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Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning


laPapessaGiovanna

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I also have a question.
What are rules like involving sperm banks in your country?
I believe that here a donor may only be used 5 times (due to issues that have arisen in the past) I could be wrong about that.
A man should certainly have agency over his sperm. But it does strike me as faintly alarming that he's out there at the age of late 30s and doing this with only his own altruistic motivation.
Perhaps I am completely mistaken. If so, I truly apologize.
Could you possibly provide some more context? I am not seeing the appeal.


Its not done through an agency or sperm bank. There isn’t easy access to a sperm bank here, through fertility specialists the wait is 8 years at the moment for sperm donations. There are loads of hoops to jump for that (the process for the donor can take 2-3 years to be approved as a donor).

Hers is done privately, with lawyers documents drawn up and signed well in advance to starting anything.

Doesn’t appear to be any limits on “usage” that shes seen. 5 babies in 10 years isn’t a huge amount, another donor she met with has had 3-7 babies a YEAR for the past 6 years, he was a hard no for her. He was one who also suggested “doing it the old fashioned way” [emoji2961]
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@kiwi

Ah. Well that makes a bit more sense then. If there is so much waiting time I can see why one might opt for a private arrangement.

I appreciate your patience with the questions.

I'm definitely not an expert.

And much as we discuss birthing differences between all our various countries, I haven't seen this particular topic come up before.

Also good to hear that all the legal stuff happens of course.

Thank you.

Edited by AliceInFundyland
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18 hours ago, MadameOvary said:

@nolongerIFBx Is wisdom teeth extraction usually done under general anaesthesia in the US? Where I am it is normally done with local anaesthesia, in fact the only friend who has had any kind of dental work done under GA had hers done in America. I am also scared of being put under, so I'm glad I didn't have to be! I had mine done under local and honestly it was not a big deal, even when one of my wisdom teeth had really crooked roots and had to be dug up in little pieces. So maybe this would be an option for you?

Wisdom teeth can be extracted with local anesthesia. Only one of mine has erupted (the sideways one with the cavity in it) so that is why it is a surgery and has to be done by an oral surgeon rather than in the dentists office. Other than the IV needle to put me out (I'm needle phobic and I've been told IVs are the worst), I'm glad I won't be awake. I have crooked roots too and the hygienist told me that if I ever needed regular teeth extracted, some would have to be done by an oral surgeon. I really hope that if I get the wisdom teeth out I'll be done!

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I had all 4 removed at the same time under general.  The bottom 2 were impacted and removing impacted teeth is more difficult hence the general.

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8 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Wisdom teeth can be extracted with local anesthesia. Only one of mine has erupted (the sideways one with the cavity in it) so that is why it is a surgery and has to be done by an oral surgeon rather than in the dentists office. Other than the IV needle to put me out (I'm needle phobic and I've been told IVs are the worst), I'm glad I won't be awake. I have crooked roots too and the hygienist told me that if I ever needed regular teeth extracted, some would have to be done by an oral surgeon. I really hope that if I get the wisdom teeth out I'll be done!

I had most of my baby teeth pulled due to crowding and spacing issues. I think the first were pulled when I was in first or second grade and I was given the numbing stuff they inject into your gums. I remember being scared, but my Dentist (who I still see) is the nicest guy, was so good about explaining exactly what he was doing before he did it, and made sure the area was numb before he started. He also let me bring my favorite stuffed animal with me, so I had a friend to cuddle with. He pulled a few of my baby teeth out at a time and always said I was one of his bravest patients despite how young I was. So getting those pulled wasn't bad at all in my personal experience. 

I was put under when a surgeon pulled three of my wisdom teeth though. I can’t remember why now, but one might have been impacted. He left the fourth because the top tooth above it needed a place to rest or something. Being put under was pretty great because I didn’t remember anything. I didn’t really need pain medication afterwards either and I wound up eating a cheeseburger my now FIL made me that night for dinner, though recovery will really differ from person to person. I’d suggest stocking up on cold and soft foods like pudding, jello, apple sauce, etc. ahead of time so you have stuff that’s easy to eat and will feel soothing just in case you need it. 

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1 minute ago, VelociRapture said:

I had most of my baby teeth pulled due to crowding and spacing issues. I think the first were pulled when I was in first or second grade and I was given the numbing stuff they inject into your gums. I remember being scared, but my Dentist (who I still see) is the nicest guy, was so good about explaining exactly what he was doing before he did it, and made sure the area was numb before he started. He also let me bring my favorite stuffed animal with me, so I had a friend to cuddle with. He pulled a few of my baby teeth out at a time and always said I was one of his bravest patients despite how young I was. So getting those pulled wasn't bad at all in my personal experience. 

I was put under when a surgeon pulled three of my wisdom teeth though. I can’t remember why now, but one might have been impacted. He left the fourth because the top tooth above it needed a place to rest or something. Being put under was pretty great because I didn’t remember anything. I didn’t really need pain medication afterwards either and I wound up eating a cheeseburger my now FIL made me that night for dinner, though recovery will really differ from person to person. I’d suggest stocking up on cold and soft foods like pudding, jello, apple sauce, etc. ahead of time so you have stuff that’s easy to eat and will feel soothing just in case you need it. 

Thank you! I seem to mostly hear the horror stories (dry socket, in pain for a week). I do already have a list of drugs to ask for pre and post-surgery but I'll stock up on the soft foods too. Hoping I'll be fortunate and not be in a great deal of pain but trying to plan for the worst.

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I sure hope you are able to get some decent drugs (if you want them!) It's painful and definitely something that, imo, could use a few days of narcotic relief.

My mom was pureeing all of my stuff - chili, soup, everything.

As said, it's subjective. Mine were perpendicular to the others.

Yet I don't think it was the worst possible. I saw someone in her 30s on TV this week who was just having them come in. She was getting headaches and looked wretched. When they came out she was in bed for three days with her head wrapped up in ice.

Good ? ? luck!

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My kid (16) is getting her wisdom teeth pulled next Friday, just before school starts. Two are impacted, two are growing sideways. I just spent $$$ to fix her teeth with braces, so I'm not about to let the wisdom teeth push everything out of alignment. She's going under, and it's covered by our insurance. When I got my teeth pulled, I paid extra to go under, because I'm a wimp and didn't want to deal with it (my husband just had general, and he said he felt the pressure of them pulling on his jaw). She also went under when they had to remove four molars a few years ago, because she just didn't have space for them in her jaw.

My middle and youngest kid have had teeth pulled, but only with general. The youngest had three baby teeth pulled, because they were trapped. The middle had her canine pulled, because she only had one adult canine form- so for symmetry, we had the other pulled.

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1 hour ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Thank you! I seem to mostly hear the horror stories (dry socket, in pain for a week). I do already have a list of drugs to ask for pre and post-surgery but I'll stock up on the soft foods too. Hoping I'll be fortunate and not be in a great deal of pain but trying to plan for the worst.

Yeah, it really just depends on the individual person to be honest. I was lucky to have prior experience with getting teeth pulled, so I had some idea of what to expect and I also was pretty lucky not to get dry socket. Swishing salt water very gently a few times a day, brushing very carefully and gently, drinking plenty of fluids, and avoiding foods that could dislodge the clot can all really help prevent dry socket - but sometimes it happens anyways. Having some sort of pain medication and ice packs available is definitely a good choice just in case. Last thing you want is to have to run out to the store (or send someone out for you) if you’re in pain or not feeling well. Hopefully you have an experience similar to mine though. Best of luck! :) 

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7 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Yeah, it really just depends on the individual person to be honest. I was lucky to have prior experience with getting teeth pulled, so I had some idea of what to expect and I also was pretty lucky not to get dry socket. Swishing salt water very gently a few times a day, brushing very carefully and gently, drinking plenty of fluids, and avoiding foods that could dislodge the clot can all really help prevent dry socket - but sometimes it happens anyways. Having some sort of pain medication and ice packs available is definitely a good choice just in case. Last thing you want is to have to run out to the store (or send someone out for you) if you’re in pain or not feeling well. Hopefully you have an experience similar to mine though. Best of luck! :) 

Ice packs are a must. Use them right away! 

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Having a teeth pulled vs having them surgically extracted is a big difference in the pain level. I've had a tooth pulled, with Novocain, no pain. but my wisdom teeth were all impacted and growing in either sideways or under existing teeth, the same with both my kids, we all had ours removed under general anesthetic because none of us wanted to be away for it.  

I will 2nd the ice packs they are the BEST. Keep up on pain meds either narcotic or OTC, for the 1st 24 to 36 hours and then see how you do, but keep the ice packs on as much as possible. It made a world of difference with both my kids vs what I had. They have a handy new face sling that holds ice packs where they need to be, and I didn't have that 30 years ago, it was just me holding frozen peas on my face. LOL  

Edited by allthegoodnamesrgone
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I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth out with Novocain and not all at the same time. They were growing in pretty well. I also had 4 adult teeth pulled as a teen when I got braces. I have a small mouth and the teeth were crowded. I was really lucky with my dentist. He never told me I was getting a shot of Novocain. He said it would be a slight pinch.... I had my eyes closed, never saw the needle. I thought it was just a small jab or something It was only as an adult I found out it was a shot from a big needle!!! 

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I have had about every dental procedure known to man and never had anything beyond Novocain, and have never really had a bad experience. I think my kids had IV sedation when they had their WT removed. They both breezed through as well, although my daughter only had 2 done, as the upper 2 are so high up the surgeon felt they were better off left alone.

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8 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I have had about every dental procedure known to man and never had anything beyond Novocain, and have never really had a bad experience. I think my kids had IV sedation when they had their WT removed. They both breezed through as well, although my daughter only had 2 done, as the upper 2 are so high up the surgeon felt they were better off left alone.

Glad her surgeon made that (wise imo) decision! Had my wisdom teeth removed back in April. My upper wisdom tooth was up so high that removing it caused a perforated sinus cavity. 

I'll spare the horror story of the first 3 weeks of recovery. However, its the end of July and my sinus perforation is still causing me problems! Should've left that one tooth alone :P 

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12 minutes ago, Belugaloo said:

My upper wisdom tooth was up so high that removing it caused a perforated sinus cavity. 

OMG, you poor thing! That sounds awful!

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I had a bruise the shape of the Surgeon’s hand on my neck and jaw with my wisdom teeth. (I bruise easily).  Glad I was out, but that night I had dinner and was at work the next day.  So not too bad.  

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39 minutes ago, Belugaloo said:

Glad her surgeon made that (wise imo) decision! Had my wisdom teeth removed back in April. My upper wisdom tooth was up so high that removing it caused a perforated sinus cavity. 

I'll spare the horror story of the first 3 weeks of recovery. However, its the end of July and my sinus perforation is still causing me problems! Should've left that one tooth alone :P 

I was told mine was close to the sinus cavity so I'll hope to avoid perforation.

Hope yours is on the way to healing!

All- Thanks for all the tips. I'll make sure I've got ice packs.

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Dental surgeries, I had a very bad experience that left me traumatized tbh. 

I'm pretty darn lucky that two human beings with no wisdom teeth procreated and made me so I don't have wisdom teeth (yay!). That being said, it was discovered after I had a terrible pain in my gums/jaw that turned out to be an internal tooth abscess and got surgery, I was 12.

I was really scared and anxious, moved during surgery and had a very deep cut in my gums. The recovery was awful, I stil remember the terrible headache for days... It was very traumatizing to me.

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5 minutes ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Dental surgeries, I had a very bad experience that left me traumatized tbh. 

I'm pretty darn lucky that two human beings with no wisdom teeth procreated and made me so I don't have wisdom teeth (yay!). That being said, it was discovered after I had a terrible pain in my gums/jaw that turned out to be an internal tooth abscess and got surgery, I was 12.

I was really scared and anxious, moved during surgery and had a very deep cut in my gums. The recovery was awful, I stil remember the terrible headache for days... It was very traumatizing to me.

I had an abscessed tooth. It went a lot easier. I think my teeth, for all the cavities, root canals etc..... seem to do well. 

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34 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

 

All- Thanks for all the tips. I'll make sure I've got ice packs.

Cold used tea bags!  My Oral Surgeon told me, the tannin speeds healing, alleviates any discomfort and stops bleeding.  It really works!  Apply directly on extraction site.

Edited by Don'tlikekoolaid
More info
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35 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

I was told mine was close to the sinus cavity so I'll hope to avoid perforation.

Hope yours is on the way to healing!

All- Thanks for all the tips. I'll make sure I've got ice packs.

oh yes!! Id mentioned It to your surgeon the day of surgery so they can make sure to check the status of your sinus cavity CLOSELY before closing you up.

 

I say this only because if they see a hole they can cover it pretty easily and it won't extend your recovery too much. However, if there was a hole and they miss it, you might end up like me. And by that I mean have an incision that won't close (for two whole weeks!) because your sinuses are draining directly through the incision in to your mouth- rather than down your throat like they should!

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6 hours ago, Belugaloo said:

Glad her surgeon made that (wise imo) decision! Had my wisdom teeth removed back in April. My upper wisdom tooth was up so high that removing it caused a perforated sinus cavity. 

I'll spare the horror story of the first 3 weeks of recovery. However, its the end of July and my sinus perforation is still causing me problems! Should've left that one tooth alone :P 

Where’s the OMG emoji?

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5 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

I was told mine was close to the sinus cavity so I'll hope to avoid perforation.

Hope yours is on the way to healing!

All- Thanks for all the tips. I'll make sure I've got ice packs.

One of mine was veryyyy close to entering the sinus on its own and that one was removed (under anesthesia) with no issues. The issue was when one of my other unruly wisdom tooths decided to encapsulate itself into a (benign) tumor-sac that had to be removed and ended up fracturing my jaw so, there's that. 

They did recommend avoiding straws because the suction could lead to a dry socket. Again, as others have said, sometimes you do everything "right" and they still happen though. Just do your best. I lived on mashed potatoes and drinkable yogurts for about a week. 

Edited by Casserole
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I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth out with Novocain and not all at the same time. They were growing in pretty well. I also had 4 adult teeth pulled as a teen when I got braces. I have a small mouth and the teeth were crowded. I was really lucky with my dentist. He never told me I was getting a shot of Novocain. He said it would be a slight pinch.... I had my eyes closed, never saw the needle. I thought it was just a small jab or something It was only as an adult I found out it was a shot from a big needle!!! 


I am oh, so happy to see that big needle of Novocain when I have anything beyond a tooth cleaning. Needles are totally not terrifying for me! For reasons that remain a mystery to me, as a child every single filling in my mouth was done with nothing for pain. Just a big metal device to clamp my jaw open and something to strap me in the seat. Needless to say, any work done now is preceded by copious amounts of anti-anxiety meds. And followed by the maximum allowable amount of pain relief. Happily, even through some really tough procedures I have been pain-free. Dental professionals care that you are not hurting. Things are SO much better now!
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I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled when I was 17. Local only. Went out partying that night. Minimal pain/swelling/discomfort (the booze and weed helped).

Honestly, getting my braces tightened (power chains anyone??) hurt worse and longer. 

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