Dillards 78: Taste the Rainbow

[Four is Enough]

Marylander here; grew up using honorifics... Sir, Ma'am, Sister, Father.... I wish people would call ME ma'am rather than honey, dearie, or Mom... I find it more respectful to be ma'am'ed.

In a recent hospitalization, I was called Auntie by a male PHilipino nurse... That was acceptable because I know it's an honorific.

 

[LillyP]

Count me in as another Southerner to says  "Sir" & "Ma'am". I'm in my mid-30's and still use it. I was taught that it's considered a sign of respect to those who are older than you or in a place of authority. I feel like it's universally known that people saying "Sir" & "Ma'am" are doing so out of respect, not because they're calling you old. I just never understood why people get so bent out of shape over someone saying "yes ma'am" to them? My husband grew up in NJ, most of his family is still there. I totally get the side-eye from relatives every time I say it. None of them have ever full on called me out on it but you better believe my child is getting raised to speak respectfully. 

[Longhairedheathen]

Another Southerner that says "sir or ma'am" as a sign of respect.

Now I have said "Yes'm" to my co-worker who acts like she is the supervisor and that is saying a version of ma'am in a disrespectfully way. It is when you you have to be respect but you really don't want too. 

[Leftitinmysnood]

18 hours ago, Georgiana said:

Another reason is the time period and the way in which many houses in California were built!  Older buildings in California are not infrequently equipped with basements.  I went to school in Southern CA on a historic campus, and all of the older buildings including the residence halls had spaces below ground level.  Similarly, many of the super old homes in the area also had basement spaces.

But the vast majority of homes in CA were built post-WWII.  That's when CA really got it's boom.  And home construction in that era can be described in two words: tract housing.  Tract housing can be awesome, actually, and it lead to the development of what we now recognize as the very trendy California Mid Century style, but basements were generally left out because they were expensive to build and not feasible in all cases.  Plus, there was no need to dig down to be below the frost line for footings like there is elsewhere in the country, so they were an added expense in CA that was unnecessary and could make porting the design more difficult.   Naturally, most home developers nixed them and opted instead to go the cheaper route and design homes without basements that could basically be erected whenever.  Culturally, people also feared the possibility of getting trapped in their basement in case of an earthquake...though the science on this was probably not sound.  But the end result was that barely anyone had a basement in CA after the midcentury boom.  

Nowadays, while all concerns with basements in CA have basically been abated due to technological advancements, they still aren't popular if only because people feel somewhat weird about being the only ones with a basement.  

Basement loving Californian here. You have no idea how much I want a basement. They would be so nice for our hot summers for the kids to have space inside. I had an aunt in Utah with an amazing basement with guest rooms, wet bar, pool table, etc. We spent hot afternoons down there all the time when we visited. 

It is interesting to read your reasons for the lack of basements. All the houses in my town that have them are pre WW2 - except those really fancy country club houses with wine caves. I've heard contactors talk about how they really aren't impractical in our terrain, but costs. Instead we are the land of sprawling mini-storage facilities. Alas, Mr. Snood is anti- old house.

[Satan'sFortress]

I grew up in Massachusetts but moved to Texas while still in school.  I had literally never heard Sir and Ma'am until we moved and I was so uncomfortable with it.  It was very much required in school, but I don't think that I ever said it. It just felt too weird.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

22 hours ago, LacyMay said:

One thing I did notice early on in the video is she corrects Israel to respond with "Yes Maam" to her. I hope this is a regional thing and not a sign that she's emulating her parents parenting style. The whole "instant obedience" thing makes me uncomfortable. 

I caught that "make good choices" from Jill when Izzy was throwing the basketball pillow. I remember Anna say that when correcting McKenzie a few years ago. I'm guessing that is their code for "behave or else" sounds much less ominous, until you realize what is coming after that if you don't "obey instantly" 

As for the ma'am and sir thing, that is a very southern thing along with calling adults/elders Miss Kathy or Mr. Jim Bob. I don't think I've ever heard the Duggerlings call JB or M mom and dad to their faces. Recently Jessa started calling Jim Bob pops, but I don't remember them calling them anything face to face when they were all younger, they use/used mom or momma & dad in the THs. 

[HarleyQuinn]

2 hours ago, theotherelise said:

Didn't Derrick do scouts? Sam could probably start that a year from now. Five years old is also about the youngest you could start t-ball or soccer.

 

Scouts let girls and teh gayz in them now so that's probably off the table. 

[Antipatriarch]

11 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Scouts let girls and teh gayz in them now so that's probably off the table. 

Ah, but now there's Trail Life USA (aka fundie scouts). You can put your sons in there without worrying that someone might expect them to treat girls and LGBTQ kids like they were, you know, equal in humanity or something.

[HereticHick]

7 minutes ago, Antipatriarch said:

Ah, but now there's Trail Life USA (aka fundie scouts). You can put your sons in there without worrying that someone might expect them to treat girls and LGBTQ kids like they were, you know, equal in humanity or something.

And for the future Lil' Homemakers, there is "American Heritage Girls"--https://americanheritagegirls.org/ 

You can earn an anti-choice badge through American Heritage girls: https://americanheritagegirls.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/RespectLife_PR_2019.pdf 

[finnlassie]

In Finland, it's not that common to use some sort of "honorifics", but there's one thing that I'm really accustomed to (and I think so are my friends). When talking to older folks, instead of saying "sinä", the singular of you, we use the plural of you, "te". Apparently it's common in Germany, too.

I only say Mrs (Rouva) to older women if they're, well, in my eyes 75+, because it's rather certain that they're either married or widows. For some reason I don't call older men Mr (Herra). I dunno why, really, it's not that uncommon that other people use it. The word also means gentleman in certain contexts... like, the first thing that comes to my mind is "Herra on nyt hyvä ja poistuu tästä baarista", which means "And you, gentleman, need to leave these premises (/this bar) right now." So uuuh... I mainly connect herra to misbehaving idiotic men I guess?

[WarriorJane]

15 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

And for the future Lil' Homemakers, there is "American Heritage Girls"--https://americanheritagegirls.org/ 

You can earn an anti-choice badge through American Heritage girls: https://americanheritagegirls.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/RespectLife_PR_2019.pdf 

And it allegedly outsells all the other badges.  

“One of the things that attract girls to AHG is our strong affirmation of a Biblical worldview, which includes respecting all life from conception to natural death,” says Garibay.  

I'm sure that's what attracts those five year olds. 

[NoKidsAndCounting]

Taken from the American Heritage Girls Page:

Our Inclusion Policy

All biological girls of any color, race, national origin and socioeconomic status who agree to live according to the standards of the AHG Oath and the AHG Creed are invited to be members of American Heritage Girls.

Well, I guess it's their right to say this, but it's still full of ugly. 

[MayMay1123]

4 minutes ago, NoKidsAndCounting said:

Taken from the American Heritage Girls Page:

Our Inclusion Policy

All biological girls of any color, race, national origin and socioeconomic status who agree to live according to the standards of the AHG Oath and the AHG Creed are invited to be members of American Heritage Girls.

Well, I guess it's their right to say this, but it's still full of ugly. 

Are they checking??? No one knows, or ever would be able to know without looking quite intimately,  that one of my cousins was born male. Just reading that phrasing made me feel disgusted...

[DarkAnts]

I am not surprised by the garage full of crap. The Duggar's are not known for throwing things out. They have entire warehouses full of junk. 

[nolongerIFBx]

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I caught that "make good choices" from Jill when Izzy was throwing the basketball pillow. I remember Anna say that when correcting McKenzie a few years ago. I'm guessing that is their code for "behave or else" sounds much less ominous, until you realize what is coming after that if you don't "obey instantly" 

. . . .

My sister uses "make good choices" and she is very anti-corporal punishment. She wants them to learn that their choices have consequences. Rather than automaton-like obedience, she wants them to think through their actions, what the outcomes of those potential actions will be, and, based on that information, "make good choices." Maybe that isn't the way Jill is using it but possibly she is giving the boys enough freedom to make choices when it is feasible.

[NoKidsAndCounting]

4 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

Are they checking??? No one knows, or ever would be able to know without looking quite intimately,  that one of my cousins was born male. Just reading that phrasing made me feel disgusted...

True.  These American Heritage Girl people are all the way gross.

[nolongerIFBx]

5 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

Are they checking??? No one knows, or ever would be able to know without looking quite intimately,  that one of my cousins was born male. Just reading that phrasing made me feel disgusted...

LOL- in one of the fundie extremist churches I was in, there was a rule against wearing anything from Victoria's Secret (because shopping there might make you think about sex/too nike?). I did wonder exactly how they were policing that rule.

[meee]

"Biological girls" isn't even just anatomy though. Do they demand a medical test to check chromosomes and make sure the girl is XX or whatever it's called?

[finnlassie]

"Are they checking" gives me the heebie jeebies, reminds me of my horrible p.e. teacher who said it's a shame they can no longer check for proof if we have periods or not

[meee]

1 hour ago, finnlassie said:

"Are they checking" gives me the heebie jeebies, reminds me of my horrible p.e. teacher who said it's a shame they can no longer check for proof if we have periods or not

What?! When did they ever check?! OMG!

[ViolaSebastian]

3 hours ago, finnlassie said:

In Finland, it's not that common to use some sort of "honorifics", but there's one thing that I'm really accustomed to (and I think so are my friends). When talking to older folks, instead of saying "sinä", the singular of you, we use the plural of you, "te". Apparently it's common in Germany, too.

I only say Mrs (Rouva) to older women if they're, well, in my eyes 75+, because it's rather certain that they're either married or widows. For some reason I don't call older men Mr (Herra). I dunno why, really, it's not that uncommon that other people use it. The word also means gentleman in certain contexts... like, the first thing that comes to my mind is "Herra on nyt hyvä ja poistuu tästä baarista", which means "And you, gentleman, need to leave these premises (/this bar) right now." So uuuh... I mainly connect herra to misbehaving idiotic men I guess?

Sounds like the equivalent of the U.S.'s "SIR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE." 

[Dreadcrumbs]

2 hours ago, meee said:

"Biological girls" isn't even just anatomy though. Do they demand a medical test to check chromosomes and make sure the girl is XX or whatever it's called?

I think we know the answer to that question.

Terms like "biological girls" have never been about actual biology. Biology is messier than they'd like to believe.

[purple_summer]

Ya'll were allowed to call adults by their first name??? I can feel my parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, ancestors etc slapping me through the computer screen? I still say ma'am and sir and call more adulty adults Ms/Mr name. It's hard enough being on a first name basis with my (older) coworkers, the thought of not using honorifics in my "real" life makes me anxious lol. 

[fluffernutter]

Mr. Fluffer and I always say "make good choices!" to our teenager when she leaves the house. Only it's just us being goofballs. I just don't think I could say it seriously. 

[feministxtian]

Ma'am and sir were part of my growing up in the south. It's continued to my children and grandchildren. Its a respect thing...My kids will say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to us even now. Dealing with someone on the phone, they will do the same. 

Look, just because YOU (generic you) don't like it, don't go slamming shit you don't like or understand. Sorta like saying "y'all" and "ain't" doesn't make you a dumb redneck. IF someone argues with me I will bombard you with YouTube videos of fucking astronauts using those words...and they ain't dumb rednecks.