Maxwell 32: Wearing Your Vest in 15 Minute Increments

[Maggie Mae]

I also have several frozen bananas in the freezer. 

I had both Bobbsey Twins and Happy Hollisters growing up, but I can't remember much of either of them, other than I think a Bobbsey twin was called Flossie, and the HOllisters went to an amusement park. 

[Leftitinmysnood]

9 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

GEEZE LOUISE! How did I never catch on to any of that?  I remember the rambling house, the mother “washing and patting dry the tender baby lettuce leaves,” and a station wagon. Was there a preteen named Pam? I remember thinking I was like her when I deftly opened the back door on our station wagon. 

“Indy?” Egad. 

Yes, The Hollisters in descending order were Pete, Pam, Ricky, Holly, and Sue. Mr. Hollister ran a sporting goods store called "The Trading Post" and I think Indy worked there, of course, but the Hollisters also travelled to some Southwestern locations in the books. Pretty sure there was an Alaskan adventure, too, although I can't recall details. Most of them were under the guise of "learning about other cultures," but the stereotypes of 1950s tv Cowboys and Indians  are still there.

The Bobbseys were two sets of twins, Bert and Nan and Freddy and Flossie. The original Bobbseys were written much earlier that the Hollisters, around the 1910s, but they were modernized (and the stereotypes softened, like Sam and Dinah's dialectic) and the collection enlarged in the 1960s. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

So were hearts knit during Anna and Mary's recent mission trip or... ? I mean there had to be some other eligible fundies stuffing Santa's shoe boxes or whatever it is they do to sell out for Jesus.

[PennySycamore]

@Lgirlrocks, The Chronicles of Narnia were, indeed, Christian allegory, but JRR Tolkien would not be happy with your assertion that LoTR is Christian fiction.  Tolkien did not consider it so and he hated allegory with a passion.  Yes, LoTR is about a struggle between darkness and light, but it's not explicitly Christian.  

@Leftitinmysnood,  the junior high librarian when my brother was in junior high taped paper over the pictures of naked women in National Geographic.  Guess what the guys did? 

ETA:  (This was several pages ago when we saw a page out of a Maxhell workbook.) What the hell kind of pet shop sells a venomous snake?  Those endangered coral snakes are poisonous!

Edited September 16, 2019 by PennySycamore

[scoutsadie]

On 9/14/2019 at 10:10 AM, Coconut Flan said:

It's on the list.  There are still several ahead of it though.  

But how about "You can keep your vest on, but you can never leave" instead, to avoid the double use of "leave"?

[johnhugh]

New post up from Terry and it seems that Stevie likes a bit of sweet fellowship when he wakes up / arouses in the morning....

Edited September 16, 2019 by johnhugh

[usedbicycle]

Teri's just outdoing herself in the mommy-shaming department lately.

If someone were to guilt-trip me for hitting snooze after getting up 6 times to nurse/soothe a crying infant, I would punch them in the face. But for Teri, if you DON'T feel excited to delve into the Book of Ecclesiastes on an empty stomach and 3hrs of sleep, you need to seriously check yourself.

Her version of a tyran God who demands an exhausted mother's 6:30 AM time slot all to himself is such a sad version of God...

[kpmom]

1 hour ago, usedbicycle said:

Teri's just outdoing herself in the mommy-shaming department lately.

 

Her version of a tyran God who demands an exhausted mother's 6:30 AM time slot all to himself is such a sad version of God...

Hmm, her God sounds an awful lot like Steve.

[mango_fandango]

I highly doubt most moms enjoy being woken up at night by a crying baby, especially when it’s likely that it’s happened more than once. Plus feeding a baby doesn’t require a huge amount of concentration. Reading the Bible, thinking it over about how it applies to your life and so on, requires a lot more mental energy which most people would not be able to expend when they’re still half asleep. I remember Erika Shupe writing a blog post about reading the Bible first thing in the morning and she specifically said that she didn’t make a cup of tea or similar warm drink because it would just make her sleepy. Instead she had water and some sliced apple or something similar. 

[SPHASH]

2 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

Teri's just outdoing herself in the mommy-shaming department lately.

If someone were to guilt-trip me for hitting snooze after getting up 6 times to nurse/soothe a crying infant, I would punch them in the face. But for Teri, if you DON'T feel excited to delve into the Book of Ecclesiastes on an empty stomach and 3hrs of sleep, you need to seriously check yourself.

Her version of a tyran God who demands an exhausted mother's 6:30 AM time slot all to himself is such a sad version of God...

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Griselda Teri Maxwell is a fucking worthless bitch.

[SassyPants]

I agree with the comment that AnnaMarie is a far better writer than all the nee Maxwells combined. Obviously she was schooled by a person who knew what they were doing.

[MamaJunebug]

11 hours ago, johnhugh said:

New post up from Terry and it seems that Stevie likes a bit of sweet fellowship when he wakes up / arouses in the morning....

I SO want to react with the green puking emoji but I don’t want to impugn JohnHugh’s rep  

So.... ?

Damn, TeriFying, that is WAY TMI. Immodest Maxwells!

4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

.... I remember Erika Shupe writing a blog post about reading the Bible first thing in the morning and she specifically said that she didn’t make a cup of tea or similar warm drink because it would just make her sleepy. Instead she had water and some sliced apple or something similar. 

Oh Erika, switch to green tea.  Or black, you ignorant poseur. But if you really want to suffer for your faith, get one of those prong-collars to tighten around your thigh whilst you  “study.”

[mango_fandango]

The Disgust reaction is neutral, MJB!!

I have no idea what Erika does these days, she stopped blogging ages ago. The youngest seven even go to PUBLIC SCHOOL so I don’t know what she does about Bible time. I’m pretty damn sure their religion/faith hasn’t changed so she may well have Bible time still. I think the main thing she objected to was the warmth of the drink, not what it was (although she did say a few times on the blog that she tended to stay away from caffeinated coffee as it gave her ‘false energy’ or something).

[NancyDrewFan1989]

On 9/14/2019 at 10:21 AM, Loveday said:

The Bobbsey Twins? 

The BOBBSEY TWINS???*

 

*I know, the early editions were often quite racist--the kids had a mammy, for heaven's sake, and as the first books were written in the 1920s you can just imagine the way she was portrayed. But I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be what would keep fundies from letting their children read the Bobbsey Twins. 

 

Yeah, the Parfitt who broke free mentioned it had to do with the children getting into trouble and disobeying their parents. I know some of the earlier versions have racism in them. The Parfitt family were talked about on a thread about the Staddon family. They used to have a blog, but they don't seem to be too active anymore. The family is a giant rabbit whole to jump down.

9 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

Teri's just outdoing herself in the mommy-shaming department lately.

If someone were to guilt-trip me for hitting snooze after getting up 6 times to nurse/soothe a crying infant, I would punch them in the face. But for Teri, if you DON'T feel excited to delve into the Book of Ecclesiastes on an empty stomach and 3hrs of sleep, you need to seriously check yourself.

Her version of a tyran God who demands an exhausted mother's 6:30 AM time slot all to himself is such a sad version of God...

Teri's new and depressing mommy shaming post came off just as it reads. I'm surprised she didn't try to justify breaking out a Pepsi for not hitting the snooze button. 

[Snarfblatt]

My cats agree with Terri that I shouldn't ignore their crying for breakfast when they decide that they are ABSOLUTELY STARVING before my alarm goes off. They also agree that I should never ever hit the snooze button because it delays their breakfast even further and that is unacceptable. ?

 

 

[Giraffe]

@Snarfblatt, my dad recently met my cat when he came over to housesit for me. He finally understands I’m not exaggerating whenever I’ve told him the fuzzbutt screams at me in the morning ?

[fundiefan]

I haven’t been online much & missed the last few Maxhell posts. Didn’t miss much, obviously. Same shit, different day. As it happens I just cleaned out my freezer about 2 weeks ago. I usually do it early fall every year to prepare for the over abundance of fall/winter food-soups & stews & heavier foods. I didn’t throw anything out but I didn’t have to make up strange concoctions to use random stuff either.  I am pretty good about only chopping as much onion as I need & eating one leftover pork chop for lunch the next day. All I had to do was plan my next few week’s menus around what is in there so I can start fresh, so to speak, with fall food planning/stocking. 

These people make everything 100 times more difficult than necessary-or even inherently existing. 

[physicalscience]

What an absolutely disgusting post that was! I finally unfollowed on my feed, I can’t even follow that BS for snark anymore.

Comparing an actual living breathing baby human being’s needs for hunger and comfort to ... reading?! Are you kidding me! These people claim to be pro life and For Babies. I can’t even.

This hit a nerve with me as I’m awake nursing my baby, so I’m extra extra bothered. 

[Foudeb]

Their God is a needy, whiny little bastard. 

[dripcurl]

Wow, Teri... anyway, random thought: are the women of Maxhell not allowed to wear jewelry?

4 hours ago, Foudeb said:

Their God is a needy, whiny little bastard. 

Yep, because their God is Steve

[mango_fandango]

I don’t think the Maxwells really wear jewellery, although I don’t know if it’s forbidden. The bridesmaids at John and Chelsy’s wedding wore necklaces, maybe they just wear jewellery/makeup for special occasions like that. 

[LurkerOverThePond]

Jesse's birthday post is up. Now that was the most Jesusy birthday wish I've ever seen by the Maxwells, and that really says something...

[dripcurl]

Steve: I am a bit defrauded by that last pic of Jesse, his 6 pack is very well outlined thanks to that athletic shirt. Maybe you should make him double layer like you do the girls. Shame on you. I was thankful that there is no swimming pool at my condo complex, as most men do not wear swim shirts, and I have also praised God that I do not invite young dads over in the event that upon lifting their small child I could possibly see some skin as their shirt might lift too, but now my soul is ruined thanks to this scandalous blog post on your ministry’s site. *tears* 

[Giraffe]

5 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

Jesse's birthday post is up. Now that was the most Jesusy birthday wish I've ever seen by the Maxwells, and that really says something...

It reminds me of churches I’ve been to where it was impossible to get to know people - but I knew their Bible reading habits and how much they were struggling with their personal prayer time. It took me a long time to figure out why it felt so “off.” How sad it is that the only commendations they can give to him are his Love for the Lord. Sounds so holy & pious while simultaneously sounding as though they don’t actually know him. So strange. 

[SPHASH]

They are really pimping Forgotten Jesse to the fundie maidens aren't they.