Lori 67: Stop reading - it'll give you ideas

[Sarah92]

Base on the link posted below, I declare this man a poverty Olympics liar and he's immediately disqualified. He'd have to living in extremely substandard housing or homeless for this to make any sense. https://www.rentcafe.com/average-rent-market-trends/us/ny/manhattan/

[dairyfreelife]

12 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Base on the link posted below, I declare this man a poverty Olympics liar and he's immediately disqualified. He'd have to living in extremely substandard housing or homeless for this to make any sense. https://www.rentcafe.com/average-rent-market-trends/us/ny/manhattan/

Spoiler

 

[Loveday]

Well, giving up that Disney cruise is always the first thing I do when I need to tighten the belt a little... 

 

Honestly, do some of these women NEVER think something through for themselves?

Quote

 I have an honest question that I’m hoping you can answer. Is it Biblical/ok for women to be members of groups such as historical societies?

[onemama]

23 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Honestly, do some of these women NEVER think something through for themselves?

Apparently not. 

I wonder if this is the reason why anyone who posts something they disagree with is immediately labelled "a false teacher".  It seems like anyone who publishes his or her thoughts is considered a teacher. 

[AliceInFundyland]

5 people in NYC on $900/month with one income.

Wtf.

I cannot even make up a scenario in which that's possible. So...they have millions in savings. They miraculously don't pay rent or any sort of coop/housing fee. Utilities and food alone would kill that.

 

[louisa05]

4 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

5 people in NYC on $900/month with one income.

Wtf.

I cannot even make up a scenario in which that's possible. So...they have millions in savings. They miraculously don't pay rent or any sort of coop/housing fee. Utilities and food alone would kill that.

 

You couldn't even do that in the rural Midwest. 

I picked some random smaller towns in Nebraska and looked up rent for 2 BR homes or apartments. That will run between $750 and 1100. Never mind utilities, food, transportation, etc... and clothing those kids. 

 

[Maggie Mae]

Maybe he meant to say $900/week?  That's 3600 a month, which is still going to be difficult in most places, but it's at least livable. 

I've never been on a Disney Cruise. I have no desire to go on a Disney anything, but I'm still not able to just not work and support a family on nothing. 

[louisa05]

6 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Maybe he meant to say $900/week?  That's 3600 a month, which is still going to be difficult in most places, but it's at least livable. 

I've never been on a Disney Cruise. I have no desire to go on a Disney anything, but I'm still not able to just not work and support a family on nothing. 

My income pays for television and internet, my cell phone, electricity, trash service and all of our food and necessary items like laundry detergent, soap, shampoo, toilet paper, etc...plus my clothes, shoes, and personal items. 

We've never been or wanted to go on a cruise of any kind at all. We have no desire to go to Disney. Our vacations are usually four days at a destination within one day's drive. I like shoes but it has never crossed my mind to buy some every weekend. And we eat out once a week. Sometimes twice. But twice is rare. If there is a second time, it is usually a fast food breakfast after church which is super cheap. 

I'm so sick of the way these assholes stereotype two income couples. It's ridiculous bullshit and the fact that they lie to do it, too, makes it even more disgusting. 

[Sarah92]

40 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

You couldn't even do that in the rural Midwest. 

I picked some random smaller towns in Nebraska and looked up rent for 2 BR homes or apartments. That will run between $750 and 1100. Never mind utilities, food, transportation, etc... and clothing those kids. 

 

My rent is $550 for a two bedroom, 1.5 bathroom townhouse. But that doesn't cover utilities. So rent, plus utility, and wifi is creeping into the 800-900 range. It's higher in winter because of heat. Plus car payment, groceries, gas, and other minor expenses. 

[AuntKrazy]

So what if a woman works to afford a cruise or shoes or car or luxuries?  There still is nothing in Scripture against a woman working.  And there is also nothing wrong with enjoying the fruit of one's labor.  Just like there is nothing wrong with choosing a different way of life. 

I will admit that I struggle with the wife of one's of my husband's friends because she has never had a job, nor did she go to school.  But my struggle with her isn't about either of those things, it's that she is so incredibly needy and co-dependent that I don't know how to relate to her at all.

Another friend-of-my-husband's wife is a stay at home mom, but she is well-read, independent, and healthy.  When we get together we stay up half the night talking about all manner of things and laughing like a couple of teenage girls.  I think many of the women in fundie circles experience a lack of respect/criticism from people outside patriarchy because those women have embraced an infantilized identity. In such situations,  working outside the home is seen as a positive, and often necessary, first step toward differentiation/agency/independence.  It's not the role that we object to at all, but rather the lack of individual identity.

 

Edited June 4, 2019 by AuntKrazy
grammar

[Maggie Mae]

25 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

My rent is $550 for a two bedroom, 1.5 bathroom townhouse. But that doesn't cover utilities. So rent, plus utility, and wifi is creeping into the 800-900 range. It's higher in winter because of heat. Plus car payment, groceries, gas, and other minor expenses. 

Holy mother of god that's cheap. 

[Briefly]

10 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

My heart aches for you and crying over your story. 

I had a great friend in school that almost died our senior year from an asthma attack. Sadly, he did succumb to asthma in 2000. He had a major attack and couldn't get to the hospital in time. He was 25 when he died. 

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.  I have asthma and so does my daughter.  Two of my sister's 3 kids have it.  Our mother had it.  Too many times, too many people still think it's just a cough and it'll get better.  It's not just a cough, and while it can get better - as it did in my daughter's case - it took years of serious medical care, it doesn't always get better and it never really goes away.

[louisa05]

56 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Holy mother of god that's cheap. 

We had a two bedroom duplex with attached garage and access to a second garage stall for $600 a month until two years ago. BUT we got a rent cut because Mr. 05 took care of the lawn and general maintenance for the whole building. When we bought our house and moved two years ago, she upped the rent closer to the current market value in town: $1000/month-- without access to the second garage stall. 

Before we were in a position to buy, we looked at moving to a slightly larger duplex a few blocks away; still a two bedroom. It was $1400 a month. This town is a bit high for small town Nebraska, though. There's a serious housing shortage here for both renters and buyers and has been for a few years. Our house would've been cheaper even in Omaha. But we like it here and the location works for us. 

 

 

1 hour ago, AuntKrazy said:

So what if a woman works to afford a cruise or shoes or car or luxuries?  There still is nothing in Scripture against a woman working.  And there is also nothing wrong with enjoying the fruit of one's labor.  Just like there is nothing wrong with choosing a different way of life.

I don't disagree, but I also don't think that very many women work just to afford luxuries. Not in the U.S. anyway. I've known a few who do, but I suspect they are in the minority, especially among couples who have children at home. 

[wallysmommy]

Notice Jack Sprat said "I lived on $900 a month, with a wife..."  He didn't say "We lived on..."  I call shenanigans on a lot of his BS.  Here are some possible scenarios: 1) the inherited money and the place to live; 2) the $900 is his monthly allowance from his parents; 3) they're living off someone else like GHaw and family does; 4) $900 is his salary from a church and the church provides the housing and pays all the expenses.

[Maggie Mae]

51 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I don't disagree, but I also don't think that very many women work just to afford luxuries. Not in the U.S. anyway. I've known a few who do, but I suspect they are in the minority, especially among couples who have children at home. 

I know some women who work to afford luxuries for the family, but I think they also enjoy working. It's not every woman's dream to stay home with kids. 

[Frog99]

2 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

So what if a woman works to afford a cruise or shoes or car or luxuries?  There still is nothing in Scripture against a woman working.  And there is also nothing wrong with enjoying the fruit of one's labor.  Just like there is nothing wrong with choosing a different way of life. 

I will admit that I struggle with the wife of one's of my husband's friends because she has never had a job, nor did she go to school.  But my struggle with her isn't about either of those things, it's that she is so incredibly needy and co-dependent that I don't know how to relate to her at all.

Another friend-of-my-husband's wife is a stay at home mom, but she is well-read, independent, and healthy.  When we get together we stay up half the night talking about all manner of things and laughing like a couple of teenage girls.  I think many of the women in fundie circles experience a lack of respect/criticism from people outside patriarchy because those women have embraced an infantilized identity. In such situations,  working outside the home is seen as a positive, and often necessary, first step toward differentiation/agency/independence.  It's not the role that we object to at all, but rather the lack of individual identity.

 

Bolded what I’m referencing- I think that’s a really important point. While at my son’s karate lesson, I was reading through comments and came across Allison Anderton’s comment about how she’s a stay at home mom and often feels judged by those who do work, and while she asks about their work and such, no one asks about her work at home. She said no one is interested in hearing about how she fished a Barbie shoe from the drain or came up with an alternative to swiffer pads. And she’s right- unless there is a hilarious story that goes with either of those scenarios, I’m not interested. A- it’s not interesting or unusual- most of us who work manage our homes and have similar situations and B- is that ALL you can come up with? It is possible to live simply without being simple. 

48 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I don't disagree, but I also don't think that very many women work just to afford luxuries. Not in the U.S. anyway. I've known a few who do, but I suspect they are in the minority, especially among couples who have children at home. 

Speaking for myself, I don’t work for luxuries or things. First and foremost I work for health insurance, then for money to help cover our living expenses, food, and kid activities. We are hoping to go on our first vacation in 8 years in July and it won’t be fancy. We do have some nice things- mainly a nice medium sized house (for our area) in a very nice, quiet, safe neighborhood and I drive a car DH and I bought new 6 years ago. I don’t do designer bags (don’t like logos) or designer clothes, and shoes are whatever I can find that will fit my fat, strangely shaped feet (growing up my mother insisted that our shoes come from a nice shoe store with staff that ensured proper fit- I shudder to think what my hideous feet would look like if she hadn’t done that). 

[Lgirlrocks]

All I can say is amen. Lori you have a right to freedom of speech because women fought for it. You have a right to equal pay, if you have to work, because women fought for it. Could you imagine if ken passed away when the kids were little and left you with no savings. You have no money to fall back on and have to work. No imagine this is back during the time when you believe life was perfect. So you get this job and guess what you make pennies on the dollar compared to the men you work with. Doesn’t seem fair now does it? Women fought so you can make equal wage to men with equal qualifications. 

education is so important. History tends to repeat its self. Knowledge is power. You vote, you went to college, you did work for a while. Quit being a fucking hypocrite. God never said women can’t work outside of the home. You are just a lazy person who tries to use the Bible to justify it. 

[Maggie Mae]

Lori lacks empathy. She's obviously intelligent enough to learn to read and write, she can't really comprehend what she's reading, unless she wants to, but her lack of empathy and ability to put herself in someone else's shoes is quite pronounced. Not sure if there is an internet diagnoses for that affliction. 

[Frog99]

Prudently hasn’t been around on the FB page much but she sure is active on Lori’s IG page. She has some redeeming qualities but also has many of the same beliefs as Lori- she just “hides” them better. 

These fundie women take their own experiences and personalities and generalize them to all women- as though to box them in. The beauty of humankind comes from our differences. 

Ive been thinking a lot about what it means to be set apart and in the world but not of it, and peculiar. If anyone has some insights or resource suggestions, I’m all ears. I’ve been thinking that maybe they have it wrong- the world seems quick to condemn and shame, to ignore the suffering of others, and to pass judgment. Maybe we establish ourselves as champions of love, leaving any conviction or what not to God. 

[louisa05]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I know some women who work to afford luxuries for the family, but I think they also enjoy working. It's not every woman's dream to stay home with kids. 

I didn't mean all women with children want to stay home. I meant that children are expensive and they have bills to pay with their income. 

[onemama]

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

I’ve been thinking that maybe they have it wrong- the world seems quick to condemn and shame, to ignore the suffering of others, and to pass judgment. Maybe we establish ourselves as champions of love, leaving any conviction or what not to God. 

I think that makes us peculiar indeed.  Jesus did say that we would be known for the love we have for one another and for our unity.  Western society is very individualistic (not bad, per se) but that leaves a lot of people to fight alone. In the church, it shouldn't be like that. 

[Sarah92]

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

Ive been thinking a lot about what it means to be set apart and in the world but not of it, and peculiar. If anyone has some insights or resource suggestions, I’m all ears. I’ve been thinking that maybe they have it wrong- the world seems quick to condemn and shame, to ignore the suffering of others, and to pass judgment. Maybe we establish ourselves as champions of love, leaving any conviction or what not to God. 

A friend and I were talking this weekend of making an idol of "our faith". I think a lot of leaders and other folks make an idol of their projected faith image. But it's just that, an image. They are unable to see past a very surface level set of rules and regulations. Unfortunately, it's all a white washed tomb. Cold and lifeless. 

Christ has called us to life abundant and freedom. It's warm and lovely. Lately I've been working on simplifying my faith to "love God  and love others" and attempt to reflect my actions on whether something will cause harm. I feel like we make living out our faith so complicated when it shouldn't be.  Nevertheless, in order to help others I have to acknowledge the pain and suffering. The world isn't sunshine and rainbows. I can't help others if I'm blind to their pain. That means sitting with them in the ashes and mourning. Idk I think living apart is holding yourself to the fruits of the spirit. I have lot of different thoughts but It's too much to type out 

[smittykins]

12 hours ago, Briefly said:

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.  I have asthma and so does my daughter.  Two of my sister's 3 kids have it.  Our mother had it.  Too many times, too many people still think it's just a cough and it'll get better.  It's not just a cough, and while it can get better - as it did in my daughter's case - it took years of serious medical care, it doesn't always get better and it never really goes away.

There was a series of PSAs for a food-related charity(the name escapes me)with people having to make a choice between food and medicine or rent(one featured a young girl coughing in a bathroom with the shower running as her mother holds an empty pill bottle).  The VO said “Food or medicine/rent?  No one should have to make that choice.”

Edited June 5, 2019 by smittykins

[louisa05]

8 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

A friend and I were talking this weekend of making an idol of "our faith". I think a lot of leaders and other folks make an idol of their projected faith image. But it's just that, an image. They are unable to see past a very surface level set of rules and regulations. Unfortunately, it's all a white washed tomb. Cold and lifeless. 

Christ has called us to life abundant and freedom. It's warm and lovely. Lately I've been working on simplifying my faith to "love God  and love others" and attempt to reflect my actions on whether something will cause harm. I feel like we make living out our faith so complicated when it shouldn't be.  Nevertheless, in order to help others I have to acknowledge the pain and suffering. The world isn't sunshine and rainbows. I can't help others if I'm blind to their pain. That means sitting with them in the ashes and mourning. Idk I think living apart is holding yourself to the fruits of the spirit. I have lot of different thoughts but It's too much to type out 

Years ago, when I had first come to teach in a Catholic school after the spiritual and emotional abuse in the Christian school, I had a conversation with a very wise permanent deacon at a student retreat. He said that you aren't really a Christian if it is merely a thing that you do, a label that you wear. You aren't truly a Christian until it is part of the fabric of who you are. 

I've known very few people who are, in the depth of who they are,  Christians. I have known way too many who eagerly claim the label, loudly proclaim it and even slap it on everything else around them. 

[polecat]

15 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

5 people in NYC on $900/month with one income.

Wtf.

I cannot even make up a scenario in which that's possible. So...they have millions in savings. They miraculously don't pay rent or any sort of coop/housing fee. Utilities and food alone would kill that.

 

I live in an extremely low COL area -- maybe a third or even a fourth of what NYC is -- and my family of five would need at least twice that to live not comfortably but just barely make it (shelter, food, heat, water). He's full of shit. 

Either that, or his family was living in a car and eating scraps out of dumpsters.