Seewalds 41: Christian Hero Ivy Jane

[Smee]

12 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

This is why we refuse to share our picks before our babies arrive.

 The way I look at it though she had her chance to name three boys, now it’s our turn, and she doesn’t get to have a say in it. If she doesn’t like what our choice eventually is then she can just suck it up and deal with it.

Are you me? I’m pretty sure I said those exact words when my mother kept trying to use a nickname for #3 (who was like 2 months old) that we had explicitly said we wouldn’t be using. 

When I was pregnant with #1 MIL told us how much she hated the name David, for similarly spurious reasoning as your MIL. When I was pregnant with baby #2 we referred to the pregnancy as “baby Dave” exclusively because I’m passive-aggressive like that. Then we had a girl and several friends thought we were shocked and scrambling to come up with a name because they’d been expecting little David.

 

Also, either personality and gender are not strongly connected, or one of my kids is non-binary/agender/something else, because I’ve got 3 kids and 3 very different personalities.

[VelociRapture]

5 hours ago, Smee said:

Are you me? I’m pretty sure I said those exact words when my mother kept trying to use a nickname for #3 (who was like 2 months old) that we had explicitly said we wouldn’t be using. 

When I was pregnant with #1 MIL told us how much she hated the name David, for similarly spurious reasoning as your MIL. When I was pregnant with baby #2 we referred to the pregnancy as “baby Dave” exclusively because I’m passive-aggressive like that. Then we had a girl and several friends thought we were shocked and scrambling to come up with a name because they’d been expecting little David.

 

Also, either personality and gender are not strongly connected, or one of my kids is non-binary/agender/something else, because I’ve got 3 kids and 3 very different personalities.

Is it bad my only takeaway from this is that I should start jokingly referring to the baby as “Baby Danny” from now on? ?

I honestly love my MIL very much most of the time. Part of the issue is definitely pregnancy hormones making me slightly more sensitive to everything right now, which is why I try to joke a lot of it off. But my husband agrees there’s definitely been a bit too much pushing of our personal boundaries as parents lately, especially since she welcomed her parents back into her life (whole other story.) So its a delicate balance trying to stay reasonable, but firm with her at the moment. 

[Daisy0322]

We always tell everyone the name after we are fairly sure or when we are down to two names. My aunt told she didn't like our sons name and I told her it was okay she didn't have to like it we did as politely as I could manage lol since then no one tells us if they don't like a name. 

[Iamtheway]

You should never tell people the name before the baby is born. They just take it as an invitation to have opinions. Once there is an actual person presented with the name people are usually nicer about it. 

My mum thought Miniway’s name was horrible and was not afraid to say so. ”I have to be able to voice my opinion.” 

No! Actually you have to shut up if you have nothing nice to say. There is no need to tell the parents that just spent nine months and ten days agreeing on one name that that name is crap. She says she’s ”used to it” now and doesn’t mind it as much. I still don’t care. 

[lizzybee]

We have discussed/joked about southern people liking to use family names for their children and I revealed that I - a southern person - have named my children surnames from our relatives. Out of their four names (two a piece) none of them aren't named after someone. I think that has exempted me from people's comments to the negative thus far. I have a list of potential names for future children that are all family names (that's our thing now). If someone doesn't like the name, they can take it up with one of their relatives. 

[seashell1025]

Anyone watch jessa's counting now about Ivy? I'm currently working on it. a lot of the first part at least was filmed and/or narrated by Jill because she was there and pretty much everyone else was out of town (Bates wedding? the weekends blend together for me.lol) It's weird seeing her on camera again and also a little awkward. oh boy. 

[louisa05]

My aunt and uncle have refused for 25 years to call their oldest grandchild by his name. Their daughter is Native American (adopted) and the son's father is African-American. They decided the name is too ethnic (to put it politely). They originally tried to call him by a shortened version of his middle name. That didn't work. So they have called him by his first initial for most of his life. There was a brief period when they had to say his name as his younger brother would get confused as a toddler about who they were talking about or to when they used the initial--younger brother only knew his brother's actual name. But when the second one got older, they went back to the initial. 

It's so wrong. And I've wanted to just slap them over it for 25 years now. We very intentionally say his name around them even though he is used to being called by the initial by a lot of the extended family. He goes by his full name in every other situation. 

[VBOY9977]

8 minutes ago, seashell1025 said:

Anyone watch jessa's counting now about Ivy? I'm currently working on it. a lot of the first part at least was filmed and/or narrated by Jill because she was there and pretty much everyone else was out of town (Bates wedding? the weekends blend together for me.lol) It's weird seeing her on camera again and also a little awkward. oh boy. 

I thought it didn’t come out until the 25th... 

Can you do a small recap if it isn’t too much trouble?

[VelociRapture]

9 minutes ago, seashell1025 said:

Anyone watch jessa's counting now about Ivy? I'm currently working on it. a lot of the first part at least was filmed and/or narrated by Jill because she was there and pretty much everyone else was out of town (Bates wedding? the weekends blend together for me.lol) It's weird seeing her on camera again and also a little awkward. oh boy. 

Yes, Ivy was born the same weekend that Carlin Bates married Fundie Zoolander (aka Evan Stewart.) Carlin got married on Saturday the 25th and Ivy arrived on Sunday the 26th  (I believe), which coincidentally was Grandma Mary’s birthday. I think Ivy was also born on Joy and Austin’s second anniversary as well. 

[Jinder Roles]

I admit I have a very strong preference towards girls. I think it’s because I’ve always wanted a sister. Two baby girls would be my dream. 

I don’t really believe in gender roles but I think because of society, there are differences in raising boys and girls. I think I would understand the struggle of being female (especially black) more. 

I guess I’m scared of how to raise a little black boy (especially if I live in a country where we’d be a minority). Also trying to prevent him from inhaling toxic masculinity, misogynoir and other stuff would be a task. And tbh, I just relate to girls better. 

The good thing is I’ve had a lot of positive male influences in my life (shout out to my dad), so I know it can be done. 

With all that said, I think the most important thing is to pick a good father for my kids (whatever gender they choose) and make sure that I’m a good mother. 

[seashell1025]

It came out today! Here's a summary for everyone who wants to save 20 minutes of their day!

 

Spoiler

 

We start off with Jessa telling everyone that she had finished drinking her smoothie for breakfast on the 25th and her water broke right there in the kitchen.  

Enter Jill who comes to the rescue to help out since Michelle and Jana and everyone else is away for the weekend. 

Ben's mom watches Henry and Spurge because they had planned on doing a birth at the hospital if I am remembering correctly with their Midwife but she (midwife) had just gone out of town that day, so they opted for a home birth and called a different midwife. Thankfully, Jill did not do the midwifery.  She was our narrator.  

Jessa makes a castor oil strawberry smoothie. gross.  Jill says it has no taste, Jessa disagrees and says it's nasty. Jill and Jessa go to the Big House to walk the stairway to kickstart labor. Eventually it does and they go back to Ben and Jessa's house.  

Josiah and Lauren and Michelle and Jana make a quick getaway via plane to hopefully make it to the birth in time. they didnt, spoiler alert.

*insert some awkward Jill banter here* 

Only a few hours of actual labor happen and next thing you know Ivy Jane is here! Insert tears of Joy here.  Everyone sees the baby and holds her.  

Jessa's bleeding didn't stop again, however this time since they knew she has had a history of this, Ben makes the final decision to call 911 earlier than before.  She is shipped to the hospital via ambulance. She did not need a Blood Transfusion this time and the Pitocin IV they gave her stopped the bleeding. She only had to stay one night. 

Ben's family and Spurgeon and Henry meet baby Ivy for the first time, and then Michelle and Jana and Josiah/Lauren arrive to see the baby and hear her name for the first time.   Ben & Jessa announce to Jordyn and Jer i believe it was the sex and name of the baby via skype on the Duggar's RV/bus. They go out to the rest of the RV and announce it to everyone. Hooray! a girl! 

Then the whole family comes to the Seewald home as per usual and meets Ivy Jane for the first time. Grandma duggar gets to hold ivy the first time since she is her birthday buddy.

JB- cant believe my little girl has a little girl... you know, me and momma started off with two boys and then a girl... 

some musical outro with interviews with the married couples who are pregnant. Family photo. yay! a family of 5. how sweet. 

There ya go! 

 

 

Edited June 19, 2019 by seashell1025
Spoiler added

[VelociRapture]

16 minutes ago, seashell1025 said:

It came out today! Here's a summary for everyone who wants to save 20 minutes of their day!

 

  Hide contents

 

We start off with Jessa telling everyone that she had finished drinking her smoothie for breakfast on the 25th and her water broke right there in the kitchen.  

Enter Jill who comes to the rescue to help out since Michelle and Jana and everyone else is away for the weekend. 

Ben's mom watches Henry and Spurge because they had planned on doing a birth at the hospital if I am remembering correctly with their Midwife but she (midwife) had just gone out of town that day, so they opted for a home birth and called a different midwife. Thankfully, Jill did not do the midwifery.  She was our narrator.  

Jessa makes a castor oil strawberry smoothie. gross.  Jill says it has no taste, Jessa disagrees and says it's nasty. Jill and Jessa go to the Big House to walk the stairway to kickstart labor. Eventually it does and they go back to Ben and Jessa's house.  

Josiah and Lauren and Michelle and Jana make a quick getaway via plane to hopefully make it to the birth in time. they didnt, spoiler alert.

*insert some awkward Jill banter here* 

Only a few hours of actual labor happen and next thing you know Ivy Jane is here! Insert tears of Joy here.  Everyone sees the baby and holds her.  

Jessa's bleeding didn't stop again, however this time since they knew she has had a history of this, Ben makes the final decision to call 911 earlier than before.  She is shipped to the hospital via ambulance. She did not need a Blood Transfusion this time and the Pitocin IV they gave her stopped the bleeding. She only had to stay one night. 

Ben's family and Spurgeon and Henry meet baby Ivy for the first time, and then Michelle and Jana and Josiah/Lauren arrive to see the baby and hear her name for the first time.   Ben & Jessa announce to Jordyn and Jer i believe it was the sex and name of the baby via skype on the Duggar's RV/bus. They go out to the rest of the RV and announce it to everyone. Hooray! a girl! 

Then the whole family comes to the Seewald home as per usual and meets Ivy Jane for the first time. Grandma duggar gets to hold ivy the first time since she is her birthday buddy.

JB- cant believe my little girl has a little girl... you know, me and momma started off with two boys and then a girl... 

some musical outro with interviews with the married couples who are pregnant. Family photo. yay! a family of 5. how sweet. 

There ya go! 

 

 

At the very least Ben was smart enough to call 911 when it became clear there was an issue. I kind of find myself doubting the whole “we planned a hospital birth bit,” though. Don’t really know why, but I do.

And the Duggars are still using castor oil? Color me shocked that they’d do something that really isn’t a good idea. ?

[Satan'sFortress]

33 minutes ago, seashell1025 said:

JB- cant believe my little girl has a little girl... you know, me and momma started off with two boys and then a girl... 

Thanks for the recap!

Is JB referring to Michelle's miscarriage as their second boy?  They didn't really know the sex of the baby---so it seems weird to me to avow so specifically that it was two boys and then a girl, with the implication that Jessa is on the same pattern as they were?

Michelle in an interview reported in The Daily Mail in2011:

Quote

She said: 'We named that baby Caleb even though we didn't know if it was a boy or girl because that miscarriage was early.

 

[SassyPants]

Did JB really say he started out with 2 sons? Are they counting J’Caleb? Wasn't Jana born first, and at the very least, the exact same age as JD?

Also, I don’t believe for a second that the Seewalds were planning on a hospital birth. Thou shall not lie...or does their flavor of Christianity not believe in the 10 commandments?

30 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

At the very least Ben was smart enough to call 911 when it became clear there was an issue. I kind of find myself doubting the whole “we planned a hospital birth bit,” though. Don’t really know why, but I do.

And the Duggars are still using castor oil? Color me shocked that they’d do something that really isn’t a good idea. ?

I hope from here on out they DO PLAN on hospital births.

[seashell1025]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

Did JB really say he started out with 2 sons? Are they counting J’Caleb? Wasn't Jana born first, and at the very least, the exact same age as JD?

You know, I'm really not sure. I guess i assumed he meant Josh, John david then Jana and thought that he had done a terrible job of remembering his children's birth order (Lol) But that interests me now if he was referring to the miscarriage. hm. who knows  honestly!

[VelociRapture]

12 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Thanks for the recap!

Is JB referring to Michelle's miscarriage as their second boy?  They didn't really know the sex of the baby---so it seems weird to me to avow so specifically that it was two boys and then a girl, with the implication that Jessa is on the same pattern as they were?

Michelle in an interview reported in The Daily Mail in2011:

 

I think it’s pretty clear he’s referring to Josh, Jana, and John. The way it’s worded is a bit odd, but that’s only because Jana is a few minutes older than John. It wouldn’t have made much sense to word it by birth order though.

ETA: I don’t think he’s saying they’re on the same pattern as her parents were. Just that he and Michelle can somewhat relate to having just three kids that are divided between the sexes as two boys and one girl. 

Edited June 19, 2019 by VelociRapture

[BlondeIdol]

I don’t buy that they were planning a hospital birth. Midwife was out of town? So? Go to the hospital anyway! 

Jimbobby has always gotten his children and their birth orders confused. I am certain he meant Josh/Jana/JD.

 

[VelociRapture]

It was a bit weird to see and hear Jill after she’s been off the show so long. I do think she did a pretty decent job though, especially angling the camera and positioning herself to offer Jessa a bit of privacy while pushing. And it seems like Jill was there more as a genuine support than as a Midwife, which is even better. 

I think the Midwife present was Teresa Fedosky. She’s the only “Teresa” listed on the Midwife registry for Arkansas. If I’m right then I’m definitely calling bullshit on their “other Midwife” story as I’m pretty sure they’ve used her for past births. 

ETA; I’ll also say that it appears Jill didn’t hesitate to mention 911 either. Ben mentions something about going to get checked out, by which I assume he means going to the hospital, but Jill seemed to agree with him pretty quickly and specifically mentioned they should call 911. 

I do like that Jer and Jordyn got to announce the sex and name (respectively) to the rest of the family. That’s a nice way to make part of her buddy group feel included (I think Jer was one of Jessa’s buddies at least.) And I appreciated Jordyn’s rendition of James’ joke about how he didn’t hold the baby because he’s “allergic.” She was kind of adorable when she told it. 

Edited June 19, 2019 by VelociRapture

[Rachel333]

I didn't realize Teresa Fedosky was a midwife now. For years she was a doula (hence the FJ title "doula for destiny") acting as a midwife, and in 2013 she was denied a license.  It does appear that she is indeed a midwife now, though.

Edited June 19, 2019 by Rachel333

[VelociRapture]

10 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

I didn't realize Teresa Fedosky was a midwife now. For years she was a doula (hence the FJ title "doula for destiny") acting as a midwife, and in 2013 she was denied a license.  It does appear that she is indeed a midwife now, though.

Yep. With three apprentice Midwives listed under her. Rufus help any woman who opts to train with her or utilize her services. 

[meee]

Is this three for three now? I remember she had to transfer to the hospital with Spurgeon, but I thought Henry was a smooth uncomplicated homebirth?

I'm glad they called 911 at least, but I agree, she ought to have hospital births from now on.

[VelociRapture]

8 minutes ago, meee said:

Is this three for three now? I remember she had to transfer to the hospital with Spurgeon, but I thought Henry was a smooth uncomplicated homebirth?

I'm glad they called 911 at least, but I agree, she ought to have hospital births from now on.

With Spurgeon, Jessa required transport and a blood transfusion. 

Henry was an uncomplicated home birth.

Ivy Jane was her second home birth requiring transport to the Hospital. No transfusion was needed this time as the medication (I think pitocin) worked fine. 

So two out of three had bleeding complications. That would probably be a sign to most people that future home births might not be advisable, but we’ll see if the Seewalds actually learn anything from this. 

Edited June 19, 2019 by VelociRapture

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Pretty sure that was just JB trying make this about him. 

As for Jill, she seemed to be very helpful with Jessa, I'm wondeing if they didn't call the Dillard's over to 1 have Jill keep Jess company and to have Derrick take Spurgeon and Henry until Ben's mom got there. There were no little boys running around their house or TTH. I'm not sure if Jabbie and Smugger went to the wedding as well, I didn't see them in photos, but that doesn't mean anything, I also wondered if Jill didn't stay behind, just in case, so there was at least 1 Duggar sister there to help Jess out. 

[AtlanticTug]

You would hope that they'd learn something but odds are stacked against that happening.

I also just don't understand why at this point a hospital or birthing center birth wouldn't be automatic for a woman who could have bled our 2/3 times she has given birth. The last thing I would want to do with a newborn is have to call an ambulance and be transported to a hospital and stay for who knows how long. It's also just typically selfish of fundies - tying up emergency response teams when a little foresight could have avoided it all. 

Stupid and reckless, par for the course.

[metheglyn]

I haven't yet had a chance to see the episode since I'm currently at work, but the Lily and Ellie blog recap quotes Jessa as saying: ' "Our birth plan through this whole pregnancy was that we would deliver at a birthing suite at the hospital with a midwife there, however, the morning that my water broke was the morning that my midwife had left town for a week," explains Jessa. "So our backup plan was to call another midwife and do a home birth." '

Maybe they actually planned to use a hospital midwife and *she* was out of town? Or maybe they are in fact fibbing/twisting the truth? Who knows.

But this sounds kind of like what Anna did that time that she meant to deliver at the hospital and her OB/GYN was out of town so she delivered at home herself. I don't understand this logic though. Many women just go to the hospital and have whoever is available at their delivery so that they have immediate care available. Why is a home birth (especially when you have a history of problems) better than getting assistance from someone else at the hospital, when it may well lead to having to be transported later and then seeing whatever doctor is available anyway?