Grandma Mary Died

[SassyPants]

I think Amy is probably better equipped to deal with such a big loss vs her cousins. I’m sure Amy has a bigger tool box of life experiences, connections and coping mechanisms. Her cousins are rather stunted in these areas. When your world is so limited, your relationships basically contained within your own family, and your own family experiences such a tragedy, it has to be harder to rise above it.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

36 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I think Amy is probably better equipped to deal with such a big loss vs her cousins. I’m sure Amy has a bigger tool box of life experiences, connections and coping mechanisms. Her cousins are rather stunted in these areas. When your world is so limited, your relationships basically contained within your own family, and your own family experiences such a tragedy, it has to be harder to rise above it.

Not necessarily, while Amy has had a more open life, grief hits people in very different ways. As for JB's kids, they may have an advantage as their sole purpose in life is to die and go to heaven to be with God/Jesus and will find great solace in that.  Amy's faith may not be as consuming, she may have more feelings of loss than the seemingly more detached Cousins. From about Joe/Josiah/Joy on down to Jordyn who are just a # to JB & M, and didn't get any real one on one attention from anyone, there were just to many bodies around  to focus on one person, and always a another baby to coo over, who was new and fun, while you were old news. 

Edited June 12, 2019 by allthegoodnamesrgone

[tabitha2]

I didn’t realize that Cousin Amy Duggar was such a Woman of the world to be so able And I don’t know that one gets equipped to deal with the loss of Such a beloved and close person that you see nearly everyday of your life.

 

They don’t need to “Rise above”anything. They can weep buckets or  wear sack cloth and ashes or read the Bible for solace if it helps them. Everyone grieves differently and different lengths but it  easier over time. Unless you are a morbid Victorian no one mourns forever . It’s a process that takes time and the important thing is you let yourself grieve your own way. I would add the Duggar children saw the deaths of Two Grandfathers  and probably more that have kept private so they have been through this.

They have each other and their faith so they will cope the best they can like millions of their families. 

[SassyPants]

I’ll stand by my assertion that having a greater # of acceptable tools for dealing with and accepting grief makes navigating tragedies easier. Rising above= moving through a difficulty rather than stuffing it down and not dealing with it.

[tabitha2]

Yes. They  will find comfort  in their believe  that Grandma Mary was a Good Christian Woman who  is out of Earthly pain being young and  happy forever with Jesus and they will see her again in time and she is watching over them. 

[VelociRapture]

Mourning is a process and it can take an unspecified amount of time. Some people are able to cope with loss rather well, while others can really struggle a lot. The type of loss can also impact how difficult that is - if you lose someone close to you very suddenly it can be extremely difficult to move past. For instance, it’s been 26 years since we lost my Aunt to suicide and I honestly doubt my mom, her parents, and her brothers will ever stop mourning for her completely. They’ve mostly moved forward with their lives and they’re all usually very happy people, but certain events can be extremely triggering for each of them. My grandma, for example, is normally a rather emotionally pulled together person, but she very nearly broke into tears while talking about how my grandpa was her rock after their daughter’s death during their 60th anniversary party last year. I’m tearing up a bit just remembering how emotional she got. 

The way I look at it, if you’re usually able to function and you’re mostly happy and healthy then you’re probably doing ok. If you’re struggling and think you need help handling your grief then it could be a good idea to seek professional help as they can help you develop tools to soothe yourself. Regardless, grief is unique to everyone and how long or short you end up mourning is nothing to be ashamed of. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

My ex-friend was very attached to her maternal grandparents, she was very sad when her grandfather died, in the early 90's, but was absolutely distraught when her grandmother died in the early 2000's. She told us that when she got to the house where grandma was they had to pull her off her body so the corner could get to her. Then our mutual friend and I had to pull her physically off her coffin and keep her from trying to crawl in with her.  She was insane and her husband just stood their like "what do I do?" Her sister and dad were tending to wife/mom who was hysterical by friends grief, so we took it upon ourselves  to deal with her. It has been around 15 years and she still can't bring herself to enjoy Christmas, which was her grandmothers favorite holiday, and she died December 23rd. 

Some people wrap themselves in their grief and never come out of it, sadly. 

[Jana814]

A friend of mine is very close to her grandmother (she’s an only grandchild). I hate to think what will happen when she passes away. 

[tabitha2]

All 3 grandparents that I knew had more or less harsh unloved very difficult lives on earth or made everyone around them fearful and miserable. I can’t say cried for any of them when they died. They weren’t suffering anymore or making others suffer at least.

[Kjaerringa]

I just came across an article from Radar stating there was a 911 call to Mary's home, at about the time we have been given, requesting assistance for a possible downing of an unconscious older woman. The police are investigating, which in and of itself is no surprise... my father died after complications due to a broken hip, and the state of WI is required to investigate, including  autopsy, any deaths resulting from a fall.

 

Apparently her home has a pool in the back yard.  That is pretty awful, both for her and for whomever discovered her.

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

30 minutes ago, Kjaerringa said:

Apparently her home has a pool in the back yard.  That is pretty awful, both for her and for whomever discovered her.

I just hope it was a medical event and not a trip into the pool.

I believe she was living at the "Big House" across the street from the TTH.  The one Jill and Derick lived in and were filmed on their return from CA.  Jill even mentioned living with Mary during that time in her tribute.

And everyone thought Jill and Derick were given that house (formerly Vanessa's place of business).  Now we know, it was Mary's.

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, Kjaerringa said:

I just came across an article from Radar stating there was a 911 call to Mary's home, at about the time we have been given, requesting assistance for a possible downing of an unconscious older woman. The police are investigating, which in and of itself is no surprise... my father died after complications due to a broken hip, and the state of WI is required to investigate, including  autopsy, any deaths resulting from a fall.

 

Apparently her home has a pool in the back yard.  That is pretty awful, both for her and for whomever discovered her.

Hope Pickles wasn't the source.

[JanasTattooParlor]

1 hour ago, Kjaerringa said:

I just came across an article from Radar stating there was a 911 call to Mary's home, at about the time we have been given, requesting assistance for a possible downing of an unconscious older woman. The police are investigating, which in and of itself is no surprise... my father died after complications due to a broken hip, and the state of WI is required to investigate, including  autopsy, any deaths resulting from a fall.

 

Apparently her home has a pool in the back yard.  That is pretty awful, both for her and for whomever discovered her.

This really hits close to home for me if that’s how she passed away. My grandad passed away a week after I graduated high school while he was swimming in the pool behind him and my grandmother’s house. He was in great health, was retired Navy, and taught swim lessons for thirty years so it came as a complete shock to all of us. We never had an autopsy done to figure out what caused him to drown, but I can’t even believe how whoever found her feels.....my grandmother refuses to go near her pool ever since that day unless someone is with her. 

[JenniferJuniper]

I'll just post this without comment.  It's from what appears to be a Zimbabwe news translation:

Quote

Duggar Family News: The drowning of rumors has not only been reported in the lives of cucumbers and hairspray.

 

[FrozenSmile]

21 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Hope Pickles wasn't the source.

The radar article said she was & even linked to her fb page ? I’m sure her head is so big it’s floating over NW Arkansas.

[frugalitymom]

5 minutes ago, FrozenSmile said:

The radar article said she was & even linked to her fb page ? I’m sure her head is so big it’s floating over NW Arkansas.

I’m sure they would have preferred that this was kept on the down low out of respect for her and the family.

The vegetable who shall remain nameless said that was the day that two of the boys were coming back from Alert and they were planning a welcome home party. 

Edited June 12, 2019 by frugalitymom

[tabitha2]

Pickles is a sour old vegetable that needs to be canned and  put in a jar on the back of shelf To be forgotten. She may or may not be warty and green .

[sophrosyne]

1 hour ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

I just hope it was a medical event and not a trip into the pool.

I believe she was living at the "Big House" across the street from the TTH.  The one Jill and Derick lived in and were filmed on their return from CA.  Jill even mentioned living with Mary during that time in her tribute.

And everyone thought Jill and Derick were given that house (formerly Vanessa's place of business).  Now we know, it was Mary's.

In 2015 I did some research. In mid-July of 2015, The Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar Trust bought the house with the pool. Derick and Jill lived in it before they went to South America (Jim Bob and Michelle had earlier sold a house in Rogers, I think, that Derick and Jill lived in after they married).  The house with the pool is not across the street from the Duggars main gate but is to the west of their property, off a road that's west of the Duggar's 'Big House' property. There is at least one other property, not owned by the Duggars, between the house with the pool and the Duggar's 'Big House' property.  

I just revisted my earlier research and see today that the house with the pool is now owned by the Mary L Duggar Revocable Trust. So at some point between 2015 and today, ownership of the house was transferred from JB and Michelle's trust to Grandma Duggar's trust.

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

6 minutes ago, sophrosyne said:

The house with the pool is not across the street from the Duggars main gate but is to the west of their property, off a road that's west of the Duggar's 'Big House' property. There is at least one other property, not owned by the Duggars, between the house with the pool and the Duggar's 'Big House' property.  

 

Agreed!

When I said "across the street" there is a street that separates the two properties (Dowell).  It's a strange set up in that like you said there is a house nearer to the street, but then a drive that leads back to the pool house.

[rebeccawriter01]

It's a sad situation. I feel for Amy. As an only child with lots of cousins in big families, I had a very special relationship with my grandmother. She preferred spending time one on one with me than having to watch five or six of my cousins at one time. Even years after her death, my cousins and I will compare notes on our memories of her. She was seen by them as a strict disciplinarian. To me she was fun and someone to talk to and enjoy.

While Amy is certainly more capable of coping than her stunted cousins, it's not that far of a leap. She isn't exactly the most emotionally mature person I have ever seen.

Grandma Duggar seemed like a nice woman when she was shown on television. I do wonder about her thoughts on Jim Bob though. She was a strong woman to step in and take over some of the chores that would have been left to those older girls. I don't know that I could have done that and kept my mouth shut.  

[nst]

https://people.com/tv/counting-on-grandma-mary-duggar-cause-of-death-accidental-drowning/

people magazine is saying she drowned when she tripped and fell in the pool 

[tabitha2]

A long time ago Grandpa Duggar said neither he or Michelle’s father approved of what JB and M were doing. I guess Mary felt the same way but she had to deal with it.

[luv2laugh]

Shame on People. Family did not disclose this. People contacted the police.

[TheDuggarnaut]

When I read of her death, I thought heart attack or stroke, that they found her peaceful in her chair. Knowing someone found her in the pool is upsetting. I hope they allow the person or persons to get grief counseling. I know a bunch of them have first responder training, but this was Grandma. 

[luv2laugh]

This was a tragic death and as horrible as the Duggars are, a lot of people, many pregnant, are grieving right now. 

I can’t believe People would go this low and sensationalize a personal tragedy for money.

I cannot stand the Duggars but death is the worst and I have empathy for those grieving.

Edited June 13, 2019 by luv2laugh