Josiah and Lauren 14: Another Grand-Duggar on the Way (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[BookwormExtraordinaire]

I was going to wait until the baby was born before I commented on Lauren's behaviour after her miscarriage, but that cake...

The miscarriage was probably an enormous shock for both of them, and Lauren didn't process the shock and grief in a healthy way. Then she got pregnant pretty quickly again, and instead of this pregnancy being all about this baby, it's almost as much about the miscarriage. Of course it's normal to be sad after a miscarriage and to grieve for a child that will never be, but to focus this much on it when she is pregnant again is not. 

Hopefully, the birth of their daughter will make Lauren put her focus on her instead, but like many others I'm afraid this baby will always live in the shadow of the idea of Asa. Imagine once their daughter is old enough to realise that she'd not exist if Asa had lived and she looks at pictures from that baby shower. That's enough to make anyone feel unwanted... 

There is just something that feels so off with Lauren and Josiah, both individually and as a couple. I feel like Josiah wants to want the life he's living, because he knows it's expected of him, but that he'd rather do something else. Lauren seems to be 100% onboard with the whole fundie family lifestyle, but is not ready to handle the reality of marriage and parenthood yet. 

[Kelsey]

To me, both Josiah and Lauren seem like they are playing a role (with regard to the marriage). Lauren seems like the kind of person that turns everyone off. I wouldn't really want to hang out with any Duggar but Lauren seems like a particularly bad option if that makes any sense.

I saw a picture of the Duggar ladies that was rumored to be during the cake unveiling. In the picture, Joy and Jessa looked hurt and pissed. Jill was polite smiling with an expression of don't like the crazy. Anna looked taken aback. And Michelle was wearing her usual poker face (batshit crazy eyes and high beam smile).

I wouldn't be surprised if Jessa talks some major shit about Lauren to Bin and possibly Jing.

[neurogirl]

7 hours ago, coffeebean7 said:

What does the baby girl cake say? Is it her name? I can’t read the last word.

Anyone want to place bets that their daughter’s first picture online will be in a “Little Sister” onesie? 

Yes the cakes are so hard to read, I didn't realize it said "big brother Asa" until someone on reddit posted about it. 

The second cake says "welcome sweet girl."

To which Anna offered this, "it was such a sweet baby shower! Looking forward to the arrival of your sweet baby girl!" They NEED a new word that means sweet. 

Also, to echo other posters, I thought the PPD thing was a little overly concerned, but now I'm rethinking. What if "sweet baby girl" can't sleep through the night, or has colic, or is definitely not "sweet?" PLEASE Lauren, parent the child you will have, the very real very here baby girl that will need you.

[coffeebean7]

3 hours ago, adidas said:

Their baby shower made it to DailyFail

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7486719/Josiah-Lauren-Duggar-slammed-tacky-sharing-3-250-baby-registry-fans.html

The registry link on her profile is tacky, but I can’t snark on them for registering for a $200+ Baby monitor. Those things are expensive and helpful. Also the stroller they registered for is cheap in the world of strollers. I didn’t look at their registry but those are just the things mentioned in the article. 

I’ll snark on the Asa cake but not that.

 

[Bad Wolf]

The Daily Fail doesn't know the difference between weather and whether. 

[bal maiden]

8 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Maybe it's an obsession on her family side, but I doubt Duggars are encouraging that. They talked a lot about  Jubilee when Michelle miscarried, but she (like Annabell) was a stillborn, there was a delivery and obviously the baby had a tiny baby body. Sure Duggars remember their last baby and she was special because she was going to be #20, but they are not pretending she's here. For them, Josie is the youngest.  And when it comes to early miscarriages, Duggars and Bates don't make a big deal, yes they name the babies and pray but they seem to go on. The unborn babies are not listed as children.

Early miscarriages are unfortunately very common. If fundies start imitating Lauren and consider early miscarriages as *real* children... Wow, it will turn really ugly for these families.

Not to nitpick, but Jubilee was a miscarriage rather than stillborn - she stopped growing at about 16 weeks and Michelle actually miscarried around 19 weeks iirc as she decided to take the expectant management/natural route. A sucky, awful 2nd trimester miscarriage*, but not a stillbirth. They played it like a stillbirth, because that fits nicely into their pro life, life begins at conception framework. 

 

*I am not unsympathetic, I had one recently myself. 

[Caroline]

4 hours ago, BookwormExtraordinaire said:

I was going to wait until the baby was born before I commented on Lauren's behaviour after her miscarriage, but that cake...

The miscarriage was probably an enormous shock for both of them, and Lauren didn't process the shock and grief in a healthy way. Then she got pregnant pretty quickly again, and instead of this pregnancy being all about this baby, it's almost as much about the miscarriage. Of course it's normal to be sad after a miscarriage and to grieve for a child that will never be, but to focus this much on it when she is pregnant again is not. 

Hopefully, the birth of their daughter will make Lauren put her focus on her instead, but like many others I'm afraid this baby will always live in the shadow of the idea of Asa. Imagine once their daughter is old enough to realise that she'd not exist if Asa had lived and she looks at pictures from that baby shower. That's enough to make anyone feel unwanted... 

There is just something that feels so off with Lauren and Josiah, both individually and as a couple. I feel like Josiah wants to want the life he's living, because he knows it's expected of him, but that he'd rather do something else. Lauren seems to be 100% onboard with the whole fundie family lifestyle, but is not ready to handle the reality of marriage and parenthood yet. 

I had a miscarriage (first pregnancy) at 13 weeks, and then got pregnant again three months later.  I didn't even tell people outside of my immediate family until five months.  My daughter was born healthy, and we were beyond grateful.  I didn't ever want to tell her about the miscarriage right before her because I was afraid she would ask herself that very question (Would I be here if that baby had been born?)  My sister spilled the beans about it when my daughter was 20.  She didn't realize I hadn't told her.  My daughter thought I was a little overly protective of her feelings, but understood my concern.  She also understands that miscarriages happen and sometimes there's no reason.  But, I'm not a fundamentalist Christian whose entire life is supposed to be about babies and more babies.  Lauren seems to like attention and that's how I see this strange situation with the cake at another baby's shower.  I understand grieving, but within reason and not so publicly. 

[kesmom]

The more I think about this the more it makes me upset. Poor Joy. I hope it is her choice to attend these events without pressure from anyone else. I cannot imagine what Lauren was thinking with that cake. 

(I lost a full term baby and after several healthy births I also had a 1st trimester loss. Not comparable. I knew a few people who had miscarriages around the same time and none of them behaved like this or tried to say our losses were the same.)

 

[Markie]

I hope Joy is getting support and counselling. Lauren apparently needs it. Hopefully with the new baby and another pregnancy by the time the baby is six months, she will quietly mourn the baby who was miscarried, and focus on loving and raising her living children. Some Biblical classes on Empathy for Lauren and Siah would not go amiss. 

Edited September 21, 2019 by Markie

[just_ordinary]

I really hope that the birth of her daughter will put Baby Asa on the back burner. For the sake of all of them.

 I think she hasn’t dealt well with it at all and I wonder if she is able to actually enjoy her current pregnancy or if she is secretly terrified and scared something will go wrong again. I know from experience that one can get panicky about a lot of things (baby hasn’t noticeable moved for a few outs) after a miscarriage and fall immediately into a mindset of “it’s happening again...”.

[apandaaries]

13 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

 I know from experience that one can get panicky about a lot of things (baby hasn’t noticeable moved for a few outs) after a miscarriage and fall immediately into a mindset of “it’s happening again...”.

I might be an exceptional worrywart, but even without a miscarriage, I worried when pregnant. Especially in the last trimester, when I’d grown accustomed to her moving around, if she was still for too long I’d start harassing her by drinking cold water and such until I’d get her move again.

Now she’s a teenager, so I suppose I’m getting my comeuppance. ? 

[Dandruff]

I wonder if Josiah even knew about the Big Brother cake before it appeared on the table.  Maybe Lauren said she'd take care of the stuff for the party and Josiah said OK.  He's a grown man now, not the child I remember seeing on the early Duggar shows, but he seemed warm and caring then.  And he was close with Joy.  He might also have been taken aback by the cake.

[Glasgowghirl]

5 hours ago, Kelsey said:

To me, both Josiah and Lauren seem like they are playing a role (with regard to the marriage). Lauren seems like the kind of person that turns everyone off. I wouldn't really want to hang out with any Duggar but Lauren seems like a particularly bad option if that makes any sense.

I saw a picture of the Duggar ladies that was rumored to be during the cake unveiling. In the picture, Joy and Jessa looked hurt and pissed. Jill was polite smiling with an expression of don't like the crazy. Anna looked taken aback. And Michelle was wearing her usual poker face (batshit crazy eyes and high beam smile).

I wouldn't be surprised if Jessa talks some major shit about Lauren to Bin and possibly Jing.

Jessa has been known to be snarky and speak her mind, part of me hopes she says exactly what she thinks to Lauren. People have tried to be polite and tell her on social media, that she is being insensitive to Joy, she hasn't listened. Sometimes being nice and polite doesn't cut it and you need to be blunt. 

Joy and Michelle had to deliver Annabell and Jubilee and that cake was insensitive to them. They may have put a smile on but for Joy especially, with it being so soon after her loss, it would have been hard to see, going to the baby shower itself would have been hard enough for her. I defended Lauren at first but now she is pissing me off big time.

[LacyMay]

At the risk of sounding like a terrible human being the way she's acted so far I can't help but be concerned that having this baby is almost going to be a let down for Lauren.

After all the attention she seens to be embracing from her loss having a (God willing) healthy baby at the same other time as 2 other people having healthy babies might be a bit of a shock for her. With Kendra and Anna due at the same time and Abbie not far after she's going to be sharing the limelight. And so far that hasn't seemed to be something she's good at.

 

I too feel terrible for Joy, I think she's going to the showers because she genuinely cares about her Family and Inlaws and wants to celebrate with them but it must be terrible for her. And Lauren's behavior at her shower must have been a slap in the face. I'm glad that she had Jill and likely Jessa to help support her. Actually given how close Jill and Joy seemed to be I'm thinking Jill was probably pissed at Lauren for that cake. 

Edited September 21, 2019 by LacyMay
Riffles all day long

[meee]

6 hours ago, Kelsey said:

To me, both Josiah and Lauren seem like they are playing a role (with regard to the marriage). Lauren seems like the kind of person that turns everyone off. I wouldn't really want to hang out with any Duggar but Lauren seems like a particularly bad option if that makes any sense.

I saw a picture of the Duggar ladies that was rumored to be during the cake unveiling. In the picture, Joy and Jessa looked hurt and pissed. Jill was polite smiling with an expression of don't like the crazy. Anna looked taken aback. And Michelle was wearing her usual poker face (batshit crazy eyes and high beam smile).

I wouldn't be surprised if Jessa talks some major shit about Lauren to Bin and possibly Jing.

Hang on, where's this picture?

[Letizia]

My guess is that Michelle,Joy, Jessa and Jill are horrified by Lauren’s behavior but wouldn’t dare speak it aloud because it would bring up the sort of thoughts that put their beliefs regarding when life starts on shaky ground. I mean how do women like that properly word the fact that Asa and Annabelle aren’t the same. In Lauren’s mind they both lost babies and the others aren’t capable of any critical thinking skills so they can’t even begin to explain the difference to her when they probably feel guilty about feeling there is a difference. And those who keep trying to explain to Lauren on IG are wasting their time because since no one in the family has said anything to Lauren she is just blindly assuming their is no issue. Best case scenario at this point is the new baby’s arrival snaps Lauren back into reality as opposed to sending her off into the struggles of PPD. 

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, Letizia said:

My guess is that Michelle,Joy, Jessa and Jill are horrified by Lauren’s behavior but wouldn’t dare speak it aloud because it would bring up the sort of thoughts that put their beliefs regarding when life starts on shaky ground. I mean how do women like that properly word the fact that Asa and Annabelle aren’t the same. In Lauren’s mind they both lost babies and the others aren’t capable of any critical thinking skills so they can’t even begin to explain the difference to her when they probably feel guilty about feeling there is a difference. And those who keep trying to explain to Lauren on IG are wasting their time because since no one in the family has said anything to Lauren she is just blindly assuming their is no issue. Best case scenario at this point is the new baby’s arrival snaps Lauren back into reality as opposed to sending her off into the struggles of PPD. 

Let’s hope when she experiences labor, delivery and has that healthy, independently viable baby girl in her arms, Lauren will be able to realize and accept the difference. 

[adidas]

7 hours ago, coffeebean7 said:

The registry link on her profile is tacky, but I can’t snark on them for registering for a $200+ Baby monitor. Those things are expensive and helpful. Also the stroller they registered for is cheap in the world of strollers. I didn’t look at their registry but those are just the things mentioned in the article. 

I’ll snark on the Asa cake but not that.

 

There are 109 other items on the registry, adding to a total of well over $3000. I have no problem with good quality baby monitors or prams - but as the article says, what happened to “buy used and pay the difference?” Or being modest and having a less greedy registry? 

It’s like JillRod is Lauren’s mentor. Grifting101.

[SassyPants]

It’s such a catch 22 because the Duggar kids did work and give up their privacy and anonymity in order to help support their family, so I think they each do deserve something in exchange...BUT, the reality of what this has turned into is horrible. In addition, the 2 nd generation are doing the exact same thing to their kids which angers me. This is why I think the Dillard boys will fare the best, as they are no longer being exploited for easy money.  Reality tv needs far better controls and protections in place for minors. In fact, I think using minors without those protections should be illegal. 

You want to have hordes of kids, find a way to support them all on your own volition.

[Letizia]

1 hour ago, meee said:

Hang on, where's this picture?

I think it’s the third one

Spoiler

 

 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

That’s definitely a WTF look on Michelle and some of the others. But it’s not clear that they’re looking at the cakes. Jill’s wearing pants!

[Glasgowghirl]

Baby showers and registry's are only just starting to be a thing here. When my sister was pregnant with her oldest family member's did choose a thing and buy her it for the baby. The majority of the things bought were used for both her children, some used in between both children by other people as well. The pram that my parent's got her was used for both children then youngest nephew decided to use it as a gaming chair because it had good suspension, it finally died after nearly 13 years of constant use in the summer.

[TheOneAndOnly]

I wonder if Lauren is going through some emotional upset, but since everyone around her believes in not showing any negative emotions because Jesus, she latched onto the only thing she had going on that could possibly be okay to be sad about.   

 

[theotherelise]

She's got a spectra breast pump on her registry, so that goes a long way to answering my question about whether any of these people have actual health insurance. I've said before it would be smarter if Jim Bob actually employed the kids and got a group health insurance plan. It kind of makes me wonder if they all pay appropriate payroll taxes. Always cutting corners, these Duggars.

I wonder if Kendra might've still been on her parent's health insurance when she gave birth. Lauren probably could've done the same thing since it wouldn't cost her parents any extra if they have a family insurance plan. Many people without real insurance try the home birth route thinking it will save money. Sometimes it does. Anna's births are probably only a couple thousand.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

59 minutes ago, adidas said:

There are 109 other items on the registry, adding to a total of well over $3000. I have no problem with good quality baby monitors or prams - but as the article says, what happened to “buy used and pay the difference?” Or being modest and having a less greedy registry? 

It’s like JillRod is Lauren’s mentor. Grifting101.

To be fair, the other girls have done the same thing. I do agree it’s beyond tacky, but she’s hardly the first to publicize a registry for the express purpose of getting gifts from fans.