give a shit about those days. 

[onemama]

1 hour ago, wallysmommy said:

Teach your children to go to church.  But Lori doesn't go because she can't find a church that teaches according to her made-up rules.  She sits home on Sunday and scours the Internet and stirs her shit pot.

I don't think that mandatory church is a good idea, especially not mandatory church as Lori would have it, where there's nothing special for the kids and they're just expected to sit through the sermon. 

I started teaching Sunday school a few years ago because there was need for more teachers. Parents go to church to be fed and to worship in a way that they find appropriate and is comfortable.  Their children ought to be fed too, and they ought to do activities that make them feel comfortable too, so now I teach Sunday school out of conviction. I'm there to care for the younger members of the church. The ones who are expected to tag along wherever dad and mom want to go.

I feel sorry for the poor kids who are made to attend services where nobody truly cares about them and they are just expected to sit quietly through a full 90 minutes to 2 hours of adult talk.  Poor, poor kids. 

Lori should be made to sit through a full service in latin every week. 

Edited July 29, 2019 by onemama

[nokidsmom]

22 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Most of them haven't left the high school mentality nor the "hometown" life. High school was their "glory days" and they've never left.

And somehow, even back then, one had a good idea of exactly who those kids would be.  I sure did.

I left the neighborhood I grew up in decades ago, but one sister has stayed in the ol' neighborhood and she's friends with some of my high school classmates.  She would bump into others when out.   Hearing about them, a good number are still stuck in high school, it was the highlight of their life and they cling to those times.  I am not surprised when I find out who they are.

I never attended my high school reunions beyond the 10 year reunion because even then, I could not relate to these former classmates at all, I felt I was in a time warp for those few hours.    

Good grief, high school was not a bad experience for me but if it was the highlight of my life, I would have to ask myself what I am doing wrong.  

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

Change of topic, I've read The Handmaid's Tale in the past, but I just picked up the book Vox by Christina Dalcher.   HOLY CRAP....it might be fiction, but this is exactly the world  Lori is prescribing. Scary stuff. 

 

Lori is aware of the book.  She won't read it, of course, but she deleted this question a few days ago.  

[smittykins]

3 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Some of the leg humpers are having the public school debate this morning.

The hubby went to private Christan school where deacons kids drank booze at lunch in the parking lot and a coach was fired for messing around with a high school girl.

Hubby's cousin was exposed to pot in the church youth group.  Yet public school is a problem?  

Chad Curtis, a former MLB outfielder, is serving a 7-15 year prison term for sexual assault on three teenage girls while volunteering as a high school weightlifting coach.(The article claims that Yankees traded him in part because he was too pushy with his religious beliefs.)

Edited July 29, 2019 by smittykins