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Lori Alexander 69: cold, angry, mean and racist


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1 hour ago, Foursquare said:

Why are these women so influenced by outsiders? 

No sense of self, or self-respect. 

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

I concur that there is something going on with her- she has no right/left brain integration- she is very rigid in her thought patterns and has seemingly no ability for critical thinking, and seems to have some difficulties related to executive function.

She's always spouted idiocy though.

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I just got into an argument on the internet (I know, I know...) but it's with people I actually know, just taking place on Facebook. It really has me down and it kind of reminds me of Lori's black and white thinking (not saying that my friends are anything like her! No, no, no! But the way the argument devolved, I mean).

About some things, there's right and wrong. Of course. But about most things, why can't we all just get along? Why not just say, "This works for me. I really love it!" instead of "This is what everyone should do! It's the only right way." So, the argument: breastfeeding. It's about breastfeeding. I know this is a touchy subject! Which is why I think we should all be compassionate and not declare there to be one right way.

Anyway, I'm pretty sensitive to "breast is BEST!" stuff because I could not breastfeed. I had my first baby in crunchy California, and not breastfeeding was SO HARD. All the doctors, nurses, and evil lactation consultants were just ON ME. Every book I'd read, every blog post...all of it was about how if I don't do it, I'm a bad mom who is just not trying hard enough. It was really, really awful. So I'm sensitive to breastfeeding-is-the-only-real-way-to-mother stuff, both because it criticizes my parenting personally, and because it contributes to maintaining the toxic "ONLY BREASTFEEDING IS ACCEPTABLE" environment for future moms.

So I tried to point out that what she was posting was potentially hurtful. It got bad. Apparently I am against breastfeeding, and against people talking about breastfeeding, because I suggested that breastfeeding can be positively promoted without criticizing mothers who don't. *sigh* This black and white thinking is what makes me think of Lori's comment section. (And getting jumped on by strangers. One friend of a friend on there, who I don't know at all, has made it her mission to shut me down.)

So now I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have said anything. The essay that the person shared wasn't *that* blatant (which is why I think people couldn't see why I was bothered). But the more I think about it, the more the piece is full of dog whistles that make it more insidious. It can *seem* neutral on the surface, if you've not experienced the blowback from breast policing, but structurally it's not. It's in the format of a conversion story, about a woman who wants to stop breastfeeding, but is saved from stopping by a clever lactation consultant who knows better than to take her at her word. *shudder* It's so "no doesn't really mean no," y'know?

But no one, not even my good friends who are smart and compassionate, seem to understand what I'm getting at, so now I'm questioning myself and regretting opening this can of worms. So I'm reading FJ to distract myself and hoping some people here get it.

Please get it! I feel down. Maybe I didn't communicate as I had intended. Maybe I'm rude, or just futile, for saying anything at all. Blech :-( 

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23 minutes ago, Koala said:

The whole thing made me sick.  Both Emily and Alyssa seem bent on staging perfect photos that make their lives seem *just so*, but at the end of the day, they aren't much different than Lori. 

100%    They are all promoting a false narrative. They are all saying, live like me and your life too can be beautiful like these pictures.  See how wonderful we are? How we have it all together.   And Lori is the chief -- saying "live by these 1,000 rules" and your life with be perfect like God wants it to be. 

But real life isn't like that. It's way more messier and complicated, and following all those "rules" is impossible in the long run, fake, and doesn't guarantee a happy, fairy tale life.   Look at that woman who posted on FB this week. She was struggling mightily by trying to live up to these false ideals, and her fourth child wasn't even here yet.  I fear what happens when the new baby comes. 

This sounds a lot like Andrea Yates, only I hope with different outcomes.  

It's all fake, fake, fake...and for those of us who identify as Christians, it has nothing to do with real Christianity.  

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1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

100%    They are all promoting a false narrative. They are all saying, live like me and your life too can be beautiful like these pictures.  See how wonderful we are? How we have it all together.   And Lori is the chief -- saying "live by these 1,000 rules" and your life with be perfect like God wants it to be. 

But real life isn't like that. It's way more messier and complicated, and following all those "rules" is impossible in the long run, fake, and doesn't guarantee a happy, fairy tale life.   Look at that woman who posted on FB this week. She was struggling mightily by trying to live up to these false ideals, and her fourth child wasn't even here yet.  I fear what happens when the new baby comes. 

This sounds a lot like Andrea Yates, only I hope with different outcomes.  

It's all fake, fake, fake...and for those of us who identify as Christians, it has nothing to do with real Christianity.  

If this where an advertisement for their faith, it would fail. It may have nice currated pictures, but the message is horrible. If I would ask Lori and co why I should join they, what would be my spiritual gain from following her rules, I don't think I would like her answer or join her.

@Petronella a virtual hug for you. I know these discussions, different topic, same outcome. They are to stuck in their mindset to see the harm they produce. I may not know breastfeeding by ever doing it, but the insistence on breast only always seems like a competition for me. The method of feeding isn't important for me, but that the baby is feed (hello Zsu). And of lately, their seems to be a shift in that direction, but the harm is allready done to too many women.

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Just more proof Lori doesn’t learn anything. There are toxic people in every group. True feminist don’t care about women working or staying home. They care about equality for both genders. 

Spoiler

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wanted to post the above before it’s gone. 

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really.PNG.5b73a5881dce2d06da0ba108740559b7.PNG

Really?  Like you plan on "helping" when your daughter has her baby this month?  Oh, wait.  You're on vacation...or in other words, "no longer available to help".  

Better example: Like you "helped" your mother when you guys vacationed in Door County?  

No...you said you liked to sit back and let her "wait on you".  After all, you "like to be served" and are "definitely a taker".  Guess being "available" didn't = being a helper in that case either.

Hmmm...what about last summer when you "helped" your family through your mother's passing, by not bothering to return home when she was dying?  Is that what you mean by "being available"?  Because the rest of the family was by her side while you vacationed.

Weird.  I guess not working hasn't really led to you helping anyone at all.  In fact, what you really seem to be known for, is not letting ANYTHING interfere with your MONTHS long vacation each summer.  

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Suffered? No, that's hyperbole. Inconvenienced maybe.  Probably not even that. Help can be hired. 

46 minutes ago, Koala said:

No...you said you liked to sit back and let her "wait on you".  After all, you "like to be served" and are "definitely a taker".

I will never get over how Lori Alexander actually said these things about herself, and then has the nerve to post about how holy it is to serve others. She has to be brain dead not to see the blatant hypocrisy. Don't know why her fangirls don't see it. Willful blindness I guess.

Edited by SilverBeach
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10 minutes ago, Koala said:

really.PNG.5b73a5881dce2d06da0ba108740559b7.PNG

Really?  Like you plan on "helping" when your daughter has her baby this month?  Oh, wait.  You're on vacation...or in other words, "no longer available to help".  

Lori was bitching about the 'burden' of childcare put on grandparents by feminism not too long ago.  She really should make up her mind.  

223094873.jpg

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The latest FB post shows her idiocy to the 10,000th degree.  Jesus did not have women disciples because as a man it would have been inappropriate culturally for him to live and travel with women who were not his wife.  The historical and cultural contexts are totally disregarded.  If Jesus were here today and had women disciples following him we would call them groupies or roadies.  She takes the word preacher to mean the guy who stands behind the pulpit in a church.  In those days, there were no pulpits and nice pews with chandeliers, as she seems to think a church must be.  They met covertly in houses, with the message being shared verbally.  Those who were the best storytellers were the ones he used, men or women.

Lori Alexander preaches more from her bully virtual pulpit than any women I know personally, even those that are ordained ministers.

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14 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

Jesus did not have women disciples

But he did, they may not have been part of the traditional 12, but some of his most devoted students were women.

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@SilverBeach I agree that he did.  They aren't mentioned in my opinion as part of the core group because of the cultural norms of the time.  I was refuting Lori's assertion that they are not part of the original 12 as part of her argument against women ministers.  

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Just now, wallysmommy said:

They aren't mentioned in my opinion as part of the core group because of the cultural norms of the time. 

Yeah, those men who edited scriture had a very patriarchal viewpoint.

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7 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

No sense of self, or self-respect. 

She's always spouted idiocy though.

Agree 100%. 

I do wonder about her latest video recording locations- in bedrooms or small closed rooms as opposed to her kitchen or other areas of the home. It’s very strange to me. 

7 hours ago, Petronella said:

I just got into an argument on the internet (I know, I know...) but it's with people I actually know, just taking place on Facebook. It really has me down and it kind of reminds me of Lori's black and white thinking (not saying that my friends are anything like her! No, no, no! But the way the argument devolved, I mean).

About some things, there's right and wrong. Of course. But about most things, why can't we all just get along? Why not just say, "This works for me. I really love it!" instead of "This is what everyone should do! It's the only right way." So, the argument: breastfeeding. It's about breastfeeding. I know this is a touchy subject! Which is why I think we should all be compassionate and not declare there to be one right way.

Anyway, I'm pretty sensitive to "breast is BEST!" stuff because I could not breastfeed. I had my first baby in crunchy California, and not breastfeeding was SO HARD. All the doctors, nurses, and evil lactation consultants were just ON ME. Every book I'd read, every blog post...all of it was about how if I don't do it, I'm a bad mom who is just not trying hard enough. It was really, really awful. So I'm sensitive to breastfeeding-is-the-only-real-way-to-mother stuff, both because it criticizes my parenting personally, and because it contributes to maintaining the toxic "ONLY BREASTFEEDING IS ACCEPTABLE" environment for future moms.

So I tried to point out that what she was posting was potentially hurtful. It got bad. Apparently I am against breastfeeding, and against people talking about breastfeeding, because I suggested that breastfeeding can be positively promoted without criticizing mothers who don't. *sigh* This black and white thinking is what makes me think of Lori's comment section. (And getting jumped on by strangers. One friend of a friend on there, who I don't know at all, has made it her mission to shut me down.)

So now I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have said anything. The essay that the person shared wasn't *that* blatant (which is why I think people couldn't see why I was bothered). But the more I think about it, the more the piece is full of dog whistles that make it more insidious. It can *seem* neutral on the surface, if you've not experienced the blowback from breast policing, but structurally it's not. It's in the format of a conversion story, about a woman who wants to stop breastfeeding, but is saved from stopping by a clever lactation consultant who knows better than to take her at her word. *shudder* It's so "no doesn't really mean no," y'know?

But no one, not even my good friends who are smart and compassionate, seem to understand what I'm getting at, so now I'm questioning myself and regretting opening this can of worms. So I'm reading FJ to distract myself and hoping some people here get it.

Please get it! I feel down. Maybe I didn't communicate as I had intended. Maybe I'm rude, or just futile, for saying anything at all. Blech ?

Hugs to you. I attempted breastfeeding with both kiddos and wasn’t successful, and I too have been the recipient of some nasty remarks. I know the exchange was uncomfortable and upsetting. Maybe your words were read by someone struggling with mom guilt related to breastfeeding or not breastfeeding and is now feeling more hopeful or encouraged. Or maybe it causes someone to check themselves and the way they deliver parenting messages. 

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10 hours ago, Cora Persephona said:

Hmm, I don't think that would appeal to her. After all, she does not truly want to be controlled, she's just nominally submissive. Also, no way she gives up her daily garden tanning session (does she still do this?).

I keep going back and forth on her liking to be a sisterwife. On the one hand, she'd have to split resources and attention with other women which leads me to say no.  On the other hand, if she'd be head wife she could badger and judge her sisterwives endlessly (which, as I said before, seems to be the greatest joy in her life) + she'd only need to be available for 10 minutes and lube just once in a while. This leads me to say yes. 

Ken would not needed to pay for Saint Lori's housekeeper or nanny if she'd had sisterwives. 

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Lori's Twitter is even crazier than her FB, but at least more people are calling her out on it there.

oops.thumb.JPG.3408fb7af1e479cc5b6c06e780b376f1.JPG

 

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Edited by hollyfeller
Wrong screenshot!
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Lori's Twitter is even crazier than her FB, but at least more people are calling her out on it there.

oops.thumb.JPG.db6bd1c60acc44811050eff2de1de4c6.JPG

part_2.thumb.JPG.3361d3ae2ed9612df15b59c1a698124f.JPG

Edited: I add the wrong 1st screenshot originally!

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2 hours ago, hollyfeller said:

Lori's Twitter is even crazier than her FB, but at least more people are calling her out on it there.

oops.thumb.JPG.db6bd1c60acc44811050eff2de1de4c6.JPG

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Edited: I add the wrong 1st screenshot originally!

Hahaha—that guy’s response ?

The fundie view of parenting is so weirdly limited to “pregnancy to toddlerhood.” I think that’s why they keep having more babies—they only see themselves as mothers if they’re in that narrow timeframe. But why? Why?? Parenting tweens and teens and adults are all great. Being a mother to teens right now is wonderful, just wonderful, to me, and I PROMISE YOU that getting my period does nothing to remind me of it.

Why do they idolize the purely physical, the gestating and diapering and breastfeeding stages? What about long talks and long drives and being surprised by their wonderful talents and points of view and the experiences they add to your life that you wouldn’t have had without them? Or, if that’s too loose and worldly for fundies, why not dwell on being the best homeschool mum you can be, thinking about curricula and teaching methods and career apprenticeships (since college not allowed)? Why is it all babies, babies, babies?

It’s almost animal, the way they think about women: bleed, fuck, gestate, feed, start over. *shudder*

Edited by Petronella
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 I got to thinking after reading the toilet seat and toothpaste cap post.

We as women don't want a "man child" to take care of.  So, why would men want a "woman child" to take care of?  My husband certainly wouldn't want a woman who could not make decisions and couldn't drive away from a fire by herself. He was engaged before me and called it off for that very reason. The girl couldn't do anything on her own.

For the record, we have never argued over toilet seats or toothpaste caps. We both leave the lid down for sanitary reasons as well as to keep things from falling in, and as adults we just know to put the cap back on the toothpaste. It's never been an issue in 27 years.

Edited by Free Jana Duggar
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12 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I do wonder about her latest video recording locations- in bedrooms or small closed rooms as opposed to her kitchen or other areas of the home. It’s very strange to me. 

I think it's a bedroom in Door County house. 

Speaking of those videos, I almost wretched watching the "Guns are good" video.  Listen, I grew up with hunters.  I have no problem with hunters and others having guns for hunting, basic handguns, etc. within limits.  But NO ONE, NO ONE needs a machine gun capable of mowing down hundreds in seconds.  As her "proof" why guns are good,  "they were used in World War 2  and they were used in the Civil War to end slavery"...what she forgets is BY TRAINED MILITARY! 

No far right wing or far left wing or racist or mentally disturbed person needs a MILITARY GRADE weapon of war.  The common denominator in these cases is the easy accessibility to obtain these types of weapons.  

And the argument about knives and cars bombs, etc is stupid too.   Any object can be used to harm someone (baseball bats, chairs, rope, a garden hoe, a shovel, etc)...but guns are for one purpose only to do harm to someone else.  Do you really need a machine gun to protect your house??

She is so stupid. 

 

Edited by SongRed7
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I’m surprised she didn’t trot out the “Timothy McVeigh used fertilizer and the 9/11 hijackers used box cutters” line.

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And she's pulling the "men prefer debt free virgins, without tattoos" post out of her PLEASE LORD LET ME GO VIRALLLLLLLL!!!!! bag of tricks. ?

Edited by Koala
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20 hours ago, Petronella said:

I just got into an argument on the internet (I know, I know...) but it's with people I actually know, just taking place on Facebook. It really has me down and it kind of reminds me of Lori's black and white thinking (not saying that my friends are anything like her! No, no, no! But the way the argument devolved, I mean).

About some things, there's right and wrong. Of course. But about most things, why can't we all just get along? Why not just say, "This works for me. I really love it!" instead of "This is what everyone should do! It's the only right way." So, the argument: breastfeeding. It's about breastfeeding. I know this is a touchy subject! Which is why I think we should all be compassionate and not declare there to be one right way.

Anyway, I'm pretty sensitive to "breast is BEST!" stuff because I could not breastfeed. I had my first baby in crunchy California, and not breastfeeding was SO HARD. All the doctors, nurses, and evil lactation consultants were just ON ME. Every book I'd read, every blog post...all of it was about how if I don't do it, I'm a bad mom who is just not trying hard enough. It was really, really awful. So I'm sensitive to breastfeeding-is-the-only-real-way-to-mother stuff, both because it criticizes my parenting personally, and because it contributes to maintaining the toxic "ONLY BREASTFEEDING IS ACCEPTABLE" environment for future moms.

So I tried to point out that what she was posting was potentially hurtful. It got bad. Apparently I am against breastfeeding, and against people talking about breastfeeding, because I suggested that breastfeeding can be positively promoted without criticizing mothers who don't. *sigh* This black and white thinking is what makes me think of Lori's comment section. (And getting jumped on by strangers. One friend of a friend on there, who I don't know at all, has made it her mission to shut me down.)

So now I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have said anything. The essay that the person shared wasn't *that* blatant (which is why I think people couldn't see why I was bothered). But the more I think about it, the more the piece is full of dog whistles that make it more insidious. It can *seem* neutral on the surface, if you've not experienced the blowback from breast policing, but structurally it's not. It's in the format of a conversion story, about a woman who wants to stop breastfeeding, but is saved from stopping by a clever lactation consultant who knows better than to take her at her word. *shudder* It's so "no doesn't really mean no," y'know?

But no one, not even my good friends who are smart and compassionate, seem to understand what I'm getting at, so now I'm questioning myself and regretting opening this can of worms. So I'm reading FJ to distract myself and hoping some people here get it.

Please get it! I feel down. Maybe I didn't communicate as I had intended. Maybe I'm rude, or just futile, for saying anything at all. Blech ?

I absolutely get it! Every word you wrote not only makes sense but also resonates with me. Your friends should have been happy to get such thoughtful feedback and appreciated you starting such an important conversation.

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21 minutes ago, Koala said:

And she's pulling the "men prefer debt free virgins, without tattoos" post out of her PLEASE LORD LET ME GO VIRALLLLLLLL!!!!! bag of tricks. ?

I was just going to say the same thing....She reposts, will probably boost it, tweet it, etc...and then try to convince everyone it went viral again because "it's that time of year."   Please. Everyone isn't as stupid as you are. 

 

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