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Bontragers and Bowers 4: Dumbass Love for the Romantic Lost Cause


HerNameIsBuffy

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The Bons met up with Kendalyn Staddon’s sister. She went to Butler school so I imagine she works as a concierge or something similar. 

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I’m sorry but taking your nieces and nephews out on dates is creepier than taking your brothers out on dates. Why can’t she just say she can’t wait to take them places?BD1CBBEC-FD53-4D24-8045-ACA758C93DE8.thumb.png.899a9a8ba7ebd6493e5f125dc04d5298.png

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9 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I’m sorry but taking your nieces and nephews out on dates is creepier than taking your brothers out on dates. Why can’t she just say she can’t wait to take them places?BD1CBBEC-FD53-4D24-8045-ACA758C93DE8.thumb.png.899a9a8ba7ebd6493e5f125dc04d5298.png

I have a very strong suspicion that when she gets married, she won’t be interested in dating her brothers. And when she has kids, she won’t be interested in dating her nieces and nephews. They are all currently just people to fill the emptiness she feels because she is single.

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Am I the only one bugged by the #babiesdontkeep tag? I realize Allison means that they won't be babies forever and to cherish the moments that they are, it just sounds off. Like they have an expiration date. xD

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20 minutes ago, AliC said:

Am I the only one bugged by the #babiesdontkeep tag? I realize Allison means that they won't be babies forever and to cherish the moments that they are, it just sounds off. Like they have an expiration date. xD

They often smell like expired food ;)

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4 hours ago, AliC said:

Am I the only one bugged by the #babiesdontkeep tag? I realize Allison means that they won't be babies forever and to cherish the moments that they are, it just sounds off. Like they have an expiration date. xD

Well, maybe this particular baby won't keep, but in like most fundie families, there will be a newborn for the next +20 years, since  probably all of the Bontrager children will have huge quivers.

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72ACADCC-26AA-4882-AD81-4F6A70A2CCF7.thumb.png.fe00a54f4f34306cc395048f4845baaf.png

not sure where they get this from. The divorce rate has been dropping since the 90’s.

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/10/divorce-united-states-dropping-because-millennials/

my aunt and uncle who are evil Jews have been married for 50 years. Both of their kids are married, 10 plus years, with kids of their own. My mom parents were married for over 40 years. My grandpa died first. All they did was fight but that’s how they show love. 

I know not everyone marries, maybe that’s what they mean.

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6 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

72ACADCC-26AA-4882-AD81-4F6A70A2CCF7.thumb.png.fe00a54f4f34306cc395048f4845baaf.png

not sure where they get this from. The divorce rate has been dropping since the 90’s.

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/10/divorce-united-states-dropping-because-millennials/

my aunt and uncle who are evil Jews have been married for 50 years. Both of their kids are married, 10 plus years, with kids of their own. My mom parents were married for over 40 years. My grandpa died first. All they did was fight but that’s how they show love. 

I know not everyone marries, maybe that’s what they mean.

Fundies like to talk about the divorce rate and how high it is. When really if you break it down, it’s not what they make it seem. First they like to say the divorce rate is 50%. That’s not true. Secondly they need to differentiate between first marriages and subsequent marriages. If you look at first marriages, you have a much lower chance of divorce. But second, third, and fourth marriages all have higher chances of divorce. So basically people who marry and divorce a lot, are skewing the divorce rate a bit. I know a few people who have been married more than 5 times, and others who have been married 3 or 4 times. Lastly, divorce rates jumped immediately after it became easier to divorce in the In the US decades ago. Everyone in a miserable marriage for years finally got the chance to divorce and so they did. And the divorce rate went way up after that and then stabilized a bit. 

Fundies love to make out the US to be so awful when really some things are actually getting better. They just don’t want to talk about that. They don’t want to talk about abortion rates, smoking rates, and divorce rates declining. Because that doesn’t fit with their narrative that everything is turning to shit and we need Jesus to help. 

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Fundies either don't know or won't accept this fact: the divorce rate among college educated people is substantially lower than the rate for the less educated An excellent way to help their children avoid divorce would be to give them an excellent education.

Edited by browngrl
corrected a word
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My theory, which is worth the paper it’s not written on, is that people who think it’s a huge accomplishment to not to have left their spouse are likely not in particularly happy marriages.

otherwise it’s just choosing to remain happy with the one you love.

yes, despite my divorces I still know that most don’t leave over trivial things like they think we non-fundies do.

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Fundies do think marriage is a bigger accomplishment than non-fundies because to them, it is. Especially for the women, marriage and children is all they can claim. They don’t have so many regular life accomplishments like degrees or professional advancement or participation in government or hobbies that don’t involve Jesus. But they do stay with their spouse, stay when they’re unhappy, stay when they’re bored with life, stay when they really disagree with their husbands but can’t say anything because of patriarchy, stay when their children repeat their mistakes, stay when any half decent therapist would literally drive them to court to divorce in the first meeting. I’m not saying that all fundie couples are utterly miserable but those who aren’t certainly know those who are. Look at the Maxwells.

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Hey Bontragers, did you know if is possible to celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, births & marriages WITHOUT also affirming that you think you are better than other people?

You should perhaps ask your Mennonite relatives about that sometime.

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2 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Hey Bontragers, did you know if is possible to celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, births & marriages WITHOUT also affirming that you think you are better than other people?

You should perhaps ask your Mennonite relatives about that sometime.

I’ve always wondered about this. I watched the double wedding live stream and it seemed all the Bon Men like to show pride in front of many guests. Including some in plain dress. I bet it made them uncomfortable but they are probably used to it by now. 

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On 7/10/2019 at 8:19 PM, anachronistic said:

Fundies do think marriage is a bigger accomplishment than non-fundies because to them, it is. Especially for the women, marriage and children is all they can claim. They don’t have so many regular life accomplishments like degrees or professional advancement or participation in government or hobbies that don’t involve Jesus. But they do stay with their spouse, stay when they’re unhappy, stay when they’re bored with life, stay when they really disagree with their husbands but can’t say anything because of patriarchy, stay when their children repeat their mistakes, stay when any half decent therapist would literally drive them to court to divorce in the first meeting. I’m not saying that all fundie couples are utterly miserable but those who aren’t certainly know those who are. Look at the Maxwells.

Yeah, they are told/raised/brainwashed to believe that marriage is their only accomplishment and most important thing in the world. Its what makes them better then everyone else and are God's chosen ones. As a woman that's the most important thing, praised for and etc. To reinforce it they are constantly told and probably tell themselves that everyone else is always divorcing all the time, marriages don't last, etc. Its the reason their not allowed an education or careers or anything else. Its a lie of course. Sure divorce does happen and sometimes even more then once. But just as many have long marriages. Women who went to college and have careers and still marry and have long happy marriages. Even those who divorced once can still go on to marry a second time and have that be a successful marriage. Their told all their sacrifice and suffering, putting up with patriarchy and a horrible husband is worth it, that they'll be rewarded by God in Heaven. Stay away from therapist too because it'll take just one session for most Fundie women to realize they've been sold a pile of crap and bolt. Having a long marriage in and out of Fundie doesn't really mean its a happy or successful one. I've known many regular people who stay in a crappy marriage although I really don't understand it. Isn't really a success if they've been married say 40 years if they hated each other for most of it?  Why not divorce and move on? There's so many Fundies in miserable marriages and yet their holding it up as if its something to be proud of. 

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On 7/10/2019 at 7:53 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

My theory, which is worth the paper it’s not written on, is that people who think it’s a huge accomplishment to not to have left their spouse are likely not in particularly happy marriages.

otherwise it’s just choosing to remain happy with the one you love.

yes, despite my divorces I still know that most don’t leave over trivial things like they think we non-fundies do.

Same. I am not divorced because my ex put his shoes on the counter (he really did & pissed me off & we fought about the ignorance of it, but that is not why we aren't together) or because the only pasta he would eat was spaghetti or because I insisted on cleaning the house before we went on vacation and he thought it was stupid. 

It's easier for fundies to think petty arguments lead to divorce than to acknowledge that there are options; that ending a marriage can often be the very best thing to do; that suffering in silence for Jesus is not going to win anybody any points.

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Her #auntlifeisthebestlife is a sure sign she is trying to convince herself she is happy.  She wants her own husband and children, not just nieces and nephews.  At that age, I would not have posted that hashtag, although I would now at almost 60.  I'm sure she's looking at Sarah Maxwell and praying that isn't her destiny.

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It's almost 1st birthday time for the Bontrager-Bowers double cousins.  I will be SHOCKED if the festivities don't include at least 1 pregnancy announcement.

 

I'm also surprised that the Bowers haven't rounded up a potential helpmeet for their handsome son Charlie yet-- he turned 20 in March.

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I think today is Jubilee’s and tomorrow is Wallace’s birthday. They were born less than 12 hours apart but they have their own birthdays. Which I think is a good thing. 

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9 hours ago, HereticHick said:

It's almost 1st birthday time for the Bontrager-Bowers double cousins.  I will be SHOCKED if the festivities don't include at least 1 pregnancy announcement.

 

Me too, especially as it pertains to Josh and Cassidy.  Their absence from the summer tour makes me suspicious not only because traveling with a toddler is difficult, but because they may be early into pregnancy #2 or at least wanting to actively try for #2. I can't imagine any of these possibilities while being surrounded by extended family.

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29 minutes ago, petrushka said:

Me too, especially as it pertains to Josh and Cassidy.  Their absence from the summer tour makes me suspicious not only because traveling with a toddler is difficult, but because they may be early into pregnancy #2 or at least wanting to actively try for #2. I can't imagine any of these possibilities while being surrounded by extended family.

Traveling with a toddler seems like a lame excuse to me. Because he will be a toddler for awhile. And when he grows out of the toddler phase, there will likely be a new toddler taking his place. So if it is actually because they have a toddler, then they won’t be traveling again for a very long time. 

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Jubilee and Carolina and I had a lovely lunch together this spring. We were adventurous and tried a little Indian place, where Lina and I talked to our hearts content and Jubilee fell in love with curry. I have never seen a baby been such adventurous, cultured taste buds. She will eat ANYTHING, and with relish!

Personally I don't think relish goes well with chocolate pudding.

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My kids were also quite adventurous with food at that age. Now one is picky as hell. I wish he was still that adventurous! 

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Well color me shocked! Lots of happy birthday wishes for the two little Bontragers on their blog todaybut no pregnancy announcements.  

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