Seriously Steve 2: She Was a Woman, So She Probably F*cked Up Somewhere

[kpmom 13,078]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

I know people use a short hand saying nursing home church, but I'm obliged to correct the record and say they have not met at a nursing home in YEARS.  It was a regular retirement community where they were last visiting and offering services.  

Did they ever say why they moved from the nursing home to a retirement community?

They had been at that nursing home for quite awhile, as I recall.  A few residents even came to Susannah's funeral, and they gave Melanie a surprise baby shower after she had Abby.

It seems they had grown close to some of the residents there.

I guess we'll never know for sure, but is it possible they were asked to leave?

[Coconut Flan 43,422]

IIRC and that's iffy, I believe they were asked to discontinue meeting there.  

I kind of suspect part of the reason they were somewhat content with stopping the services they were planning and holding themselves is that Steve is past normal retirement age and now has a heart condition.  I think he may have been ready to "retire" from even the once weekly services and be content or semi-content to sit in a pew instead.  I don't think that means he still won't judge any church they attend because I doubt he'll find one that meets all his supposed standards. 

[Bluebirdbluebell 7,319]

Both Steve (69) and Teri (65) are retirement age. They could move into the retirement home and let the girls stay in the house. Of course I don't think they'll do that. But now going to the retirement home means being around his peers. Heck it could mean people younger than him! I think that will annoy Steve. 

[kpmom 13,078]

1 minute ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Both Steve (69) and Teri (65) are retirement age. They could move into the retirement home and let the girls stay in the house. Of course I don't think they'll do that. But now going to the retirement home means being around his peers. Heck it could mean people younger than him! I think that will annoy Steve. 

I agree.

Steve always referred to the nursing home residents as "the elderly".  Well, Steve, guess what?  You're one of 'em now.

[anniebgood 3,496]

When my son was little, he and several little children the same age would go to the church nursery during the service. After the gospel was read and the sermon was getting ready to start, the doors would open at the back as the pastor sat on the steps leading to the chancel and all these little ones would run in. My son and his friend would always yell at the top of their lungs, Wait for us Pastor, wait for us! In the 5 years he was in the kids area, I never heard one person say anything about them coming in. Steve would have had a conniption fit. 

[kpmom 13,078]

10 hours ago, anniebgood said:

When my son was little, he and several little children the same age would go to the church nursery during the service. After the gospel was read and the sermon was getting ready to start, the doors would open at the back as the pastor sat on the steps leading to the chancel and all these little ones would run in. My son and his friend would always yell at the top of their lungs, Wait for us Pastor, wait for us! In the 5 years he was in the kids area, I never heard one person say anything about them coming in. Steve would have had a conniption fit. 

My church does something similar.  The kids come in just before the announcements are made, and before people come forward for birthday or anniversary prayers.  It's a fun time to see all the kids holding whatever thy made in Sunday School that day.

Steve doesn't believe kids should go off to Sunday School during church services.  And definitely no Youth groups when they get older.

[Jana814 17,052]

2 hours ago, kpmom said:

Steve doesn't believe kids should go off to Sunday School during church services.  And definitely no Youth groups when they get older.

No he doesn’t. I think Youth Groups were the reason he insisted on leaving their other church. 

[allyisyourpally5 2,422]

Yes I think they said Sarah was feeling pressure from youth group or feeling conflicted? And I think the problem was mostly down to modest (or lack of modest) clothing.

[molecule 9,886]

Steve will have to give my parents a good talking-to for not training me better. I'm in my 50s and still can't sit still in church.

[SPHASH 11,583]

From the latest email:

Begin with a mental checklist of Bibletime-behavior goals for your children. Make your guidelines achievable, and explain them to all the children when you begin. Don’t resort to the bad idea of allowing children to play with toys during this time as it teaches them to think about things other than God’s Word.

Like a two year is gonna understand.

[Hane 34,699]

33 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

From the latest email:

Begin with a mental checklist of Bibletime-behavior goals for your children. Make your guidelines achievable, and explain them to all the children when you begin. Don’t resort to the bad idea of allowing children to play with toys during this time as it teaches them to think about things other than God’s Word.

Like a two year is gonna understand.

The same priest who discouraged parents from forcing little kids to sit through Mass shared this anecdote with our parish council:

When a Jehovah’s Witnesses’ Kingdom Hall opened near our church, one of their elders showed up to proselytize to him. Father M pointed to the Bible in the guy’s hand and said, “First, prove to me that everything in that book comes directly from the mouth of God.” I’d love to say the same thing to Stevehovah.

[Lgirlrocks 14,860]

My mom always gave us something to color, write on, or read if we sat during the sermon or a special speaker. Expecting a kid to sit for any length of time when they can’t comprehend what is going ok is wrong. 

[FluffySnowball 13,046]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:24 PM, Jana814 said:

No he doesn’t. I think Youth Groups were the reason he insisted on leaving their other church. 

How heartbreaking. Steve even forbids the very few aspects that could be fun and enjoyable for fundie children and teens. He’s cruel.

[Jana814 17,052]

7 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

How heartbreaking. Steve even forbids the very few aspects that could be fun and enjoyable for fundie children and teens. He’s cruel.

Yes he is!!  I bet the kids were scared to mess up during church or bible time because he probably would throw a fit. 

[smittykins 17,367]

Back when we had small children in attendance(we haven’t had Sunday school in about five years), my Episcopal church would hand out “children’s bulletins” which had coloring pages, puzzles, and a simple explanation of that Sunday’s gospel reading.

Edited January 14 by smittykins

[Bethy 3,667]

These Seriously articles about training toddlers in church have been "seriously" depressing. Having been raised in a church where it was expected that "good" parents would keep their kids in the service with them even from the earliest ages, but that any fuss or squeak was a distraction that could have eternal consequences, I had a lot of issues and stress when I became a mom. We finally started putting our daughter in the nursery when she was three because guess what? I hadn't heard a sermon all the way through since she was born. (Longer, actually, since I was always running to the bathroom when I was pregnant lol) If she wasn't actually fussing or needing to be fed (which required us leaving) I was fully on-task monitoring her behavior and trying to anticipate fussiness or wiggling and I didn't hear a word of the sermon. Guess what, Steve? Moms need spiritual food too, and if they can have a break from the kids and just sit quietly in church, that's a good thing. No need to withhold food from your babies while you're "practicing sitting attentively" at the table - just put them in the nursery.

And the one about early morning Bible time where he chastises women for staying up too late, implicating "texting, computer time, dishes, laundry" and telling them to just "implement a daily schedule" so all this gets done during the day? Stop. Just stop. First of all, Seriously is supposed to be for men, not women. And if your wife is staying up until the wee hours doing dishes and laundry, here's a novel thought - HELP HER! SMH...

[Jana814 17,052]

I don’t think Steve ever helped around the house. He might have when Sarah was young but I’m sure once she was able to do a good chunk of the work he stopped helping. 

[SPHASH 11,583]

23 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

I don’t think Steve ever helped around the house. He might have when Sarah was young but I’m sure once she was able to do a good chunk of the work he stopped helping. 

I've wondered how much housework the Maxwell men really do other than a posed pic of them washing dishes or Christopher doing his annual "pizza making with Daddy" thing.

[Jana814 17,052]

12 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

I've wondered how much housework the Maxwell men really do other than a posed pic of them washing dishes or Christopher doing his annual "pizza making with Daddy" thing.

I doubt the Maxwell men do much housework. They saw their father not doing any, they probably figure they don’t have to either. 

[Foudeb 8,164]

Why do the housework when Anna-and-Mary can be summoned from the father ship at any time to help the maxbride cope with her eleventy small children. 

That's the entire point of them not being allowed to marry, free labour to make their father and brothers' lives easier. 

[allyisyourpally5 2,422]

What would happen if they went on their “not a vacation” trip to Colorado and someone......forgot their Bible?! Would Hell freeze over?

[Jana814 17,052]

3 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

What would happen if they went on their “not a vacation” trip to Colorado and someone......forgot their Bible?! Would Hell freeze over?

If someone forgot their Bible I honestly think Steve would throw the biggest fit it could be heard all over Kansas. 

Edited January 17 by Jana814

[Bethy 3,667]

4 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

What would happen if they went on their “not a vacation” trip to Colorado and someone......forgot their Bible?! Would Hell freeze over?

First of all, that wouldn't happen because for them it would be like a normal person going on vacation without packing any clothes, toiletries, etc.

Second of all, I see them with phones out in the Bible time pictures, so obviously using a phone app is permissible, so they'd have that.

But if they were supposed to take their hard copy Bible and forgot it, I imagine they'd be punished throughout vacation with Steve's glowering disapproval, possibly by withholding food (because Steve has written about how it's so important to have Bible time that you should do it before eating a single morsel of food every day, and that you should study the Bible three times a day because you eat that often) and finally, the situation would be fodder for the next Seriously series.

[anjulibai 20,582]

Leaving their church was about a lot of things, but a big one was that Steve didn't like the criticism he was getting from the church leaders and men. As I recall, they even tried to have a talk with him about his extremism, which included hid issues with female clothing and youth groups. Basically, Steve was being a judgmental ass, people pointed it out to him, and he didn't like it. He didn't think they had a right to have authority over him.

which is what it all comes down to for Steve - control. All the crap with making toddlers sit quietly in church is all part of his control issues.

I bet he won't be going to that church for long. Maybe he will just decide to home church, like the Duggars. He might let the girls go to church occasionally, but giving victims just enough freedom to feel like they have choices is a known abuser tactic, allowing Steve to remain in control.

[kpmom 13,078]

There was picture at the church's website of their Women's Group, and it appeared Sarah was a member.  It would be a shame if she had to leave that.  At least it provided her with a group of friends.

But being that she is still under Steve's "umbrella of protection" (🤢) I imagine she'd leave if Steve did.