Jump to content
IGNORED

Grandma Mary Died


princessmahina

Recommended Posts

4 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

Please understand that I am asking this with 0 sarcasm/snark. So is the consensus that she knocked herself unconscious during the fall first, and then drowned?   You hear this sort of accident happen with little kids all the time. I'm just struggling to understand how an adult could fall into a pool and not kick to the surface.  Unless she had never learned to swim.

The likelihood is that she had a medical emergency and fell in the pool. The other possibility is that she slipped and knocked herself out. I would lean towards medical issues. 

  • Upvote 10
  • I Agree 1
  • Thank You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Several years ago my great aunt died in a swimming pool. Depending on which relative you talk to, the story changes, but the facts everyone agrees on are this: she got in her car, which was parked in her carport, turned on the car, accelerated the car, the car went through the brick wall of the carport, the car and her landed in the pool, and my great aunt drowned- in her car, in the pool. Her daughter lived next door and heard the crash, ran over and tried to save her mom, but it was too late- she died. She was in her 80’s, a widow, and could swim very well. Depending on which family member you talk to will get you a different story. To some, she accelerated on purpose. To others, she was trying to back up, but hit the wrong pedal. Either way, I have been haunted by the image of her last moments- struggling to get out of her car, water pouring in, and in all of her clothes, 80 years old- she must have known she was going to die. It makes me sick to my stomach. And when I think about Grandma Duggar- it reminds me so much of my great aunt. No one wants to think of their loved one being terrified, alone, and struggling to live even as they die. It’s basically the worst thing one could imagine. My cousin, her daughter who tried to save her, has never been the same.  She is fundamentally altered. Even now, years later, she is haunted by the notion that if she had run faster, if she had called 911 first, if, if if... then her mom wouldn’t have died. In her mind, she is the reason her mom isn’t alive. In her dreams, she sees herself trying to pull her mom out of the car, out of the pool. 

ETA: (hit submit too soon) I had three grandparents die fairly expectedly, only my grandma was sudden and out of nowhere and it’s her death that I can’t get over. It’s been almost 14 years and I still cry like a baby when I think of her and how she didn’t get to meet my daughter, didn’t get to see the woman I became, didn’t get to help guide me when I needed her guidance. Even now I still think to myself, “oh, she will know the answer to this...” only to be painfully jolted back to the reality that I can’t ask her anymore questions. When you lose a loved one in a sudden manner, it is infinitely more difficult to deal with it. 

Edited by punkiepie
  • Sad 12
  • Love 25
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, grandmadugger said:

The likelihood is that she had a medical emergency and fell in the pool. The other possibility is that she slipped and knocked herself out. I would lean towards medical issues. 

She supposedly had a recent history of strokes and I think there was a party planned at the big house for two ex-howlers who had recently been paroled from Alert?  She may have been tidying up, expecting visitors to come use the pool when she had another stoke and was either incapacitated in the water or perhaps simply died from the stroke itself.

I'm sure it absolutely awful for Deanna to find her like that, but all deaths are sad.  My 78 year old aunt died from a stroke last year having lunch at the Olive Garden.  Her friend said she just slipped down as she was getting up from her chair and was dead by the time she hit the floor.  Hardly ever do we just go to sleep in bed and never wake up, but I'd rather go quickly instead of spending years wasting away in a nursing home in and out of lucidity like one of my grandmothers did. 

  • Upvote 24
  • I Agree 4
  • Thank You 1
  • Love 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Georgiana said:

A phrase I often hear when talking about difficult situations or triggers is "Anger is a mask".  Another phrase I really like is "Anger is a high".  It is both.  Anger is often a mask for other emotions that are harder to feel.  Anger is easier to feel than weakness and vulnerability.  It is easier to feel than powerlessness or insignificance.  It is much, much easier to feel angry at a family member than it is to grieve the loss of a family member.  Anger is also a high.  In that way, it can provide an emotional respite from other, more difficult emotions like grieving.  That's why it's so much easier for many of us to get angry when we are already experiencing negative emotions: because anger often feels better than those negative emotions, so we are more willing to jump to it.  And grief, which is often an overwhelming ocean with no relief in sight, can make anger seem very appealing.

So I understand why Amy may be lashing out at Jill now.  It's probably much easier for her to get angry at her cousin for not mourning Mary "correctly" than it is for her to deal with her incredible loss.

But I do think she is wrong, and likely eventually will offer Jill an apology.  Amy doesn't have any more right to tell Jill how to grieve than Jill has a right to tell Amy how to grieve.  Amy's connection with Mary was different from Jill's, likely stronger and deeper, but that does not invalidate Jill's connection to Mary nor does it give Amy ownership over grieving Mary.  

No one "owns" the right way to grieve a person.  Each human relationship is as unique as the two people it is between, and differences between our connections do not make them lesser or invalid.  Just different.  We all mourned my grandpa differently because we all had very different relationships with him.  I had a much different relationship with my grandfather than my younger cousins did for a myriad of reasons: some of them lived further away, they are 16-18 years younger than me, etc.  But that didn't make my mourning of my grandpa the "right" way to mourn him.  It didn't give me ownership over that, and it didn't give me the right to dictate to them how they should mourn.  I was devastated by the loss of my grandpa, but my youngest cousin was hardly bothered.  That's not wrong.  The kid was only 12 when my grandpa passed, he only saw my grandpa a couple times a year because his family lives further away, and my grandpa began declining when he was around 4.  It's natural that he didn't grieve like some of the older cousins, and because we accepted that, we were able to allow the younger cousins to provide much needed light and levity.  

It's just sad all around.  I hope they find a way to find comfort in each other and their different experiences rather than tearing each other down.  

I agree with everything you said about anger and grief. These two emotions are often intertwined during difficult times.

The day of my grandfather's funeral, I think I started crying in the car on our way there, until I cried myself to sleep that night. Never thought I could produce so many tears in my life to be honest. I was very emotional and I was in no way able to control any of it. It needed to come out. I remember very well my own cousin telling me (in the church, right before the ceremony) that we should be strong and not cry, in his honor. When he told me that, of course it only made me cry even more. It made me feel like my way to grieve was not right and in order to honor him, I should be ''strong''. I don't remember much about that day nor all the details of the ceremony, but his statement is stuck in my head forever. I think on the spot I never answered him, because if I would have said something, I would have regretted it. But as soon as the words reached my ears, all my anger was directed at him. I was struck by grieve and sadness, but I swear because my emotions were so raw, I was killing him a thousand times in my mind. And for months after the funeral, I stated that I ''hated'' my cousin and he was an ''a**hole''. I was 19 and it was my first time experiencing the loss of a close relative.

So in regards of the bolted sections: I think it takes a certain part of maturity to realize that there is no ''right'' way to grieve. Or at least it takes a certain step back, some perspective on the events; which usually comes only with time. Maybe at the moment, Amy is unable to realize that Jill's message and online posting were also valid forms of grieving.

I know for my part, I actually was never able to tell my cousin that his words were hurtful to me on that day. Even today, as I am writing this, he does not know. It was nine years ago. I just could not face him back then. We saw each other again eventually and time did heal a few wounds on my part. During those family events, well I opened my eyes a little and saw that he was not an ''a**hole''. I might have been blinded by grief. I was able to gain a certain perspective and realize my cousin was also grieving during the funeral, but differently. I think in his mind, he was ''comforting me'' by telling me to stay strong. That he was offering a sort of support. At least, I think so. Or maybe he wanted to be strong, and needed other people to be strong with him. In any case, my perception of the incident HAS changed. He was certainly very clumsy and tactless (and his intervention was probably not necessary), but he was also dealing with a lot of emotions inside of him, just as I was. And one knows emotions can make you act clumsy and tactless. Our grandma passed away in january. The circonstances of her death were very different (less sudden than my grandpa), and more of a relief considering she was not doing well when she passed. At the funeral, we were happy to see each other again. I think our reaction were much more level-headed and we were able to reminisce together about our Nana. 

I do hope for Amy and Jill that time will help in the matter. Maybe it is too hard for Amy to actually tell Jill in her face or privately. I know it was impossible for me to do it. But it is true that social media leaves traces. I know I avoided social media for that exact reason when I was grieving my grandpa (Facebook was already around back then). I did not want to post things I might regret.

Edited by Vivi_music
  • Upvote 8
  • Bless Your Heart 1
  • Love 18
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

I agree with having sympathy for his loss, but I have no sympathy for the invasion of  his privacy even at a time like this.  One simply cannot have it both ways.  If you deliberately and consciously set out to make a fortune by pimping out your family for fame and $$$, you don't get to pick and choose how that fame plays out. 

It’s not the invasion of JB’s privacy that bothers me, so much as the invasion of Grandma Mary’s. I know she was part of the original “And Counting” programs, but since they went off the air, she seems to have lived a much more private life. Her health issues last year don’t seem to have been publicized, and if they weren’t, it was probably because she wanted it that way.

The right to privacy doesn’t end when someone dies, and the poor woman was barely even cold before pickles et al started jumping on the story. 

6 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

I thought about this and complied a complicated answer.  But really I can sum it up in one word.  Projection.

I would have gone with a kinder answer—empathy. 

  • Upvote 20
  • Thank You 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Lillymuffin said:

It’s not the invasion of JB’s privacy that bothers me, so much as the invasion of Grandma Mary’s. I know she was part of the original “And Counting” programs, but since they went off the air, she seems to have lived a much more private life. Her health issues last year don’t seem to have been publicized, and if they weren’t, it was probably because she wanted it that way.

We have no right to privacy when we die.  That's the law.  You can't invade the privacy of someone who isn't alive.  If Mary had never been on the show, her death probably would have been mentioned only in passing at most. But because she and her family have been seen my millions over the world, its a story.  Murder victims have no say in how their deaths get reported either.   We may not like it, but that's the way it goes. 

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

We have no right to privacy when we die.  That's the law.  You can't invade the privacy of someone who isn't alive.  If Mary had never been on the show, her death probably would have been mentioned only in passing at most. But because she and her family have been seen my millions over the world, its a story.  Murder victims have no say in how their deaths get reported either.   We may not like it, but that's the way it goes. 

That actually depends on your state. There is no federal protection beyond the basics of HIPAA (which “requires criminal penalties if a liable party knowingly shares information and more severe penalties if the information is sold or otherwise used for personal gain. In many cases, privacy violations result in civil penalties rather than criminal ones.”*) but state laws differ wildly. I don’t know what the law in AK is, as I’m not from there, nor have I needed to research it. She wasn’t a victim of murder, so that’s a nonstarter. She was, at best, a retired D-list celebrity. 

My point is, it’s still a shitty, disrespectful way to behave to a woman who just died. *

*source, NALA continuing ed seminar 2014 

*source, the reasonable person rule

  • Upvote 6
  • I Agree 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Lillymuffin said:

I don’t know what the law in AK

We've hit this one again.  The law in Alaska isn't relevant, but the law in AR (Arkansas) is.  :mouse-shock:   ?  Since the coroner released a summary of the findings, I'm going with quite a bit of the coroner's report must be public information.  It seems to be most places.  

  • Upvote 5
  • Haha 14
  • Thank You 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Coconut Flan said:

We've hit this one again.  The law in Alaska isn't relevant, but the law in AR (Arkansas) is.  :mouse-shock:   ?  Since the coroner released a summary of the findings, I'm going with quite a bit of the coroner's report must be public information.  It seems to be most places.  

:embarrassed: Geography never was my strong suit. 

  • Upvote 12
  • Thank You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, Lillymuffin said:

I don’t know what the law in AK is, as I’m not from there, 

Just a gentle & tickled reminder — AK is Alaska, AR is Arkansas. 

I’m always tickled when the two get swapped,  because I’d move to AK in a heartbeat.

OTOH: From AR, I am running away as fast as an insect can run! (No offense to happy Arkansans. It’s Just not for me!)

ETA: posted this as CoconutFlan was posting! Don’t mean to beat a dead hoss! :) 

Edited by MamaJunebug
  • Upvote 4
  • I Agree 1
  • Thank You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, Lillymuffin said:

That actually depends on your state. There is no federal protection beyond the basics of HIPAA (which “requires criminal penalties if a liable party knowingly shares information and more severe penalties if the information is sold or otherwise used for personal gain. In many cases, privacy violations result in civil penalties rather than criminal ones.”*) but state laws differ wildly. I don’t know what the law in AK is, as I’m not from there, nor have I needed to research it. She wasn’t a victim of murder, so that’s a nonstarter. She was, at best, a retired D-list celebrity. 

My point is, it’s still a shitty, disrespectful way to behave to a woman who just died. *

*source, NALA continuing ed seminar 2014 

*source, the reasonable person rule

It is shitty and disrespectful and perfectly legal despite the things you've chosen to quote from the internet.  The dead are no longer people and they have no right to privacy.  Further, it's public information. 

  • Upvote 2
  • Move Along 3
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

It is shitty and disrespectful and perfectly legal despite the things you've chosen to quote from the internet.  The dead are no longer people and they have no right to privacy.  Further, it's public information. 

I’m quoting from a continuing education class I took several years ago, but thanks. I shortened the citation for the sake of brevity, but thought the gist was clear. Pickles and/or whomever else sold that info to People or tmz, etc, violated HIPAA law. 

NALA stands for the National Association of Legal Assistants. I’m a certified paralegal, meaning I’ve gotten extra education and taken the paralegal equivalent of the bar exam. It’s basically the legal equivalent of being a nurse practitioner. I can do everything an atty can do except give unapproved legal advice, and take cases to trial, and motions to make that happen keep getting shut down by the bar assoc. 

I do know what I’m talking about, but just as an aside, I generally make it a point not to talk out of my ass. 

Edited by Lillymuffin
  • Upvote 14
  • Bless Your Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

RIP Grandma Mary, I hope she went quickly...

Like most people, this news has caused me to reflect on my own experiences with death. I'm young and I have yet to lose any direct family members, but I know it's inevitable and I'm terrified of it. I would say I even have an unnatural fixation with it. It's easy for me to try to imagine what peoples' last moments are like, and it makes me sick. I guess when you've had a near-death experience, you realize how terrifying and lonely your last moments can be. I actually think I can sympathize with anyone who can slowly feel themselves going, no matter how horrible they were in life. It was just that lonely in my experience.

My mom is someone who I find extremely (though unintentionally) callous when it comes to death. For instance, a family friend's son had committed suicide, and I recall my mom saying something along the lines of "it's really sad, but he was kind of a fuck-up." I was appalled by what she said and found myself in a weird scenario where I scold my mom like a little kid - when I repeated it back to her she realized how horrible it was to say.

She always treated the death of her favorite cousin this way, too. I'll try not to give away too much personal information, but her cousin was murdered in a pretty gruesome way, it was sensationalized at the time and it's been the subject of several TV movies. Of course, the way her cousin was portrayed was inaccurate, they characterized her as dumb gold-digger. My mom was always fascinated with the movies - recording them, re-watching them, wanting me to join her. It's her really fucked-up way of mourning her cousin, and it still makes no sense to me. I guess the trauma of her murder makes it difficult to reflect on her happy memories of her. 

Unfortunately Grandma Mary's death was very tragic (IMO) so I hope everyone is able to grieve healthily, in their own way.

Edited by precious blessing
  • Upvote 12
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

What a self-centered thing to say. I took you off ignore because you've actually been a lot more reasonable in the last few months. But I think you need to go back on.

I’m not seeing how luv2 was self-centered. She said she doesn’t let negativity bother her (good) and that she was here to talk about Grandma (also good) Neither comment is self centered. You are going to have to put a lot of people on ignore, including me, if a benign comment like that bothers you. Oddly, you never seem to do so, lol.

  • Upvote 6
  • Move Along 1
  • Downvote 10
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spoiler upbfiqch53431.png&key=df1df4aaf5ff4b4931e4c7d97ee2f0fbb4464b75ec75b9df33355e9a8077920d
Just saw this tweet from Amy on the Duggar Snark reddit. This feels directed at Jill, Jana, etc. who used emojis in their Grandma tributes in a way that made some feel uncomfortable here. I feel sad for Amy. She must feel kind of alone in a crowd in some ways, because I feel like her relationship with her grandmother was a little different than that of her cousins.
Sad to learn the circumstances of Grandma Mary's death. I live in Florida where there are a lot of backyard pools and have had a couple friends whose family members died in this way, I believe each of them had a heart attack or stroke near the pool and fell in. Breaks my heart.


Jill used [emoji23][emoji23] emojis in one of her posts. Mixed in with [emoji24][emoji24] If I was Amy I’d be pissed too.
  • Upvote 2
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This thread is actually making me giggle for a bad reason... you know how around the time of a funeral a family will often end up bickering about the stupidest stuff? Like whether it should be peanuts or macadamia nuts in the good blue bowl. Or whether the holiday where it rained a lot was in 1995 or 1996.

Stuff that doesn't matter and won't make the slightest difference in the end, but the arguing is at a level where everyone in the room is  "BY GOD I'm right and no one is going to tell me I'm not!!!"

Are we....um....doing that a bit here? ???

Are we in fact part of Grandma Duggar's family?? ???

 

  • Upvote 33
  • Haha 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Lillymuffin said:

I’m quoting from a continuing education class I took several years ago, but thanks. I shortened the citation for the sake of brevity, but thought the gist was clear. Pickles and/or whomever else sold that info to People or tmz, etc, violated HIPAA law. 

 

HIPAA applies to people who have access to that information for a professional reason (nurses, doctors hospital employees, etc) it does not apply to random people on the street. If you tell me you have a health condition and I tell everyone and their brother, I'm a shitty person but I didn't violate HIPAA. If your doctor tells everyone, big problem.

HIPAA applies to the deceased. Medical professionals will not release phi even if the patient has expired.

 

  • Upvote 22
  • I Agree 3
  • Thank You 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

Jill came across as totally immature to me, which is not surprising, considering Jill is totally immature (not her fault! Mostly).   Amy has every right to be annoyed and post what she wants about it.  I wouldn't bother, but she's upset.

As far as all this damaged cousin relationship stuff, I always thought Amy was more or less a TLC creation for 19 Kids.  I'm sure they hung a lot out when she and the oldest Duggars were little but I always found it hard to believe she had close relationships with them when they were older -  "in real life" that is. 

Cousins.  I have a lot of them.  Most of them I haven't seen in since my grandmothers died, except for Creepy Chris who I see on the train sometimes and another one who I occasionally see at Trader Joe's.  Sometimes we duck down aisles to avoid each other, sometimes we stop and say "hi".   I am in much closer contact to the cousins I've met through Ancestry who live thousands of miles away!  Tell me I'm not alone here?

  

Definitely not alone!

  • Upvote 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Kelsey said:

HIPAA applies to the deceased. Medical professionals will not release phi even if the patient has expired.

HIPAA isn't relevant here.  As far as we know, no one has released medical records of any kind.   A poster or two were complaining that Mary's privacy was violated  by the media reporting on the 911 call that provides the details of her death.  The deceased have no privacy rights with regard to the reporting of material in public records.  Privacy is a personal right, and as such only extends to the living.  Any "privacy" for the dead is is typically going to stem from privacy rights that may apply to living relatives, and none apply here. 

  • Upvote 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What Pickles did was shitty.

And my condolences to everyone sharing their stories of loss and grieving.

But there is also a hell of a lot of misinformation and muddled thinking on here.  There are differences among HIPAA, Privacy, and Confidentiality.    

@JenniferJuniper, just covered it more concisely, but I'd already written this so ...

HIPAA is the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act:  legislation that provides data privacy and security provisions for safeguarding medical information that is shared among health providers.  It is a subsection of patient privacy rules and legislation.

Patient privacy also encompasses confidentiality.  What you share with physical and mental health providers is privileged information.  It means that even basic medical information can't be shared even with your nearest and dearest unless you agree.  That is if you are adult and mentally intact.  Even medical professional have been known to blur this one when dealing with older people, but it is why people appoint Powers of Attorney and Durable Powers of Attorney.   There are legal exceptions to them all (Tarasoff, anyone).  And lawsuits have been filed over whether privacy and confidentiality extends after death.  

1 hour ago, Kelsey said:

HIPAA applies to the deceased. Medical professionals will not release phi even if the patient has expired.

Yes.  Of course, amalgamated data  is shared for research purposes after all identifying info has been removed.  All the time.

And some things like death certificates and coroner reports fall under public information.  

Edited by Palimpsest
  • Upvote 19
  • Thank You 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

What Pickles did was shitty.

And my condolences to everyone sharing their stories of loss and grieving.

And some things like death certificates and coroner reports fall under public information.  

I hate to sound like a broken record, but this, too, depends on your state. I’ve been dealing with this since October with the sudden death of the late Mr Muffin. Because we weren’t married, I have no legal standing as his next of kin, yet we lived together and all his accounts, bills, etc. come to my house. (I was supposed to be the beneficiary of his life insurance, too, but because of his manner of death, that’s not happening.)

His closest family lives eight hours away, so they can’t practicably handle anything, but they had to sign off for me to get copies of his death certificate, autopsy, and coroner’s report. They wouldn’t release them as public docs, or even because we had intended to marry. They needed written permission from his legal next of kin. In a few weeks, I’ll need his DNA profile to establish paternity, and they’ll have to sign off again, which will be fun. 

  • Upvote 1
  • Sad 1
  • Love 30
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, punkiepie said:

Several years ago my great aunt died in a swimming pool. Depending on which relative you talk to, the story changes, but the facts everyone agrees on are this: she got in her car, which was parked in her carport, turned on the car, accelerated the car, the car went through the brick wall of the carport, the car and her landed in the pool, and my great aunt drowned- in her car, in the pool. Her daughter lived next door and heard the crash, ran over and tried to save her mom, but it was too late- she died. She was in her 80’s, a widow, and could swim very well. Depending on which family member you talk to will get you a different story. To some, she accelerated on purpose. To others, she was trying to back up, but hit the wrong pedal. Either way, I have been haunted by the image of her last moments- struggling to get out of her car, water pouring in, and in all of her clothes, 80 years old- she must have known she was going to die. It makes me sick to my stomach. And when I think about Grandma Duggar- it reminds me so much of my great aunt. No one wants to think of their loved one being terrified, alone, and struggling to live even as they die. It’s basically the worst thing one could imagine. My cousin, her daughter who tried to save her, has never been the same.  She is fundamentally altered. Even now, years later, she is haunted by the notion that if she had run faster, if she had called 911 first, if, if if... then her mom wouldn’t have died. In her mind, she is the reason her mom isn’t alive. In her dreams, she sees herself trying to pull her mom out of the car, out of the pool. 

ETA: (hit submit too soon) I had three grandparents die fairly expectedly, only my grandma was sudden and out of nowhere and it’s her death that I can’t get over. It’s been almost 14 years and I still cry like a baby when I think of her and how she didn’t get to meet my daughter, didn’t get to see the woman I became, didn’t get to help guide me when I needed her guidance. Even now I still think to myself, “oh, she will know the answer to this...” only to be painfully jolted back to the reality that I can’t ask her anymore questions. When you lose a loved one in a sudden manner, it is infinitely more difficult to deal with it. 

I don’t know if this will help you, but I am a paramedic. Unless you know for sure your great aunt was conscious, a much more likely scenario is that she either died suddenly or was rendered unconscious by a medical emergency.  When this happens while people are driving, their foot becomes heavy and if it’s on the accelerator, pushes the accelerator to the floor.  Most people will realize they’ve hit the accelerator instead of the brake within a few seconds and not really go that far.  I would expect your great aunt didn’t suffer; she may have been gone long before the car entered the pool.

No one needed to know the details of Grandma Mary’s death and the family hasn’t released them.  I assume we can blame Pickles for that. She honestly just needs to go away.

  • Upvote 24
  • I Agree 1
  • Thank You 2
  • Love 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not a fan of Cucumber but I wouldn't give her that much credit. The 911 call was bound to be released. She just happened to hear something from someone who knew the family and in typical classless fashion posted it.

  • Upvote 5
  • I Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two thoughts...

Regarding privacy- (not the media, so kinda going off on a tangent), but rather end of life) my mom was such a private person, but once she was in hospice (the facility, not their care, which she had been under for several months), relatives came out of the woodwork. It really pissed me off- she struggled 17 months with cancer. Where were those relatives then? She was largely unconscious but I know her well and she would've hated people seeing her like that. I feel the same way and have told my adult kids and husband that I want a private passing. Just them and me, no mother in law, extended relatives I haven't seen in ten years, etc. And after I'm gone no viewing.

My other thought is about anger after a death. When my mom died, boy was I pissed. Everyone sent flowers, which is a perfectly lovely thing to do, but at the time, every time I saw that damn flower truck come to the house I would be filled with rage. I threw them all away. For years after that, I couldn't deal with getting flower deliveries. Completely irrational but it's how I felt. She died rather young and I guess I had a lot of anger around it all.  

  • Upvote 2
  • Love 32
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.