Josiah and Lauren 14: Another Grand-Duggar on the Way (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[CarrotCake]

On 7/27/2019 at 11:06 PM, Bobology said:

Yes, especially because she couldn't have possibly had this particular baby if not for the miscarriage

I really hope that this realization will help Lauren to stop focusing so much on Asa as soon as the new baby is born. Not that she should forget, more that she can think of it as a beautiful thing coming from a sad thing.

[Glasgowghirl]

On 7/29/2019 at 9:59 AM, CarrotCake said:

I really hope that this realization will help Lauren to stop focusing so much on Asa as soon as the new baby is born. Not that she should forget, more that she can think of it as a beautiful thing coming from a sad thing.

I think she will, I did not find her saying that the verse Joy shared was a comfort for her too that offensive or attention seeking the way others did. I doubt Joy seen it that way either. I do think she is still deeply hurt and grieving her loss and Joy and Austin losing Annabell is probably not putting her fear's for this baby at ease. She is still young and given her sheltered upbringing she doesn't seem to know how to channel her emotions. I hope her Josiah have a healthy daughter.

[backyard sylph]

I think she's a young loon, and I find her kind of spooky, but at the same time, being taught your main value is breeding, I suppose you feel like you failed at it if you have a miscarriage, though those are common enough. Maybe she feels like she failed Asa and I'm mildly concerned that when she has this baby, she'll spend an inordinate time feeling guilty about doing things "right," and also worried about doing things wrong.

If there is any tension, regardless of tacky heedless rumors, it probably stems mostly from her anxieties and his attempts to smooth them over, like it might be with any other young couple. Possibly I sound mean about her, but I do remember (faintly) being that young and how huge everything in the world seemed to be from my tiny corner of it.

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

I think she's a young loon, and I find her kind of spooky, but at the same time, being taught your main value is breeding, I suppose you feel like you failed at it if you have a miscarriage, though those are common enough. Maybe she feels like she failed Asa and I'm mildly concerned that when she has this baby, she'll spend an inordinate time feeling guilty about doing things "right," and also worried about doing things wrong.

If there is any tension, regardless of tacky heedless rumors, it probably stems mostly from her anxieties and his attempts to smooth them over, like it might be with any other young couple. Possibly I sound mean about her, but I do remember (faintly) being that young and how huge everything in the world seemed to be from my tiny corner of it.

Personal experience here -

I’m not Fundie or pro life, but I definitely still dealt with guilt over my early miscarriage. I think it’s probably hard not too to be honest. You have all these messages bombarding you about how you should do things while pregnant and I think that makes it really easy to blame yourself when something goes wrong - even if it’s something that very likely wasn’t your fault, as my miscarriage probably was. 

I vividly remember one night after my daughter was born. I was having all night panic attacks during her NICU stay and that night was by far the worst of them. I couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop the panic, and couldn’t keep down any food because it was so bad. At one point I said something to my mom, MIL, and husband about how my daughter deserved perfection from me. I realize how stupid that sounds now, but I honestly believed it in that moment. I do think a big part of that came from a place of lingering guilt over my miscarriage and the fact that she was premature. Time has helped me relax a lot, as has therapy during this pregnancy - though I do still deal with anxiety. 

So I wouldn’t be surprised if Lauren might deal with something like this at some point, though it’s not a given. Hopefully she has supportive people around her if she does experience anything like that. It’s not a fun or easy way to live.

Edited August 1, 2019 by VelociRapture

[Glasgowghirl]

On 8/1/2019 at 4:56 PM, VelociRapture said:

Personal experience here -

I’m not Fundie or pro life, but I definitely still dealt with guilt over my early miscarriage. I think it’s probably hard not too to be honest. You have all these messages bombarding you about how you should do things while pregnant and I think that makes it really easy to blame yourself when something goes wrong - even if it’s something that very likely wasn’t your fault, as my miscarriage probably was. 

I vividly remember one night after my daughter was born. I was having all night panic attacks during her NICU stay and that night was by far the worst of them. I couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop the panic, and couldn’t keep down any food because it was so bad. At one point I said something to my mom, MIL, and husband about how my daughter deserved perfection from me. I realize how stupid that sounds now, but I honestly believed it in that moment. I do think a big part of that came from a place of lingering guilt over my miscarriage and the fact that she was premature. Time has helped me relax a lot, as has therapy during this pregnancy - though I do still deal with anxiety. 

So I wouldn’t be surprised if Lauren might deal with something like this at some point, though it’s not a given. Hopefully she has supportive people around her if she does experience anything like that. It’s not a fun or easy way to live.

It definitely is not an easy way to live, she got married young to family in the public eye. Her and Josiah hadn't really had the chance to get to know eachother before getting married and then she gets pregnant and has a miscarriage. The other married couples, with the exception of Jinger and Jeremy got married, conceived within the first few months of marriage and had their baby's. Jill, Jessa and Joy had complications but the baby's were still healthy. Lauren may feel guilty because she lost the baby. 

Hopefully her new daughter will help her and Josiah heal. 

[Galbin]

Sorry to go off-topic, but I just read this: https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2019/08/josiah-duggar-clashing-with-jim-bob-headed-for-mental-breakdown/.

Is this Matthew thing old news or is this a new revelation? It's also a bit concerning that the article suggests that Josiah is on the edge mental health wise. 

[Lizzybet]

1 hour ago, Galbin said:

Sorry to go off-topic, but I just read this: https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2019/08/josiah-duggar-clashing-with-jim-bob-headed-for-mental-breakdown/.

Is this Matthew thing old news or is this a new revelation? It's also a bit concerning that the article suggests that Josiah is on the edge mental health wise. 

I never heard it, but am not very Duggar savvy. All I know is what I find here, on FJ.

But I don’t give it much weight, in part because it refers to Jinger breaking away and rebelling. Aside from wearing pants, she seems as much JB Duggar’s daughter as ever.

Edited August 7, 2019 by Lizzybet

[Snarkasarus Rex]

Many a Duggar tabloid article starts with ‘a former Duggar employee revealed...’ but I don’t think they’ve ever had any employees that would be that close to the kids. It’s all BS.

[seraaa]

On 8/7/2019 at 1:37 AM, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Many a Duggar tabloid article starts with ‘a former Duggar employee revealed...’ but I don’t think they’ve ever had any employees that would be that close to the kids. It’s all BS.

Yeah. And that source is not robust, they basically just recycle rumours, many of which they make up themselves 

[Glasgowghirl]

I don't take those articles seriously. People did speculate about Jim Bob grabbing him on the show when he appeared upset when it was announced Michelle was pregnant with Jubilee and that he was sent to alert longer than the others so he would conform more but we don't know for sure what went on and how his relationship with Jim Bob is. Josiah and Lauren were open about them having a tough first year of marriage but that was down to him and Lauren losing a baby then his grandmother dying suddenly, I don't think that suggests a mental breakdown. These stories can't be good for him and Lauren right now.

[picklepizzas]

Dear. Lord. It’s just too much. *face palm* “#amazingdaddyof2” when you don’t even have a single baby in hand yet is just too much, Lauren. He literally CAN’T be an amazing daddy yet, YOU are still doing all the work of growing the baby. It’s just too much for me. 

[libgirl2]

28 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

Dear. Lord. It’s just too much. *face palm* “#amazingdaddyof2” when you don’t even have a single baby in hand yet is just too much, Lauren. He literally CAN’T be an amazing daddy yet, YOU are still doing all the work of growing the baby. It’s just too much for me. 

I know! There is nothing wrong with saying "you are going to be an amazing dad" 

[Arkfundy]

She is just seems so young and immature. She says her husband can do anything...except hold down a real 8-5 job. Or any job that isn’t somehow connected to his Dad. I just don’t understand marrying as soon as you can and then you’re only goal is to pop out kids as fast as you can. Even if she has no desire to pursue and education or a degree, waiting on a family a few years, would only strengthen them. I think that’s what bothers me most about them...college isn’t necessarily for everyone(fine), there’s absolutely nothing wrong with tending to the home as your “career”...but the immediate child bearing...ugh...you barely know each other, the paint has barely dried on the walls and pictures in place and then Boom- another person you are responsible for. Just seems so irresponsible. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

I really, really hope she gets the reality check she desperately needs when the baby is born.  If she doesn't, she's just going to be the worst.  

[HeadshipRegent]

Josiah did so much in the eight seconds it took him to impregnate Lauren twice, youguise, it totally counts as being a dad!

[lumpentheologie]

I mean, I get that he took care of her during the miscarriage and is probably also caring for her during what she's said is a difficult pregnancy.  In my opinion that doesn't make him a good dad, though, it makes him a good partner. 

[OyToTheVey]

This makes me stabby. He’s literally never been a ‘daddy’ a day in his life. I get their agenda. But what she’s saying basically makes every sperm donor ever a daddy. Some jiz doesn’t make you a dad. Actual parenting does. 

[Glasgowghirl]

I have been one to defend Lauren on here, while I do still have sympathy for her, her posts are starting to annoy me. As other posters have said she can credit Josiah as being a good husband or say he is going to be a good dad but referring him as a good father of two is not accurate.

I don't think their is any malice in her posts, she's young and immature still but people said the same about Kendra and she doesn't seem to post anything that makes her come across as annoying. 

[VelociRapture]

4 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

I mean, I get that he took care of her during the miscarriage and is probably also caring for her during what she's said is a difficult pregnancy.  In my opinion that doesn't make him a good dad, though, it makes him a good partner. 

I was trying to think of how to feel about her post and was kind of torn on it to be honest because I’ve been in a similar position she’s in now and it’s easy for me to empathize with her. If I was pregnant with my daughter when she had posted this I might have tried defending it, but my daughter is almost 3 now and experience has taught me that there is a difference between what she’s saying and what being a parent actually entails. I think you summed it up pretty perfectly here - Josiah is being a great partner to Lauren if he’s supporting her throughout everything they’ve experienced, but he isn’t really being a great dad. Not yet at least. He has an entire lifetime of being a dad to look forward to and I do hope for their daughter’s sake that he ends up being a great father to her.

So yeah. I think this comment was likely a mix of “young and inexperienced Fundie does social media wrong” and “antiabortionist makes somewhat subtle antiabortion statement.”

[Daisy0322]

I think Lauren just doesn't honestly know the difference yet between being a partner and a father... they have a lot to learn and that's okay we all do one way or another but it's her attitude about it that bothers me. She comes off very pretentious and know-it-all / holier-than-thou

[Rik_Bik]

What made me laugh was the #hesmine. Reminds me of high school. No ones trying to steal your man, Lauren. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I find Lauren insufferable at times. If she were a "normal" teen she'd be a mean girl.  I go through bouts where I think she might just be a very serious personality, not one to let loose and be silly, I'm starting to wonder if she just isn't a snot who thinks she is better than you, it would fit very well into the Duggar family mind set. 

[Melissa1977]

It's going to be very hard for the little girl having to live constantly with the shadow of her unborn sibling.  Even for anti-abortion people, miscarried babies don't equal actually born ones. Remembering them is one thing, but Lauren is pushing the agenda too hard. As anybody else (again, even hardcore fundies) does these things, I wonder if Lauren is using her experience to feel speshul. 

(I feel bad writing this because she's so young and rough experiences at that age are even harder than for older people, but she has an strange vibe).

[lumpentheologie]

Okay, for some reason today I've been really trying to think of things that Siah could be doing that Lauren could consider already being a good dad.  Maybe he's reading and talking to the fetus.  Maybe he's setting up the nursery and making sure the kid has everything it needs when it's born.  Maybe he's working more and setting aside extra money they'll need for the child.  Maybe he's educating himself about child development and parenting techniques.  Really if he's doing anything out of love for their daughter, I imagine Lauren would think of it as him being a good dad.  I would probably see everything besides talking to the fetus as preparing to be a good dad, but I think Lauren would disagree, since to her their daughter is pretty much the same as a baby that has been born. I also think she's very young and might not think about it that much, so that distinction might just be lost on her.  

[viii]

She's such an insufferable twit.