Dillards 77: Sex Advice from Smoochie Sweetie Sweet Muffin

[nst]

4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Yes, this is what I thought too, especially with regards to the married siblings, because there’s a whole other family to consider, and most of the other families are just large and not Duggaresque. But for those still living at The TTH, where there are no known outside jobs, friends, or school activities, there really is not that excuse.

i think at first it was different with the other inlaws because it was a novelty.  The kellars were a once a while sporadic episode visit, it wasn't as intense as it is now. 

then we got the novelty of derick and his mother. Again we thought how will it go on and on with people moving away, some not not to mention would they toe the party line. 

the moment jessa got engaged and michelle said what she said to mrs sweewald about how many kids Jessa and Ben would have in a year and we got that look from Mrs Seewald I knew times were changing. Then the show got cancelled

But I think the thing now is how much the inlaws want to be on the show...

How the mothers act with the daughters is the key...lauren's mother is a big lauren. 

[patsymae]

 "too told Mr. Outta about the 6 second kiss. He immediately wanted to try it...yeah did not go so well. I was done after 2 seconds probably. He held on for the 6, but it was the most awkward kiss I have ever had."

 

For some reason this made me flash back to a billion years ago CCD for adolescents and endless discussion about kissing, French kissing, hickeys --OMG what are the rules?
Happily lapsed, still culturally Catholic, mostly if I feel the need settle my head do it with with Franciscans--you're fine--but this post brought me back to how long can you kiss, what about the dreaded TONGUE--that was endlessly absorbing at age 13. Which I'm thinking is where the married Duggar girls are about now.

[patsymae]

On 6/5/2019 at 10:49 AM, bal maiden said:

Preach! Never was sex so miserable as when TTC. 

Close your eyes and think of Gothard.

[patsymae]

On 6/4/2019 at 5:11 PM, onekidanddone said:

Jill fails to tell us what husbands should do when their wives come home from work. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marabel_Morgan

[Bad Wolf]

I tried the 6 second kiss. 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi. I lost count and screwed up the kiss.

[Aauel]

My husband gets annoyed when the kids jump him at the door.  He needs at least 10 minutes to change out of work clothes and get into home mode. 

[patsymae]

Hey, men, when you have spent an entire day hanging out at the law school library and are finally going home, make sure you are appealing to your wife who has been caring for your home and your children all day! Before heading home, visit the school's gym and shower, cover your body with lotion that has a scent your wife likes, and change into fresh clothes that you should have been carrying with you all day. When you pull up into your driveway, honk to make sure the children see you coming and can meet you outside. Then you can all walk in together and thank Momma for all her hard work during the day! Hopefully the toddler children have prepared dinner, but if not, make sure you time the take-out to arrive at the same time you and the children walk through the door.

Oh, I could go on but I'm boring myself

[HurricaneBells]

My 18 mo staffy must be cuddled and kissed every day on my return (well actually anytime, he is an absolute love bug but there is a "mums home" ritual happening). Its nice to have 1 out of 4 be happy mums home. Pic of him and the monster having a morning snuggle in the warm (getting cold here) included just because i think its adorable!

Edited June 9, 2019 by HurricaneBells
add

[Imaginary_Wonderland]

Oh I love your doggy! My girl is exact same colour, except her face looks a bit different cos she is only half staffy. I had a bit a shitty day today and was a bit crappy miserable fed up mood arriving home, until I was wrestling the keys in door (even that wasn't working for me today) and next thing I hear/ feel a loud thud on door, and frantic scraping and scratching and ouch level high pitched yelping on the other side of the door. Ah, thats my girl, and from then on, the rest of the days troubles melted away forgotten and the warm fuzzy feelings kicked in seeing her do her crazy welcome home dance. Dogs are just the best thing ever.

[PennySycamore]

@patsymae, I had to laugh when you mentioned Marabel Morgan.  If anyone wants to know some of the crap that Marabel advised women to do,  there's the scene in Fried Green Tomatoes where Evelyn greets her husband at the door:

 

That's Fanny Flagg as the teacher in the beginning of the clip and Missy Schulman as Evelyn's friend.

Edited June 9, 2019 by PennySycamore

[Granwych]

On 6/4/2019 at 3:36 PM, Lurky said:

Jill threads are a rollercoaster!  I was pleasantly surprised when the last one started with us complimenting her for getting the hang of social media....  and now I'm reading the last few pages of that thread looking like this:

I'm kind of scared to start this thread and see what's happened since then!

If Jill's attempts at edumacating her readers weren't so pathetic, they'd be cute.  Maybe.

Rufus help us should she post instructions on performing fellatio.

 

 

[HarleyQuinn]

That photo she shared of the backseat of her car is disgusting. She doesn't have a job, there's no reason your car should be that filthy.

[lumpentheologie]

13 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

That photo she shared of the backseat of her car is disgusting. She doesn't have a job, there's no reason your car should be that filthy.

Does being a stay at home mom not count as a job?  I'd consider it a more demanding job than many 40-hr-a-week ones. 

[Ali]

26 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

That photo she shared of the backseat of her car is disgusting. She doesn't have a job, there's no reason your car should be that filthy.

Stay at home moms with young children are kept fairly busy. Most of the mess looked like kid mess. Young kids will think they are starving to death in the car even if they just ate. Young kids are frequently cranky by the time you get home, so usually parents just want to get them in the house. She had Israel cleaning it up, so she was teaching him to clean up his own mess even though he has a penis. 

I am currently a stay at home mom with three kids. Thanks for telling me I am a failure and lazy because my very vehicles are dirty.

Frankly, I would rather focus on their hateful beliefs than BEC stuff.

[VelociRapture]

22 minutes ago, Ali said:

Stay at home moms with young children are kept fairly busy. Most of the mess looked like kid mess. Young kids will think they are starving to death in the car even if they just ate. Young kids are frequently cranky by the time you get home, so usually parents just want to get them in the house. She had Israel cleaning it up, so she was teaching him to clean up his own mess even though he has a penis. 

I am currently a stay at home mom with three kids. Thanks for telling me I am a failure and lazy because my very vehicles are dirty.

Frankly, I would rather focus on their hateful beliefs than BEC stuff.

 

44 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Does being a stay at home mom not count as a job?  I'd consider it a more demanding job than many 40-hr-a-week ones. 

Thank you both! Being a SAHM has been the most rewarding and most demanding job I’ve personally ever had* - my (very adorable) boss is highly demanding and I’m constantly “on call” without always having backup to take over for me. Some days I’m able to clean half the house with no trouble and other days I’m lucky if I’m able to take a simple shower or finish my meal without constant interruptions or meltdowns. Cleaning the car? Not a priority most of the time, especially now that I’m pregnant again and we’re trying to sell our condo. There’s only so much I can do in the time I have available each day - other parents might be able to keep their cars spotless and that’s pretty awesome, but I’m not one of them. 

So yeah. This specific criticism honestly just reeks of BEC to me. A dirty car isn’t something I’m going to worry about when it comes to the Dills - whether they’re emotionally or intellectually stunting their kids or pushing hateful beliefs are things I’m concerned with though. 

*Experiences will obviously vary and I’m only speaking for myself here. If you’ve found it to be easier than other jobs you’ve had then I offer you a double high five because you’re a rock star. And if you have found it as difficult or more so than I have then I’d like to offer you a big hug, some chocolate, and a nap because you’re a rockstar too (same goes for working parents as well - parenting can be hard regardless of circumstances.)

[SilverBeach]

I was never a SAHM. However, I was a single mom.  Being a single mom was the hardest thing I ever did. Nonetheless, my car never looked like that, and I never left used diapers on the nightstand either. I'm a neatnik by nature, I admit that, but I think that perhaps the chaos of the TTH and even before the TTH did not impart a sense of order and cleanliness.  I don't think being a mom should be used as an excuse for being messy.  Some people have messy cars without having small  children, it's just how they roll. Also, being messy is not the end of the world, it's not my preference but unless things get downright unhygienic, it's no big deal.  

Edited June 9, 2019 by SilverBeach

[Sky with diamonds]

Jill's sex talk post made me cringe. She seems to be still fundie as ever.

[Silas]

I only have one kid and the back of my car is a disaster. It's past the point of no return, even when I clean it there's stains from his shoes on the seat, etc. Also my kid (and lots of younger kids) don't sleep for crap. Not sure where that whole "sleep like a baby" crap came from. So yeah, free time doesn't happen unless I stay up until 2AM. Not happening.  When my son was a baby I couldn't even clean during his naps because naps were a joke. I went and looked at the picture, it's not as bad as I expected (Unless I'm looking at the wrong pic). If anything she's more cramped with stuff than just plain dirt (minus crumbs on the floorboard). I'd probably stuff all of it in the trunk but perhaps her trunk is full of bulk cases of pregnancy tests, IDK.

Edited June 10, 2019 by Silas
left something out yikes

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

I was never a SAHM. However, I was a single mom.  Being a single mom was the hardest thing I ever did. Nonetheless, my car never looked like that, and I never left used diapers on the nightstand either. I'm a neatnik by nature, I admit that, but I think that perhaps the chaos of the TTH and even before the TTH did not impart a sense of order and cleanliness.  I don't think being a mom should be used as an excuse for being messy.  Some people have messy cars without having small  children, it's just how they roll. Also, being messy is not the end of the world, it's not my preference but unless things get downright unhygienic, it's no big deal.  

You obviously don’t need to answer if you don’t feel like it, but I’m curious: did your daughter spend a lot of time in your car? I ask because I’ve noticed that things at my house stay cleaner when we aren’t home much during the day, while it can get pretty messy when we are home a lot. The same is true with our cars - my car is consistently messier than my husband’s because our daughter only ever rides in my car. The car seat is a pain to move between vehicles, so my car is the official ride of the Velocichildren for that reason. It’s easy for my husband to keep his car clean because he doesn’t have a tiny person constantly throwing food and toys everywhere. 

(I would assume your daughter did spend a lot of time in your car because you were a single mom, but it was just a thought I had and I was kind of curious. Regardless, you get a triple high five and chocolate of your choice because being a single parent sounds like it can be really tough at times. I know it’s tough for me when husband is gone a lot during busy season, but I can still text him during the day or have him run home during an emergency or have him take over at night so I can just be alone for five minutes - that’s a luxury a lot of single parents don’t have.)

[WiseGirl]

2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Being a single mom was the hardest thing I ever did. 

Preach!  (WiseChild has recently flown the coop).

My car was never dirty either, but one of my ways of coping with anxiety and stress is to clean and organize, so there you go!

Also after all those pictures and all Jill's advice all I paid attention to was that Isreal is left handed. I never noticed it before and apparently that is what my brain is paying attention to this night.

[HarleyQuinn]

11 hours ago, Ali said:

 

I am currently a stay at home mom with three kids. Thanks for telling me I am a failure and lazy because my very vehicles are dirty.

 

Thats not at all what I said but go ahead and overreact.

Look, i know being a sahm isn't easy but isn't part of the whole homemaker thing keeping home? Maybe I'm a clean freak but if shit spills, I clean it up immediately. 

[SassyPants]

15 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Thats not at all what I said but go ahead and overreact.

Look, i know being a sahm isn't easy but isn't part of the whole homemaker thing keeping home? Maybe I'm a clean freak but if shit spills, I clean it up immediately. 

I totally get your POV. I also was always a working parent and I think we cleaned immediately because we never knew when our next free moment might be. And while I get how staying home with a kid or kids is tough, I think the SAHs do have more freedom as to when they do most things that are not directly kid related. For example, dinner can be late, or cleaning up a spill could be put off, but when you work for a living and are also a parent,  you are always on someone else’s time clock, always.

 

 

 

 

[HurricaneBells]

As we have been well reminded of late, we are here to discuss the hateful and destructive beliefs of these people. Its hardly surprising that some members get offended or annoyed when others critisize over things that are common to fundies and non fundies alike (hello, me in another thread yesterday!). If other sahms have messy cars then it doesnt just apply to the fundie you speak of generally, so yes, it is what you said and instead of just owning this tiny fact, told someone they are overreacting. Whether a bec comment is in general or specific to fundiehood not a difficult thing to measure.

[AtlanticTug]

I work 7 0-80 hours a week as a corporate lawyer. I was a SAHM for 2 years and I can guarantee you the 80 hours a week is a hell of a lot more work. On top of that I come home to a 2 and 4 year old, and the nanny goes home while I make dinner, get them to bed, clean up the house then continue to work for another 1-2 hours before bed. My husband is in ibanking and travels a lot so I'm alone about 60% of the time, and when he's here he works insane hours. 

That car seat is FILTHY  and disgusting. I'm sorry but there is a difference between a messy car (kids who brought in toys or stuffues, or you have a couple of empty bags of treats in pockets, or some spilled crackers on the floor. But the seat looks like it has never been cleaned, it's probably a bacterial breeding ground and smells beyond gross. Compare it to when Cathy bought it new and you'll be absolutely shocked. I'm sorry but there is no way that in the last THREE years Jill was SO busy she couldn't have cleaned it once. Maybe have sex 2 times a week instead of 3, what with that and lotioning yourself up you'll probably find some time...

[heysmilinstrange]

26 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

I work 7 0-80 hours a week as a corporate lawyer. I was a SAHM for 2 years and I can guarantee you the 80 hours a week is a hell of a lot more work. On top of that I come home to a 2 and 4 year old, and the nanny goes home while I make dinner, get them to bed, clean up the house then continue to work for another 1-2 hours before bed. My husband is in ibanking and travels a lot so I'm alone about 60% of the time, and when he's here he works insane hours. 

That car seat is FILTHY  and disgusting. I'm sorry but there is a difference between a messy car (kids who brought in toys or stuffues, or you have a couple of empty bags of treats in pockets, or some spilled crackers on the floor. But the seat looks like it has never been cleaned, it's probably a bacterial breeding ground and smells beyond gross. Compare it to when Cathy bought it new and you'll be absolutely shocked. I'm sorry but there is no way that in the last THREE years Jill was SO busy she couldn't have cleaned it once. Maybe have sex 2 times a week instead of 3, what with that and lotioning yourself up you'll probably find some time...

Congrats on your job and your opinions, I guess.