Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

[Lurker]

I just checked Carlin’s Insta and the pictures of Joy and Austin.  Joy is fully made up so I think photography and/or filming was going on at the hospital.

[sableduck]

I don’t believe in hating, but if I ever make an exception, it will be for Pickles.

She is vile.

[Tiny Bubbles]

Oh no, how very sad.  Poor Joy, what an absolutely  devastating experience.  My gratitude as well as my heartfelt sympathy also goes to all the FJ-ers who have shared their own losses here. 

[HermioneSparrow]

While it might seem odd Carlin's post, Joy probably agreed to it. Carlin is a really good friend and I'm glad she's there with Joy.

[SillyDillys]

I am glad carlin is there for her.  It might be hard surrounded by all the expecting sisters. I really hope TLC is respectful of Joy and Austin's wishes if they choose to share it or not. Unfortunately according to Tlc's standpoint this is good television because everybody will be interested. 

Also I want to fight pickles. I'm convinced she doesn't have a soul, to do something that vile. I would say I am more lenient on snarkable things because that's on them if they choose to seek out the boards. But something like this is too damn far. I just want to slap the ?? out of her

[jljohnson527]

I’m so sorry for her. I wouldn’t wish a loss on anyone, especially one so late.


She’s going to be routinely brought into pro-choice/pro-life debates now, and I have mixed feelings about that. Situations like hers very often lead to abortions that would now be illegal in many states. She and her family have fought in support of these laws. I’m sure they won’t “get” it, but my heart just hurts on different sides. Joy never chose to be in the spotlight. This really sucks.

[JillyO]

19 minutes ago, Lurker said:

I just checked Carlin’s Insta and the pictures of Joy and Austin.  Joy is fully made up so I think photography and/or filming was going on at the hospital.

Joy actually commented the following on Carlin's post:

Quote

austinandjoyforsyth

@carlinbates98
Thank you so much for being there for me and doing my hair and makeup for photos with our sweet baby girl! You brought joy to my heart during this very difficult time! I love you dearly!

The fact that Carlin was there, and that she did Joy's hair and make-up for pictures, actually gives me some hope that this wasn't filmed by TLC. Because they won't allow Carlin to be on their show, and I imagine they would have had a professional do her hair/make-up instead. Of course, this is all conjecture. Could be they just filmed around Carlin or told her to stay out of the way (wouldn't put it past them). And even if they didn't film at the hospital, it doesn't mean they won't do an episode about their loss and the funeral. But I hope they at least left Joy and Austin alone as she delivered and while they got to hold their baby.

[Kelsey]

Carlin did an amazing job on Joy's make up and hair. I wonder why she wasn't interested in cosmetology at Clown but at least she got a real degree. 

Not that it matters now (especially at this time) but I don't think I've ever seen Joy look better.

I hope Joy and Austin are able to keep any pictures that were taken private- if they want to do so. 

[tabitha2]

29 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

@Palimpsest.  I took @tabitha2 comment to mean discuss TLC and preconceived notions about Lauren and Joy.  But, if not and come to think of it, probably not what she meant.  I totally agree with your view that it is important for us women to discuss openly if we choose to.  Otherwise,  what? We are " keeping sweet"? Ew. No. This is a fact of life and it happens often as we see here.  Big hugs to you.  Loss is difficult.  

 

Why probably not?  You were right the first time. 

[frugalitymom]

1 hour ago, Kelsey said:

Carlin is with Joy, per Carlin's insta. She said Joy gave birth to baby Annabell. I feel so bad for Joy and Austin. What a traumatic situation.

I’m glad to hear she has a friend by her side through this. 

[VelociRapture]

5 minutes ago, JillyO said:

Joy actually commented the following on Carlin's post:

The fact that Carlin was there, and that she did Joy's hair and make-up for pictures, actually gives me some hope that this wasn't filmed by TLC. Because they won't allow Carlin to be on their show, and I imagine they would have had a professional do her hair/make-up instead. Of course, this is all conjecture. Could be they just filmed around Carlin or told her to stay out of the way (wouldn't put it past them). And even if they didn't film at the hospital, it doesn't mean they won't do an episode about their loss and the funeral. But I hope they at least left Joy and Austin alone as she delivered and while they got to hold their baby.

I saw people mentioning that in the comments, but didn’t see Joy’s actual comment. I’m really glad Carlin was there and was able to offer Joy and Austin support in that way. It had to be genuinely comforting to have her best friend by her side during such a horrible experience. Having Carlin do her hair and makeup could have been especially comforting in some ways as well. It can be very soothing for some people to have someone care for them in that way during times of severe distress. 

[Beermeet]

3 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

 

Why probably not?  You were right the first time. 

Because the topic is mostly about the loss. That's all. Yay! I was right. Seriously, typing thoughts is hard and so is reading them, sometimes. Ya know? Nothing deeper than that. 90% loss conversion, chances are. 10% you directly responded to above post. Especially in faster moving threads. 

[albireo]

Carlin can be very snarkable at times, and she and Joy are very different, but clearly they have a deep and genuine connection. Carlin is being a great friend to Joy right now, and I'm so glad that in their fundie culture where negative emotions are suppressed and friendships are suspect, Joy can have her support during such a tragic time. I wish Joy and Austin (and Gideon, though he'll likely only come to terms with the loss of Annabell later) peace and healing.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Devastating news. I don't have much to say that hasn't been said already.

I wonder how many times women in this family (and in any other fundie mega family) will go through this. Just this year there have been two baby losses that we know of, yet there are still others who are expecting. As more Duggars marry and reproduce, odds are this will keep happening. I hope there is plenty of support for these women. The thought of them continuing to go through this until their babymaking years are over is really sad.

[HurricaneBells]

Carlin is a good friend and that first picture breaks my heart.. they both look so sad and lost. I cant imagine how they would be feeling, no matter what their beliefs after death. I hope Austin gets the support he needs as well, so he can be strong for her. 

[AliceInFundyland]

Yeah, I never quite knew understood what the level of the Joy/Carlin friendship really was. We don't see much and their outward appearing persons are very different. This is nice. This is what bff's do. Even just married ones with tons of sisters and moms who have all the birthing experiences. It's the most unselfish thing I have ever seen from Carlin and I am duly impressed.

We discussed awhile ago that she had a lot of self esteem issues as preadolescent. And Joy has also mentioned that she has struggled with faith. I wonder if being in the middle of the pack has been a point of solidarity for both girls.

[mango_fandango]

That’s lovely that Carlin was there to provide support for Joy. 

Pickles is disgusting. Someone compared her to Jill Rod... I so agree. They keep going lower and lower. Utterly despicable people.

[Glasgowghirl]

Carlin has definitely been a true friend to Joy and rushed to her and Austin's side so soon after she herself has gotten married. 

6 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Pickles is disgusting. Someone compared her to Jill Rod... I so agree. They keep going lower and lower. Utterly despicable people.

Her and Jill seem to be in competition to see who can sink lower, Pickles is beginning to over take her. Her speculation about Grandma Duggar was bad enough without her doing the same with Annabell.

[bella8050]

I just went to look at the pictures on Carlin's page...welp thats enough to make me tear up. I hope getting to spend some time with Annabell was good for them. I just can't even imagine what I would do in such a situation. 

I dread this being on CO. If it is I hope they give them some space and time to talk about this only when they feel comfortable about it.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

39 minutes ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

Devastating news. I don't have much to say that hasn't been said already.

I wonder how many times women in this family (and in any other fundie mega family) will go through this. Just this year there have been two baby losses that we know of, yet there are still others who are expecting. As more Duggars marry and reproduce, odds are this will keep happening. I hope there is plenty of support for these women. The thought of them continuing to go through this until their babymaking years are over is really sad.

It is something I hope fundie families handle properly. Without shaming anyone or causing more pain. Because it’s unfortunately pretty common to have a loss. Yes, most do happen in the first trimester unlike Joy’s second trimester loss which is more rare. But 1/4 to 1/3 of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Michelle was an outlier. She only had 2 losses and 19 live children. Most quiverful fundies have higher numbers of losses. It’s heartbreaking but I’m afraid it’s going to happen. And I hope people are supportive of the grieving parents. 

[jillsdopplerofdoom]

9 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Her and Jill seem to be in competition to see who can sink lower, Pickles is beginning to over take her. Her speculation about Grandma Duggar was bad enough without her doing the same with Annabell.

Personally though I think it's bad enough to speculate about a living adult who passes away but speculating about an innocent baby who didn't have the chance to live a life (IMO) is a whole lot worse. Just shut up Pickles, if JoStin know and want to tell people why their baby died then that is their choice, NOT yours!!!! Now is definitely not the time for speculation either.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I find it odd that the family is a big 4th of July celebration while Joy is in the hospital. I'm assuming she delivered Annabell yesterday or today if Carlin just posted those photos. It seems strange to see them all standing around playing games while their sister is enduring the biggest pain and suffering a in her life.  But the Duggar's are a strange lot that is for sure.   

I found the photos weird of Joy all done up weird and the selfie with Carlin even weirder, but seeing Joy post how grateful she was for Carlin doing her hair and make up and being there for them while she had her angel baby it seems sweet and I guess it will be comforting to them later after the whirlwind of the last week and the coming one as they start to move on with out their daughter. 

As for fucking pickles, UGH unless Joy & Austin tell us what happened we have no business knowing what happened, it is their business and theirs alone.  Their child died that is all we need to know. 

[Nicole Jinger Duggar]

I just pictured little Joy from the specials and now I'm really sad, like... this young woman is barely out of her teens and had a baby and now a devastating loss...I can't even imagine. 

[SilverBeach]

7 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Mayo Clinic describes the multiple reasons for a D&C, mainly, to treat a miscarriage or perform an abortion.

I had a D&C for uterine polyps with excessive bleeding, and was not pregnant. 

I hope any funeral/memorial is private if that is what Joy and Austin want. Not everybody needs to see everything. 

[jillsdopplerofdoom]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

The fact that Carlin was there, and that she did Joy's hair and make-up for pictures, actually gives me some hope that this wasn't filmed by TLC. Because they won't allow Carlin to be on their show, and I imagine they would have had a professional do her hair/make-up instead. Of course, this is all conjecture. Could be they just filmed around Carlin or told her to stay out of the way (wouldn't put it past them). And even if they didn't film at the hospital, it doesn't mean they won't do an episode about their loss and the funeral. But I hope they at least left Joy and Austin alone as she delivered and while they got to hold their baby.

TLC could just blur Carlin's face out though like they did with Jill.

I don't really know much about the girl but Carlin gets a lot of respect from me for being there for her friend at such a difficult time. In fact, a lot of people have been helping. I saw on Insta stories earlier that Jana was babysitting Gideon. I know that in the cult Joy will not be getting all the support she could if she wasn't in it but at least people aren't just expecting her to get on with it alone.