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Carlin and Evan 6: Virgin Drinks and Beach Pics and Expecting


GreyhoundFan

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Scrolling through comments because I clearly have nothing better to do...

Someone congratulated Carlin on "the baby".

Someone else asked why they wear pants after marriage, and someone else responded:
"because not wearing pants is their parents standard, and once married are no longer under the authority of their parents, and most of the daughters seem to have married guys who seem to let the girls pick their own clothing standards."

How can someone write that in 2019 and think it's fine???

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I do think a lot of the comments people left to fundies asking about babies, even to Michaella, its with good intention. They are just hopeful that she is going to announce a pregnancy. But what Rebalyn did was totally intentional, i just didnt bring the other comments here before she deleted them because i found them too vile to repeat but she was insinuating her husband wasnt interested in her because reasons and thats why she is not having a baby. You dont make those kind of comments to someone with good intentions. And if she did the same to Lauren and Josiah then she is really sick in the head.

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Did you see the insta story on her bedroom? This is the first time I actually like the interior of a fundie that I have seen ?

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24 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

Did you see the insta story on her bedroom? This is the first time I actually like the interior of a fundie that I have seen ?

I did! Erin is geting better at decoration, this is her best job by far.

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4 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Did you see the insta story on her bedroom? This is the first time I actually like the interior of a fundie that I have seen ?

Same! I love deep colors on walls. That shade of green is especially lovely.

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4 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Did you see the insta story on her bedroom? This is the first time I actually like the interior of a fundie that I have seen ?

Just went and looked and I actually love that too, I would decorate my house like that.

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32 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Erin’s skills have improved a lot since the pink room. 

:::small voice::: I loved the pink room

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17 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

:::small voice::: I loved the pink room

ditto.  

 

i do like the millwork grid she put on the wall behind the headboard.  i did the same thing in my previous kitchen around 2005; i saw it on Trading Spaces and did mine in red boards on a white wall.  that kitchen had vintage 1942 red countertops that were in surprisingly good condition, so i had painted the bulkheads and baseboards red to match.

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Wow....this is some interesting stuff. Were they rude to guests at Carlin's wedding? Couldn't be any worse than serving ice cream outside in Nov. But I'm a reception snob.

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5 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Wow....this is some interesting stuff. Were they rude to guests at Carlin's wedding? Couldn't be any worse than serving ice cream outside in Nov. But I'm a reception snob.

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/a-family-friend-just-called-out-the-bates-family-for-how-they-treated-guests-at-carlins-wedding.html/

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25 minutes ago, ZingerWinger said:

  No one ever talks about the Bates' life before the show, but I was there to witness it. My, do I have some piping hot tea. 

I've sort of wanted to speak my mind for a while, but I've been busy living my life. This morning, after reading about the deplorable manner in which the Bates had treated their guests at Carlin's wedding (then scrubbed the comment off their blog), I decided the time has come. So here, with my cup of tea in hand, I commence.

I was friends with the older children circa 2003, all through my teenage years. We did tons of things together. Swimming, music, games, hanging out, etc. They were magnetic and dynamic and extremely warm, so we became fast friends. 

The Bates family attended a tiny church called Halls Baptist Church (made up of roughly 150 members), and every family in the church worshiped them. It was a personality
cult all it's own. Gil Bates was the Deacon, and Timothy Gupton was the pastor.

The church was incredibly problematic. Child abuse ran rampant.  I have a vivid memory of walking outside during one of the services, and a man was openly beating his three-year old daughter. Sometimes when I went to the bathroom, these beatings were occurring too. During the latter months I was there, CPS launched something of an investigation on a few of the families, and a couple families got their children taken due to abuse and molestation. From what I know now, the church has changed a LOT since those days. . .  for the better.

During the time I attended Halls Baptist Church from 12 years old onward, the Bates were extremely fundamental - to the extreme. When any of the girls in the church wore skirts too short, they would get nasty looks from the deacons' family. 

Vices the Bates would call out included: anything related to Christmas (someone was called out for wearing red and green in December), television and media, internet, going to amusement parks (even Dollywood was off-limits & could get you kicked out of the choir), nail polish or makeup, wearing dresses above the ankles, listening to music other than gospel (one time, when Michaela and Erin were being car-pooled, they demanded the woman driving them change the music because it was offensive), boys & girls swimming together or pretty much talking to each other, skipping any church service for any reason (one time a girl was roughly told by Michaela "I hope the pastor preaches a convicting sermon about not forsaking your local assembly" when she was staying out one week). Rather predictable, run-of-the-mill Gothard "convictions", as we know. The oldest kids were just teenagers at the time, but these thoughts were drummed into their heads . . . along with their tiny siblings.

In a word, the Bates were gatekeepers & rulers of the church. If they didn't accept a family, the family usually ended up leaving one way or another. The politics were rather simple: Gil Bates had heavy sway over Timothy Gupton. The Pastor took heed to almost anything he said.  Kelly influenced Gil. So, by proxy, Kelly ruled the Church. It was an interesting dynamic. Nearly every one of the few families in the church was "racing" to have children. There was yet another family of 16 (in constant competition with the Bates), a family of 13, a family of 12, and so on and so forth. Huge families were the norm because everyone wanted to be like the Bates. As you can see, it was a proper personality cult. 

Everyone adored the Bates, yet hated the Bates. They were lively and upbeat and charismatic, yet woefully judgmental and presumptuous. Laymen would bring them bags of clothing, new tires, do construction work on their house when it was running down. The first church pianist taught their kids piano lessons for $5. There was a family physician in the Church whom Gil would often call for free medication. They were never in need because the church ensured they were amply provided for. 

Something particularly difficult about the Bates' family, which I still cannot scrub from my mind, was the blatant favoritism that existed within the family. Erin was hailed the Queen, given a huge 16th birthday party bash, and allowed leisure time to play the piano. She'd often taunt that she was her dad's favorite, to her younger siblings dismay (she'd laugh it off as a "joke").  Kelly had always wanted to be a musician (she expressed this on a number of occasions). But she was not talented in music, so she was living vicariously through Erin. At a certain point Erin became the church pianist, so it was pivotal that she be allowed all the time necessary to practice. Meanwhile, Michaela was the work horse. She made dinners almost nightly, changed the diapers, and cleaned the house. She would do so with a smile on her face, saying it was "as unto the Lord." She truly believed this was her great purpose in life, and did it to the best of her ability. But the sheer dichotomy and imbalance (which eventually drove a wedge between the two) cannot be overstated. 

The Bates had a magical way of acquiring free things. When they would go to a store, they would often and loudly mention how many children they had (I bore witness to this), and that they were just trying to keep food in their mouths. They would leave said stores with freebies. I recall Zach receiving a free pair of boots from a man he and his dad mowed lawns for, because his other pair was worn to the bone. They were quick to mention all the freebies they received, citing that the Lord blessed them. Meanwhile, people in professional careers were viewed as inferior . . . because they were simply working for their material wealth, rather than trusting in divine providence. The Bates would attend nearly every possible "free kids night" in the community (to the point that many of the local establishments now dread them). 

ATI was a sore topic, and one to be avoided. Pastor Gupton did not like Bill Gothard because the man's organization was filled with a variety of denominations. "Ecumenical", as he called it. Gupton was strictly Baptist. Because of this, Gil Bates pretended he had severed ties with Bill Gothard. In the meantime, his daughters were writing letters back and forth to the Duggars (incognito), buying music from ATI, and following the ATI convictions. They talked often & fondly about the "good old days" in which Gil Bates would preach at the conferences. 

When I transitioned into my first year of college, I received a number of snide remarks about it from people within the church. Women weren't supposed to go to college (DUH!). This hurt and confused me. Around this time, the Bates were toying around with the idea of being guests on the Duggars' show. I could feel myself and the Bates' kids growing distant - but I was deep in denial. We were friends for years, there's no way they would turn on me now! 

Everything came to a rapid halt when Gil deceived Timothy into believing they were going on a vacation, when in actuality they were going on television. After the Bates appeared on the Duggars' TV show, the pastor officially snapped. He preached a sermon that included a salty remark about men preaching one thing, then living another thing (referring to Gil preaching against television, then going on television). When the Bates returned back to the Tennessee and caught wind of said comment (one of the church members was eager to blow the whistle no doubt), they popped off. They claimed that the pastor had dishonored their family, and there was no redemption. Timothy and his wife apologized amply through tears, but to no avail. This was their big shining moment to leave this podunk Church behind and return to ATI - where their heart had been all along. The church split down the middle. 

The pastor took this incredibly hard . . . to the point he was debating suicide because he'd been extremely close to Gil. Meanwhile, the Bates had not a care in the world. After they left, they also left their friends behind.  In fact, they spun a story about how the church dishonored them (despite that the majority of the church was sympathetic toward them, including myself). They had been my entire world through my teenage years, so I also took the friendship split incredibly hard. I began questioning everything I believed, and eventually had to come to terms with my own faith. 

There is much that has never been spoken. The most heinous story by far (which I have not uttered until now), came from a girl who was touched inappropriately by one of the Bates' boys. When Kelly was confronted about this, she said "he takes after his father". 

They tried to reach out, years later, laughing about it . . . but I refused to reconnect with them. It has been most interesting watching them rise, while their little white church in the woods is completely forgotten and unmentioned, along with all the people who paid their bills and kept them alive up until the show's launch. 

Quoted for longevity.

Op, you should contact @Curious to get yourself verified.  Otherwise, grain of salt and all that.

 

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I am interested in what are you saying about Michaella and Erin. I think the status as the golden child of Erin is pretty obvious to anyone that follows the family. But i never got the vibe that Erin and Michaella had a feud. I mean Michaella even choose Erin as the maid of honor in her wedding. Can you tell us something more about this?

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Not sure I understand why this was merged into the Carlin and Evan thread. If the poster is verified to actually be an old friend of the Bateses, this would be pretty juicy stuff that I think would merit its own thread. I think a lot of posters who normally avoid the Bates forum would be interested in these accusations, and it would be a shame if this got buried in a Carlin and Evan thread (not sure what this even has to do with them, except that apparently the family's ill behavior at CarVan's wedding prompted @ZingerWinger to post this). Of course, if she turns out to be fake, then all of this is a moot point anyway.

(And sorry, Helpmeets/Admins, I'm definitely not trying to start a discussion on thread merging. Just thought I'd offer my perspective on why a separate thread makes sense in this case - again, if the poster turns out to be real. I promise I won't keep harping on this if you guys decide it should remain a part of the CarVan thread.)

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By the time I got up the original post was edited out and all that seemed to remain related to Carlin's wedding.  I talked to the poster and if she chooses to post again, then it can go where appropriate.  

We need a better title than being about getting verified, too.  ?

Edited by Coconut Flan
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2 hours ago, llucie said:

I am interested in what are you saying about Michaella and Erin. I think the status as the golden child of Erin is pretty obvious to anyone that follows the family. But i never got the vibe that Erin and Michaella had a feud. I mean Michaella even choose Erin as the maid of honor in her wedding. Can you tell us something more about this?

Not sure if the op is legit, but I have speculated about this before. I was rightfully rebuffed  so I'll tread lightly in what I am about to say...

Um, I don't think a lot of people like Erin including some of her siblings. Michael is diplomatic. I can see her having a Jana-Jessa music box moment when she asked Erin to be bridesmaid. Or it could have just been UPTV requiring Erin to be filmed. The key here, is that Kelly was the actual matron of honor. Michael did not choose one of her sisters for that very important role. Equally interesting is that Michael was not in Erin's wedding (who was married first and before the Bates tv heyday). That never sat well with me.

Then, there was Michael lamenting several times on air that she hates Erin beating her at things. She pouted after saying it several times. Also, she refused to take premarital advice from Erin not even to suffice tv shine.

This doesn't mean that they actually have a rift. It just gives way to speculation that things are not all happy-go-lucky-perfect-sisters.

I also wonder about Zach and Lawson's relationship. Not enough screen time of them together to get a better idea. Something seems off with them. I am resigned to believe it is just scheduling.

Edited by TatiFish9
Can't type.
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40 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

Not sure if the op is legit, but I have speculated about this before. I was rightfully rebuffed  so I'll tread lightly in what I am about to say...

Um, I don't think a lot of people like Erin including some of her siblings. Michael is diplomatic. I can see her having a Jana-Jessa music box moment when she asked Erin to be bridesmaid. Or it could have just been UPTV requiring Erin to be filmed. The key here, is that Kelly was the actual matron of honor. Michael did not choose one of her sisters for that very important role. Equally interesting is that Michael was not in Erin's wedding (who was married first and before the Bates tv heyday). That never sat well with me.

Then, there was Michael lamenting several times on air that she hates Erin beating her at things. She pouted after saying it several times. Also, she refused to take premarital advice from Erin not even to suffice tv shine.

This doesn't mean that they actually have a rift. It just gives way to speculation that things are not all happy-go-lucky-perfect-sisters.

I also wonder about Zach and Lawson's relationship. Not enough screen time of them together to get a better idea. Something seems off with them. I am resigned to believe it is just scheduling.

Actually Michaella did choose Erin as the maid of honor. Her mother was the matron of honor too.  If it was only for appearances she could have put her just as a regular bridesmaid, and as you said Erin didnt have her in her wedding party at all, so she had no obligation towards her.

Edited to add that the insider did respond to me in a direct message, so hopefully once she is verified she will post what she said here too. 

Edited by llucie
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1 minute ago, llucie said:

Actually Michaella did choose Erin as the maid of honor. Her mother was the matron of honor too.

She did???? That is odd considering Erin was already married during the wedding and Michael stated she chose Kelly. Strange family. Say one thing. Do another.

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9 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

She did???? That is odd considering Erin was already married during the wedding and Michael stated she chose Kelly. Strange family. Say one thing. Do another.

Thats why Erin and Kelly were wearing those ugly brown dresses instead of the pink ones. Maybe it was her passive-agresive way to get revenge. Sure you can be in my wedding, but you have to wear that! lol

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2 minutes ago, llucie said:

Thats why Erin and Kelly were wearing those ugly brown dresses instead of the pink ones. Maybe it was her passive-agresive way to get revenge. Sure you can be in my wedding, but you have to wear that! lol

Hahaha! Smart on Michael's end. I can no longer pretend to understand this family. They seem like such a contridiction in so many ways.

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3 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

She did???? That is odd considering Erin was already married during the wedding and Michael stated she chose Kelly. Strange family. Say one thing. Do another.

They are strange. I gave up figuring that one out. Erin was confused by the terms at Tori's wedding. These girls are raised to think of nothing other than marriage and babies. Yet they know nothing about weddings or pregnancy.

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Duggar Data seems to agree that only Kelly was the Matron of Honor.

Of course this is an older entry. Now DD can add Carlin with Tori as the two who have had more than one maid/matron.

I was trying to find the scene where Michael explains why she chose Kelly instead of one of her sisters. BUB seems to only have the newer wedding related episodes online right now.

Anyhow, that still doesn't explain the ever growing mystery of why Kelly and Erin had the same color dress. 

20190626_153317.jpg

23 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

They are strange. I gave up figuring that one out. Erin was confused by the terms at Tori's wedding. These girls are raised to think of nothing other than marriage and babies. Yet they know nothing about weddings or pregnancy.

LOL! This is hilarious. They just know to get down that aisle. All the other details are fuzzy. Erin couldn't tell the difference between maid and matron?

Edited by TatiFish9
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I dont know where DuggarData gets her sources from, but i think she mentioned in the past trusting the fundiewiki. Fundie wiki clearly stated that Erin was Michaella MOH together with Kelly.Both on her page  https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Michaela_Keilen and on the wedding page https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Guide_to_Bates_Weddings#Michael_Bates_and_Brandon_Keilen.

I have never seen the fundiewiki be wrong before. But if you are sure the info is incorrect then you should contact them so they can fix it.

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