Maxwell 32: Wearing Your Vest in 15 Minute Increments

[Jana814]

15 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

How sad it is that the only commendations they can give to him are his Love for the Lord. Sounds so holy & pious while simultaneously sounding as though they don’t actually know him. So strange. 

I have noticed that a lot with their birthday posts. They only seem to care about how much time their kids spend reading the Bible 

[catlady]

Blog quote:  “Jesse on Uncompahgre Peak pointing out something below.”  

Pointing out something below. Something. That is one hell of a descriptor. From an author. After that, i’d rather read about the exploding bratwurst. 

And I too am defrauded by Jesse’s immodest manliness. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Their birthday posts are interchangeable. Good grief. Please let this boy get married and have more of a life!

[usedbicycle]

Jesse

Loves reading the Bible- check

Loves kids - check

Has defined pecks - check

Owns a house - check

Does he have an interesting job? A sense of humor? Good conversation? Hobbies? Generous ways? Favorite books and movies? Places he wants to travel to?  Quirky habits? Dreams for the future? All irrelevant points and we shall never know... 

[catlady]

6 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

Jesse

Loves reading the Bible- check

Loves kids - check

Has defined pecks - check

Owns a house - check

It’s genuinely quite sad that these four items are the only things that matter to them. 

[MamaJunebug]

18 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

Jesse

Loves reading the Bible- check

Loves kids - check

Has defined pecks - check

Owns a house - check

Does he have an interesting job? A sense of humor? Good conversation? Hobbies? Generous ways? Favorite books and movies? Places he wants to travel to?  Quirky habits? Dreams for the future? All irrelevant points and we shall never know... 

Possibly they let the Available Maidens know those last few. Except for movies of course. Maxwells don’t watch movies.  

1 hour ago, catlady said:

Blog quote:  “Jesse on Uncompahgre Peak pointing out something below.”  

Pointing out something below. Something. That is one hell of a descriptor. From an author. After that, i’d rather read about the exploding bratwurst. 

And I too am defrauded by Jesse’s immodest manliness. 

Ok, I looked at that photo. I’m certain the writer included that “something” info because otherwise it could be construed that FJesse was engaging in a modern dance move. 5, 6, 7, 8!

[catlady]

14 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Ok, I looked at that photo. I’m certain the writer included that “something” info because otherwise it could be construed that FJesse was engaging in a modern dance move. 5, 6, 7, 8!

I like your interpretation!!  

However if that photo was from this year’s trip, Sarah should definitely be able to remember *what* Jesse was pointing out, and it would have been interesting to share it. I like geography, and that’s a beautiful location. So i’m definitely interested in what he would have been looking at. But maybe he was comparing the landscape to pizza-cutter-chopped lettuce, in which case we will never know what was going on......

[OhNoNike]

6 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

Jesse

Loves reading the Bible- check

Loves kids - check

Has defined pecks - check

Owns a house - check

Does he have an interesting job? A sense of humor? Good conversation? Hobbies? Generous ways? Favorite books and movies? Places he wants to travel to?  Quirky habits? Dreams for the future? All irrelevant points and we shall never know... 

Doesn’t matter!  He’s available!!  Ladies apply here!  Lots of pictures with kids!

[Eternalbluepearl]

Random off topic question...do you think anyone started out taking the Maxwells really seriously and tried to imitate them with their own families, then slowly came to realize how ridiculous they are and now snark on them?  That would be hilarious if even their own honest to goodness followers started to be like wtf? 

[fundiefan]

That was truly an awful, impersonal birthday post. Jesse is clearly a soldier for Jesus, not a son, not a brother, not an uncle, not an employee, not a smart young man - nothing, zip, zilch, nada. Just a Jesus robot doing as he's told living in a family that values him for his ability to follow the rules, not as an individual human being with a brain. 

I'd rather my family ignored my birthday if that were their choice for acknowledging it. Fortunately, that's never been the case, my dysfunctional, heathen, ungodly, imperfect family. 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

The Maxwells message to Jesse for his birthday read as a singles ad in a newspaper from two desperate parents trying to marry off their son. 

[Elegant Mess]

On September 17, 2019 at 9:50 AM, fundiefan said:

These people make everything 100 times more difficult than necessary-or even inherently existing. 

THIS!!!

I get exhausted just reading many of these posts - so laborious!

[terranova]

It would be 100 times more interesting (for a potential bride even) to read about Jesse's work, his hobbies (does he even have any apart from climbing hills and reading the Bible?), his hopes for the future, fun memories from his childhood. Who wants to marry someone who doesn't even appear to have a personality? Apart from Anna Marie ofcourse.

[anjulibai]

13 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Random off topic question...do you think anyone started out taking the Maxwells really seriously and tried to imitate them with their own families, then slowly came to realize how ridiculous they are and now snark on them?  That would be hilarious if even their own honest to goodness followers started to be like wtf? 

Yes, the Muncks (spelling?). After the broken engagement between Elizabeth and Joseph, the Muncks definitely changed course on a lot of things. 

[HereticHick]

How can I celebrate Jesse's birthday if I don't know how he likes his coffee???

[IReallyAmHopewell]

3 hours ago, terranova said:

It would be 100 times more interesting (for a potential bride even) to read about Jesse's work, his hobbies (does he even have any apart from climbing hills and reading the Bible?), his hopes for the future, fun memories from his childhood. Who wants to marry someone who doesn't even appear to have a personality? Apart from Anna Marie ofcourse.

Sadly, just like those who see only the surface of the Duggars/Bates, many have copied them. "Many" would be hundreds. They have been around a generation or so now in homeschool circles. I've met a few such families years back. Then they begin to see that the problems they are avoiding are simply replaced by new problems. "Johnny won't read," becomes "Johnny won't read the Bible," becomes "won't read the Bible with the right spirit." Etc. Never expanding the boundaries for kids beyond those of the youngest is a huge hassle for the parents, too. And, then there's the sheer exhaustion of staying debt-free while trying to start a family business and ministry. Reality sets in at some point--usually.

[scoutsadie]

On 9/18/2019 at 11:42 AM, catlady said:

I like your interpretation!!  

However if that photo was from this year’s trip, Sarah should definitely be able to remember *what* Jesse was pointing out, and it would have been interesting to share it. I like geography, and that’s a beautiful location. So i’m definitely interested in what he would have been looking at. But maybe he was comparing the landscape to pizza-cutter-chopped lettuce, in which case we will never know what was going on......

No, remember that Sarah stayed back at the cabin by herself for a bit to work on her new book... so it's possible she didn't know what Jesse was referencing when the picture was taken. But she supposedly writes fiction for a living, so one would think that, short of asking someone who was there or simply not captioning the photo, she could have made up something funny or silly.

However, one thinking that would be wrong, because just like Maxwells don't watch movies, Maxwells don't engage in such nonsense.

What a bleak life they seem to lead.

[Kelsey]

How about "Jesse points out some shit that we've all seen roughly 20 times because we take this grueling hike every year when we go on "what some may call a vacation."

[mango_fandango]

I seem to remember that Jesse likes his coffee black.

Occasionally they’ve included fun little tidbits like “xxx loves eating leftovers!!” But that and the coffee is about as ‘individual’ as they get.  

[socalrules]

I actually thought Jesse was closer to 30 for some reason. If anything, all of the Maxwell spawn seem so much older but not in a mature way. Maybe it’s because it seems like they have been around forever and nothing ever changes. 

[danvillebelle]

On 9/18/2019 at 5:40 PM, Eternalbluepearl said:

Random off topic question...do you think anyone started out taking the Maxwells really seriously and tried to imitate them with their own families, then slowly came to realize how ridiculous they are and now snark on them? 

Um...that would be me.  

I never went whole hog on the thing (to use my favorite Shelby Foote-ism), but I certainly read their books for a few years and tried to implement MOTH more than once (always failed).  I think I gave up on them completely around 2007-8.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

8 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

Um...that would be me.  

I never went whole hog on the thing (to use my favorite Shelby Foote-ism), but I certainly read their books for a few years and tried to implement MOTH more than once (always failed).  I think I gave up on them completely around 2007-8. 

Don't feel back--lots of people go that route. Control. You discovered Grace. Much more important than the Maxwells.

[mango_fandango]

Definitely no need to feel bad. Trying something and admitting you failed can be hard. Most, if not all, fundies tend to blame anyone but themselves when things go wrong... so you’re already better than that!

Edited September 20, 2019 by mango_fandango

[danvillebelle]

Y'all are sweet.  

Yeah, when I read "Keeping Our Children's Hearts", a little niggling voice started up in my head...."these people are WHACK."  And I was a homeschool mom with pretty sheltered kids!  They were (and are) beyond the pale.

[SassyPants]

On 9/18/2019 at 3:40 PM, Eternalbluepearl said:

Random off topic question...do you think anyone started out taking the Maxwells really seriously and tried to imitate them with their own families, then slowly came to realize how ridiculous they are and now snark on them?  That would be hilarious if even their own honest to goodness followers started to be like wtf? 

Yes, the Muncks...and for Elizabeth's sake, thank the Lord they did. 

3 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

Um...that would be me.  

I never went whole hog on the thing (to use my favorite Shelby Foote-ism), but I certainly read their books for a few years and tried to implement MOTH more than once (always failed).  I think I gave up on them completely around 2007-8.

It’s too bad that the Maxwells don’t realize that you can raise decent, faith based children without becoming isolating, control freaks. It’s too bad that they don’t realize that they have become the people and family to which others do not want to associate. The way they treat their adult offspring is frightening.