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GeraldineGrainger

Candy's "Midlife Crisis Bikini"

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GeraldineGrainger

From her most recent 4th of July video. But it's totally okay, guys! She explains everything at the end! 

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fundiefan

There so should have been a trigger warning for seeing that image. I am now ill. 

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GeraldineGrainger
Just now, fundiefan said:

There so should have been a trigger warning for seeing that image. I am now ill. 

Definitely don't read the comments then. *gag*

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pook

Didn't this chic used to wear a head covering?  Now she is wearing a bikini, huh?  Also what's the diagonal dark area running just below her naval?

 

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GeraldineGrainger
1 minute ago, pook said:

Didn't this chic used to wear a head covering?  Now she is wearing a bikini, huh?  Also what's the diagonal dark area running just below her naval?

 

Yes, and she always preached that women should be "dresses only,"  (all of her dresses resembling floral shower curtains) because modesty. She even did several photo shoots of herself, wearing various "swim dresses." She basically spent the last decade preaching and acting holier than thou, and now all of sudden it's okay for her to wear a bikini because she's having a midlife crisis, and it was hot. 

 

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fundiefan

She still does wear rags on her head. She's spent years telling women how to be modest and spending fortunes on so called modest swim dresses. Now, bikinis are ok, I guess. 

Don't expect much else from her. She really doesn't have any actual convictions; she is all about image and appearance. Before she told the world they needed to cover their heads, she spent years saying how unchristian it was to do so. 

Her religion is a revolving door, used to justify her personal choices and behaviors.

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Georgiana
2 minutes ago, pook said:

Didn't this chic used to wear a head covering?  Now she is wearing a bikini, huh?  Also what's the diagonal dark area running just below her naval?

 

Yes.  In fact, she wasn't JUST head covering.  She also believed that women who DIDN'T cover their heads were at risk of being impregnated by demons.  These half-demon, half-human children would grow up to do terrible things like become the Pope.  Mostly just become the Pope. I'm not sure what the other ones do, but become Cardinals, I assume, and then the strongest is elected Pope?  Candy's demonic Catholicism fanfiction canon is hard to keep track of, but it's demons and Popes all the way down.

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fundiefan
1 minute ago, Georgiana said:

Yes.  In fact, she wasn't JUST head covering.  She also believed that women who DIDN'T cover their heads were at risk of being impregnated by demons.  These half-demon, half-human children would grow up to do terrible things like become the Pope.  Mostly just become the Pope. I'm not sure what the other ones do, but become Cardinals, I assume, and then the strongest is elected Pope?  Candy's demonic Catholicism fanfiction canon is hard to keep track of, but it's demons and Popes all the way down.

And black mass in the woods. 

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Georgiana
2 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Her religion is a revolving door, used to justify her personal choices and behaviors.

My favorite part is how it's ABSOLUTELY SINFUL to sleep with your partner before marriage.  Except for Candy and her husband Erick, who moved in together when she was still a teenager and he was an adult.  THAT was OK because the Holy Spirit personally told them they could do that.  But it's bad for everyone else, mmkay?

1 minute ago, fundiefan said:

And black mass in the woods. 

Thank GOODNESS Sasquatch was out there throwing rocks at Candy in the woods to keep her away from such rituals or she might have inadvertently stumbled into one!

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Depressed
formergothardite
11 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

THAT was OK because the Holy Spirit personally told them they could do that. 

Well it ends up the Holy Spirit told me the same thing!

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Waffle Time
mango_fandango
35 minutes ago, pook said:

Didn't this chic used to wear a head covering?  Now she is wearing a bikini, huh?  Also what's the diagonal dark area running just below her naval?

 

Pretty sure the dark diagonal area is just the shadow of her arm. 

I know practically zilch about Candy. Something tells me I don’t really want to know... 

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Georgiana
1 minute ago, mango_fandango said:

Pretty sure the dark diagonal area is just the shadow of her arm. 

I know practically zilch about Candy. Something tells me I don’t really want to know... 

Candy's big thing was her Home Management Binder.  This was a major innovation, because before Candy, no one knew how to use a binder to organize papers and schedules!  Totally unique!  What you did was you got a binder, and then you put schedules in there for your home and family, and then you would never forget anything because you had your schedules in a binder!  So like on Wednesday you could just flip to Wednesday and you would have your Wednesday chores and schedule and stuff!  Wow!  Sorry if I'm blowing your mind here.  I get that this is very unique and you probably can't even fathom this completely new use of a binder that most kids weren't learning in like primary school before technology or anything.  But seriously!  So organized and you'll never forget anything again! Except for things like car tabs, because she did totally forget to renew those, but that wasn't her fault for reasons.  

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FloraKitty35

My first thought on that picture was get a tan before shooting a bikini photo.  

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Aine

I have no idea who this woman is but she sounds more delusional than many of the people we follow here. All of the people followed tend to be blind to some of their hypocritical actions but this seems next level 😬

Is there any place I can find a summary?

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Pianokeeper
2 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

My first thought on that picture was get a tan before shooting a bikini photo.  

I disagree 100%. Not to say I'm delighted with her hypocrisy, just... criticizing someone's genetically determined skin tone REALLY rubs me the wrong way.

On my personal list of summertime women's clothing DOs and DON'Ts: 

DON'T: 

1. Preach at other women to be more modest, more fashionable, or anything other than what they feel comfortable being

2. Be a raving fundamentalist lunatic who insists on creating special weird exceptions for yourself to all the rules you delineate on your creepy-ass blog 

 

DO: 

1. Wear whatever makes you happy as long as you don't insist others look like you do

2. Be sun safe

3. Feel free to be happy in your natural skin tone, be it pale as copy paper or dark as Vantablack 

 

EXTRA CREDIT!

4. Work toward eliminating racism and colorism, actively combating our weird societal expectations about "pretty" skin colors

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Mrs Ms
4 minutes ago, Pianokeeper said:

I disagree 100%. Not to say I'm delighted with her hypocrisy, just... criticizing someone's genetically determined skin tone REALLY rubs me the wrong way.

On my personal list of summertime women's clothing DOs and DON'Ts: 

DON'T: 

1. Preach at other women to be more modest, more fashionable, or anything other than what they feel comfortable being

2. Be a raving fundamentalist lunatic who insists on creating special weird exceptions for yourself to all the rules you delineate on your creepy-ass blog 

 

DO: 

1. Wear whatever makes you happy as long as you don't insist others look like you do

2. Be sun safe

3. Feel free to be happy in your natural skin tone, be it pale as copy paper or dark as Vantablack 

 

EXTRA CREDIT!

4. Work toward eliminating racism and colorism, actively combating our weird societal expectations about "pretty" skin colors

Do

1a. Follow the clothing laws of your country 

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Georgiana

@Aine and @meee, Candy was my gateway fundie, so I’ll do my best to provide a summary on her. Before I begin, I want to note that Candy is notoriously difficult to summarize because as @fundiefan noted, both her beliefs and backstory are revolving doors  that she changes up to suit her needs. 

Candy was at the beginning of the fundie “Keeper of the Home” blogger trend and one of the first to gain a large enough following and presence that she attracted the notice of those outside the movement and was able to monetize her blog to a certain extent. This last piece though was mitigated heavily by Candy also being a leading pioneer in developing the Art of the Flounce, which she was prone to do in dramatic fashion any time something didn’t go her way. Candy promoted her “Home Management Binder” as an innovative way for Keepers at Home to keep their homes and responsibilities organized, which as I noted above, was not so innovative as it was just “using a binder”. But this was par for the course with Candy who loved to dress up basic ideas and common sense and claim that they were her own, brand new life hacks and shortcuts. This actually made her somewhat useful because she did write up nice checklists for common things that people could print out and refer to. Not innovative or genius like she thought they were, but things like her “quick clean checklist” were actually not half bad to have around in a pinch. If Candy has been a little less convinced of her own absolute genius and mental superiority, she really could have made something of her blog. 

Shes married to Erick, who I never care enough about to remember if he spells his name with a c or a k, but he’s icky so I just spell it with an “ick”. And by “icky” I mean that the young adult Erick pursued underage teenage Candy at her job in the mall until he had convinced her to live with him. I believe Candy was 17 at this time? The story is very questionable what with Candy’s age and Erick’s persistence until she relented, but she assures us that the Holy Spirit personally condoned it. They have 4 kids, and “super genius inventor” Erick could never hold down a job (or invent anything), so they tended to move a lot. ALWAYS to Candy’s “dream home” which she would always brag about by tearing other people’s homes down. This culminated in a particularly epic flounce when Candy once did a home tour of her latest “dream home” and a reader commented that she lived in the same model home.  The reader was delighted to find Candy loved the home as much as she did, wanted to discuss some interesting bits of the house with her, but let slip that it was a mobile/modular home. This is probably because the reader felt no shame in living in a mobile/modular home as they make a lot of sense in many areas, but Candy FREAKED OUT that she outed her for living in one. 

Candy really hates Catholics, who she believes do infant sacrifices at secret Black masses in the woods on Sundays. She’s also claimed to be an ELITE member of MENSA, bullied out of an elite modeling school for being too good at modeling, and naturally a prophet with a direct line to Jesus. She claimed that Sasquatch used to throw rocks at her in the woods. 

Theres far more, but that’s a brief rundown. 

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Spent
Dreadcrumbs
15 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Before I begin, I want to note that Candy is notoriously difficult to summarize because as @fundiefan noted, both her beliefs and backstory are revolving doors  that she changes up to suit her needs.

So kind of like Zsu but crazier?

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Caroline
28 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

@Aine and @meee, Candy was my gateway fundie, so I’ll do my best to provide a summary on her. Before I begin, I want to note that Candy is notoriously difficult to summarize because as @fundiefan noted, both her beliefs and backstory are revolving doors  that she changes up to suit her needs. 

Candy was at the beginning of the fundie “Keeper of the Home” blogger trend and one of the first to gain a large enough following and presence that she attracted the notice of those outside the movement and was able to monetize her blog to a certain extent. This last piece though was mitigated heavily by Candy also being a leading pioneer in developing the Art of the Flounce, which she was prone to do in dramatic fashion any time something didn’t go her way. Candy promoted her “Home Management Binder” as an innovative way for Keepers at Home to keep their homes and responsibilities organized, which as I noted above, was not so innovative as it was just “using a binder”. But this was par for the course with Candy who loved to dress up basic ideas and common sense and claim that they were her own, brand new life hacks and shortcuts. This actually made her somewhat useful because she did write up nice checklists for common things that people could print out and refer to. Not innovative or genius like she thought they were, but things like her “quick clean checklist” were actually not half bad to have around in a pinch. If Candy has been a little less convinced of her own absolute genius and mental superiority, she really could have made something of her blog. 

Shes married to Erick, who I never care enough about to remember if he spells his name with a c or a k, but he’s icky so I just spell it with an “ick”. And by “icky” I mean that the young adult Erick pursued underage teenage Candy at her job in the mall until he had convinced her to live with him. I believe Candy was 17 at this time? The story is very questionable what with Candy’s age and Erick’s persistence until she relented, but she assures us that the Holy Spirit personally condoned it. They have 4 kids, and “super genius inventor” Erick could never hold down a job (or invent anything), so they tended to move a lot. ALWAYS to Candy’s “dream home” which she would always brag about by tearing other people’s homes down. This culminated in a particularly epic flounce when Candy once did a home tour of her latest “dream home” and a reader commented that she lived in the same model home.  The reader was delighted to find Candy loved the home as much as she did, wanted to discuss some interesting bits of the house with her, but let slip that it was a mobile/modular home. This is probably because the reader felt no shame in living in a mobile/modular home as they make a lot of sense in many areas, but Candy FREAKED OUT that she outed her for living in one. 

Candy really hates Catholics, who she believes do infant sacrifices at secret Black masses in the woods on Sundays. She’s also claimed to be an ELITE member of MENSA, bullied out of an elite modeling school for being too good at modeling, and naturally a prophet with a direct line to Jesus. She claimed that Sasquatch used to throw rocks at her in the woods. 

Theres far more, but that’s a brief rundown. 

Don't forget her obsession with being a person with Autism.  It's not clear whether she's self-diagnosed or not, but she's also a major fan of all things Briggs-Meyers.  She's special in many ways and also way smarter than anyone else she knows or has ever known.  She homeschool herself because she's just that smart.

Edited by Caroline
*homeschooled

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Briefly

She sounds like she's a combination of Zsu, Lori Alexander (because she's such a hypocrite) with a little Lady Lydia thrown in for good measure.  Is there a link to her blog or a way to look her up?  She sounds very interesting.  In a get the ferrets ready kind of way.

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Nervous
AliceInFundyland

She also is hugely against doctors. She had a bleeding episode lasting 30 odd days. Finally she was prayed over at McDonald's. That fixed it.

But my God the binders. She loves the binders.

Eyes2jesus.blogspot.com

And we have a thread - from at least early last year with the bleeding - candy brauer

The blog is quite thorough with her constant attention to her various obsessions. You need to watch videos too.

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Dreadcrumbs

Zsu and Lori can move over, it looks like Candy is going to be my new fave. 😂

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Caroline
1 minute ago, AliceInFundyland said:

She also is hugely against doctors. She had a bleeding episode lasting 30 odd days. Finally she was prayed over at McDonald's. That fixed it.

But my God the binders. She loves the binders.

Eyes2jesus.blogspot.com

And we have a thread - from at least early last year with the bleeding - candy brauer

The blog is quite thorough with her constant attention to her various obsessions. You need to watch videos too.

These days she's kind of boring: binders, Bible, Why Christmas is evil, and a few more things. I'm an organized person, but I don't get the binder thing.  She must have a room for just storing all of the ones she has acquired.

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Nervous
AliceInFundyland

I agree

I hadn't tuned in until I noticed this bikini incident

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