Seewalds 41: Christian Hero Ivy Jane

[crancraz]

On 6/25/2019 at 4:28 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

In some things.  When I hemoragged with my daughter to the point of needing a transfusion it was stressed hard at the hospital what a close call that was and it was in my mind throughout my next pregnancy.  

You don’t wait for a pattern to form on things that can kill you.

Right?? I hemorrhaged at my last birth and I tell you what, it’s ALL over my chart, too cover sheet. I’m having a repeat CS on Tuesday and they are typing and crossing me ahead of time so they have units in the OR, they have meds set up....it is not something to be trifled with and I can’t imagine not being prepared for the possibility. 

[VelociRapture]

16 hours ago, Vivi_music said:

I don't know if Lauren's mother had her babies at home or in the hospital. I do hope Lauren chooses what is best for her and her baby's health. But clearly their mother's birth experiences are no indication for the Duggar daughters. ? Most of Michelle's birth were hospital births and IIRC, majority of them went without trouble (someone can correct me on that)(and of course I exclude Josie out of this).

Didn’t the family return to Georgia (or whichever state they’re originally from) so her mother could give birth with her normal Doctor? I could have sworn they went back for that reason right before Duke was born in February 2018. 

[VelociRapture]

4 minutes ago, crancraz said:

Right?? I hemorrhaged at my last birth and I tell you what, it’s ALL over my chart, too cover sheet. I’m having a repeat CS on Tuesday and they are typing and crossing me ahead of time so they have units in the OR, they have meds set up....it is not something to be trifled with and I can’t imagine not being prepared for the possibility. 

Here’s hoping everything goes even better than planned and that you enjoy an easy and quick recovery! Best wishes to you and your family!  

[crancraz]

30 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Here’s hoping everything goes even better than planned and that you enjoy an easy and quick recovery! Best wishes to you and your family!  

Thank you so much. It’s been a very hard pregnancy. Aug 2017 I had an early stillbirth and exactly a year later, a loss at 16 weeks. Plus three early miscarriages in between them. It’s been a really emotionally difficult pregnancy and I have a lot of PTSD around these last two years plus the birth of my last daughter. I will be so glad when this is over with a healthy, live baby and me, also healthy and alive. 

Also, wishing you a healthy and smooth pregnancy. 

[xenobia]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

Didn’t the family return to Georgia (or whichever state they’re originally from) so her mother could give birth with her normal Doctor? I could have sworn they went back for that reason right before Duke was born in February 2018. 

Yes they did. They also talk about her going to the hospital to have the baby.

It's around 3.17.30 and forward in this (whole season) 

 

[Carm_88]

There are flaws in most medical systems. There will often be people who fall through the cracks. In Canada, it's definitely the mental health aspect and some of that is shagging around with private insurance. I had a family member who had to travel elsewhere to have a diagnosis confirmed for the 8th time, (5 psychologists, 2 psychiatrists), to get her insurance company to cover their prescriptions. 

I personally have never had issues and have the highest standards of care when I needed it. That is not everyone's experience and I would not say that they are wrong. In general, I think from my perspective with medicine in Canada, we have to hire ore nurses and have more doctors go into general practice. We need to pull together and make our system better instead of saying "Oh we have it pretty good." Being ok with the status quo can work for a while, but striving for better, is always appreciated. 

Safe deliveries to all those who are pregnant and good health to those who are not!  

[SassyPants]

Based on her pallor in her post birth photos, I do think Jessa bleeds excessively post childbirth. In OB, we were always warned that red heads bleed more readily (obviously JLS is not a red head)...I remember that Jessa looked deathly pale after SES’s birth, and she also looked pale in that recent YOUTube video,

Edited June 28, 2019 by SassyPants

[nvmbr02]

12 hours ago, BabyFactoryClosing said:

Just watched the episode. I am always ceaselessly amazed by women who birth with a little grunting and a few tears. With the two offspring I labored with I was literally having severe hallucinations from pain and (from what I'm told) begging anyone in ear shot to please kill me and make it end. I've broken my back and not cried but contractions were like being on fire. Apparently I'm broken XD

I think how much noise a woman makes can depend on so many different factors. I had an epidural with my oldest, so it is hard to compare the labor/birth with her to my older two but with my younger two I had completely med free deliveries. With my middle child I hardly made a sound, besides answering questions or making a request to someone. With both that labor and the one with my oldest I pretty much just wanted to be alone as much as possible, did a lot of pacing, rocking and squatting (until I had the epi with my first). The most sound I made with the middle child was saying "Oh, ow! That hurts!" when he was crowning. With my youngest however I was very loud once I hit transition. I just couldn't get myself to relax or get into any type of rhythm. It was just off. Things just didn't go as easily and I have no idea why, except perhaps the way baby was position and just an overall feeling of stress. 

[CarrotCake]

16 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Didn’t the family return to Georgia (or whichever state they’re originally from) so her mother could give birth with her normal Doctor? I could have sworn they went back for that reason right before Duke was born in February 2018. 

That sounds at least like Lauren comes from a family that takes (pre)natal care seriously.

Let's hope that influence is bigger than her sister-in-laws.

[frugalitymom]

Seeing Grandma Duggar holding Ivy Jane was bitter sweet. 

[JustEnough]

On 6/27/2019 at 10:48 PM, SassyPants said:

Based on her pallor in her post birth photos, I do think Jessa bleeds excessively post childbirth. In OB, we were always warned that red heads bleed more readily (obviously JLS is not a red head)...I remember that Jessa looked deathly pale after SES’s birth, and she also looked pale in that recent YOUTube video,

My Gramma was terrified of how I looked after birth #1 and immediately set to making me ALL THE THINGS with iron and/or vitamin C (which aids absorption of iron) in them. She'd hemorrhaged badly both after her births (with her first birth they wouldn't let her see her baby for over a day because of it and she wasn't allowed to even have a pillow because they wanted her totally flat, and with her last birth the doctor actually stopped practicing as a doctor immediately after because he came so close to losing them both and as an older doctor felt he couldn't do it anymore), and also because of chronic stomach ulcers. She said she was hoping that medical advancements would mean I (and all other mothers) wouldn't have to go through that anymore when birthing in the hospital. Birth is a natural part of life, but part of that nature is that mothers and babies are at risk, some more than others, of bad things happening.

I had a hemorrhage after my 2nd birth as well and that one nearly killed me several hours after the birth. My first hemmorhage was caused by an overzealous resident not following standard of care with the third stage of delivery so it was hoped/felt by my care providers I would be unlikely to bleed so much again, and unfortunately I did, and much worse than the first time. I can barely look at the pictures from early days after because along with adorable baby human there is ghostly pale, looks like death Mama.

My third birth was my best birth in many ways but the best for me was that as soon as baby was out I was aggressively and proactively managed and even though I showed the first signs of heavy bleeding the management kept me from another PPH. I felt so so much better after that birth and I am grateful to the hospital team I had.

PPH is still a leading killer of Moms and it's no joke. I honestly can't imagine birthing with a care provider who couldn't provide at the very least pitocin even if I had never had a bleed and was considered low risk. Are CPMs allowed to carry it in Arkansas? I really hope Jessa births any future babies where she can get a proper standard of care.

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

Re: the noise during labor

I have shared about my last labor/birth and how bad it went. I know I have a very low pain tolerance and made this known (though it was not listened to). I screamed during one of the contractions or pushing or whatever because it was so painful and my brain did not know what else to do. The midwife got in my face and told me not to scream again because it would hurt the baby. I have never looked this up for fear of what I might find, but I hardly understand anyway that could be true. The sound anyway. If I was clenching or something then I would understand. Ugh over a year later and I still cannot deal with thinking about any of this. I don't know how Jessa can put herself in such a dangerous position, have such a hard time, and then go do it again with the same correctable risk factors. 

[Casserole]

2 hours ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

Re: the noise during labor

I have shared about my last labor/birth and how bad it went. I know I have a very low pain tolerance and made this known (though it was not listened to). I screamed during one of the contractions or pushing or whatever because it was so painful and my brain did not know what else to do. The midwife got in my face and told me not to scream again because it would hurt the baby. I have never looked this up for fear of what I might find, but I hardly understand anyway that could be true. The sound anyway. If I was clenching or something then I would understand. Ugh over a year later and I still cannot deal with thinking about any of this. I don't know how Jessa can put herself in such a dangerous position, have such a hard time, and then go do it again with the same correctable risk factors. 

I call BS (though don't blame you for following instructions in a very vulnerable and scary situation such as labor.) The only thing I could think of is if that scream spiked your blood pressure or something else that could effect the baby's vitals? 

Look into polyvagal theory. An open throat (as it is during screaming/moaning/yelling) is an open birth canal. Make all the noise you need to. It's mammalian instinct. If noise hurt the baby, we wouldn't be continuing on as a species. Even I have an occasional horrid menstrual cramp (thanks paraguard) that I physically have to make noise during to negate the pain. Your body knows what it's doing. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On 6/27/2019 at 9:11 AM, BabyFactoryClosing said:

Just watched the episode. I am always ceaselessly amazed by women who birth with a little grunting and a few tears. With the two offspring I labored with I was literally having severe hallucinations from pain and (from what I'm told) begging anyone in ear shot to please kill me and make it end. I've broken my back and not cried but contractions were like being on fire. Apparently I'm broken XD

Not broken.  You just don’t have an editor cutting your birth scene for you.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Screaming can be counter productive during labor, and prolong it. The breathing that Jessa does during her labors, and that lip think Joy was doing can help focus the pain, that is what the breathing techniques they teach in most childbirth classes are. I had to look this up but I'm pretty sure the Duggar's use the Bradly prenatal birthing classes, this is a high focus on drug free natural births, and deep purposeful breathing, that fits with all that moaning and guttural breaths Jessa was doing.  I remember from my 22 hours of pitcon induced labor that the focus and deep breathing really did help focus the pain.  I did fairly well with only about 4 hours of pain relief in that time, until after I'd been pushing for 4 hours and I hit the was of complete exhaustion.  At the end before they finally got my lazy ass doctor in their to do a c/section, I flipped my shit, I tore the blood pressure cuff off my arm and said "I"M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS" and shortly after that screamed if someone doesn't shut that GODDAMN PHONE OFF I'M SHOVING IT UP SOMEONES ASS".  That finally got the attention of a nurse who knew what she was doing and literally cussed the doctor out and reported his ass for being an asshole. 

He came sauntering into the delivery room and said "since I was behaving like a spoiled brat in need of a nap he'd do a c/section" Never mind that I hadn't slept in almost 36 hours and had been contracting on pit for over 22 hours and pushing for 4 of them, while he sat at home stuffing his face on Thanksgiving dinner. The charge nurse came in and took charge, she called and made him come in and when he acted like dr Dickhead, she grabbed him by his shirt collar (literally)  and this is where she cussed him out.  

TL;DR giving birth is the most painful thing anyone can endure, yet we still do it, don't beat yourself up if you scream and cry and want to give up. IT FUCKING HURTS!

 

[Iamtheway]

On 6/29/2019 at 4:56 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Not broken.  You just don’t have an editor cutting your birth scene for you.

I think I could have cut down the noise and the swearing if I was being filmed. But I got so hot during labour that I spent quite a bit of it completly naked ... 

[Silas]

I remember reading a Facebook post of a woman who said she hated other women who screamed during labor because it distracted her during her own breathing. Just...no words. I screamed. Sue me. I do remember when I first got admitted though I heard another woman screaming and it scared the crap out of me. Whew, the amount of dread that filled my body hearing that poor woman and knowing my turn was soon. Lets just sound proof hospital rooms and call it a day. ?

My sister had a nurse who told her not to curse just as she was about to push. It's an extremely good thing that didn't happen to me.

 

[twoandthrough]

On 6/29/2019 at 1:25 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Screaming can be counter productive during labor, and prolong it. The breathing that Jessa does during her labors, and that lip think Joy was doing can help focus the pain, that is what the breathing techniques they teach in most childbirth classes are. I had to look this up but I'm pretty sure the Duggar's use the Bradly prenatal birthing classes, this is a high focus on drug free natural births, and deep purposeful breathing, that fits with all that moaning and guttural breaths Jessa was doing.  I remember from my 22 hours of pitcon induced labor that the focus and deep breathing really did help focus the pain.  I did fairly well with only about 4 hours of pain relief in that time, until after I'd been pushing for 4 hours and I hit the was of complete exhaustion.  At the end before they finally got my lazy ass doctor in their to do a c/section, I flipped my shit, I tore the blood pressure cuff off my arm and said "I"M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS" and shortly after that screamed if someone doesn't shut that GODDAMN PHONE OFF I'M SHOVING IT UP SOMEONES ASS".  That finally got the attention of a nurse who knew what she was doing and literally cussed the doctor out and reported his ass for being an asshole. 

He came sauntering into the delivery room and said "since I was behaving like a spoiled brat in need of a nap he'd do a c/section" Never mind that I hadn't slept in almost 36 hours and had been contracting on pit for over 22 hours and pushing for 4 of them, while he sat at home stuffing his face on Thanksgiving dinner. The charge nurse came in and took charge, she called and made him come in and when he acted like dr Dickhead, she grabbed him by his shirt collar (literally)  and this is where she cussed him out.  

TL;DR giving birth is the most painful thing anyone can endure, yet we still do it, don't beat yourself up if you scream and cry and want to give up. IT FUCKING HURTS!

 

L&D nurses are literal angels. They are saints. 

[Daisy0322]

Seems like you should just do what comes natural in labor, I had most of the lights off and just wanted it silent so I could be calm and focus. But that's not how I expected to be at all. I did end up with a c section butvthats because my BP bottomed out and my heart rythm was abnormal 

[feministxtian]

I discovered that saying FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK with every push helped immensely. 

[VelociRapture]

I was that patient who was incredibly polite the entire time. I remember an ICU Nurse my brother had after his transplant surgery mentioning once how nice it was to have a patient who was as polite and friendly as he was. A lot of ICU patients are scared and in pain and that can make it tough for them to be nice to the medical staff. This Nurse understood that completely, but she was still grateful for the break my brother offered from all that. That stuck with me and I’ve been really polite and nice to Nurses ever since because I know it can be a really tough job.* I also joked with my Nurses and Doctor almost the entire time. Even when I was violently sick when I was first admitted and before they got me hooked up with anti-nausea meds. I didn’t stop joking around until the last 30 minutes when I was just exhausted and starting to get scared. I was right back to joking after she was born and we got over the initial shock and emotions and our daughter was taken to NICU though. I giggled and laughed my way through most of my wedding ceremony too, so I’m just not a very serious person.

The Nurses had such a great time with us that they told me to come back and have another anytime I wanted. ?

*No judgement for how others react in labor or how they choose to treat legitimately bad Medical personnel.

[fluffernutter]

I remember with kid #2 I wanted the epidural but there was a long delay due to another emergency. I pulled the nurse close to me and begged her to hit me over the head with a frying pan. The kicker? I was a freaking DOULA. ? My coping skills I thought I had flew right out the window when they started pit to get labor moving. I did go on to have an unmedicated birth with kid #3. I moaned my way through that labor. Whole lotta moaning. 

[Sullie06]

I'm not a screamer personally, I did a fair amount of crying though with my first. 19 hours of pitocin labor and then 40 minutes of pushing I had enough. My daughter was a scheduled cesearean due to a placental complication, that was a weird experience for me because I literally just strolled in there to have a baby, no labor, no pain, no contractions and a couple hours later here she was. 

[feministxtian]

15 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

No judgement for how others react in labor or how they choose to treat legitimately bad Medical personnel.

Hub's last hospitalization was a nightmare. I went off on all sorts of medical personnel...mostly because they were incompetent and didn't know how to treat his other medical conditions like the lack of pancreas and diabetes. Fortunately, their incompetence is all documented and my attorney has those documents. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

14 hours ago, Sullie06 said:

I'm not a screamer personally, I did a fair amount of crying though with my first. 19 hours of pitocin labor and then 40 minutes of pushing I had enough. My daughter was a scheduled cesearean due to a placental complication, that was a weird experience for me because I literally just strolled in there to have a baby, no labor, no pain, no contractions and a couple hours later here she was. 

#2 was a scheduled C/section, my ob figured if I couldn't push an 8 lb baby out, I wasn't going to be able to push 9+ lb baby out. I was OK with that, it made things easier for dealing with #1 ds he was with gma & gpa being spoiled and having a good time, while I was having little sister. Though I had gone into labor when I went to check in for my c/section. Since I was laboring they gave me the option of laboring or the c/section, I was like um ok then my doctor came in and reminded me of the cluster fuck of my 1st birth and I was like, yep lets go. I loved my OB he knew what he was doing, and he didn't sugar coat anything, plus he was funny as hell.  The difference between #1 and #2 I looked good in the photos after #2 was born, AND I was well rested, and chasing after #1 10 days later with out any problems. 

DS was born at 36 weeks weighing 8 lbs (no they didn't miscalculate my due date) DD was born at 38 weeks 3 days and weighed 9 lbs 2 oz. 

Edited July 2, 2019 by allthegoodnamesrgone