Grandma Mary Died

[punkiepie]

My heart breaks for Amy.  I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter, my first child, when my grandma died, so I know how painful it can be to lose someone right before the birth of your child.  My other grandma had just died shortly before I found out I was pregnant, and the loss of those two women broke my heart.  I hate that my daughter only knows my grandmothers through my stories and photos.  I know the loss of Grandma Mary is felt by all her grandchildren, but for Amy, it seems so much worse. 

[WhiteRun]

My sympathys go out to the Duggars and their family. 

Mary obviously played a large and loving part of their lives.

 

[tumblr]

I’m not going to judge any of the Duggar’s on instagram captions today. Grief is fucking hard and can turn even the most eloquent among us into mutes. 

[BlondeIdol]

I honestly have nothing negative to say. Losing Grandparents sucks. Condolences to all of the Duggar family and friends. 

I lost my grandfather last November. It was also sudden and very hard. I feel for all the grandkids but especially Amy. She had just posted about their relationship. 

[Glasgowghirl]

I feel for Amy, my sister was two weeks away from having her oldest child when my uncle, her godfather died of a heart attack. Her pregnancy was just a year after losing twins and her waters had broke 10 weeks early and the doctor's were shocked that she didn't go into labour, she needed regular checkups. Her emotions were all over the place seeing him just after he had passed. 

I do think the Duggar's had more of a relationship with her than just using her for laundry and I'm sure the kid's cared about her greatly but Amy and her grandmother seemed to have a laugh and a joke and the fact that most of the younger Duggar's probably never had a chance to have one on one time with her.

[frugalitymom]

Amy’s tribute was beautiful and spoke of the amazing relationship they had. I know I was never the same after losing my grandma who helped raise me. 

[VelociRapture]

I’ve been very lucky to have 31 years with my mother’s parents. My own grandpa lost all his grandparents before he turned 2, so it constantly tickles him pink that he’s lived to meet three great-grandchildren and to know he has a fourth on the way. I hope he and Grandma make it long enough to meet my second child this fall - they’re both in good health, but they’re getting older and there are no guarantees. I know I’m going to be devastated when we eventually lose them. 

My heart really goes out to all the Duggars, but especially to Amy and to Mary’s two children (yes, even JimBob - he’s a crappy person, but he’s likely genuinely hurting a good deal over losing his mom.) Losing someone you love dearly is never easy, regardless of the circumstances. I hope all of them find comfort and peace in their happy memories of Mary with time.  

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

17 minutes ago, frugalitymom said:

Amy’s tribute was beautiful and spoke of the amazing relationship they had. I know I was never the same after losing my grandma who helped raise me. 

Not a day goes by that I don't think of my grandmother Gi. She helped raise me and was everything to me. I love my parents and  my other two grandparents (the third died before I was born, so I never met him), but grandma Gi was something else. 

My condolences to all, particularly to Amy whose message made me cry. 

[SassyPants]

The difference between Amy’s relationship and the Duggar offsprings’  Relationships further highlights one downfall of the mega family that lives in isolation. There was limited time for GM Mary to forge relationships with each and every JB Duggar spawn. I seriously doubt that Jana had the time with GMM that Amy enjoyed. She was too busy being a sister mom. Speaking as a GM who only has one grandchild, I can not imagine having the kind of relationship that I enjoy with my one GC, with 20. Where would you find the time or energy? Christmas is great, 1 day a year. It would be horrible 1 day a month, week or every day. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Never having had close loving grandparents (they weren't the huggy type and lives between 400 and 1100 miles away), I can't understand this bond and loss, but I see how it effects so many people. 

As much as my mother makes me insane, and my father to a lesser extent (yes, I'm a total daddy's girl), they have been amazing grandparents to my kids. They were in their early 50's when my kids were born so they did a lot with them, and they were the first two and only grand kids for 13 years. I'm glad they have loving grandparents, my mother is a much better grandmother than she ever was a mother, and my dad just loves everyone because he's a mushy gushy lovey huggy man.  They don't get to do as much with my siblings kids who are 7, 7 & 8, as they are now 73, they just don't have the energy, to keep up with them.  

[OldFadedStar]

1 hour ago, tumblr said:

I’m not going to judge any of the Duggar’s on instagram captions today. Grief is fucking hard and can turn even the most eloquent among us into mutes. 

 

Yep. I'm typically a relatively sappy social media poster but when my grandpa passed in November all I did was share his obituary and then a picture of pancakes with peanut butter on the morning of his funeral. I captioned that picture with "Today is my grandpas funeral. He taught me to eat peanut butter on my pancakes so it seems only fitting to have that for breakfast this morning" I wanted to write more but even to this day I still can't find the words to say. 

[mango_fandango]

Only my mother’s parents are still alive. My dad’s mother died not long before I turned 8, and then my dad’s father died not long before I turned 18. I remember Dad telling me about his mum, he got quite emotional; he’s not normally an emotional sort of person so it was odd for me to witness (in that I just wasn’t used to it). I wasn’t as close to my dad’s parents as I am to my mum’s. My grandma did not like visiting the doctor, I have no idea why (between having my aunt in 1970 and her death in 2003, she didn’t go once). In contrast, my grandfather was fine with going; he contracted TB as a child and spent a long time in hospital and recuperating afterwards, so he was well used to medical environments. 

 

[Cat Damon]

26 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Speaking as a GM who only has one grandchild, I can not imagine having the kind of relationship that I enjoy with my one GC, with 20. Where would you find the time or energy? Christmas is great, 1 day a year. It would be horrible 1 day a month, week or every day. 

I know that it's possible to have a good relationship with that many kids, although it takes a fair amount of dedication. I come from a large family - I only have one sister but on my dad's side there are 19 grandchildren, with our ages spanning from 32 to 17. My grandma has a really nice relationship with each of us. I know I've had more time with her (being the second oldest) than some of my younger cousins, but she always made time for all of us and would have sleepover with each "age group" a couple times a year. 

I will add that she didn't have to work as my grandpa was an ophthalmologist. She did have more time than someone who wasn't as financially secure, which makes a huge difference. I do think that all of us being so close in age as well as all growing up in the same city helped, too. Maybe Grandma Mary made time for each kid or age group that we just didn't get to see and they all got some special time with her. I hope so - it isn't like they got much attention from their parents.

[Caskett4ever]

I'm sorry for their loss. I lost my Nana a little over a month ago and it caught us off guard (while she did have cancer, she seemed to be getting a little bit better and a doctor she saw a couple days before her death said that everything seemed fine; though we never had an autopsy done, it's believed she had a heart attack). It was hard; it still is hard. I'm sure it must be particularly hard for the grandkids who are expecting and were probably hoping to be able to introduce their kid to her.

With the loss of Mary, do the Duggar kids have any grandparents left? I know that Jim Bob's dad passed away a while ago. Are both of Michelle's parents gone as well? If so, that must be extra hard. Since my Nana passed, I am technically down to two grandparents, but since my dad's dad is a dick who typically chooses to forget that we exist, I only have one left that I actually care about (my mom's mom). 

My heart goes out to all of you struggling with the loss of grandparents and other important people.

[VelociRapture]

3 minutes ago, Caskett4ever said:

I'm sorry for their loss. I lost my Nana a little over a month ago and it caught us off guard (while she did have cancer, she seemed to be getting a little bit better and a doctor she saw a couple days before her death said that everything seemed fine; though we never had an autopsy done, it's believed she had a heart attack). It was hard; it still is hard. I'm sure it must be particularly hard for the grandkids who are expecting and were probably hoping to be able to introduce their kid to her.

With the loss of Mary, do the Duggar kids have any grandparents left? I know that Jim Bob's dad passed away a while ago. Are both of Michelle's parents gone as well? If so, that must be extra hard. Since my Nana passed, I am technically down to two grandparents, but since my dad's dad is a dick who typically chooses to forget that we exist, I only have one left that I actually care about (my mom's mom). 

My heart goes out to all of you struggling with the loss of grandparents and other important people.

Yes, Mary was their last living grandparent. It must be especially difficult to lose her considering how big a presence she likely had in their lives. 

 

31 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

 

Yep. I'm typically a relatively sappy social media poster but when my grandpa passed in November all I did was share his obituary and then a picture of pancakes with peanut butter on the morning of his funeral. I captioned that picture with "Today is my grandpas funeral. He taught me to eat peanut butter on my pancakes so it seems only fitting to have that for breakfast this morning" I wanted to write more but even to this day I still can't find the words to say. 

I think that sounds like an incredibly sweet and appropriate tribute to someone so important to you. Don’t feel badly about not having the right words - you and your grandpa both knew how much you meant to each other and that’s what’s really important. 

This whole discussion is causing me to think how I’d post about losing a grandparent online. I’ve gotten much more private on social media recently, but I think I’d make an exception if my grandparents, parents, or someone else very close to me died. 

[tabitha2]

Michelle’s dad lived with them for awhile I know. I suppose he left to live in Ohio when his Alzheimers got worse.   Her mother Ethel died in 1991 so the children aside from possibly Josh never knew her.

Edited June 10, 2019 by tabitha2

[NakedKnees]

I'm surprised how much this is affecting me. How sad for the Duggars- this must be one of the hardest parts about putting your life on display for all to see. I hope Grandma Mary passed peacefully and that her family has room in to grieve however they need to.

Poor Amy. I hope this isn't dark speculation, but I hope she isn't dealing with guilt about not having children earlier in her life (just because she has probably been around that message a lot). I'm genuinely happy for her having a career, taking time to find a life partner, and really exalting what she loves about her friends and family without making it all about Jesus... all while being a Christian at the same time!

She's not perfect but I just really feel for her right now. One of my grandpas died before I was born and the other when I was a baby, but both of my grandmas are alive. One is 95 with severe dementia and the other is 92 and kicking. They've both loved meeting their great grandchildren from my generation of cousins, and I'm one of the few without kids in my late twenties. Repetitive, but: I really feel for Amy.

[curlykate]

I’m 36 and am super lucky to have three surviving grandparents. I’ve only lost one grandpa, and he passed away only three years ago. Now my grandma, his widow, is in failing health. We are having a party for her on the 22nd as she’s turning 90, and honestly I’m just hoping he makes it until then. I’ll be devastated when she passes. She’s the grandparent that I’m closest to.

I can’t snark in the Duggars for their social media posts about grandma Mary’s passing. When my grandpa passed I didn’t even post....I couldn’t find the words. I just hope they all get a chance to work through their emotions in a way that works for them, not a “fundy approved” way. My heart breaks for Amy. 

[albireo]

First, my sincerest condolences to the whole family. I have no desire to snark on grief.

Also...I know people are predicting M6 will be called Mary after Grandma Mary's passing, but given the uniquely close relationship between Amy and Grandma Mary, I think Baby King will also have a tribute to her. I see him having Lester (Mary's maiden name) somewhere in his name, more likely as a middle name.

[eveandadam]

Condolences to the whole family!  ❤️ ? My heart goes out to them, it is so hard to lose a grandparent! I'm wondering if this is a sudden death? And I'm actually sad that she didn't get to see the 4 new babies this year

I think the name Mary could also be chosen by several pregnant Duggars now. Maybe Amy and Anna if they are having girls who would then be second cousins. I'm actually in shock that the only other Duggar with the name Mary is Jana, as her second name. I would have expected it to occur more often, as a second name in the J's and for one of Anna's girls especially. Or is it too catholic sounding for them?

 

Edited June 10, 2019 by eveandadam

[Glasgowghirl]

17 minutes ago, eveandadam said:

Condolences to the whole family!  ❤️ ? My heart goes out to them, it is so hard to lose a grandparent! I'm wondering if this is a sudden death? And I'm actually sad that she didn't get to see the 4 new babies this year

I think the name Mary could also be chosen by several pregnant Duggars now. Maybe Amy and Anna if they are having girls who would then be second cousins. I'm actually in shock that the only other Duggar with the name Mary is Jana, as her second name. I would have expected it to occur more often, as a second name in the J's and for one of Anna's girls especially. Or is it too catholic sounding for them?

 

Amy is having a boy, Josh and Anna found out what they are having but hadn't gotten round to announcing it before Mary died.

[jillsdopplerofdoom]

3 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Amy is having a boy, Josh and Anna found out what they are having but hadn't gotten round to announcing it before Mary died.

I am going to guess that Mary/the familyknew but they just haven't made it public. They probably would've announce this week but I think it will probably be next now.

Edited June 10, 2019 by jillsdopplerofdoom

[Melinda]

I don't understand. In Facebook they wrote: "She is survived by her daughter Deanna and her son Jim Bob, 21 grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren, with several more great-grandchildren on the way!" JimBob has 19 children, Deanna has 1 child. That is 20 grandchildren. Who is the number 21?! 

[Cheetah]

They are probably counting Tyler.

[bella8050]

Amy's post did make me tear up. I lost the two grandparents I was close to pretty young (10 and then 15 yrs old). The other two lived into their 90s and both passed in the last 5 years. Grief can be so unpredictable, I honestly didn't think I would be that affected by losing the ones that I had a complicated relationship with, but I still was. Part feeling bad for my parents each losing their second parent, and part mourning what I wished our relationship was.

Two of my cousins ended up giving their sons my grandfathers name, one as a first and the other as a middle name. It was always my plan to use his name as well, especially since I lived with him for 7 years when the others only saw him a handful of times a year. I still plan on using it if I have a boy and will not care if people see it as repetitive. It would be hard going to my grandmothers house and seeing all the family pictures with new great grandchildren coming along thinking about him not getting to meet any of them.