Mrs Midwest

[Hane]

@JermajestyDuggar, there are times when I wonder whether I’ve been a loser for not starving and exercising (more) and getting bariatric surgery to thinnify myself and attract male attention. Then I realize that there’s damn little a guy can do for me that I can’t do for myself. If I need companionship, I have friends who don’t give a flying fuck what I look like. If I need work done around the house, I can pay a guy who doesn’t expect to get blown in return. (Yes, Late-Ex-Mr.-Hane-#2, that means you.) 

Yes, dates and getting dressed up can be fun, but more often they have all the charm of an interview for a job I’m not sure I want. One of my divorced fellow 60-somethings had been in a happy-looking relationship for the past couple of years, then broke it off when she saw herself morphing into a taken-for-granted hausfrau who was doing the laundry and providing the snacks while Himself vedged in front of the TV watching sportsball.

[kaluce]

I just can't understand how long these guys expect to be happy with a partner with whom they have nothing in common with. They want a thin waif of a woman who strictly has all her interests in the "feminine" realm (aka, cooking and cleaning and doing nothing but what he doesn't want to do around the house), while he stays strictly in the masculine realm. Will they have ANYTHING in common with each other? What on earth will they talk about? What if one becomes infirm and sexual intimacy is no longer an option? 

I've showed my husband accounts like this (the men and the "perfect" housewife accounts) to get his ~male perspective and he doesn't get it either. He just assumes they're virgins or rapists. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

@JermajestyDuggar, there are times when I wonder whether I’ve been a loser for not starving and exercising (more) and getting bariatric surgery to thinnify myself and attract male attention. Then I realize that there’s damn little a guy can do for me that I can’t do for myself. If I need companionship, I have friends who don’t give a flying fuck what I look like. If I need work done around the house, I can pay a guy who doesn’t expect to get blown in return. (Yes, Late-Ex-Mr.-Hane-#2, that means you.) 

Yes, dates and getting dressed up can be fun, but more often they have all the charm of an interview for a job I’m not sure I want. One of my divorced fellow 60-somethings had been in a happy-looking relationship for the past couple of years, then broke it off when she saw herself morphing into a taken-for-granted hausfrau who was doing the laundry and providing the snacks while Himself vedged in front of the TV watching sportsball.

If you like getting dressed up, make a date with one of your friends. Go to a nice restaurant or a the theater. If I wasn’t married I would have zero interest in dating or attracting male attention. I prefer to be left in peace. 

[klein_roeschen]

On 11/16/2019 at 1:37 AM, ViolaSebastian said:

Ever wonder how YOU can walk in a more feminine way? No? Well, me neither. But here's the answer to the question that no one is asking:

1. Cynthia has recorded this video in her bare, sad-ass dining room. Seriously, the minimalism and starkness of going with a black and white color scheme makes it seem severe and depressing. I am not a fan.

2. Cynthia is qualified to tell you how to walk because she used to be a model and in pageants. She makes it clear that she's not telling you this to brag. Ok?

3. Second to posture, walking is one of the most important ways to show people your femininity. I have personally never, ever looked at a person and gone "damn, that's some feminine walking," but YMMV. You gotta walk with grace and elegance. 

4. Cynthia says, hilariously, that she's had over ten years experience with walking. I've got her beat on that front, as do most 12-year-olds. She encourages us to find a pair of heels. She says to go for a mid-range heel, while holding a high heel that looks pretty fucking high to me, higher than what I would describe as "mid-range." She says not to go super high with your heel since we are all classy women here. Anyway, you need to pay attention to the insole and put inserts in your shoes. 

5. Second tip is make sure your hips are flexible. Well, fuck. I guess I'll never be a woman who walks femininely. Your girl ViolaSebastian cannot hula hoop to save her life. Do some stretches that work your hip flexor muscles. Apparently, this will cause a natural "side to side" movement. She shows us how to lift our hips and have a "ready stance." 

6. You gotta active your core muscles, too. People feel uneasy in their heels because they're not activating their core muscles. I thought it was because of the screaming pain in my lower back, but I guess not. 

7. So, anyway, to walk like Miss Universe, the trick is act like you're lazy. Shake everything out. Apparently this is a very difficult concept to grasp. Make sure your arms move freely. 

8. Now we're talking about turning, because it seems a lot of people forget about turning. Avoid showing your "private area" as you're turning. This is always a good tip, I feel like, no matter how you're walking. Do a small circle, much like a dog. Only put one hand on your hip at a time. Don't bounce; an elegant woman "flows" through her walk. 

9. She talks about smiling. Smile a lot and it should be a genuine smile. Apparently to be genuine, when you're practicing smiling, let out a small, creepy-ass laugh. Some people don't smile naturally because they haven't been taught how. (Uh...). I circumvent this problem by only smiling when I feel like smiling. It really seems to do the trick.

So, that's that. I think I'm maybe a little dumber for having watched this video. I certainly can't put it into practice in real life. Also, how many of us are spending our day in high heels? I just walk like a damn normal person in my flats.

I'm an less than an inch short of 6 feet tall and overweight. I'm not only rediculus looking in heels, I also walk with the grace of an buffalo in them. My only pair of heels are 2 inch high wedges and I only wear them to special occasions, where I sit most of the time. I won't get started on learning to walk in heels and endure the pain just to fit someone's other idea of feminine look a woman has to have. And even in jeans and sneakers, I'm unmistakenly a woman, thanks to my curves. So these fake dolls can take their advice on how to be feminine and how to walk feminine and stuff it where the sun never shines.

 

1 hour ago, Hane said:

@ViolaSebastian, excuse me while I go hurl up my breakfast. I gotta love the “fit” as code for “No fatties!!!11!1!” These a-holes couldn’t care less about a woman’s stamina or physical health (unless, of course, she’s “too sick to be fun”)—it’s all about being skinny and pretty enough so her physical appearance impresses their douchebag friends.

Oh, and that valuable master’s degree? They don’t want no broke chick. I bet there are tons of red-pillers who want a woman who “pulls her weight” financially, and who think that a SAHW/M is a deadbeat.

ETA my skinny blonde daughter is thin because of an anxiety disorder, and has to beat off unwanted male attention with a stick. All those jamokes who drool, “I bet you work out all the time!” at her are giving her code that really means “I bet you’re perfectly happy to starve and strain your body so my bros and I think you’re fuckworthy.”

Years of online dating teached me that even the douchebags don't overlook you. I had more than one guy telling me outright that he goes after the less attractive (in his eyes) women, because she has lower standarts to get a man and are more "open" to his wishes due to lack of conventional attractiveness and that I should count myself lucky to have their attention and should reward him for it. Or that they love big women in bed, but never would openly date one, because of what their buddies would think. One of the reasons I gave up on online dating and became happy with my spinsterhood.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, klein_roeschen said:

I'm an less than an inch short of 6 feet tall and overweight. I'm not only rediculus looking in heels, I also walk with the grace of an buffalo in them. My only pair of heels are 2 inch high wedges and I only wear them to special occasions, where I sit most of the time. I won't get started on learning to walk in heels and endure the pain just to fit someone's other idea of feminine look a woman has to have. And even in jeans and sneakers, I'm unmistakenly a woman, thanks to my curves. So these fake dolls can take their advice on how to be feminine and how to walk feminine and stuff it where the sun never shines.

 

Years of online dating teached me that even the douchebags don't overlook you. I had more than one guy telling me outright that he goes after the less attractive (in his eyes) women, because she has lower standarts to get a man and are more "open" to his wishes due to lack of conventional attractiveness and that I should count myself lucky to have their attention and should reward him for it. Or that they love big women in bed, but never would openly date one, because of what their buddies would think. One of the reasons I gave up on online dating and became happy with my spinsterhood.

I’m similar in size to you and I avoid heels. I did online dating way back in the day when people thought it was really strange and it’s where I met my husband. I never had a guy say the things like that to me! I would be livid! What entitled pricks! Maybe things were different with online dating 13/14 years ago. Usually if a guy wasn’t interested he just ghosted you. A guy that acted interested did ghost me and that was so cowardly. I never ghosted people online I was once interested in. I just told them flat out that I thought we were too different or I didn’t think it would work out.

[ViolaSebastian]

Here's the thing for me. That works both ways. I don't care about the men I date being CEOs, or having a certain degrees, or working in corporate America. My serious boyfriends since my divorce have been an MBA who was unemployed, an IT guy who works in a warehouse, and an artist who worked in a library. One had a BFA, the second guy of course had an MBA, and one didn't have a degree. I honestly don't care about your job or your degree, as long as you aren't doing something evil or hurtful for a living and you're managing to support yourself. I've never dated a corporate dude because they tend to be not-my-type, but if people want that it's fine. 

I guess my rambling point is that I look for kindness, generosity, ability to take care of yourself without a mommy-girlfriend, stability, and intelligence. When you support yourself, I think you tend to look more at qualities other than "can this guy support me as a homemaker?"

[ViolaSebastian]

[Katzchen24]

2 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Is it only me who doesn't understand what he is actually asking? It's guaranteed to be full of WTF whatever it is, but I don't get what he wants to know.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I guarantee he’s talking about the woman Matt Lauer raped. 

[Hane]

19 hours ago, kaluce said:

I just can't understand how long these guys expect to be happy with a partner with whom they have nothing in common with. They want a thin waif of a woman who strictly has all her interests in the "feminine" realm (aka, cooking and cleaning and doing nothing but what he doesn't want to do around the house), while he stays strictly in the masculine realm. Will they have ANYTHING in common with each other? What on earth will they talk about? What if one becomes infirm and sexual intimacy is no longer an option? 

I've showed my husband accounts like this (the men and the "perfect" housewife accounts) to get his ~male perspective and he doesn't get it either. He just assumes they're virgins or rapists. 

I’m reminded of the nauseating quotation, “If women didn’t have a pussy, there’d be a bounty out on ‘em.” I saw this in a book of “humor,” and may have flung it directly into the garbage.

[ViolaSebastian]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I guarantee he’s talking about the woman Matt Lauer raped. 

I had absolutely no idea what he meant, but this makes sense. I think he has a lot of these Tweets that addresses something specific, but he leaves out the background information because he doesn’t feel that’ll serve his point. Which is true in this case as well, and ignores the significant pressure the survivor was under from multiple avenues to keep her story quiet. He also ignores the societal expectation (that he himself encourages) for women to stay quiet and not complain or make an issue known. 

[ViolaSebastian]

[nelliebelle1197]

So does she wear a MAGA hat?
Tell me about it here: