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if your husband is nice, you're also not submissive enough


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obedient to my husband blog: obedienttomyhusband.blogspot.com/2011/10/wife-submit.html

so, if i'm understanding all this correctly...if your husband is angry and abusive, submit more.

also...if your husband is kind and considerate...submit more?

just trying to make sure i'm clear.

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Yep, you got it. You can never be too submissive. This woman's ENTIRE life revolves around being as submissive as she can toward her husband. I wonder what would happen if he ordered her to stop being submissive? I'd love to see her blog on that conumdrum.

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My husband woke up before me and went to the store to get coffee creamer and waffles. He made a pot of coffee, then woke me up once everything was ready. He was nice enough to drive me to get our daughter at a sleepover today so I wouldn't have to drive on the dreaded turnpike I hate and avoid at all costs. He volunteered(he is off today) to drive because he knows I hate that road,so how can I get submissive when he is being nice all on his own?

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OMG, this would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic:

You say you are a submissive wife.

You say he is a kind, undemanding husband.

I am suspicious of that.

Have you really got a husband who is so careful all the time not to require something uncomfortable of you? Is that really such a good husband? I am suspicious that you have him on a choke collar. He doesn't dare ask some things of you because he knows how you would respond.

What would your response be if:

He called you at your ladies Bible study because he really needed you to bring him tools or keys that he forgot? Would he even dare to call you? Would he be branded as unthoughtful, demanding, or callous toward your apparent need to study the Bible?

What is your response if:

He invites people home from church on Sunday to eat lunch at your house without consulting you about it and just lets you know in the car on the way home that 5 or 10 people are coming for lunch? Is he able to freely invite whom he wants? Would you feel he is insensitive to all the unplanned work?

What would you think if:

He actually wanted you to wear a more modest dress or head covering?

Is he able to stand against the normal and do RIGHT because you are his helpmeet and you will support and submit? Or must he follow the tide because of you?

Submission is only called upon when there are disagreements. If you are happy with his plans, or agree together there is no submission in these things. It is when YOUR OWN PLANS have been spoiled that you can practice submission. It is then that you need to DIE to your SELF and follow God's plan for you as a wife.

We think that gender-based submission is a sort of sick joke in our house, but I'll be happy to answer her questions.

You say you are a submissive wife. - not a chance in hell

You say he is a kind, undemanding husband. - this part is true

I am suspicious of that. - Really? Well, maybe you should consider that not everyone marries an asshole.

Have you really got a husband who is so careful all the time not to require something uncomfortable of you? I think he regularly considers my comfort, just as I consider his. Is that really such a good husband? Well, he's got his flaws - don't we all - but yeah, he really is such a good husband. I am suspicious that you have him on a choke collar. He doesn't dare ask some things of you because he knows how you would respond. You sure are suspicious, aren't you? Why? Are you a shrew to your spouse and just projecting your bitchiness onto every other woman?

What would your response be if:

He called you at your ladies Bible study because he really needed you to bring him tools or keys that he forgot? Would he even dare to call you? Would he be branded as unthoughtful, demanding, or callous toward your apparent need to study the Bible? We have called each other in numerous situations when we've been in binds. We have both interrupted our own schedules to meet the needs of the other because that spouse really needed us. We both know how to separate a true emergency from a minor inconvenience, so when the other spouse calls, we know it's serious. That's what people who love each other do. If anyone would brand him as unthoughtful or demanding, it wouldn't be me, and I'd [figuratively] take the head off of anyone who would dare suggest he is those things.

What is your response if:

He invites people home from church on Sunday to eat lunch at your house without consulting you about it and just lets you know in the car on the way home that 5 or 10 people are coming for lunch? Is he able to freely invite whom he wants? Would you feel he is insensitive to all the unplanned work? Well, I don't go to church, so it's an unlikely scenario. But in terms of inviting other people over on the spur of the moment, it would depend upon the situation. It would be a rare scenario where we couldn't consult the other spouse, but I think we both feel free to invite anyone over that we'd like. As far as enough food, that's what God made take-out for.

What would you think if:

He actually wanted you to wear a more modest dress or head covering? I would think he had lost his mind and would seek psychiatric help for him immediately.

Is he able to stand against the normal and do RIGHT because you are his helpmeet and you will support and submit? Or must he follow the tide because of you? He regularly stands up for what's right in the face of the status quo. It's part of who he is and I support him because I respect the person that he is. I don't need to submit to him in order to support him. Because, ya know, we're both adults and all.

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OMG, this would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic:

We think that gender-based submission is a sort of sick joke in our house, but I'll be happy to answer her questions.

You say you are a submissive wife. - not a chance in hell

You say he is a kind, undemanding husband. - this part is true

I am suspicious of that. - Really? Well, maybe you should consider that not everyone marries an asshole.

Have you really got a husband who is so careful all the time not to require something uncomfortable of you? I think he regularly considers my comfort, just as I consider his. Is that really such a good husband? Well, he's got his flaws - don't we all - but yeah, he really is such a good husband. I am suspicious that you have him on a choke collar. He doesn't dare ask some things of you because he knows how you would respond. You sure are suspicious, aren't you? Why? Are you a shrew to your spouse and just projecting your bitchiness onto every other woman?

What would your response be if:

He called you at your ladies Bible study because he really needed you to bring him tools or keys that he forgot? Would he even dare to call you? Would he be branded as unthoughtful, demanding, or callous toward your apparent need to study the Bible? We have called each other in numerous situations when we've been in binds. We have both interrupted our own schedules to meet the needs of the other because that spouse really needed us. We both know how to separate a true emergency from a minor inconvenience, so when the other spouse calls, we know it's serious. That's what people who love each other do. If anyone would brand him as unthoughtful or demanding, it wouldn't be me, and I'd [figuratively] take the head off of anyone who would dare suggest he is those things.

What is your response if:

He invites people home from church on Sunday to eat lunch at your house without consulting you about it and just lets you know in the car on the way home that 5 or 10 people are coming for lunch? Is he able to freely invite whom he wants? Would you feel he is insensitive to all the unplanned work? Well, I don't go to church, so it's an unlikely scenario. But in terms of inviting other people over on the spur of the moment, it would depend upon the situation. It would be a rare scenario where we couldn't consult the other spouse, but I think we both feel free to invite anyone over that we'd like. As far as enough food, that's what God made take-out for.

What would you think if:

He actually wanted you to wear a more modest dress or head covering? I would think he had lost his mind and would seek psychiatric help for him immediately.

Is he able to stand against the normal and do RIGHT because you are his helpmeet and you will support and submit? Or must he follow the tide because of you? He regularly stands up for what's right in the face of the status quo. It's part of who he is and I support him because I respect the person that he is. I don't need to submit to him in order to support him. Because, ya know, we're both adults and all.

:clap:

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erk. Major red herrings there.

A kind and undemanding husband does not necessarily mean there is a nagging, bitter harpy for a wife in the household. My husband does his best to be kind and considerate. We both fail at times in that regard, because we are two individuals with different ways of processing things, and different perceptions. When that happens, whoever made the mistake or caused the inconvenience apologizes, and remembers that for next time, so they don't do it again.

But by no means is he on a choke collar. Nor me. :D

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My husband told me that I look sexy in jeans and that he hates skirts. So what do I do? Submission and modesty are in direct competition! THE HORROR.

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that is a pickle, vera. i guess all you can do is submit by wearing jeans, but pray that god lays it on your husband's heart to make you wear skirts.

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A kind and undemanding husband does not necessarily mean there is a nagging, bitter harpy for a wife in the household.

This is what got to me, too...a kind man is not a result of a nagging shrew of a wife! sometimes to kind people really can end up together. (not that i would know this by personal experience. ar ar.)

eta: the comments are all sorts of FUBAR, too.

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Perhaps she's projecting a bit. Her husband is only nice when she's a harpy therfore all men are only nice when the wife is a bitch.

Also, I will pray deeply for my husband to come to his senses. ;)

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UGH! If your husband is a kind, caring, decent man, well then it must be FAKE and it must be YOUR fault for being such a bitchy shrew, having him on a choke collar! If you REALLY submitted, he'd have you dancing attendance on him even from miles away and making decisions that affect you without consulting you at all!

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If your husband wanted to commit an armed robbery at the local bank--would you be willing to leave your church ladies group and be his helpmeet? Or would you crush his dreams and refuse to participate?

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Is it horrible that the only way I remembered who she was was when I saw her picture and thought, "Oh, the ugly one (I more accurately, "the one with the ugly clothes/headcovering")!" :oops: I don't feel too bad because she's crazy and thinks divorce is EVIL even when a husband is beating up his wife and sexually abusing his children.

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If your husband wanted to commit an armed robbery at the local bank--would you be willing to leave your church ladies group and be his helpmeet? Or would you crush his dreams and refuse to participate?

I could be wrong, but i think you don't have to submit to anything that is against god. which armed robbery may be. spousal battery and rape are okay. but probably not armed robbery.

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Isn't this the same woman who writes the "Narrow is the Way" blog, as well as the infamous bugs-in-the-flour and pretzel-salt-reusing one? How many blogs is she gonna do?

Also, I think it's very sad that she can't imagine or is very suspicious of a scenario in which husbands have good manners and extend basic courtesy to someone they say they love ... in fact, I'M suspicious of HER suspicion.

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But isn't the counter argument to biblical submission in that the husband is to love the wife in return (and I guess with love, women will naturally, unwillingly submit to him :roll: )? I think either she's projecting because her husband's an asshole or she's just being a hypocrite. My husband and I are kind and undemanding to each other. We make suggestions to each other of things we'd like to see (for example, he had a beard growing for a while and I liked him better with it shaven) from our spouse, and a few days later, we'll do it because it's what the other likes for us to have and we want to be attractive to each other.

I never quite understood the "head covering" fiasco with fundies.

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There are a few, I don't know if she is one, that say you should submit even to sin. Because we're to be like Sarah, who went along with Abraham's lie (that she was his sister, not his wife). They believe that if you submit fully, God will at the last minute rescue you from actually sinning. Or that he will not count the sin against you.

But mostly they say "Has you husband asked you to sin? No? Well then you're just looking for excuses not to submit."

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I never quite understood the "head covering" fiasco with fundies.

This one actually does have some grounding in scripture. (sorry a bit long) from the NAS:

Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to understand that [a]Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. 4 Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head. 5 But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman [c]whose head is shaved. 6 For if a woman does not cover [d]her head, let her also [e]have her hair cut off; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to [f]have her hair cut off or [g]her head shaved, let her cover [h]her head. 7 For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8 For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; 9 for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. 10 Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11 However, in the Lord, neither is woman [j]independent of man, nor is man [k]independent of woman. 12 For as the woman [l]originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things [m]originate from God. 13 Judge [n]for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 But if one is inclined to be contentious, we have no [o]other practice, nor have the churches of God.

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Is it horrible that the only way I remembered who she was was when I saw her picture and thought, "Oh, the ugly one (I more accurately, "the one with the ugly clothes/headcovering")!" :oops: I don't feel too bad because she's crazy and thinks divorce is EVIL even when a husband is beating up his wife and sexually abusing his children.

I think that's how most people remember. I do think she makes a point of not only being modest, but very conspicously so.

Her stance on divorce really pisses me off, because they keep harping on it saying divorce is evil, remarriage is adultery, etc & so on.

But, at the same time her group convinces remarried women to leave their husbands and break up their families because marriage to anyone other than a first husband, even one who left or abused them, is a sin.

Isn't this the same woman who writes the "Narrow is the Way" blog, as well as the infamous bugs-in-the-flour and pretzel-salt-reusing one? How many blogs is she gonna do?

No, the "Narrow is the Way" blogger is the woman I referenced above, Joanne. Joanna (the blogger in the OP) met her online through "biblical womanhood" blogs and convinced her to move into the church basement in some sort of communal living arrangement. They'll never let her remarry or get a job to support herself, so she is living in poverty by straining out bugs and saving salt (yet saving the "good flour" for baking food for the church members her put her in this position), and her sons are building fences and doing labor for the men of the church (I hope they get paid). She seems like sincere person, but she seems to follow them pretty hardcore.

Joanna (OP blogger) does have at least 2 or 3 other blogs, and a web page and facebook where she says pretty much the same stuff. She seems to have a ton of influence over Joanne as well, so it's not surprising that they seem like the same person at times (the identical clothes and headcoverings don't help, either).

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I think that's how most people remember. I do think she makes a point of not only being modest, but unattractive.

Her stance on divorce really pisses me off, because they keep harping on it saying divorce is evil, remarriage is adultery, etc & so on.

But, at the same time, she & her husband and their cult (sorry, but I consider the whole group to be a cult rather than a church) convinced at least one woman to leave her husband, take her children, and come live in their basement in poverty. They justified this because she had a brief marriage at 16 to a guy that got her pregnant then ran off and abandoned her, so they convinced her marriage to anyone else was living in sin.

No, the "Narrow is the Way" blogger is the woman I referenced above, Joanne. Joanna (the blogger in the OP) met her online through "biblical womanhood" blogs and convinced her to leave her current husband, move into the church basement, and give all her assets to the church in some sort of supposed communal living arrangement. They'll never let her remarry or get a job to support herself, so she is living in poverty by straining out bugs and saving salt (yet saving the "good flour" for baking food for the church members her put her in this position), and her sons are building fences and doing unpaid labor for the men of the church. The whole situation is sad, but she seems to have drank the Kool-Aid pretty hardcore.

Joanna (OP blogger) does have at least 2 or 3 other blogs, and a web page and facebook where she says pretty much the same stuff. She seems to have a ton of influence, if not control, over Joanne as well, so it's not surprising that they seem like the same person at times (the identical clothes and over the top headcoverings don't help, either).

OK, I see now. Thank you! I think because they have almost identical names and theologies that I got confused ... oh, and they link to each other. Wow! So, they've got her in the church basement, don't let her work, and don't provide for her basic needs? Even scarier ...

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I was reading both their blogs today and I am so, genuinely, horrified by their perspective on a woman's place and on raising children. The fundamentalism I grew up with was not crazy like this -- I second the thought that they seem like a cult, maybe something started by an abuser with a magnetic personality, or just taken to an extreme by women with serious problems choosing to be second class citizens. Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part; it's hard to see how you get to that sort of state through any sort of organic and rational biblical research.

I can't think of a bigger stumbling block to the 'world' than Christians like this, and it makes me so sad (and angry).

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