Dillards 78: Taste the Rainbow

[lumpentheologie]

11 hours ago, Pretzel said:

That is why I still don't get the Jill-hate. I understand that people don't like (understatement) her husband and for very valid reasons, but Jill should not be judged on basis of her husband. Instead Jill needs to be held accountable for her own actions.

I agree that Jill is more interesting and promising than her sisters. But I do think we can judge her for Derick's actions too. In general I think you can judge people for the company they keep.  If my husband said noxious shit publicly and I didn't do anything to distance myself from it and just kept taking smiling pics next to him, that would count as an implicit endorsement of what he said. 

[Pretzel]

1 hour ago, lumpentheologie said:

I agree that Jill is more interesting and promising than her sisters. But I do think we can judge her for Derick's actions too. In general I think you can judge people for the company they keep.  If my husband said noxious shit publicly and I didn't do anything to distance myself from it and just kept taking smiling pics next to him, that would count as an implicit endorsement of what he said. 

Oh, I undoubtedly agree with that. However, my point is that Jill is getting hate for comparably innocuous stuff just because people can't stand her husband. Sometimes it seems as though SHE just can't do ANYTHING right. She often can't win because of her husband's actions. And that is wrong IMHO.

Jessa serves roast that barely looks like one. "Oh, she's broadening her horizons! Good for her!!111". Jill serves Zucchini that barely looks like one. "OMG! I would never eat glob like that! How dare she even call that food? Does she think that looks good? She has no self-awareness!"

It's obviously an exaggeration, but she gets backlash for things her sisters would be applauded for instead because people directly associate her with Derick and that is what I have an issue with. I don't think anyone in the whole clan is any better than the other. Some are just better at PR and therefore get judged a lot less. 

Edited July 30, 2019 by Pretzel

[Smee]

13 hours ago, Pretzel said:

That is why I still don't get the Jill-hate. I understand that people don't like (understatement) her husband and for very valid reasons, but Jill should not be judged on basis of her husband. Instead Jill needs to be held accountable for her own actions. She is an individual and as that she is incredibly weird and authentic at the same time. While Jill always seemed to love her role as the goody-two-shoes of the TTH, she's always been quite curious about what the world has to offer, and that spark is still there. There is something  surprisingly special about Jill, even though the majority would claim the exact opposite, that she's un-special whereas all her sisters have found their niches. What I see is that Jinger loves playing dress-up with Jeremy as faux-celebs in LA, Jessa has 3 kids under 4 and Ben is (probably) still working for JB, Jana is still unmarried and (most likely) sharing a room with four girls under the age of 14, and Joy is happy (minus recent events) living country life dreams with Austin. Jill is the only one to leave some of her comfort zones in order to satisfy her curiosities. She appears to be the only one who is interested in the world beyond fundamentalism and the walls of the TTH. While I wish she could've gone to real college, become a nurse, and then go for a legit CNM program, she is the only Duggar girl who completed some kind of higher education. She was excited to go to Nepal, see the land, try the food and later packed her stuff (and her kid) and went to SCA, learned some Spanish, and got in contact with natives. She then ditched the skirts-only thing and started wearing pants, now she's down to shorts and tank tops, got her nose pierced, she's talking about sex publicly, and still "only" has two kids. She's visiting Derick at college and attends lectures with him (which some people think is odd, but I think what worse could possibly happen than Jill broadening her horizons a bit?), she hangs out with people of different faiths (and she got a ton of backlash and comments accusing her of cultural appropriation that made me go WTF?) and she does field trips with her kids that don't seem like Duggar activities at all.  

I think her development is the most interesting of all and it will be fun to see where Jill is 10 years from now. I would be happy if she did something that she has always wanted to do. With Michael Bates soon starting nursing school, Jill might consider going for a degree in nursing as well? If she kept her beliefs to herself at work, I could definitely see her thrive in a medical environment. She might not be cut out to be an ER nurse, but she might fit well in a nursing home environment or as a nurse in a doctor's office. 

What's so special about Jill is that she keeps surprising us. Jinger is still the Jinger we know (a great help-meet to Jeremy), Jessa is snarky and witty as always and perfectly toeing the Duggar party line, Joy is still outdoorsy "tomboy" Joy, and CinderJana will forever slave away at the TTH, but with Jill...we never really know what's next.

I must confess, I see people talking about “Jill-hate” a whole lot more than I see actual Jill hate. Yes, this thread probably has more BEC than the others, but it also has plenty of posters calling out the BEC every single time. Jill’s no one’s pet fundie, but she really doesn’t seem to be hated here either, at least not in the past couple of months I’ve been around.

Anyway, I agree that Jill keeps surprising us and that’s what makes her interesting. Whether the Dillard’s foray into nose-piercings and dinosaur museums is a trajectory we can expect to see more of, I don’t know. It’s just as likely they’ll plateau here until the next kid arrives. I do agree with whoever said Derrick would “support” Jill going to college or working as long as his support is purely theoretical and “good job, babe!” but doesn’t cost him anything or require him to do more at home. But maybe that would be enough for Jill? After all those years as an older girl in a huge household, I feel like she could probably manage study/work alongside her current workload at home. I guess it depends if they add more arrows to the quiver, and if the boys go to school at any point.

Even if all this surface level stuff is all there is, the rumours of a rift would make sense just with what’s been posted on Instagram. It might seem minor to us and all the important hateful stuff remains, but the Dills have strayed from the Duggar beliefs in ways that I don’t think the ATI crowd would think of as insignificant.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

Derick is pretty short-sighted IMO.  Jill is well-liked and he could definitely monetize her *a lot* more if they actually had a strategy beyond occasional #sponsored posts on IG.  But that would require him to ‘babysit’ and maybe take on part of areyouinKindergarten Izzy’s schooling so she could go out and do her thing. So it’s not going to happen.

[nickelodeon]

Impressed, though with many MANY caveats.* JinJer would never.

*(A select few: we are aware of how limited Derick's definition of "womanhood" is; Jill might celebrate a useless reductive idea of the first wave "when feminism was about giving women rights and not taking away rights from men/the unborn/christians"; this is clearly a rhetorical move for attention; etc etc etc.)

[HarleyQuinn]

As a resident Jill Hater I'd say she does plenty on her own worthy of criticism without her husband. He's just a shitty bonus. She is an annoying try-hard with or without him and she can enjoy food from other countries as much as she wants, but I do not believe for one second she doesn't see herself (and white people as a whole) above any of the other religions/races she interacts with. She's a Trumpkin that went to a foreign country to convert brown Catholics ffs. 

If anything, I'd say more users here are willing to give her passes because Wreck is such a disaster and is likely manipulating her even more. Which is fine, but I don't think Jill Hate is unearned in any way, that includes BEC. 

And an aside - BEC is usually hilarious and always welcome in my book. 

 

[luv2laugh]

In my opinion, Jessa has always been the darling of true Counting On fans. She is the face of the family, conventionally attractive, perpetually pregnant, and keeps sweet for Jim Bob. She’s the Jill that we all thought Jill would be (but isn’t). 

Jill, despite having a shit husband, has expressed signs of individuality and none of the other Duggars have. 

IMO, if Jill, as co-dependent as she is, can break away from her enmeshed family as much as she has, then she will one day be able to break away from her husband, if she wants.

Edited July 30, 2019 by luv2laugh

[luv2laugh]

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

As a resident Jill Hater I'd say she does plenty on her own worthy of criticism without her husband. He's just a shitty bonus. She is an annoying try-hard with or without him and she can enjoy food from other countries as much as she wants, but I do not believe for one second she doesn't see herself (and white people as a whole) above any of the other religions/races she interacts with. She's a Trumpkin that went to a foreign country to convert brown Catholics ffs. 

If anything, I'd say more users here are willing to give her passes because Wreck is such a disaster and is likely manipulating her even more. Which is fine, but I don't think Jill Hate is unearned in any way, that includes BEC. 

And an aside - BEC is usually hilarious and always welcome in my book. 

 

I agree with you that Jill is an annoying try hard that wants to always be “the best” whether it’s the best daughter, the best mother (as in, mother who has the most babies), or the best wife. I remember back in 2015 on FreeJinger, you and I were not defending Jessa & Jill for going on Fox News and we were very annoyed with them. I tend to always agree with you. 

However, as annoying as Jill is, the Duggar family bothers me more. The fact that Jessa receives adoration and praise for posting cute baby pictures while endorsing the family cult of JB bothers me more. I have a tendency to get excited when a Duggar starts showing signs of independence but it’s because I despise Jim Bob even more.

I think over the past four years, Jill has been through serious shit that is causing her to become more independent.

Ultimately, I want to see Counting On get cancelled and I want Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar to go down for who they actually are, rather than the big Christian Kardashian family with cute babies and pretty daughters. 

Edited July 30, 2019 by luv2laugh

[HarleyQuinn]

I'm sure I've defended a Duggarling or two at the beginning, I know I felt really bad for Josiah right away. But apparently I've gotten more BEC with age. No more excuses. Dishonor. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, etc etc. 

[luv2laugh]

4 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I'm sure I've defended a Duggarling or two at the beginning, I know I felt really bad for Josiah right away. But apparently I've gotten more BEC with age. No more excuses. Dishonor. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, etc etc. 

You should visit the MisforMama thread. She makes me BEC more than anyone. She’s like a Jill Duggar 2.0 but with a combination of an Evangelical, competitive Stepford Wife on steroids. There is nothing like an annoying, obnoxious Christian try-hard.

Edited July 30, 2019 by luv2laugh

[SilverBeach]

8 hours ago, Pretzel said:

It's obviously an exaggeration, but she gets backlash for things her sisters would be applauded for

Nope, I don't applaud any of them for anything. When one of them (the women I'm talking about) says they are against Trump and his hate, then I'll applaud. 

[SassyPants]

So DD’s summer intern job is in LR , therefore the entire family had to relocate? Seems like routine, home and the kids are just extras in their lives. How about dad coming home on the weekends. Wonder if they’re paying to stay in the apartment? 

[twoandthrough]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

So DD’s summer intern job is in LR , therefore the entire family had to relocate? Seems like routine, home and the kids are just extras in their lives. How about dad coming home on the weekends. Wonder if they’re paying to stay in the apartment? 

To be fair, if our daughters and I were allowed to tag along to my husband's (military) work trips, we totally would. We don't get to see him as much as we'd like, so we'd absolutely go along. I don't work right now, and our kids are young (actually, about Izzy and Sam's ages), so it would work for us. I'm sure they feel the same way with the long hours I'm sure Derick is pulling with law school. But that's just my perspective... not as codependent as Jill seems to be but also would just want to spend as much time as a whole family as possible. 

[HarleyQuinn]

I wonder what hateful conservative christian office actually hired him as an intern? 

[nst]

21 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

As a resident Jill Hater I'd say she does plenty on her own worthy of criticism without her husband. He's just a shitty bonus. She is an annoying try-hard with or without him and she can enjoy food from other countries as much as she wants, but I do not believe for one second she doesn't see herself (and white people as a whole) above any of the other religions/races she interacts with. She's a Trumpkin that went to a foreign country to convert brown Catholics ffs. 

If anything, I'd say more users here are willing to give her passes because Wreck is such a disaster and is likely manipulating her even more. Which is fine, but I don't think Jill Hate is unearned in any way, that includes BEC. 

And an aside - BEC is usually hilarious and always welcome in my book. 

 

i literally laughed out loud when the other poster said Jill was more interesting than her sisters... she is the most annoying of all them. 

for all the reasons you mentioned and more. 

everything from the wedding, to her reactions to everything, the pregnancies, the labor and deliveries - her attitude with all her sisters. 

i think jinger has the life jill sort of wanted. 

20 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

In my opinion, Jessa has always been the darling of true Counting On fans. She is the face of the family, conventionally attractive, perpetually pregnant, and keeps sweet for Jim Bob. She’s the Jill that we all thought Jill would be (but isn’t). 

Jill, despite having a shit husband, has expressed signs of individuality and none of the other Duggars have. 

IMO, if Jill, as co-dependent as she is, can break away from her enmeshed family as much as she has, then she will one day be able to break away from her husband, if she wants.

jessa yes was the darling until a couple of things happened she actually had babies and didn't adopt like she said she would...all she does is post endless kid pictures, and she is not that fascinating anymore. 

and Ben stopped posting all together ....gone are the days of coffins and ravens. 

it was the courting time that was fascinating and the engagement. now it's hum drum. 

14 hours ago, SassyPants said:

So DD’s summer intern job is in LR , therefore the entire family had to relocate? Seems like routine, home and the kids are just extras in their lives. How about dad coming home on the weekends. Wonder if they’re paying to stay in the apartment? 

i bet they are ...unless it's some government expense then you all are paying for him and jill and the kids....

19 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I'm sure I've defended a Duggarling or two at the beginning, I know I felt really bad for Josiah right away. But apparently I've gotten more BEC with age. No more excuses. Dishonor. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, etc etc. 

josiah was manipulated because of who his parents are and how he will never fit in. lauren was his mule. 

[nolongerIFBx]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I wonder what hateful conservative christian office actually hired him as an intern? 

The University of Arkansas School of Law. . . ??

Edited July 31, 2019 by nolongerIFBx

[acheronbeach]

On 7/30/2019 at 3:34 AM, Pretzel said:

Oh, I undoubtedly agree with that. However, my point is that Jill is getting hate for comparably innocuous stuff just because people can't stand her husband. Sometimes it seems as though SHE just can't do ANYTHING right. She often can't win because of her husband's actions. And that is wrong IMHO.

Jessa serves roast that barely looks like one. "Oh, she's broadening her horizons! Good for her!!111". Jill serves Zucchini that barely looks like one. "OMG! I would never eat glob like that! How dare she even call that food? Does she think that looks good? She has no self-awareness!"

It's obviously an exaggeration, but she gets backlash for things her sisters would be applauded for instead because people directly associate her with Derick and that is what I have an issue with. I don't think anyone in the whole clan is any better than the other. Some are just better at PR and therefore get judged a lot less. 

I don't think people snark on her primarily because her husband is a halfwit.   I think that Jill is so consistently unsophisticated at social media that she provides a heck of a lot more to talk about, either good or bad.  For Jill, poorly considered instagram posts are the standard, not the exception, yet she keeps at it despite her total lack of awareness or talent at it.  That means that there's a heck of a lot more snarkworthy content to talk about (IMO).  Fairly basic things - like wiping the drippy mess off the edge of a plate for a recipe photo, or making sure her husband doesn't pose with his junk pressed into a table - don't cross her mind.  

When she hits the target people give her credit.  Posters here were pretty complimentary of her oatmeal cookies photography and several others from the new house that had better lighting.  Everyone on here defended her when people online were criticizing her joke mug "drinking coffee to keep the kids alive."  

Edited July 31, 2019 by acheronbeach
changed a word for more appropriate explanation

[frugalitymom]

I know a lot of women who travel with their husband with kids if possible and take advantage of spending time in another city doing things with the kids while the husband works. For Jill it probably is a codependent thing or maybe Derick not wanting her to spend the time he is gone with her family more than she has been. 

[LacyMay]

8 minutes ago, frugalitymom said:

I know a lot of women who travel with their husband with kids if possible and take advantage of spending time in another city doing things with the kids while the husband works. For Jill it probably is a codependent thing or maybe Derick not wanting her to spend the time he is gone with her family more than she has been. 

It could have been a co dependent thing. I don't see it as Derick trying to limit her time with her family, that's some serious red flaggy stuff. They are shitty people but him bringing her with him to keep her from spending time with her family when he isn't around? Eeek. 

I choose to be optimistic and think it was an innocent 

"Hey we have cheap/free accommodations for the Summer. This could be a fun vacation/experience for the boys and with Derick working steady hours he can spend some time at home/with the boys more than when he's in classes." 

Mr. May and I lived apart for a year and he did the 5 hour commute Friday after work and Sunday before supper. It sucked. 

Even if Derick only had a 3 hour commute to be home for weekends he is still really only getting 45 hours with the boys a week not counting the 16 or so that they are likely asleep. 

 

[justmy2cents]

One of the most important elements of their belief is family before anything else (excluding god). I’m not at all surprised  that she would accompany him everywhere she can. To be apart for even part if the week can weaken the family unit and invite the devil in. That’s my interpretation anyway.

[justoneoftwo]

I would move with my headship in similar situations. Kids are able to adapt to new places, but would have a harder time with no daddy all week.  Also my headship would not be willing to give up his kids time, unless the opportunity was insane to pass up

[HeadshipRegent]

Considering Jill is a stage five clinger who went to Derrick’s law classes, are we really shocked they all moved to LR for Wreck’s internship?

[SassyPants]

It’s only possible because Jill is able and willing to pack up her responsibilities and move with him. The bigger question, would he do the same for her?

[justmy2cents]

My point above was that they were raised this way. Any of the others (Jinger, Jessa, Joy, Kendra, Lauren, and Abbie) would do the same. They would all follow their headship so the family wouldn’t be apart. None of the others would be called a stage 5 clinger. Just so happens that none of the other headships have needed to move anywhere. 

[nst]

21 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

It’s only possible because Jill is able and willing to pack up her responsibilities and move with him. The bigger question, would he do the same for her?

where would he have to move back to...the TTH