Have the Maxwell Daughters ever Dated?

[GeorgeSorosJingerer]

I can't be the only one to conspicuously notice that the Maxwell sons are all married/heavy daters and all of the Maxwell Daughters seem to be the loneliest girls on the planet. Is that true? Why do you think that is?

[JermajestyDuggar]

[tabitha2]

They don’t really mix with the wider Fundamentalist set of ATI and all the outings, trips and seminars that organization holds that allow young fundies to meet and get acquainted much less mainstream conservative Christian homeschooling groups.  I mean if  Steve allowed them  A chance to interact An older unmarried Staddon boy for instance would probably really did Anna or Mary. 

The Maxwell girls are taught  to attract young men while Duggars and Bates and Bontragers ETC  are allowed and  encouraged to attract potential suitable husbands by keeping themselves thin, nicely but modestly dressed  with make up  and hair done.  Frumpers and vests won’t attract a young fundie man looking for a wife  these days. 

Edited July 10, 2019 by tabitha2

[Loveday]

In a word, no. Just...no.

[AliceInFundyland]

6 minutes ago, Loveday said:

In a word, no. Just...no.

And the word would NOT be date.

[mango_fandango]

They haven’t courted because Steve is a controlling asshat.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Because there are cabinets to clean and Steve and Teri's minivan seats aren't going to fill themselves. 

[Talitha Cumi]

Because all Stevehovah's children are his possessions. And he will never, ever let them go.

[singsingsing]

I definitely would not call any of the Maxwell sons ‘heavy daters’. I mean I know it’s shocking that two of them have been in not one but TWO relationships in their lives, but even by fundie standards, that’s not very remarkable.

[louannems]

On 7/10/2019 at 1:42 PM, GeorgeSorosJingerer said:

I can't be the only one to conspicuously notice that the Maxwell sons are all married/heavy daters and all of the Maxwell Daughters seem to be the loneliest girls on the planet. Is that true? Why do you think that is?

I recognize your username from the Zsu Anderson threads.  You've mentioned going to Steve's New Independent Fundamental Baptist Church.  Have you noticed that females, even adult unmarried females, are much more isolated than their male counterparts?  The boys are encouraged to work and would meet lots of new people, whereas the girls get to stay home and be sister-moms and cook and clean.

And the Maxwell women don't even have the privilege of attending a real church service where they could meet young men. So they are even more isolated.

If they truely wanted to, and if they weren't so scared of Steve's wrath, these Maxwell women could choose to go to a real church.  They could participate in singles groups.  I wonder if it's ever even crossed their minds.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I've just fallen down this rabbit hole, and have to admit I'm fascinated by this next level of fundy crazy.  I would think young women and the oldest daughter would make wonderful fundy brides and that would be a great sense of pride. Even marrying off the younger two would still leave the oldest one home as their slave caretaker. 

[Odd1Out]

On 7/10/2019 at 3:42 PM, GeorgeSorosJingerer said:

I can't be the only one to conspicuously notice that the Maxwell sons are all married/heavy daters and all of the Maxwell Daughters seem to be the loneliest girls on the planet. Is that true? Why do you think that is?

No, no you’re not. Read thru any thread under Maxwell and it’s discussed in depth. 

[HermioneSparrow]

15 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I've just fallen down this rabbit hole, and have to admit I'm fascinated by this next level of fundy crazy.  I would think young women and the oldest daughter would make wonderful fundy brides and that would be a great sense of pride. Even marrying off the younger two would still leave the oldest one home as their slave caretaker. 

I'm surprised you just fell down this rabbit hole. The Maxwells are in another league of insanity.

[Alisamer]

On July 10, 2019 at 5:40 PM, Talitha Cumi said:

Because all Stevehovah's children are his possessions. And he will never, ever let them go.

Yep. I think the key thing is that HE is the patriarch. And the boys are allowed to court and marry because they will "respect their elders" and stay nearby and under his authority. The girls, however, would come under the authority of their husbands, who would be under the authority of their own fathers - not Stevehovah. He can't bear to let go of even the slightest bit of control, and since his daughters would be expected to "leave and cleave" it's a no-go. I doubt any of the girls will get married while Steve is still alive. 

On July 10, 2019 at 6:20 PM, singsingsing said:

I definitely would not call any of the Maxwell sons ‘heavy daters’. I mean I know it’s shocking that two of them have been in not one but TWO relationships in their lives, but even by fundie standards, that’s not very remarkable.

Yeah, I mean the sons have businesses and have probably interacted with others more than the girls have, but they're definitely not heavy daters. Or daters at all. They court.

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

Yep. I think the key thing is that HE is the patriarch. And the boys are allowed to court and marry because they will "respect their elders" and stay nearby and under his authority. The girls, however, would come under the authority of their husbands, who would be under the authority of their own fathers - not Stevehovah. He can't bear to let go of even the slightest bit of control, and since his daughters would be expected to "leave and cleave" it's a no-go. I doubt any of the girls will get married while Steve is still alive. 

Exactly this.  So the sons can stick around the Maxwell compound but the girls would not, they would have to move where their headships (and their fathers) are, thereby Stevehovah loses control.  However, I have long suspected that Steveovah may try to circumvent that by requiring suitors to move to be near the family.  This would be problematic because a suitor would also be required to have some means to support a family so moving means giving up a job or, if self-employed, moving away from a customer base.   So moving meets one requirement but kills another requirement.   I think Steveovah imposes a shit-ton of requirements, probably contradictory, that make it virtually impossible for a suitor to meet his standards.

And I think Sarah has had a number of guys interested in her but they don't meet Steveovah's standards.  I think she has likely, and probably more than once, watch interested guys get run off.   Perhaps the other girls too.  Having an impossible Daddy is going to get around in their circles with the end result of guys being discouraged from even trying.  

It's sad because whatever disappointment Sarah may feel over still being single and still at home, the reason is right there in front of her, in the form of Dad.   But she would never call out her Dad as the problem but on some level she has to know it. 

 

Edited July 12, 2019 by nokidsmom

[smittykins]

On 7/10/2019 at 5:33 PM, Eternalbluepearl said:

Because there are cabinets to clean and Steve and Teri's minivan seats aren't going to fill themselves. 

Not to mention the ceiling fans.

[Ozlsn]

14 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I doubt any of the girls will get married while Steve is still alive

It's probably wrong of me to be thinking this way but I hope Steve shuffles off his mortal coil earlier rather than later so his daughters - including Sarah - have a chance to get out. I could be wrong but I suspect Maxhell will not outlive its creator very long.

[Captain Obvious]

14 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

Exactly this.  So the sons can stick around the Maxwell compound but the girls would not, they would have to move where their headships (and their fathers) are, thereby Stevehovah loses control.  However, I have long suspected that Steveovah may try to circumvent that by requiring suitors to move to be near the family.  This would be problematic because a suitor would also be required to have some means to support a family so moving means giving up a job or, if self-employed, moving away from a customer base.   So moving meets one requirement but kills another requirement.   I think Steveovah imposes a shit-ton of requirements, probably contradictory, that make it virtually impossible for a suitor to meet his standards.

Sarah did post once about a hypothetical future where her or her sisters would be married and living interstate, so clearly they have no requirement for any future husband to be a local, which means that Steve wouldn't have either. 

That said, I'm sure Steve would prefer a local son-in-law - and that Steve has created such a Stockholm-syndrome-like environment that Anna and Mary in particular are so enmeshed with the lives of their nieces and nephews that they couldn't imagine moving away from them, even if that means they never got married as a result.

And anyway, even if the location thing wasn't an issue, it's not even the most significant hurdle to overcome - that hurdle is Steve's requirement for any husband to have bought a house debt-free (and have the skills to fix it up), which would rule out virtually all of them. That's not even allowing for the fact that there are plenty of other eligible fundie girls around with the same skills as the Max girls have, but who present themselves better and don't have an intimidating father. 

I will concede that Anna and Mary probably do have more opportunities to socialise than it appears on face value, what with the missionary trips and visits to/from various friends. But I remember seeing the girls at Chelsy and John's wedding and it looked like they were spending all their time with the kids instead of with other adults who could be or could lead them to a potential husband. I don't know if they'd even know how to present themselves to a guy so that he'd be interested enough to court.

Especially if they've been raised by Steve to think that the Maxwellian way is The Way Ordained By Jeebus, which means that a suitable guy is absolutely going to fall from the sky, without any effort or change on their behalf.

Edited July 13, 2019 by Captain Obvious

[dripcurl]

Why does this thread exist?

[terranova]

The Maxwell girls are not that far removed from girls who are locked in basements. Sure, they have physical freedom, although not much of it, but every single aspect of their lives from what they eat to what time they wake up is controlled by their Father. Essentially they are his property and while they may sleep in real beds and are allowed to go outside during the day, they are as much prisoners in their home as if they were chained up in the basement.

And it goes beyond physical, mental and emotional control too. Steve and Teri have taken away, or denied their daughters any chance of having a future by depriving them of social contact, an education, money making skills and the ability to live without being supported by someone else. If Steve and Teri were to die tomorrow, the three girls would be completely and utterly helpless and presumably become property of their brothers who atleast have the ability to make money, even if it doesn't seem to be much or in any skillful way.

In my opinion, this isolation and the way that the Maxwell parents have deprived the girls of any self reliance skills is the worst part of the abuse they dole out. They can survive on plain bean burritos and seven layer salads and they can survive on contact with a tiny and restricted group of people, but without an education and the ability to support themselves in the real world, they are essentially small children. Steve and Teri deserve so much punishment for this.

[Melissa1977]

I've been years in FJ. I remember at least one poster who knew Maxwells personally and stated that Sarah had had some suitors, but she (in some ocasions) and Steve (in others) rejected the relationship.

Maxwells traveled a lot and had a lot of interaction with other fundies when Sarah was in her twenties. She could have easily found a husband, but both she&dad were too scared, too entitled and too perfectionist. 

Then, they stopped travelling. They got more and more isolated. Things got harder for Anna and Mary, not only because the lack of social interaction, but also because I think that if the elder sister is single, they may feel guilty to court. Or even be banned from courting, not directly, but in a passive-agressive way.

[nelliebelle1197]

Why are people posting in this troll’s thread? This troll does not even go to the Church of the Holy Storage Unit. It is a liar and likes to stir things up. Ignore it.

[Howl]

I see Sarah ending up with a much older man on his second marriage.  I can't say how old she'd be at that point...

[fundiefan]

Since the dog & pony show no longer exists, where would they possibly meet someone? 

Their "church" is only populated by "the elderly". Sarah visits friends, but they're friends with either a quiver of their own or a bunch of younger siblings that they are caring for - and Sarah spends those trips "helping". 

Their entire circle is their family. Anna & Mary are co-parents for NR Anna & Melanie. Their idea of a special evening is yet another scheduled hour of having a kid or five over for special grandparent's time. They "work" for all family money making ventures. Any time they are in public, like when they taunt people at the county fair, they are wrapped within the family. They self publish their books so there is no outside interaction with other human beings. 

They don't leave their bubble and I don't think they want to. They don't honestly know they can, or should. They've been programmed to fear the world and think that the cult their father created is the only way to heaven. 

They never have 'dated' and never will. If one ever gets married I will sincerely be shocked. 

[usmcmom]

I think Steve has deliberately kept his daughters from courting/marrying because:

He cannot give up control of his three female offspring/cult members.

Teri cannot manage the household without them.

Any children they might have would not be Maxwells.

Teri cannot stand the stress of planning and hosting a wedding.

To allow his daughters to marry would be to rob his sons of their on-call nannies. 

He believes his family is far above all others and to let his daughters marry would be sinking in status.  He only let his sons marry because the wives moved to the compound and all the grandchildren will be TRUE Maxwells.  I think he believed all his sons married down until Chelsy came along.  In her family, Steve sees people who are bigger names than he, people who won’t bow to his authority.  I think this has caused a lot of resentment in him. It could be said that Chelsy is the one who married down.   Just my opinion, of course

*****

I believe Steve hates and fears the world more than he loves his children and this “sheltering” of his daughters is just one way that manifests itself.