if your husband is nice, you're also not submissive enough

[ChunkyBarbie]

I could be wrong, but i think you don't have to submit to anything that is against god. which armed robbery may be. spousal battery and rape are okay. but probably not armed robbery.

Cuz spousal battery and rape are totally okay with Fundy God! :think:

[Rachel333]

I remember one fundie blogger from back before I started coming here who was really into submission, but it kind of weirded her husband out. He actually asked her not to submit, and finally told her not to wear a headcovering. She had a huge dilemma: show the world how submissive she is to her husband, or actually be submissive. Fundies can be really funny.

[Black Aliss]

My husband woke up before me and went to the store to get coffee creamer and waffles. He made a pot of coffee, then woke me up once everything was ready. He was nice enough to drive me to get our daughter at a sleepover today so I wouldn't have to drive on the dreaded turnpike I hate and avoid at all costs. He volunteered(he is off today) to drive because he knows I hate that road,so how can I get submissive when he is being nice all on his own?

It's okay. You're being submissive enough and he has "a servant's heart". Something most of the husbands of the submissive bloggers seem to be lacking.

[devilsadvocate]

I can't say that I relate to this fetish that some people have for living a 24/7 dom/sub lifestyle. It isn't for me.

So when someone starts babbling about how my relationship "should" be, all I can think is, "Um...no."

My boyfriend is a very kind man and...dare I say it? Usually I am the bossier one of the two of us. We're happy this way. It works for us. If you get off on the submission thing, fine, that's your kink, but not all of us are as kinky as you are, lady.

[duplessis3]

No, nature does not teach me that long hair is disgraceful on a man, and if my hair is my covering already then why do I need to wear a scarf? (Sorry, I can't stand Paul.)

[BexRani]

This article she wrote is quite pathetic. Why do people confuse submission as servitude??? Submission is NOT servitude in the Bible! And it is NOT what my husband and I believe in. I support my husband, love him and respect him just like a good man like him deserves. And he loves and cherishes me and is unbelievably kind!

[AnnoDomini]

Several of the comments are pretty horrifying too.

Commenter 'Ephesians 22' is particularly kool-adey. It's like, lady! You're not a child unable to think for yourself!

[AnnoDomini]

No, nature does not teach me that long hair is disgraceful on a man, and if my hair is my covering already then why do I need to wear a scarf? (Sorry, I can't stand Paul.)

Oh man, I'm still kind of torn because I can't really refute the Bible's verse on long hair, but... I loove long hair on men, as long as it's kept well, of course, and it flatters the face.

[Guest Anonymous]

Husband and wife are equal in marriage. My marriage anyways. Both give %100 to each other. If there is a major decision my husband has final say. But he always asks for my input. :)

This article she wrote is quite pathetic. Why do people confuse submission as servitude??? Submission is NOT servitude in the Bible! And it is NOT what my husband and I believe in. I support my husband, love him and respect him just like a good man like him deserves. And he loves and cherishes me and is unbelievably kind!

Well gee, maybe it's because so many preachers and patriarses teach that's what it is. My back gets up every single time someone swans in here talking about the wonders of submission in their super special marriage with their adoring Nigel. It almost always reeks of trying too hard to convince themselves, if not of outright desperation.

[saraelise]

I can't say that I relate to this fetish that some people have for living a 24/7 dom/sub lifestyle. It isn't for me.

So when someone starts babbling about how my relationship "should" be, all I can think is, "Um...no."

My boyfriend is a very kind man and...dare I say it? Usually I am the bossier one of the two of us. We're happy this way. It works for us. If you get off on the submission thing, fine, that's your kink, but not all of us are as kinky as you are, lady.

I think a 24/7 D/s relationship grounded in BDSM and not what she interprets as God would freak her out. The immodesty for one thing...

[Jewess]

Yea, that is totally and completely nuts. Some of us married good husbands who actually care about us and are respectful of our feelings and want to do nice things for us.

[Angri-la]

Yea, that is totally and completely nuts. Some of us married good husbands who actually care about us and are respectful of our feelings and want to do nice things for us.

I did. So what is wrong with having a good man who does nice things for me because he loves me, and sees me as an equal partner, not someone he needs to "lead". He also comes with a reasonable sized ego, which does not require his wife and daughter to treat him like a King, even if he doesn't deserve it. My daughter brings NO man his slippers, unless she is over 18 and it is consensual; then it is none of my business!

[GenerationCedarchip]

That is just nuts. And it makes me wonder what kind of life this woman has had if she thinks that a husband has to be very demanding or difficult. Me? I married a really nice, considerate guy. It's not like I broke him to my will or anything.

[margiebargie]

It is very strange that she assumes any decent, kind husband must have a nasty, bitchy wife. My husband is a stand up guy. It's got nothing to do with me. He's got great character all on his own. I'm just smart for picking him.

Conversely, it is very strange that she thinks a good husband must be a demanding asshole.

Fundies are so odd, so very, very odd.

[Confused_by_religion]

I remember one fundie blogger from back before I started coming here who was really into submission, but it kind of weirded her husband out. He actually asked her not to submit, and finally told her not to wear a headcovering. She had a huge dilemma: show the world how submissive she is to her husband, or actually be submissive. Fundies can be really funny.

From some blogs I also get the impression that it's the women who are drawn to the fundie lifestyle, while the husbands are more like..."what the heck's going on? Why the ugly scarves all of a sudden?" And then somehow they are pressured to behave like a "godly head" and the whole family gets sucked in. Weird, it's like turkeys pining for Thanksgiving with these women.

Somehow it makes sense, though, in my experience, it's women rather than men who feel the need to nurture their spiritual side, while most men are rather indifferent. But that may be different on your side of the Atlantic. :-)

[Confused_by_religion]

No, nature does not teach me that long hair is disgraceful on a man, and if my hair is my covering already then why do I need to wear a scarf? (Sorry, I can't stand Paul.)

It seems to me that nature teaches that lots of hair (all over) on a man is GOOD, because it will keep them from dying in droves in the cold of winter? But of course, when god created Adam, he created Eve with scissors to get rid of that unnatural hair. :lol:

Actually, the scarf/hair debate is really raging in headcovering circles. The moderate view seems to be that you cover your hair when praying, if at all.

Yes, I agree on Paul, very creepy guy, we'd probably all have profited if he'd never gone to Damascus and fallen off his horse.

[Austin]

It is very strange that she assumes any decent, kind husband must have a nasty, bitchy wife. My husband is a stand up guy. It's got nothing to do with me. He's got great character all on his own. I'm just smart for picking him.

Hey, I won the friggin' lotto with mine! :D

Conversely, it is very strange that she thinks a good husband must be a demanding asshole.

I wonder if her own husband is a huge asshole and she's looking around at her friends' (does she have any?) decent husbands and is trying to find a way to reconcile her own husband's assholery with her view of herself as submitted and righteous. Clearly, these women who are married to nice, decent, kind men are not submissive enough - that's what it must be!

[emmiedahl]

I thought that if you submitted completely, then your husband would morph from a wife-beating, child-molesting deadbeat into a great, caring guy. That is what the Pearls say at least. Maybe we are all just really submissive wives here at FJ and that is why our husbands are so great.

[Confused_by_religion]

I thought that if you submitted completely, then your husband would morph from a wife-beating, child-molesting deadbeat into a great, caring guy. That is what the Pearls say at least. Maybe we are all just really submissive wives here at FJ and that is why our husbands are so great.

...submissive in such a clandestine way that he doesn't notice. Seems to work great! :-)

[kpmom]

...submissive in such a clandestine way that he doesn't notice. Seems to work great! :-)

Submissive in such a clandestine way that I, the wife, don't even notice it. Also works great.

[HoneyBunny]

That blog reminds me of that 12 year old daughter blog that's currently active. Extreme fundies always seem to be second-guessing, and scrutinizing and unwilling to take things as they appear. Surely there's some form of extreme paranoia at hand here?

[Confused_by_religion]

I just read through the comments with mounting horror. The "I never question him" brigade sound pretty unhealthy, must have extremely low self-esteem and very horrible husbands. Why would god have given them brains if they shouldn't use them? And isn't man as fallible as woman? They seem to have a bad case of selective bible-reading.

[kayray]

Well, when you see someone who has either been raised with or adopted a belief system that confuses "fear" and "slavery" with "respect", and have little self-esteem and self-awareness, it is easy to see why they cannot imagine how men could exist who have tremendous respect and love for their wives as true equals and partners, without any nagging.

I feel tremendously fortunate to have met and married a loving, caring, respectful, emotionally aware/connected and truly genuine husband, however, I do not believe that was just pure luck, and I also believe there are more like him out there. It is sad that there are so many women with such low standards and self esteem who are convinced that they must "submit" for me to treat them with respect. Even that fails miserably as they are only then treated in relation to the "role" they can play-act, rather than respected and loved as true individuals with their own voice. They truly are missing out on finding a relationship where there is mutual love, sharing, discourse and support.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I thought that if you submitted completely, then your husband would morph from a wife-beating, child-molesting deadbeat into a great, caring guy. That is what the Pearls say at least. Maybe we are all just really submissive wives here at FJ and that is why our husbands are so great.

A crazy bat shit fundie once told me I was in a submissive marriage because I don't do big stuff w/ out asking my husband first. (i'm not talking like, going to the store, i'm talking like, buying a couch or car or renovating the basement). My husband read that conversation over my shoulder and laughed so hard he fell off the bed. His response? "The day you are actually submissive to me I'll assume 1 of 2 things. 1. You've taken leave of your senses, or 2. You're trying to be kinky. I wanted a firecracker crazy woman and I got her"

[BlackHawk]

A crazy bat shit fundie once told me I was in a submissive marriage because I don't do big stuff w/ out asking my husband first. (i'm not talking like, going to the store, i'm talking like, buying a couch or car or renovating the basement). My husband read that conversation over my shoulder and laughed so hard he fell off the bed. His response? "The day you are actually submissive to me I'll assume 1 of 2 things. 1. You've taken leave of your senses, or 2. You're trying to be kinky. I wanted a firecracker crazy woman and I got her"

Wait... so to speak to your partner before spending big money on something makes you submissive? Seriously? When is it acceptable to spend a large chunk of money without talking to all involved?